You, me and a werewolf makes three
by katkin
Summary: It took a great deal of courage for him to admit her impact on his life. When this friendship turns to something more, will the werewolf confess his feelings or let her walk away?
1. Coming to terms

**EDIT: When I started this fic I wasn't intending there to bemore than one interest in Tonks' love life.Although this is not a 'romance' fic as such, I'm not sure who Tonks will end up with, if any one so don't quote me on saying one specific person! I have a fair idea who though :) Thanks for reading!**

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. They all belong to J.K. Rowling. I don't really want to keep writing disclaimers for every chapter in this story, so read this one a couple of times if you so desire.

A/N: I'd like to point out that, although Harry features a lot in this story, he is not the main character, Lupin and Tonks are. This is going to be a long story, so I could use all the feedback I can get. No flames though, save them for you're fires, it's a tad chilly outside. For all those Sirius fans that are still grieving the fact that he is as D E double D, do not fret. He is appearing in this story! Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoy.

_Bellatrix. It was all to do with her. As soon as the Order has entered the Department of Mysteries that night, Sirius knew that Tonks would head straight for Bellatrix. Her Aunt Bella. Perhaps it was some unspoken guilt inside of the young witch, that a member of her family would be capable and willing to do such things; capable and willing to hurt Harry. Perhaps it was simply the Auror inside of her. Sirius smiled at this thought and brought himself back to the battle at hand. Once he had checked that Harry was ok, Sirius began to fight. He had to admit it felt good, after being cooped up for so long. He risked a glance up at Tonks on the stone steps. She fought well. He was proud of her. That's when it happened. He never saw the spell that hit her, probably blinked and missed it. He only saw her fall. Time seemed to slow. After hitting the first few steps, she was unconscious. But she continued to fall for so long. _**No!**_ Sirius thought, maybe even shouted; he didn't know. She was dead, he knew it, and Bellatrix had killed her. Sirius left Harry's side and ran after his cousin. That was his mistake. He should have listened to the other voice in his head, the matter-of-factly one that sounded like Remus, and go check on Tonks. He would then have known that she was alive. But he listened to the voice that loved to fight, loved danger, loved the risk it brought; James' voice. The voice that got him killed._

Tonks woke the next day, in a bed that was too hard for her liking. She groaned. Her whole body seemed to ache, if only she could remember why. She looked to one side of her and saw a man lying in a bed. She squinted to see who it was. She tried to remember who he was for a while, but gave up realising that she didn't know him after all. Tonks came to the conclusion that she was in St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. Why? What had she been doing? She heard muttered voices and looked over at the door.

"She's awake," this came from Mad-eye Moody, who hobbled over to her bedside, joined by her Auror partner Kingsley Shacklebolt and Remus Lupin. Tonks tried to sit up and failed, pain shooting right through her body. She attempted again, slower this time and managed it, though it took her a while. She was out of breath from sitting up and this made her feel even lousier.

"Hi guys," she croaked. Swallowing, she said, " Come to see the pretty brunette on this ward?" she teased. Moody smiled slightly at this.

"She must have left," he replied, his voice light but his face sullen. They reached her bedside. Kingsley went for her hand.

"How are you, Tonks?" he asked. She didn't need to consider this question.

"I feel like I've been hit by the Knight Bus," she told them. Seeing them brought memories back. A large rectangular room, a dais, a veil, stone steps, what was it about the steps? Had she fallen? She wouldn't have put it past herself, being as clumsy as she was. And she remembered …

"Harry!"

"He's alright." Kingsley reassured her. "He's looking a lot better than you."

Tonks settled back down. _And Sirius must be with him of course_, she thought. Then she looked at Remus who hadn't spoken since he had arrived. He avoided her eyes, sending a jolt of worry into the pit of her stomach. She swallowed before asking,

"Where's Sirius?" Silence. "Where is he?" she asked again, her voice cracking, showing her fear. She raised a hand to her natural face, pinching the bridge of her nose to shade her eyes. "He's dead isn't he," she said quietly. It wasn't a question. She didn't look up, didn't see Lupin's slow nod, but she knew that it was true. She let out a sob that ached her bruised ribcage. Tears began to roll heavily down her cheeks. She squeaked, not being able to breathe. Rocking slightly, she took short gasping breaths. Moody laid a gnarled hand on her shoulder.

"Shh, take it easy. Nice deep breaths ok?" She didn't hear him. Her mind had switched off completely. She felt like being sick, and was, over the other side of the bed. Tonks shuddered, clutching the hospital blanket to her so tightly that her knuckles turned white. Her sobbing continued, and the men just stood there, staring. It bothered her but she didn't want them to leave. She wondered what Harry must have been feeling, and cried out. Kingsley shut the curtains around her bed, she was grateful for this. Another thought struck her. She began an attempt to scramble out of bed, but Kingsley held her back.

"My mother, I need to see her."

"Tonks you aren't going anywhere."

"You don't understand, Kingsley," she wheezed, still struggling, "This will kill her!" Tonks fell back onto the bed and curled up into a foetal position. She sobbed quietly this time, sniffing for breath every now and then.

"Are you ok?" Moody asked. What a stupid question! She wanted to hit out at him, scream at him, but it hurt to breathe as it was. She shook her head instead. He went to stroke her hair but she batted his hand away.

"I'll speak to you're mother, Tonks," he said quietly and turned to leave. Kingsley followed. Remus remained, staring at her as if she was the one who was dead. She wished she was. Her eyes met his.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. He moved forward and held her so tightly she thought she was going to break. It hurt so much but she didn't care. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she cried into his shoulder.

"Shh," he whispered, sobbing into her hair, her dark brown hair. So much like Sirius'.

Tonks left St Mungo's two days later, a day before the Order planned to meet Harry and friends off the Hogwarts Express. She didn't want to go, dreaded it in fact, but a decision had been made that the Order would show a united front. On a good side, it would give Tonks a chance to let of some steam when she saw the Dursley's. The day she had left hospital she was taken straight to Number 12 Grimmauld Place. It killed her going back, but she was glad she had, in a way. If she had put it off she might never have gone back. Molly Weasley had placed her in the comfy chair by the fire in the kitchen. She was handed a blanket and a strong cup of tea, then she was left alone. If there were other members of the Order in the kitchen, they didn't speak to her. What would they say? She wished Remus were there. She hadn't seen him since she'd woken in St Mungo's. He wouldn't speak to her either, but she wanted him there anyway, for comfort. Like a blanket, like a …dog. She swallowed hard and attempted to sleep.

The next day, the group gathered together near Platform 9 ¾. The Dursleys were there too, looking afraid but vulgar. Harry appeared through the wall, looking lost and then suddenly surprised to see them all there. _God, he looks ill,_ Remus thought to himself. He wished he could do something to make the boy feel better, but he didn't know what to do. He attempted a smile at Harry, and knew it wasn't working so he dropped the act. He watched Harry hug Tonks, like he had done days before. Her hair was trademark pink. She had morphed moments before Harry had appeared, nearly passing out in the process. Tonks had been told to lay off the morphing for at least two weeks. She brushed off the concerned voices, saying that Harry would suspect something was wrong otherwise, and that she would change back once he had gone. The group wandered over to the Dursleys who looked bewildered and nervous to see such …interesting people stride over to them. Having given them their warning, it was time to say goodbye to Harry. No doubt he would seeing them all again in the next few weeks, but nevertheless, they wanted him to know that they were there for him.

"Take care, Harry. Keep in touch." Lupin wanted to say so much more, but he didn't trust himself not to break down in the middle of King's Cross Station. He gave another attempt at a weak smile, and Harry passed to Tonks.

"See you soon, eh?" she muttered to him, not really knowing what else she could say. She pulled him into another hug and whispered something in his ear. They exchanged quick smiles. And then he was gone, swept away by his impatient Uncle Vernon. They all watched him until he could no longer be picked out from the crowd. Tonks turned away and sighed, letting herself morph back to her original state, as she had promised. She didn't care if any Muggles had seen; she just wanted to go home. She glanced at Lupin, who continued to look at the floor, as if the very meaning of life had been graphitised onto the tiled platform. He opened his mouth to speak, then shook his head and walked off. He stopped as he reached Moody, said a few quiet words, which made Moody glance over at Tonks, and then walked away. Tonks frowned as she watched him leave. She couldn't help but feel that she might never see him again. She hadn't been aware that Moody was approaching her until he spoke, breaking her gaze away from Lupin.

"He says he's sorry but he has to go."

A/N: You like? Review : ) You don't? Review : ) (constructive criticism of course, don't make me cry!)


	2. Not the best of days

2 weeks later –

It was hot, extremely hot in fact. Tonks mumbled to herself as she wandered down the dusty, dry path of Grimmauld Place and waited for Number 12 to come into view. It had been a rough day at work, her first day back since she had left hospital. It still pained her to morph, so she went in looking rough, and she was coming back looking even worse. She trundled up the steps, entered the manor and headed for the kitchen where she hoped to find a glass of cold water to drink or drown in. Either sounded good. She was still talking to herself as she descended the steps into the cool basement kitchen. A voice interrupted her conversation and made her aware of others in the room.

"Er, Tonks?" It was Ron Weasley. "Are you ok?" She closed her eyes.

"Talk to you later," she said quietly to herself, reminding Ron at that moment of Luna Lovegood. She glanced around at the people in front of her; Ron, his mother Molly, his brother Bill, another ginger person who she didn't know, _how many Weasley's are there?!_, and two women who looked at the dishevelled Tonks in bemusement.

"Oh, wotcher Ron," she smiled at him, dazed. He frowned and looked at his mother.

"Hello Tonks, dear. Been at work?" Molly asked. Tonks nodded and sat down wearily.

"What are you guys doing here?" she asked, not that she wasn't happy to see them.

"I passed my Apparation test yesterday so I thought I'd come say hi," Ron beamed. _Oh, that's right_, Tonks thought. She had been told, she had just forgotten. Hermione Granger was planning on taking hers too. Apparently, Harry had been forced to miss his by his Muggle uncle. Tonks made a mental note to invite Harry to stay during the autumn break and take the test.

"Congratulations Ron, never had a doubt in my mind," she replied eventually. She looked up at the strangers in the room and, due to her lack of sleep and sanity, forgot all manners.

"Who are you?"

"Oh, yes. Tonks this is my son Charlie. Bill's girlfriend Fleur and this is Lady … what was it dear?"

"Thompson," the woman finished for Molly. She offered Tonks her hand. Tonks thought that she would probably pity a woman with a name like Lady, were her own name not Nymphadora.

"Charlie tames dragons in Romania," Ron added randomly with a mouth full of cake. Tonks raised her eyebrows in interest.

"Really? That must be a pretty dangerous job." He nodded and smiled politely but said nothing. _They must think I'm cuckoo_, Tonks thought. She wished she didn't look so bad, especially as Charlie was rather good looking. To make matters worse, she guessed that this Fleur girl was a Veela, or had Veela-ish tendencies, meaning that she would look stunning even if someone pushed her off a 50 ft bridge into a lake of sewage. Tonks cringed at the thought.

"Lady's a werewolf," Ron supplied again, still with his mouth full. Molly turned to him and glared.

"Ronald, don't talk with your mouth full!" she snapped. Tonks looked at Lady. She didn't look like a werewolf, but she was hardly going to question it. She wondered what she was doing in Head Quarters. Realising she was staring she turned away, reaching for the kettle.

"I'll do that dear, you sit down," Molly piped. Tonks glanced at Lady who was still looking at her.

"Does it bother you?" she asked, her voice not accusing but questioning. Tonks shook her head and looked at her apologetically.

"No, no, of course not." She felt uncomfortable, as if she was the stranger.

"We have a friend who's a werewolf," Ron explained, and Tonks was thankful that he did. She didn't want to feel as if she was making excuses for her behaviour. "Don't we Tonks. Yeah, Lupin. He's nice. He's not himself at the moment though." Ron added glumly. His mother sighed at him as she handed Tonks her tea.

"I've had about enough of you commenting about other people's business, Ronald. Keep quiet or go home," his mother said firmly. Ron said nothing, and helped himself to another cake.

"How's work then Tonks?" Bill asked, "Have they missed you?" Tonks shrugged and scrunched her face up.

"You know, work's work. Fudge is Fudge. Oh yeah, before I forget, I got fired today," she said casually.

"What?!" Molly and Bill exclaim collectively.

"Bloody hell," came Ron's reply and a sharp slap around the back of his head from his mother. Tonks sighed. Better now than never. At least the Weasley's could then tell others so she wouldn't have to talk about it too much.

"When I entered the office today I was sent straight to the Director of Auror, git. Anyway, it turns out they've been carrying out an inquiry as to why I've known where Sirius Black has been forover 2 years and have failed to mention it to anyone. Apparently it has cost them a lot of money to search for him since his escape, and I have abused my position as an Auror. Good ol' Kingsley on the other hand has been given a pay rise for his dedication to the search for Sirius over the past 3 years. They didn't suspect a thing. Of course he found that highly amusing and couldn't see why I didn't."

It was funny in a way, she supposed. Sirius would have found it funny too.

"So, I'm without a job and facing a possible court hearing," Molly gasped. "Yeah it's a serious offence harbouring a fugitive. And to top it off, I look like something that a disgusting creature has regurgitated, swallowed and coughed back up again." She groaned and hit her head on the table. "So, how've you guys been?" No one dared speak for some time.

"I passed my Apperation test,"

"Ronald," Molly warned.

"You look fine Tonks, don't worry about it," Bill said with an edge of sympathy in his voice. She knew he was lying. She drained her tea and got up.

"Thanks for trying to cheer me up guys, I might go visit Lupin now. Catch you later." She apparated, leaving silence in the kitchen.

"Sorry bout her, her cousin's just died."

"Ronald!"


	3. Meeting the Marauders

A/N: Thanks for the review MrsAliciaWeasley. I'm not sure if this is going to be a Charlie/Tonks fic, I'm still thinking about it, I'll see what happens. Hope you're enjoying it so far : )

_Sirius Black had left the Great Hall in a hurry. It had been hot in there, the summer air muggy and still. He took a deep breath to relieve himself of his nerves, before regaining his couldn't-care-less composure. Leaning against the nearest stone statue, he began to hum absently to himself, waiting for his fellow Marauders to complete their Defence Against the Dark Arts practical exam, and join him in the foyer. In accordance with the alphabetic system, Remus Lupin was first to join Black. He had a grin on his face._

_"Hey, Moony," Sirius called, "How'd it go?" His friend shook his head._

_"Terrible! But it's done now. You?"_

_"I'm guessing I scraped a pass. Not really bothered though," he added coolly. The Marauders had adopted a relaxed and distanced approach to their OWL exams, though they all secretly knew they wanted to do well._

_"You still up for going into Hogsmeade later?" Lupin asked._

_"Yeah, I've gotta meet my cousin Andie, it's her birthday so I promised I would. You guys don't have to come if you don't want to. I won't be long." _

_"It will be good to get out of the castle to be honest," Remus admitted, and Sirius had to agree. The teachers were driving them crazy; they were more stressed about the current exams than their pupils were._

_"Hey, there's Wormtail." Sirius pointed over to the door at the short, chubby boy who began to scuttle towards his two friends. Remus began to ask him how it went but Peter Pettigrew just cringed, and they said no more. _

_"Prongs is just taking his now, he looked very sure of himself," said Wormtail glumly. Sirius rolled him eyes at the thought of his friend James Potter._

_"Cocky git," he muttered. Sure enough, James Potter left the Great Hall and strode over to his three best friends, a massive grin covering his face and a twinkle in his eye._

_"Piece of cake, what do you reckon lads?" The others glanced at him grimly, muttering under their breaths causing James to laugh.__"Come on, let's get outta here."_

_The four friends changed out of their school robes and headed for the village of Hogsmeade. James was talking about the exam. The other three pretended not to listen. Finally, Sirius spoke up._

_"We get it Prongs! You did great, as usual. But let me tell you now, if you've failed we three are gonna laugh so hard you won't believe." James shrunk back slightly, and kept quiet from then on. The sun shone brightly, the stone buildings of Hogsmeade reflecting the light so much that it was dazzling. They stopped outside The Three Broomsticks. Sirius turned to them._

_"Right, we'll have a drink with my cousin, 10 minutes max, and be out of here ok? I promise, this won't take long." The other three nodded, not really caring. __The Three Broomsticks was relatively quiet. Sirius picked out his cousin quickly. _

_"Andie," he called to a tall, elegant woman with dark hair tied back in a low ponytail. She was pale but beautiful, with the same dark eyes and bone structure of Sirius himself. She smiled as the four boys reached her. __"Hi, Andie. Happy birthday." He hugged his cousin and kissed her on the cheek. "I would have got you something but …you know."_

_"You're a tight git," she finished for him with a smile. "Nice to see you Riu." Sirius looked embarrassed that his nickname had been used in front of his friends._

_"Um, Andie this is James, Peter and Remus. Guys this is my cousin Andromeda." After the fumbling introduction, the four boys and woman sat down around a table. Peter had been sent off to fetch the drinks and he quickly obeyed. Sirius was just about to tell his cousin that he couldn't stay long, when she beat him to it._

_"I can't stay long Riu, I'm meeting Ted in London. His parents are coming over and we need to get some food in." She rolled her eyes and he laughed. "It's my birthday and I'm waiting on the in-laws, typical eh." She hesitated. "Sirius, you know how you haven't bought me a present, well maybe you could do me a favour instead." He froze, knowing what was coming. "Would you watch Nymphadora for me. Only for a couple of hours, I promise." He turned to his friends, who looked uncomfortable enough as it was. He knew they wanted to leave. But this was Andie, and she had done so much for him. He caved in._

_"Sure, I'll do it, as long as it is only two hours." Andromeda nodded her head. _

_"Great! Thanks Riu, I owe you one." She looked around the pub. "I don't know where Dora's got to. You'll have to keep an eye on her, she's going through a bit of a stage." She stood to go. "I'll see you later, thanks again." She kissed Sirius on the cheek. "Nice to meet you, boys," she added to the horror-stricken Marauders as she made her way out of the pub. _

_"Great, two hours stuck watching a little brat," James mumbled. Sirius felt guilty._

_"She's not a brat, she's cool. Anyway, if you guys get bored just leave and I'll meet up with you later. I'm sure I can handle an 7 year old girl by myself." His friends sniggered in response. They left the pub in search of the girl. They found her outside Honeydukes. She wore a dirty pair of frayed jeans and a baggy t-shirt. Her hair was dark and put up messily in a bun at the back of her head._

_"T-Bird!" Sirius called, prompting the girl to turn around and squeal. She ran up to him and squeezed him tightly. He ruffled her hair. _

_"There you are. Mum said you might be watching me. I knew she hadn't asked you yet and I thought you'd say no but here you are! Are these your friends?" she added. Sirius blinked in confusion at the speed in which the young girl had spoken. _

_"Yes, this is –"_

_"No, no, let me guess!" she insisted. She looked at the three bemused-looking 5th Years. Dora wiggled a loose tooth with her tongue.__"Your Peter aren't you." Wormtail nodded nervously. The girl grinned up at him then moved to Remus and James. Remus looked down at her with a mild look of curiosity, James simply looked bored. __"This is where it gets tough. Um… nah I don't know. You'll have to tell me." _

_"That's Remus and that's James," Sirius told her._

_"Ooh, you're the werewolf, aren't you!" Dora exclaimed to Remus, who looked taken aback." That's cool. I'm weird too. We're not allowed to talk about that though," she added. Sirius looked embarrassed and elbowed her._

_"Shut up, Dora! Sorry Rem."_

_"That's ok," he mumbled._

_James, who had got distracted by a group of girls walking passed, announced he was leaving and ran to catch up with the girls._

_"Lily Evans." Sirius said, rolling his eyes._

_"Who's that? His girlfriend?" Dora asked. Sirius shook his head. "Didn't think so, she's too pretty for him anyway." Nymphadora decided. Sirius really wished she would stop talking._

_"Listen Padfoot, I'm going to take off," Wormtail said nervously. "Good luck," he added before leaving Sirius and Remus with the young girl who was looking in the sweet shop window again. Noticing he had gone, she gave a sigh of relief._

_"Glad he's gone, I don't like him, he's got shifty eyes. You wanna be careful. There's a boy in my class at school, Craig, he has shifty eyes too. He stole my book."_

_"Fascinating," Sirius said sarcastically. Thinking of a way to shut her up he said, "Fancy some chocolate?" The girl shook her head._

_"No thank you, I'm into fruit at the moment." This caused the two boys to stare in disbelief. She laughed at them. "Honestly Riu! You should have seen the look on your face!" He bought her some chocolate and the three of them walked up the street together, the young girl in the middle, looking from one to the other as the two friends spoke. When it was quiet, she took Sirius' hand._

_"Can I change my hair?" He nodded to her. "You won't tell Mum will you?" _

_"Course not T-Bird, I thought you trusted me," he said in a mock-hurt tone. _

_"I do, I do. Ok …" she said letting her hair down from its bun and scrunching her face up in pain. Her hair changed from dark brown to red, and shrunk to her jaw-line in a straight bob. Remus stared and looked at Sirius for an explanation. He gave a bark of a laugh. _

_"Nymphadora's a Metapmorphmagus."_

_"Or 'Freak' as Aunt Sissy calls me," added Dora. "Aunt Sissy's a bitch!" Though shocked by the young girl's language, Sirius had to agree that his cousin Narcissa was a bitch, though a lot nicer than Andromeda's other sister, Bellatrix._

_"So…how's your cat … um…"_

_"Snuffles," Dora provided. "He's good, cept I trapped his tail in the door the other day. It hurt him, I think, but he's ok. He jumped, it was really funny." Sirius frowned at the girl's humour._

_"You're just cruel, you are Dora. Trapping his tail in the door. Calling him Snuffles …"_

_"Snuffles is a great name, thank you very much! The fact that he can have a name like that and still hold his head up high is very admirable. He's brave, and strong even though his name doesn't show it," Dora said firmly. _

_"And you like your name too, Nymphadora?" Sirius teased and Remus laughed._

_"No," she replied in a small voice, "That's completely different and you know it."_

A knock at Lupin's door snapped him back to the here and now. He rose slowly from him chair. Opening the door, he smiled slightly.

"I was just thinking about you …Nymphadora."


	4. I missed you

A/N: The poem is not mine. I borrowed it from Robert Frost's 'The Witch of Coos'. (As Lupin rightly guesses. He can have a gold star, 5 house points and my undying love.) Please review:)

"Can I come in?" she asked. Her hair was damp from the heavy rain that had only recently begun to fall. It fell around her tired face like rat's tails. Remus Lupin said nothing but held the door open for her. She walked past him without looking at him and entered the small flat. She had only ever been once before, with Sirius, in the spring of the same year. Looking around her now, she was amazed how nothing had change at all. She glanced over at the large, packed bookshelf and guessed that the old, yellowing books were in the exact order as the last time she visited. The thought drew a small smile to Tonks' lips. The apartment was immaculate and simple. The walls were painted cream and were bare. The curtains that hung by the two small windows were a very dark shade of red, almost brown. Tonks noticed the wooden floorboards were faded and distressed, and creaked underfoot as she made her way into the centre of the room. She turned to him as she heard him click the door to. They stood staring at each other for sometime, until Tonks made the first move.

"Hi."

"Hi," he replied quietly. She moved to hug him and he returned the embrace stiffly, feeling rather uncomfortable about the situation and wishing her hair wasn't so damp in his face. As they pulled away from each other he took a piece of her bedraggled, unmorphed hair between his fingers. It was dark, even more so because of the rain, and curled slightly by her neck. _Just like Sirius' had done_, Remus thought to himself. Noticing that she was looking at him, he let go of her hair and attempted a smile.

"That's a good look for you," he commented lightly and she thumped his arm.

"Merlin, I've missed you!" she exclaimed pulling him into another hug.

"I was only gone a few weeks," he muttered. She looked at him with a mixture of discomfort and embarrassment.

"It hurt that you didn't say goodbye," she admitted to the floor.

"How are you feeling?" he asked before she could ask him. She gave a wry smile.

"How do I look?" she asked in reply, knowing that he would understand.

"Can I get you a drink?"

"Yeah, tea would be good." He left for the kitchen and Tonks found herself wondering over to the bookshelf. She took a book at random and began to flick through it. She noticed it was coverless and tried to pick out what it was from the text, but failed. She didn't hear Remus enter. He put two steaming mugs down with a thud that made her head turn sharply.

"What have you got there?" he asked her quietly. She shrugged in response.

"I don't know, it doesn't say."

"Give me a line or two." Her eyes scanned the page. She cleared her throat.

"'Folks think a witch who has familiar spirits she could call up to pass a winter evening. But she won't, should be burned at the stake or something.'" She finished, grimacing, and looked up from the book.

"Robert Frost," he said matter-of-factly to the floor. "_The Witch of Coos_, if I'm not mistaken."

"You're amazing, do you know that?" His eyes flickered, nervously at the comment.

"I wouldn't say that, but thank you." Silence fell again. "Well, sit down won't you," he said after a while, indicating to the mismatched armchair and sofa. Tonks chose the armchair. It was softer than she had expected and she stumbled as she sat. She hoped he hadn't noticed. He sat down on the sofa and they sipped their tea in silence.

"So, how did you know I was back?"

"Kingsley mentioned something earlier. Said you'd been speaking to Dumbledore about something. I dunno, I wasn't really listening," she admitted. Looking around, she noticed a small photo frame on the table beside her. In the frame was a photo of Remus, Harry and Sirius. It had been taken last Christmas, Tonks remembered. She realised Remus was speaking and tore her eyes away from it to look at him.

"Yes, Dumbledore wanted to speak to me about a new member of the Order. She's a werewolf and works up in Scotland with a group of us there," he said. Tonks thought it was strange that he referred to werewolves he had never met as 'us' but she didn't comment. Remus continued. "She told Dumbledore that a large number of the group want to support the Order. You've met her," he commented and Tonks frowned. "I can smell her on you. What's she like?" Tonks shrugged and wrinkled her nose.

"I dunno, she seems ok … well, to tell you the truth she was a bit weird really. She kept staring at me like I was gonna shoot her down or something." She smiled slightly. "Maybe she's just wary of Auror, we aren't the most liberal of people after all."

"I think you are one of the most liberal people I know, Nymphadora," He waited for her to complain about the use of her name but it never came. She sighed sadly.

"Yeah, well I'm not an Auror any more so I guess I can be as liberal as I want." Remus looked at her, confused. "I was fired today. And now I don't know what to do. It's all I've ever wanted to do, it's the only thing I'm good at and I've failed at it miserably!"

"That's not true, Tonks and you know it. There's bound to be something for you to do. I'm afraid the position of jobless lay-about has been filled anyway," he said lightly but a hint of bitterness was present in his tone. She sipped her tea before she next spoke.

"Well there is something…" she lowered her mug.

"Go on."

"You see … Dumbledore came to see me the other day and –"

"He offered you the Defence Against the Dark Arts post," Lupin finished for her. She looked at him in surprise and nodded.

"Did he tell you?"

"Yes, he did. He thinks you'd be great at it," he looked at her, "And I think he's right." Tonks sighed. She had thought about it but she wasn't sure that she would be any good at it. Tonks had hated school; hated Hogwarts. She was so relived when she had finally left, she would never have guessed that she would consider going back to work there. And to take the job now, having just been fired, may be an act of desperation rather than an actual wanting of the job. She shook her head.

"I dunno," she groaned. "I told Dumbledore I'd give him an answer at the meeting tonight." This prompted her to look at her watch. "Which I should be heading to. Are you coming?" she added. She saw Remus hesitate. He didn't want to be back there, to that house with all those memories, be around people who would give him _that_ look as if he were made of glass and was going to smash into a thousand pieces at any second. He shook his head and Tonks' face fell.

"Was stupid of me to ask really, sorry. Should have known you wouldn't want company. I'll go." She rose clumsily from the sunken chair. He, too, rose quickly. As she headed past him he placed a hand on her arm.

"Wait. I'm sorry, Tonks, I didn't mean to be dismissive. It's been … well a difficult time for me; you know that. That doesn't mean that I'm not pleased to see you. I've missed you Nymphadora," he admitted and this caused her to lower her head to hide the pink in her cheeks. Remus meant a lot to her, more than he knew. She couldn't help but feel heartened by the fact that he had missed her. She looked up at him and smiled.

"Glad to hear it," she said. "Would be even happier if you decided to come to the meeting," she added coyly. "Would mean Molly has someone else to fuss over instead of me. You know you want to." He gave a shadow of a smile.

"Fine," he resigned and she gave him a grin.

"Great. Let's get going."

Remus reluctantly took his first steps into the dark hallway of Grimmauld Place. This was partly because of his dread for being back in the depressing manor house, and partly because he did not want to risk waking the portrait of Mrs Black. He knew he would not be able to cope with her vulgar and spiteful abuse, now more than ever. It was because of this that he placed his hand on the small of Tonks' back, steering her away from the troll-leg umbrella stand she was renowned for knocking over. As the pair entered the basement kitchen, the hubbub caused by many of the assembled Order members died down. Remus immediately wanted to turn around to leave. Tonks took his arm before he had the chance.

"Wait for it," she muttered a warning. Sure enough, Molly Weasley was the first member to greet them as they reached the bottom of the stairs. She hurried them over to a seat and placed a cup of tea in front of them both, regardless of whether they wanted one or not.

"Nice to have you back, Remus," she began. "How are you feeling? Have you been eating ok? Sleeping? You look a bit peaky, dear." This caused Tonks to sigh.

"Molly, you think we all look peaky," she stated bluntly, taking Molly aback.

"Well I see you're still in a foul mood, Nymphadora Tonks. And let me tell you, I wasn't so pleased to find your medication shoved in the back of one of the drawers over there. You're supposed to carry it with you at all times," she said shrilly. Tonks felt Remus' eyes on her but refused to glance his way. "You are still taking your tablets aren't you?" she inquired.

"Yes," Tonks lied to the table, wishing Molly would go away.

"Liar," Bill Weasley said not so quietly, as he passed. All three heads turned to him and he coughed without discretion, smirking behind his hand as he went. Tonks glared at him. She heard Molly huff loudly and walk off. Tonks bravely turned to meet her friend's questioning look.

"I've not been well," she admitted, but said no more. The Order were still waiting for members to arrive, including Dumbledore himself. Mad-Eye Moody and Kingsley Shacklebolt arrived together and headed straight for Tonks. She groaned. They gave nods of acknowledgment to Lupin, but did not ask how he was, which Lupin was very grateful for. Tonks turned away from Kingsley as he took the seat next to her. She pouted stubbornly and looked at the ceiling.

"You ok, Tonks?" Kingsley asked in his cool, deep voice, though there was a hint of amusement evident. Tonks didn't reply. "No hard feelings, then," he provoked.

"Piss off, Kingsley," she muttered.

"Now then, my girl! That's no way for a lady to speak," Moody said, his lip curling slightly in a smile. "Kingsley and I have been spending most of the day saving your neck from a court hearing. Azkaban is no place for a lady like you." This caused Kingsley to give a rumbling chuckle and Remus to look sharply at her. She never told him about a hearing. He failed to see how something like that had slipped her mind.

"Oh come on, Tonks. It was either you or me. The best man won. I'll make it up to you. I'll buy you a drink. Or a car," he added smugly, rubbing salt into the wound. Tonks growled, stood up and stormed off with the sound of Mad-Eye's barking laugh in her ears. She made her way over to Bill and Charlie Weasley, and their Veela friend Fleur. She gave Bill an overdue slap around the back of the head. He laughed, and she noticed Fleur give her a warning look. To shake her off, Tonks decided to start a conversation with Charlie, who she assumed (and hoped) was single.

"Hi, sorry bout earlier. Have the feeling I didn't make quite the first impression I would have hoped for. Can we start again?" He gave her a grin.

"Sure. I'm Charlie."

"Tonks."

"That's an unusual name. Is it a nickname or your real name?" he asked her.

"My surname actually. Wouldn't want to embarrass myself by telling you my first name though," she said firmly. He gave her a quizzical glance.

"Nymphadora," Bill coughed and she glared at him.

"Will you stop doing that!" she said through gritted teeth. Bill laughed again; reminding Tonks how much Bill was like his younger brother of Ron.

"How's Remus?" Bill asked, his humour gone and an edge of concern in his voice. Tonks glanced over at her friend, who was now in conversation with the werewolf, Lady Thompson. He seemed happier than he had been earlier but she knew it was all an act. When she had first seen him as he opened the door to her, it almost broke her heart. Standing in front of her had been the hollow shell of a man who was once so warm. It frightened her that she would never see that man again. Realising she hadn't answered Bill's question, she turned back to him.

"I don't know. He seems ok, but I don't think he is. He's shut himself in. Guess we'll just have to wait until he's ready to talk," she told him. At that moment, Dumbledore entered, flanked by Professors McGonagall and Snape. Those who weren't seated made their way to the table. Tonks took up her seat next to Lupin, who had Lady sat on his other side. She looked Tonks up and down then turned away. Tonks would have been bothered about it, had she not then noticed that Charlie Weasley had taken the seat opposite her own. Suddenly she didn't seem to care so much about Lady.

"Good evening, everyone." Dumbledore's voice hushed everyone present. "Firstly, I would like to welcome two new members to the Order. This is Fleur Delacour and Lady Thompson." He gave Lady a civil smile, and she nodded. It was if they were recalling a previous conversation, without the use of any words. Next to Tonks, Remus began to fidget in his chair. This was very unlike him.

"Are you ok?" Tonks whispered. He nodded slightly, without taking his eyes off Dumbledore.

"Now that's over and done with, I should perhaps tell you why I have gathered you all here. Those of you who remember the situation this time last year may recall me creating what was known as the Advance Guard, and the reason behind such an action. Well, I would very much like to reinstate Advance Guard, however recent events," Remus flinched in his seat again, "have forced me to reconsider this plan. Subsequently, I am looking for two volunteers … to fetch Harry Potter and bring him safely to Head Quarters." All eyes were fixed on Dumbledore. Lupin cowered back slightly, hoping that he would not be chosen. "Well?" Dumbledore asked hopefully. Hands were raised immediately. Few, however, remained down including Lupin, to no-one's surprise Snape, and Tonks though she didn't know why.

"Remus," Dumbledore's voice rang against the walls of stone. Remus hoped he hadn't cringed. He didn't see why he would have; he had guessed that Dumbledore would pick him; sensible, responsible Lupin, and probably the only link Harry now had with his deceased parents. Remus nodded slightly.

"And Dora," his grey eyes, shifted to Lupin's left. "I would appreciate it if you went along too." Tonks also nodded, cursing inside and wishing she had put her hand up with the others.

Later that evening, Remus found himself sat alone in the kitchen of Grimmauld Place. The final few Order members had only just finished leaving, Molly being the last; half tempted to stay and watch over Remus in case he should keel over without anyone being there. He, with the help of Arthur, convinced Molly to go home and Remus was left alone. Or so he had thought.

"Oh good, you're still here." A voice made him look up. A weary Tonks descended the stairs and joined him at the table. He frowned at her. "Just been talking to Dumbledore," she told him, by way of explanation. "Get this, he wants us to set off tonight at 11, to be in Little Whinging by 6am!" Remus blinked at her.

"Why would it take 7 hours for us to get to Little Whinging?"

"Because … ok don't freak out … but we are going by car." She froze waiting for a reaction.

"Ok." That was all she got. Remus laced his fingers together and stared at them intently. Tonks sat there for what felt like a good 15 minutes but was more realistically only 5 before she began to speak again.

"Remus –"

"Please don't." Tonks didn't push him. She simply nodded and went say 'ok' but no sound came out so she simply mouthed it. After another long moment of silence, she stood and looked down at him.

"I'm off upstairs. I'll come down later and we'll get my car ok?" He didn't respond. She went to put a hand on his shoulder but thought better of it. He watched her leave at a pace, and then went back to staring at his hands. When Tonks returned an hour later to find that Remus hadn't moved at all she knew that, not only had she lost her cousin, she was also losing a friend.

A/N: Please review, it would make my day :)


	5. The road is long

A/N: Have borrowed Evanescence's My Immortal. Tis a fab song, makes me cry loads but I love it. Anyhoo, must get on …

"_This is so ironic, you know." Sirius said with a grin. It was late March and he was sat in the kitchen of Grimmauld Place opposite his cousin Nymphadora who, in all irony, was trying to build a house out of Exploding Snap cards. He had to admit she was doing reasonably well. The tongue she had protruded in concentration extended and moved in the direction of her cousin, though she did not dare take her eyes off her task. Sirius helped himself to the pile of cards between them and began his own tower. Remus Lupin looked up from the papers he was engrossed in over the other side of the kitchen._

_"Nice to see you two finally doing something constructive," he commented dryly then ducked as Sirius sent an Exploding card in his direction. He chuckled and went back to his reading._

_"Remember when we used to do this when we were younger?" Tonks asked after a while. She saw Sirius nod out of the corner of her magenta eyes._

_"Oh yes, how could I forget? Kept you amused for hours. Remember when I tried to teach you to play chess? You got all stressed because you didn't understand and threw the pieces at me." He laughed at the memory. "I was around your house a lot that summer."_

_"Best summer ever, having you there, Riu." Tonks admitted. "Was the summer before …" she trailed off. Remus looked up again. Sirius gave a nervous laugh._

_"Azkaban, you can say it T-Bird." The kitchen went silent for a while after that, save for the odd card exploding with a snap._

_"I missed you," Tonks said quietly to the table. Sirius' hand paused over his tower and he lowered it slowly. Taking his cousin's hand, he squeezed it affectionately saying,_

_"And I missed you too, T."_

_"It makes me think a lot," ("Careful!") "about if I never see you again." Sirius began to interrupt but she continued. "It's happened before, it could happen again Riu, we both know that." Their eyes met, and he nodded reluctantly. Remus cleared his throat loudly, reminding them of how quietly they had been talking._

_"If…if your caught, or if … if you die Riu –"_

_"Tonks!"_

_"I'm serious, Sirius. If you die … what do you want to happen?" He looked at her, considering her question. _

_"Moony for Minister!" he announced. Tonks slapped his hand causing her card tower to wobble threateningly._

_"Tell me, please." _

_"Ok, ok. Burn the house. Now I'm the one being serious," he added as she sighed loudly. "I've put the house in Andie's name on my will but your mum's already made it clear that she doesn't want it. Harry's too young to inherit. I want the order to have it still, until Harry's old enough, and then he can do with it what he wants. For now, your mum suggested I put the house in your name, hope that's ok," he said casually. She frowned at him, and then nodded dismissively. _

_"Anything else?"_

_"Tonks, I don't want to talk about it, ok?"_

_"Well don't blame me when you're looking up, wishing things were different."_

_He scowled at her, sighing in resignation._

_"Fine, well the most important thing is Harry, you know that. If anything good comes out of this conversation, it'll be your promise that you will look after Harry for me. Promise me that, Dora." He seemed almost desperate. She nodded quickly._

_"Of course, of course. You have my word. Black's honour." They both laughed at her comment. Sirius glanced over at his friend. _

_"Look after Moony too, he can be a miserable git at times but he means so much to me." Sirius fell silent and Tonks knew that he was thinking of his Marauding years, so far behind him. He broke out of his daydream to find Tonks staring at him, with her morphed eyes, her hair in a navy blue plait down her back. She was still beautiful to him, whatever she looked like. "And look after yourself T-bird. You're a damn good Auror, I know you'll get through this war, and I'll be with you. That I promise you, ok? No more 'what-ifs'. Just take everything as it comes. Life is like a house of cards really." Tonks rolled her eyes. "Sure, the building of it is important, you may think it's so stable that it will never come down. But life's not like that Dora, and it's the rebuilding of a life that shows real courage. Picking up the pieces and trying again as best you can. That's what it's all about." He looked up expecting to see her sceptic face, and to be told to stop talking rubbish. Instead, she looked sad and afraid. He attempted to reassure her with a smile. "Wow, I even moved myself then. Listen, I'm not going anywhere, literally. You're stuck with me." He grinned at her and she returned it. As she continued her activity she heard Sirius whispering under his breath._

_"Burn the house! Burn the house! Burn the …"_

_"Sirius! I'm not going to burn the house!" she giggled._

_"Fine!" he exclaimed sulkily, and he let out a deliberate breath, which knocked down the house of cards with a bang. She squealed and thumped his arm. Sirius laughed loudly, even Remus joined in._

_"Git," she muttered, and began to start again._

Tonks woke with a start. Had she been daydreaming? One look out of the window told her it was nighttime and she guessed that she most probably had fallen asleep. The grogginess she felt made up her mind on this. Tonks couldn't decided what she hated most about sleep; the nightmares of that dreaded Department of Mysteries, or the memories of her murdered cousin that flitted in and out of her dreams uncontrollably. She didn't want to remember the good times, or the bad times at that. She just wanted to forget. Feeling stiff she tried to wriggle around in the confined space of her driver's seat. She glanced over at Remus who was watching her with a mixture of concern and mild amusement. She groaned and rubbed her eyes with one hand.

"Wish you had woken me," she muttered with a hint of embarrassment.

"Don't be silly, you look shattered."

"What time is it?" Remus barely made out through her yawn.

"Late. Or early, depending on which way you look at it." The pair were parked on Magnolia Crescent, Little Whinging in Tonks' silver Fiat Punta. Remus had expected something a little more 'old banger' when imagining Tonks' car. He had been sceptical about travelling in any vehicle Nymphadora Tonks may happen to own; especially one she would be in control of. He was more than relieved to find all doors firmly attached and seatbelts in the car. Though it was the middle of summer, the evening was cool. Tonks put on her jacket clumsily, hitting Remus in the face and catching the horn with her elbow. She smiled at him apologetically as he rubbed his nose. They sat in silence for a long while, as they had on their journey to Little Whinging. Both knew that empty words for conversation's sake were just pointless. Neither had wanted to speak of how they were feeling, and neither had asked, until now.

"Are you ok?" Remus turned to her. She looked surprised that he had asked and attempted a smile, which he saw through straight away. "Why are you still on your medication?" Tonks cringed internally, wishing Molly had kept her mouth shut.

"I'm not. Well, I am but I'll be off it soon. Just took a little longer to heal than they thought I would that's all," she said stiffly. "Still hurts to morph though, I mean more than usual. It's a right bitch, looking like this. Like …" she trailed off. Like what? Like a Black? Like _her_…Bellatrix. She shook her head. _Not now, Dora._ Remus got the impression he'd said the wrong thing so he changed the subject.

"So, did you speak to Dumbledore? Are you taking the position?" She didn't reply for a while. Then she looked at him with a mixture of fear and anticipation. She nodded and they said no more about it.

"I didn't want to come here," she admitted out of nowhere then regretted doing so until he nodded.

"Me neither."

"I don't think I can handle it. Harry needs people to be strong around him and I don't think I can do that, not right now."

"Me neither," Remus muttered again.

"Tell you what, I'll put on a brave face if you will. We can be strong together. I'll help you, you help me, and we both help Harry. Deal?" He took a moment to look at the young woman beside him, her natural appearance, the honesty in her words, her broken heart. He couldn't say no.

"Deal," he said quietly, feeling as if he had just signed his life away.

"Great. Well it's getting near six; we should wander over to Privet Drive. Don't want to piss the Dursleys off anymore than we have to." She took a deep breath and winced as she morphed her hair colour from very dark brown to a very dark red. She left it the same length. She gave a small squeak of pain and opened her eyes. They were now light green. _Like Lily's, _Remus thought then chided himself. _Don't even go there, not tonight._

"Why did you do that?" He tried to keep the demanding tone from his voice but he was annoyed that she had done that to herself. She gave him a shrug without looking at him.

"It's a security thing," she offered by way of explanation. She reached for her door handle and he did the same. As they approached Privet Drive they stopped. Lights were on at Number 4.

"I can't believe it's been a year since we were doing this last," Remus muttered to himself rather than Tonks. "So much has happened since then." Tonks took his arm.

"And so much more will happen this year, I don't doubt. We'll get through this Remus." He looked at her, his eyes stinging.

"I hope you're right Nymphadora."

Harry Potter lay on his bed, fully clothed, glasses on, staring at the ceiling. He couldn't remember if he had slept, it didn't feel like it. The early summer light fell through his bedroom window. Another day for him to go through the motions. He glanced at the digital alarm clock on his bedside table. It glowed 5:50am. A small tap on the door finally moved him from his motionless state. He opened the door slightly to see Aunt Petunia's thin face in the dim hall light. She, too, was dressed.

"Are you ready to go?" she hissed in a whisper. Harry simply nodded. Opening the door further, he turned to collect his broom, owl cage and trunk. He was surprised when his aunt held out her hand to offer help. Harry offered her the cage or broom, knowing she would take the cage.

"Quietly now, don't wake your uncle." Harry shifted his trunk as gently as he could down the stairs, meeting Aunt Petunia in the hallway at the bottom. She seemed nervous. She hadn't told her husband, Vernon, that Harry was leaving for school so soon and Harry thought that Uncle Vernon would see it as the nicest thing his wife had ever done for him. They stood in silence. Petunia was staring at Harry but he noticed that it wasn't her usual glare. It hadn't been all summer. He guessed that either she was fearful of the warnings the Order members had given her family the previous month, or that she knew more than Harry thought she did. He had seen an owl flying by the house on occasion and suspected Dumbledore had been keeping tabs. Harry's mind turned to his collectors. He guessed it would probably be Mr Weasley, or maybe Mad-Eye Moody. Last year Dumbledore had sent a large group to escort him. It shocked him that it was now only two members. Perhaps they had more important things to worry about. A light knock came at the door. Harry and Petunia looked at each other, the woman nodding her head to the door. He opened it slowly, his aunt peering over his shoulder. Greeting him were the two people he had least expected.

"Hello, Harry," the wizard said quietly. The witch said nothing. "Ready to go?" He nodded, taking the owl cage off his aunt and giving it to the witch. The wizard took the broom.

"Look after yourself," mumbled Aunt Petunia with as much affection as she could muster. She placed a hand on his shoulder, making him turn. She offered him a slight smile and he gave one back, feeling slightly confused. The door closed behind them, filling Harry with that familiar warm feeling in his stomach when he knew he wouldn't be returning to Privet Drive for a year. He followed Lupin and Tonks, dragging his trunk noisily behind him. The morning was already beginning to brighten. Harry stopped as Tonks opened the boot to a car. He glanced over to the bushes further up the street remembering the first time he had seen Sirius, in his dog form, three years ago. He heard Lupin and Tonks getting in the car and did the same. The doors banged shut and they sat there, the three of them, in silence. Eventually, Tonks turned to him.

"Hi, welcome to the Tonks-mobile, please keep all limbs inside the vehicle at all times and fasten your safety belt." Harry saw Remus nod eagerly, and he did as he was told. "Right," Tonks continued, "let's get going." She started the engine and they were off.

"Where are we going?" Harry asked as they pulled out of Magnolia Crescent. "Grimmauld Place?" Remus answered this, shaking his head.

"Eventually, yes. We have to make sure we aren't followed first so we are making a detour to Nymphadora's apartment. We'll be at Grimmauld Place by this evening, don't worry." Harry was worrying; he didn't want to go to Grimmauld Place. He swallowed hard and nodded to Lupin, who turned back around in his seat. Harry didn't travel by car often, and the experiences were not exactly pleasant; sitting in the back seat behind Uncle Vernon's stubbly, trunk-like neck, squashed by the obese Dudley who took up the remaining two back seats. Harry was relieved when Tonks reached for the radio button to fill the silence.

"Dora," Remus muttered. She just looked at him, mouthing the lyrics to the song that played causing him to sigh and look out the window. Any attempts he then made to turn it down were greeted with a slap on the hand. Harry was happy to sit quietly in the back, listening to Tonks singing along. She seemed to know the words to every song. After Tonks had been driving for three hours solid, they pulled in for a break. She was tired and needed some fresh air, so she offered to fetch some drinks from the service station, leaving Harry and Remus to sit uncomfortably by the car.

"So," Remus began, "how have you been?" the elder asked. Harry shrugged.

"You know," was all he said. Remus thought that he probably did know. "Tonks looks awful," Harry stated, causing Remus to give a short laugh.

"Yes she does, but don't you mention that to her. She knows. She's putting on quite an act, as I don't doubt we are either."

The trio moved on, down motorway after motorway. The humid weather was replaced by heavy rain, which was made worse by the immense traffic jam they were caught in.

"Must be an accident," Tonks guessed. "Or road works, more likely. Man, I hate this country." Their car crawled slowly for the next hour, causing Tonks to huff every other minute. Harry was in the middle of telling them about the 'incident' with Draco Malfoy and his cronies on the train home the month before, when a beeping interrupted him.

"What's that?" Remus asked, frowning. Harry listened too.

"Isn't that your phone Tonks?"

"Yeah, it's in my bag. Pass us it." Reluctantly, for Harry had always been told that it was rude to go through a woman's handbag, he found the phone and passed it to Tonks. She looked at the screen for the caller, then back at Harry.

"I don't condone using phones while driving, just thought I'd point that out now. Don't do it … and don't do drugs either," she added as an afterthought before answering the persistent ring. "Now then, poodle, what's up? I'm not at home. Oh no, sweetheart what's wrong?" Harry saw Remus look at him in his mirror, and gave him a sceptical look. He took this chance to turn the radio down. Tonks continued. "Aw, you're not crying are you? Good. Don't get mad; get even. Break his broom or something, I don't know. Are you still coming over? No that's fine sweetie. Listen, Minnie I gotta go, I'm driving. Yeah, yeah I know. Harry's here now, do you want to talk to him?" This made Harry frown. "Oh ok, I'll tell him you said hi anyway." Tonks gave a laugh. "Yeah, you too. Smile, eh? I'll see you soon. Love yaz." She hung up. "That was Hermione. Krum broke it off with her. Git." Harry was surprised that Hermione had been in contact with Tonks all summer. It made him a little angry that she hadn't called him, but he hadn't really wanted to speak to anyone anyway so he could hardly complain. The day got darker as the weather got worse. Tonks tried to drown out the sound of her squeaking window wipers with the radio, much to Lupin's annoyance. A melancholic song began to play. Harry recognised it, but couldn't say he knew it. He guessed Tonks did, however, as she whispered, "Oh no," as soon as the piano began. She reached to turn it off, but changed her mind and took a deep breath.

_I'm so tired of being here,  
__Suppressed by all my childish fears,  
__And if you have to leave I wish that you would just leave,  
__Coz your presence still lingers here and it wont leave me alone._

Silent tears began to roll down her cheeks, and she hoped that neither of her friends had noticed. She managed to carry on driving until the bridge of the song broke her down into sobs.

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone,  
__But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along._

Tonks pulled over into a lay-by, without question from her passengers and cried for the remainder of the song. When it had finished, Remus turned the radio off. No one said anything for a while.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her head resting on the steering wheel. "I shouldn't have done that. It's that song, gets me every time. It was a test and I failed miserably. You didn't need to see that, I'm sorry." Harry thought she was talking to him, until he saw her head turn to Remus next to her. He stroked her hair soothingly.

"Don't be silly, you daft cow," he said, causing her to laugh through a sob. Harry had no idea what had just happened, and kept quiet. He knew that dealing with his own grief was one thing, but coping with someone else's was going to be a lot harder than he had feared. He just hoped that this heavy depression that hung between he and his friends was lifted soon because, in all honesty, he didn't think he could cope much longer.

A/N: Please review. You've got this far, consider it a warm-down. Would make me smile, you know you want to.


	6. Memories

A/N: This chapter was inspired by me and my younger cousin finding an old video of one of her birthday parties when we were younger. Read if you'd like but it doesn't add anything really to the plot, just expands on the Tonks/Sirius relationship a bit (and I mean that in a non-incest way!)

"Nearly there," Tonks said cheerily as they reached the third floor of her building. Harry was feeling relieved that he had left his things in the trunk of her car. He sighed as he heard her keys jangle. She turned to Remus and Harry before opening the door.

"Sorry, it's a bit messy," she explained and opened the door for them. It was anything but messy. The large open-plan apartment was immaculate, from the polished wooden floors to the neatly placed cushions on the cream leather sofa. At the end of the room was what Harry could only describe as a glass wall. It had the most amazing view of the city he had ever seen.

"Oh, guess my mum's been over," he heard Tonks say as they entered. "When she gets depressed she likes to clean. When her and Dad went through a rough patch when I was a kid, she asked me to make mess just so she had something to tidy. Crazy! Anyway, make yourselves at home won't you." Harry couldn't stop looking around. His eyes landed on her wide-screen television in the corner.

"Like my new toy do you? Dolby surround sound too. Haven't figured out how to use it yet."

"Dudley's getting one for Christmas," Harry muttered. Remus had taken a seat on the edge of the long sofa. He looked nervous. She moved to sit next to him.

"Oh Mum, they are floor cushions they are meant to be on the floor!" she growled, throwing the large cushion at Harry who laughed and sat on it.

"Cool is that at a Blade?" he asked, pointing to the honey coloured electric guitar in the corner. Tonks nodded.

"Yup, Delta T2. That baby didn't come cheap either. Waste of money really, for the use I get our of it."

"Who taught you to play?"

"It was Sirius actually. He taught me the basics anyway, when I was a kid. He learnt off your dad, actually." Harry never knew his dad could play the guitar. "James gave up after a while but Sirius carried on learning. He was really good at one point, and then he stopped too. Anyway, can I get either of you a drink?" She rose and headed to her baby blue Smeg fridge.

"Tonks, your flat's amazing!" Harry exclaimed. She shook her head.

"It's not mine unfortunately. My mum and dad bought this place when I first left school. I just pay them rent. Every thing I own is theirs, even my car. I guess it was just my parent's last plan of desperation to get me to conform to their standards." She gave a sad smile. She frowned, noticing a note on the marble sideboard. Tonks read it aloud.

"Dear Dory, your apartment was a disgrace. If I ever find it like that again there'll be trouble. And also I've thrown your cigarettes away," Tonks gave a groan and continued. "Do not start that habit again. I found something when I was tidying at home; I thought you might like it. I've left it in your room. Hope you're well. Call me soon. Love Mum." Tonks screwed up the piece of paper and chucked it on the floor.

"Do you smoke Tonks?" This came from Remus who, until now, had been reading a recent copy of Cosmopolitan with a look of bemusement on his face.

"I used to. Started when I was 15 then quit when I left school. I only bought one packet the other day," she mumbled in embarrassment as she saw the looks of disapproval on their faces. As a way of escape, she scurried off through a door that led to her bedroom. Harry noticed something on the wall behind him. It was a collage of photos, some Muggle, some moving magically. He got up to have a closer look and Remus followed.

"That's Tonks' mother there," he pointed for the boy. Harry saw the tall and elegant woman wearing white, stood to a man he guessed was Tonks' father Ted. There were many photos; Tonks with two other young women, grinning and looking slightly drunk, Harry, Ron and Hermione last Christmas, a young Sirius holding a grey cat by the scruff of it's neck and grimacing in a 'what is that!' kind of way. "Is Snuffles still alive?" Harry turned sharply to Remus at his question, only to notice it was aimed at Tonks who had just entered, carrying a videocassette. She placed it on the table and went to join them.

"Nah, got hit by a car. Oh I loved Snuffles. So did Sirius really, he just pretended he didn't." Remus turned back to the wall and gave a gasp of surprise.

"That's me!" Sure enough, Harry saw a young Remus stood with his own father James, and Sirius. He assumed Peter was once in the photo and had left. Tonks grinned.

"Yeah, Riu sent me that just before you guys left Hogwarts, a few years before I started. I really didn't want to go." She reached for the picture and pulled in down from the wall. Turning it over, Harry could see writing scribed on the back.

_Dear T-Bird, your mum said you're thinking of not coming to Hogwarts. I just thought I'd write to you and let you know that would such a huge mistake. I have made friends here that mean so much to me that you will never understand until you make friends of your own. I know that the Wizarding world gets you down, just remember to have fun, get in to trouble and work relatively hard (I have to put that, I'm just messing!) Please reconsider Dora. It would make me happy. You won't regret it, I promise. Love you lots, Riu x_

Tonks sighed as she finished reading it. _Liar_, she thought though she wasn't bitter about it. Harry looked at her in concern. He had never guessed that his godfather and Tonks were as close as they now appeared to be. He felt guilty for feeling so depressed at the loss of Sirius when he was with two people that had known him much longer than he had. Tonks offered him a smile.

"Come on, I've got something to show you." She turned on her TV and put the video in. Then, placing herself between Remus and Harry on the sofa, she reached for the remote. The screen was black and the date 12/08/88 appeared briefly in the corner.  
"What's this?" Remus asked but Tonks shushed him. A 20-year-old Sirius Black greeted them.

"_Hello? Hello!"_

"_You don't have to shout Riu," came Andromeda's voice. _

"_How do you know it's working?"_

"_It is, trust me."_

"_Let's stop it and watch so far." He walked towards the camera and the screen went blank._

Remus wasn't sure he was ready to see this. His friend was still so young and happy, without any of the years of Azkaban weighing on him. He glanced over at Harry, who was smiling. This was enough for Remus and he sat back to watch the rest.

"_Hello again, my name is Sirius Black and this is my beautiful assistant, Nymphadora Tonks." The 8-year-old girl sat next to him giggled._ (Tonks nudged Harry who was sniggering.)_"I'm going to show you a magic trick." Sirius picked up a small cake and managed to fit it all into his mouth in one go. "Da daa!" came the muffled response through a mouthful of cake._ The screen flickered and changed. The camera was bobbing along at a relative pace.

"_Dora don't run with that!" The camera continued to travel. Dora tripped over something black and furry, and shrieked; the camera fell to the floor. It rolled to a halt, showing tail of a familiar dog. Dora giggled and a transformed Sirius laughed, "You idiot!"_

_Ted Tonks was sat at a table, cupping a mug with both hands.  
_"_Piss off Sirius," he laughed lightly as Sirius came closer. "You know what you're getting for Christmas this year!"_

"_I think it's amazing," Sirius' voice replied. "It wouldn't work at Hogwarts though. James would love this. He's so vain. It would probably amuse Remus for a minute, but he'd get over it" _(Harry glanced at Remus and he nodded in agreement.) _"I think it's great though." Andromeda came in to view._

"_Riu, can you go fetch Dora in for tea please." The camera began to move. "You can leave that here if you want."_

"_No way!" He shifted the camera in his hand so that it faced him as he walked. He lowered his voice. "We are now hunting the rare T-bird. It can usually be found sitting on its backside doing nothing. Follow me." He travelled for a moment before stopping. He turned the camera back around to show Nymphadora sat cross-legged by an outdoor pool stroking her grey cat Snuffles. "Ah, I have spotted it." He went closer, his young cousin still unaware of his presence. He laid the camera on the ground so only his legs were visible as he approached her. He grabbed the cat off her and she squealed. It tried to scratch him and he laughed. _

"_Nice try Snuffles. Come on, do it! I'm warning you, I have a pet werewolf that would kick your ass!" _(Remus smiled sadly at the comment.) _Sirius held the cat above the pool and it wriggled in his hands._

"_Sirius, don't!" Dora wailed. He eventually let the cat free and it ran with immense speed out of shot. _

"_You have sacrificed yourself for your animal. That is very noble of you." He grabbed the squealing girl._

"_No, Riu! I can't swim!"_

"_Learn! There's a first time for everything!" With that he flung her into the pool, transformed into a huge black dog and dived in after her causing droplets of water to appear on the screen and Andromeda's voice to shout over Dora's squeaks._

"_Sirius, what are you doing!"_

The screen went blank. Harry thought the video had finished until he heard Tonks give a gasp and shield her eyes. He turned back to the screen to see Sirius and a young Tonks dancing a routine to upbeat music.

"_Whoa, wrong way," Sirius exclaimed as they bumped into each other. Dora giggled. _

"_You're too good at this Riu. I think you've secretly been practicing."_

"_No secret about it T-Bird."_ _Sirius began to sing along._ (Harry had to admit he was pretty good.) _He picked the young girl up and spun her around. They both looked so happy. The music stopped suddenly and they both looked to their right._

"_Muuuum!"_

"_Andiiiiie!" Sirius copied the girl's tone and his elder cousin laughed._

"_Bed now Dory." The girl began to sulk and stormed off. _

The final shot of the video was taken by neither Tonks nor Sirius. Harry knew this because, as the camera came into focus, he saw a sleeping girl and a large black dog cuddled up together on a pink duvet.

"_Aww, how cute," Andromeda's voice whispered. "And Dora too." The dog kept his eyes closed but let out a low, playful growl. Andie laughed. "Ok, ok. I'll leave you two alone. Sweet dreams." _

The screen went blank.

Tonks pressed stop. They sat there in silence. Harry eventually spoke first.

"Sirius was an idiot." He rose from his seat and went to grab a drink that Tonks had left on the kitchen side. Tonks glanced over a Remus who was still staring at the blank screen.

"Are you ok?" she asked quietly and he nodded.

"You know, I think I will be."

A/N: You like? Review if you did, review if you didn't. Next chapters will be focussed on the plot, promise : )


	7. Unwelcome encounter

A/N: Thanks for the reviews guys, I'm gonna try and move the plot along now, I feel I've dithered too much. Oh and by the way, if you don't particularly like this chapter, don't worry neither do I! I've had writer's block for a while now and I'm hoping that this has broken it. Thanks for reading :)

Harry, Tonks and Remus reached Number 12 Grimmauld Place later that afternoon, as the rain began to fall more heavily than before. Harry swallowed hard as the manor house appeared in front of him. Part of him was longing to see his friends again. A small part of him anyway. The rest of him would much prefer to hide up in his room until September 1st. He stood in the hallway, carrying his broom and breathed in deeply. The house still had it's old, fusty smell, and dark atmosphere. But it felt changed, empty as if something was clearly missing. Something or someone. Harry was brought back from his depressing thought by a rib-braking bear hug from behind. He tried to see who it was and got a face full of ginger hair. It was Ron.

"Harry!" he cried wildly then giggled like a schoolgirl. Harry looked to Tonks, confused. She sighed angrily.

"George! Fred! Get down here!" she yelled, waking Mrs Black, much to Remus' annoyance. He shot Tonks a glare and closed the curtains around her portrait, then headed downstairs to the kitchen.

"Er, hi there Ron. What … what are you doing?" Harry asked in bewilderment as Ron released him, then proceeded in taking out the contents of the troll-leg umbrella stand and turning it upside-down to use as a stool. He lowered himself on to it and missed by a great distance. At that moment, George Weasley crept timidly down the stairs.

"George, what have you done to your brother?" Tonks demanded. The twin hesitated; obviously thinking of an excuse, then gave up and came out with it.

"Me and George are inventing Soberup Sweets, '…fast relief for any drunken situation'. Of course, we had to test it first and Ron was more than willing to participate," he added quickly.

"Well, did you consider what your mother would do to you if she found out that you got your little brother drunk?"

"I'm not scared of her!" Ron slurred from the floor, then gave a hiccough. Harry had to admit that this wasn't the welcome he had been expecting, and he was pleased about it. He had been worried how Ron would act around him after their time apart. He now realised he needn't have bothered.

"Harry, would you help George drag Ron upstairs before Molly sees him." She turned to George, "And you and Fred better watch it, I'll cover for you now but I may not be as forgiving next time." Her words were sharp but she winked at him. George nodded with a grin and help Harry support Ron up the flight of stairs.

Tonks sighed and followed Remus into the kitchen. She was pleasantly surprised to find Charlie Weasley there, along with Bill.

"Hi," Charlie grinned at her. She felt stupid for blushing.

"Right Chas, we'd best get going," Bill said, matter-of-factly. Charlie looked put out.

"I'm gonna stay a little longer. See you at home." Bill took the hint that he was being dismissed and Disapperated. Tonks wished Remus wasn't there, and then chided herself for such a thought.Shesat there, uncomfortably silent and noticed Charlie doing the same. Remus, on the other hand, was completely oblivious to the couple's shy affections. He began to put the kettle on noisily.

"So… you like Quidditch?" Charlie asked randomly to break the ice. Tonks nodded.

"Yeah, well watching anyway. Wasn't much of a player myself," she added with a rueful smile. "I remember you on the Gryffindor team though, you played well." Charlie seemed to brighten at these words.

"Really?"

"Yeah, well we won the cup with you as Seeker didn't we. Can't be bad."

"Were you in the year below me?" Charlie asked, intrigued. Tonks gave a sharp laugh.

"Nah, course not. Two years above you. Bill's year." Charlie seemed to falter at this. It was if he had lost all chance he had with her, knowing that she was 2 years his senior. She picked up on this and cringed.

"I don't remember you," he admitted bluntly. "You seem to be the kind of person I would remember." Before Tonks could respond, Remus interjected as he made a cup of tea for himself. Tonks had forgotten he was there.

"Most people remember Tonks. Most fine China tea sets and antique ornaments remember her too." She glared at him and he smirked to himself, obviously pleased.

"Anyway…" she said loudly, changing the subject. "I'm gonna take Harry to Diagon Alley tomorrow so he can stock up. Did you wanna come or will you be too busy moping?" she teased. However, before Remus had the chance to even consider her offer, Charlie jumped in.

"I'll go with you if you want."

"Great," Tonks beamed. Remus rolled his eyes.

"I'll drop by in the morning then." Charlie rose from his seat. "Better get home." He sounded as if he wanted to stay. Tonks didn't mind though, she'd get to spend the next day with him. Her insides gave a silent cheer.

"See you tomorrow then." He offered her a small smile, nodded at Remus, then Disapperated. Tonks let out a sigh of content. Remus sat down next to her and she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Still got it!" she said smugly and he laughed.

"Did you ever lose it?"

"True. Hey you're not bothered about not going to Diagon Alley tomorrow are you? Hope I haven't offended you."

"No, not at all. I didn't want to go anyway. You have fun." She looked up at him.

"You know I could never replace you, right?" Not really knowing, he nodded anyway. She smiled at him and kissed him on the cheek.

"Right, I'm off to bed."

She rose, gave a little jig of excitement and climbed the stairs, leaving Remus alone.

"Wotcher Harry," Tonks called over her mug of tea the next morning as the teenager dragged himself down the kitchen stairs. He nodded to her but said nothing. "Sleep well?" He nodded again, helping himself to tea and again saying nothing. Tonks had a feeling that it was going to be a long day.

"Ah, Harry dear you're awake." Mrs Weasley bustled into the kitchen. She wore her apron around her waste and her sleeves were rolled up, indicating that she had already been busy that morning, though it was still early. "Tonks is taking you to Diagon Alley today. You look after yourself won't you, stay near her," she warned.

"Is Professor Lupin coming?" Harry asked, breaking his own silence.

"Err, no Harry. Charlie is coming with us instead." At this, Molly raised her eyebrows. Tonks offered her an awkward smile, which faded as she saw the look of disappointment flash across Harry's face. Harry liked Charlie and didn't really have a problem with him tagging along, but after having the spent the past few weeks of the summer dreading Lupin's presence, Harry had to admit that he had missed his old teacher.

The fresh morning had begun to brighten as Harry and Tonks set off from Grimmauld Place. Charlie was waiting outside for them.

"Hi Harry, how are you?"

"I'm fine thanks," Harry lied, hating how formal his voice sounded. They set off at a pace towards the nearest tube station. Harry noticed that both his accompaniers held their wands tightly in their pockets. The three of them rarely spoke, concentrating on those around them; those who may pose a threat. Harry was relived when they reached The Leaky Cauldron, even more so when the brick wall parted and they stepped into Diagon Alley itself. For Harry it was as if both Tonks and Charlie had relaxed, as if the very street itself would offer Harry the protection he needed. Unfortunately, Harry knew that this wasn't the case.

The street was packed with shoppers, who didn't give Harry a second glance much to his relief. He was jealous, however, that they did not seem to have as pressing worries as he did. The happy atmosphere was beginning to annoy him already.

"Right," said Tonks briskly, "First thing's first … ice-cream for breakfast, what do you recon?" She grinned down at him and he couldn't help but be pleased that her mood had lightened from the day before. He nodded and Charlie gave a laugh.

"Great, Florean Fortescue's it is then."

They found an empty table outside under a large parasol. Tonks and Harry sat down, while Charlie went to order.

"Chocolate for me, ta," Tonks called after him. "And … I dunno … banana or something for Harry. Fruit's supposed to be good for you." She winked at Harry and he laughed.

"So, what's going on with you and Charlie?" he asked innocently.

"Nothing, don't be nosey," she said mock-firmly but her grin was still there.

As the three of them ate their ice creams, Harry felt more and more as if he was the outsider. Tonks laughed at everything Charlie said, even if it wasn't particularly funny. They talked about work and family. Harry felt like he was an intruder on their first date. He thought about starting his shopping andbegan to rise from his seat, then thought they'd probably not let him go anyway and sat back down.

"So, you were in Bill's year were you? I didn't see you around much," Charlie was saying. Tonks nodded.

"Yeah, well I kept myself to myself, you know. Wasn't the loud and proud Tonks I am today."

"No? Well I still don't remember seeing you in the common room or anywhere like that. Still, if you changed your hair as much as you do now that's probably why."

"Well, I was ill quite a bit too," she said quietly into her ice cream. Charlie, who hadn't noticed her avoiding topic, carried on.

"Yeah? What was wrong with you?" he asked. She hesitated, twiddling her spoon.

"I had depression." She risked a glance up at her two friends. Charlie looked at the table uncomfortably. Harry looked shocked, he had always thought of Tonks as a bright and bubbly woman. She offered a weak smile.

"It's ok, don't worry bout it. I'd rather not talk about it though."

They left the ice cream parlour shortly after that and headed for Flourish and Blotts. Harry's book list for the new school year was relatively short. He saw Neville being squashed in a corner of the packed shop, his grandmother close at hand. Harry offered him a wave and the boy waved back feebly but they never got chance to talk. His grandmother, however, scowled at Harry. He guessed that she blamed him for the broken nose Neville obtained just before the end of term. He grabbed the books he needed off the shelves and bumped into Tonks who was avoiding knocking over a precarious pile of Gilderoy Lockhart's _Magical Me_ (They were in the sale.)

"Ready to go?" she asked.

"Just got to pay." He handed her the books while he retrieved his moneybag from his pocket. At that moment, he heard a familiar sneering voice coming from behind him, followed by a smooth, cynical female voice. Harry closed his eyes, dreading who it was going to be, but already knowing. Tonks spun around and gave a small gasp.

They stood face to face with Draco Malfoy and his mother Narcissa. Both had shocking blonde hair and pale faces, though they seemed more so than usual. Narcissa had dark rings under her eyes and looked incredibly pale for a woman of such power.

"Dora," she muttered quietly.

"Aunt Sissy," Tonks replied, hoping that that would be it to the conversation. Narcissa's eyes flicked on to Harry and then back to her niece. She leaned in closer to her.

"You've got a nerve bringing him here, after all the damage he's caused. He should be the one locked up!" she hissed. Tonks didn't flinch.

"You know that's not true, Narcissa." She began to walk off, Harry following closely behind. Narcissa stop her with a comment.

"You're on the wrong side of this war Dora. One day you'll realise that. I just hope it's not too late." And with that she turned and fled from the shop so abruptly that her hair swung after her like a white cape. Tonks realised that she was breathing heavily.

"Come on, let's find Charlie and go," she said without looking at Harry.

After her run-in with her aunt, Tonks didn't feel like staying in Diagon Ally much longer. Harry purchased some supplies from the Apothecary for his Potions set, and hurriedly bought Hermione a book about House-Elf Rights though he knew he'd regret it, for her birthday which was coming up in September. They didn't even stop off in Fred and George's shop on the way home, much to Harry and Charlie's disappointment. Tonks seemed to be distracted by what her aunt had said to her for the rest of the day. Harry was even glad when they reached Grimmauld Place, as Tonks' reverie was beginning to drag him down into a fit of the sullens too. Charlie said goodbye to them as the house came into view.

"Well, it's been fun. We should meet up again sometime, Tonks." She nodded but said nothing. Charlie seemed a tad crestfallen. "See you around Harry." He Apperated.

The pair entered Grimmauld Place in silence and headed for the kitchen. Bill Weasley was there, sat in the corner reading a long piece of parchment. He smiled as they entered. Remus was also there, talking Lady Thompson. This annoyed Tonks even more, though she didn't know why. She felt a pang of something, jealousy? Was she jealous of Lady spending time with Remus? She knew that was silly, after all she had just spent the day with Charlie. However, there was something about the woman that Tonks just did not like. Remus looked up as Tonks banged some of Harry's books on the table.

"Have fun?" he asked. Tonks shook her head and picked up the books again.

"I'll take these upstairs for you, Harry." She walked out without a second glance.

"Is she ok?" Remus asked in concern.

"Well she was fine this morning, until we had a run in with her aunt." Remus' jaw dropped. "Narcissa Malfoy," Harry explained and the alarmed look on Lupin's face faded. He sat down, very much aware that he was being stared at.

"Erm hi, I'm Harry, who are you?" he asked. The woman offered her hand, which he reluctantly took.

"I'm Lady Thompson, I'm new to the Order. Remus here has been telling me all about you." Harry wasn't sure if he was pleased about that but smiled at her politely. He turned to his old teacher.

"Hey, did you know Tonks used to suffer from depression?" he asked, taking his chance to ask now while she wasn't in the room. Remus frowned and shook his head.

"No, she never said. Neither did Sirius. Are you sure?"

"Yeah she admitted it to Charlie, but didn't say anything else."

Bill gave a cough from the corner. Harry spun round in his seat and Bill offered him a grin.

"Tonks was bullied at school, she doesn't like to talk about it."

"Bullied?" he echoed in surprise.

"Yeah, maybe not in the conventional sense but it was still bullying. She was ignored mainly, and didn't have many friends." He gave a little laugh. "I remember her mum had to drag her on the train, kicking and screaming most of the time, and I'm not over exaggerating either. There came a point when her parents wouldn't let her go home during holidays in the year because she wouldn't want to go back. Plus she was banned from going to Hogsmeade because she tried to run away." Bill smirked at the shocked look on Harry's face. "Unbelievable isn't it, looking at her now. And it was all to do with what she is. Her mum tried to force her to hide the fact that she's a Metamophmagus. Tonks didn't want to, she said it would be like pretending to be someone she wasn't. That was what caused it all, people simply didn't trust her." Bill's voice had an edge of regret to it, as if he himself wished things could have been different. Remus swallowed hard. He had had no idea things had been so bad for Tonks. Even he, a werewolf, had managed to enjoy school and make close friends.

"Have you quite finished Mr Weasley?" They looked up to see Tonks stood at the top of the stairs, hands on hips.

"Oh Tonks, um… I'm sorry –"

"Don't worry bout it," she shrugged descending the stairs slowly. "Harry was curious, I didn't want to tell, you can't keep you're mouth shut. No harm done." She smiled at them all. They stared back at her.

"Seriously guys, I'm fine."

Harry looked at her sympathetically, as if he wanted nothing more than to give her a big hug. She thumped him on the arm, and then ruffled his hair.

"Ahh get off!" he growled and tried to do the same to her short spikes. She laughed and over powered him.

"Don't think that, coz I was a wet lettuce at school, I'm a pushover now. I had enough beatings off Sirius when I was younger to learn how to fight back." She winked over at Remus who offered her a smile and was then roped back into a conversation with Lady. She scowled at them but it went unnoticed, then progressed in grabbing Harry in a headlock, pulling them both sideways off their seats, shouting all the way.

A/N: Review please : )


	8. The Hogwarts Express

A/N: I know I've kinda messed up the length of their Summer Holiday but heyho. What can you do?

_For a June evening it was cool. Tonks, who had been shivering all day for some unknown reason, sat in front of the hearth watching the amber flames dance around. Sirius was there of course, with Remus, Kingsley Shacklebolt and Mad-Eye Moody. They were in the middle of a causal conversation. Sirius would give out a bark of a laugh at regular intervals, causing Tonks to glance their way but not join in. The grin Sirius wore faded as he noticed his cousin staring into the fire._

_"Is she ok?" he asked Kingsley, who shrugged slightly._

"_She's been like that all day," he admitted. Moody on the other hand did not seem so worried. _

"_Even Tonks needs time to think every now and again, let her be." But Sirius wasn't so sure. He twisted in his seat so he was facing in her direction._

"_This must be the longest amount of time you've kept quiet, T-Bird," he joked. No response. "T? ... Tonks!" Again, nothing. He sighed impatiently. "Nymphadora!" he exclaimed sharply, sounding so much like his cousin Andromeda that Tonks snapped her head towards him. She frowned, as if she had only just realised that the four men were in the room._

"_What?" she breathed. Sirius, looking concerned, rose from his seat to crouch by her._

"_Tonks, what's wrong?" he asked. She was looking at the fire again. Her cousin turned to his friends, who returned his look of concern and confusion._

"_Where's Harry?" she asked suddenly, speaking louder this time. Her question took Sirius aback. He gave a nervous laugh._

"_Harry? He's a school, Tonks. Right?" Feeling a jolt of panic in the pit of his stomach he turned to the men behind him for confirmation. All three nodded; as far as they knew, Harry Potter was safe at Hogwarts. This didn't seem to reassure Tonks. She gave a shudder. Sirius put an arm around her, drawing her close._

"_Something bad is about to happen Sirius, I just know it."_

"_You don't know that, Tonks." This came from Kingsley. _

"_I just have a feeling, ok?" she said angrily._

"_Well- trained Auror have whims all the time, it's part of the job!" Moody spoke up proudly, giving Tonks a 'that's my girl' smile. He seemed totally oblivious that she was terrified. Sirius gave her a kiss on the head._

"_Don't worry, T-Bird. I'm sure Harry will be fine." She shook her head._

"_No not Harry, you. I'm worried about you Riu." She paused. "Just promise me … promise me you won't leave the house." Sirius opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again, bewildered. Kingsley and Moody exchanged meaningful looks, and Remus' face was set. Sirius laughed lightly to break the tension._

"_Why would I leave the house?"_

"_I don't know," she cried, leaping up and making them all jump. Tonks had given herself head rush. She squeezed her eyes tightly together, like she did when she morphed, then opened them to stare straight into Sirius' eyes._

"_Please…stay here." He nodded at her and enveloped her into a hug. She rested her head on his chest as he stroked her hair, while giving the other's questioning glances over the top of her head. They too looked completely baffled. He prised Tonks away from him._

"_Don't worry T-Bird, I'm not going anywhere."_

Tonks awoke with a start. The summer light was already beginning to fall through the thin curtains in her room at Grimmauld Place. She knew it was going to be a bad day already, purely for the fact that she had woken with a headache. Her temples throbbed as if she had spent the whole night frowning in her sleep. Tonks attempted to sit up but eventually gave in. She considered going back to sleep for a while but the noise of the Weasley children stampeding up and down the hallway, plus the sound of Harry's unusually loud voice caused her to get up. Pulling on a dressing gown, she made her way down into the kitchen. Before she could open her mouth to greet the many Weasleys and Remus, she was rounded on by Harry who looked rather put out about something.

"Why aren't you dressed yet?" he demanded in a rather shrill voice that resembled Hermione Granger. Tonks pulled a disgruntled face and passed him to sit down.

Today was Sunday 31st August and Sirius Black's memorial service at Hogwarts. Although it was being taken care of, Harry Potter had decided to take matters into his own hands. While his friends had been pleased about this at first (it being a positive way to deal with his grief) they were beginning to find it unbearable.

"Hermione's late," he pointed out bluntly to no one in particular. Ginny sighed loudly.

"She's meeting us at the train station. Relax Harry!"

Mrs Weasley tried to wrestle Harry's hair down flat but to no avail. She kept trying however, and Harry was beginning to look as if he wanted very much to bat her away with an impatient hand. Ron seemed to pick up on this and told his mum to leave Harry alone.

Tonks kept glancing over a Remus who had the Daily Prophet open in front of him but hadn't turned the page for some time. His eyes seemed tired and unfocussed. The mood was already turning sombre. Even the Weasley twins were eating their breakfasts in relative silence. Tonks turned her head to find Harry glaring at her, very close to her face. She leaned away from him quickly.

"Whoa!"

"Well?" he asked, impatiently. "Go get dressed!" Tonks paused reluctantly before replying.

"Harry the thing is," she lowered her tone of voice, hoping that Harry would take the hint and do the same. "The thing is Harry, that I'm not getting dressed because I'm not coming."

All eyes fell on her. Molly stopped washing up, Remus lowered his paper slightly, and even the twins stopped eating. Their eyes flicked from Tonks to Harry. Tonks thought he was going to yell at her but he responded in an overly calm voice.

"You are coming Tonks." She shook her head and this irritated him.

"Harry, please. Don't make this harder for me. I really don't want to go. You don't need me there. What's the point?" Silence fell as Harry thought up a response. He really did not want to say this in front of an audience but she left him no choice.

"The point is, _Nymphadora_, that I have spent the last month, both day and night, convincing myself that I should go today. I even doubt now that I can do it. And to be honest, one of the only things keeping me going is having people like you around me. People who are hurting as much as I am. People who need me as much as I need them. And now, on today of all days, you tell me you aren't coming to say goodbye to your cousin who you loved so much and who loved you so much in return all because you see no point … Well …to be honest … I think that really takes the piss, don't you?"

Harry sat down, shaking slightly. Although his voice had cracked slightly, he was proud of himself that he had said all he had to say without breaking down into sobs of tears. Tonks stood there in shock. When she didn't move to get dressed, Harry called over his shoulder.

"Maybe it's time you grew up and got over yourself, don't you think?" he said almost casually. He noticed both Molly and Remus go to say something but neither did. Maybe he had crossed a line, he didn't know. Maybe she even needed to hear it. He heard Tonks climb the stairs behind him and lowered his head, the guilt begin to fill him.

"Nice one!" Ginny hissed and followed Tonks upstairs. Ron cleared his throat uncomfortably. No one else dared to speak.

At 9 o'clock, Arthur Weasley arrived with Bill and Charlie, Moody, Kingsley and Mundungus Fletcher. Although Harry, Ron and Ginny were taking their school trunks with them, things seemed much more orderly than in recent years. For a start the twins were not joining them at school, and also Hermione wasn't there. It felt strange to be going back on the Hogwarts Express on a Sunday. Harry assumed that Platform 9 ¾ would be empty and that would be another contribution to the ease of their journey. A set back, however, was that they had to travel in their "Advanced Guard" formation, all the way into town. The children were placed in the middle of their group, the adults surrounding them. Harry was disappointed to note that Tonks had placed herself near the back, and hadn't looked his way once all morning. He kept turning his head as they walked, trying to catch her eye. He wanted to let her know he was sorry. Moody, who was walking directly behind Harry tapped him sharply on the head with his knuckles, forcing the boy to face forwards. Harry nudged Remus, who had chosen to walk next to him.

"Can you tell Tonks I'm sorry and that I didn't mean to upset her," he muttered quietly, feeling like he was passing notes in class under the precarious eye of Professor Moody. Remus smiled slightly and shook his head.

"I'm sure she knows. Anyway you can tell her yourself when we get on the train." He placed a hand on the boy's shoulder to try and relieve his concerned look.

They group arrived at Kings Cross Station just after 9:30. Moody split the group up; Tonks, Molly and Kingsley went with Fred and George, Bill and Charlie took charge of Ginny and Ron, and Moody, Arthur and Lupin brought up the rear with Harry in a group of his own. Once he had walked through the barrier to Platform 9 ¾, Harry took a deep breath in and let the familiar smell of the steam train comfort him. The train was smaller than usual; many carriages had been removed. Harry guessed that their journey would take less time. He had heard Mrs Weasley say that Dumbledore was expecting them by 1:30. Looking around he saw two people stood together beside the train. The elder of the two was Harry's Transfiguration teacher and Head of House, Professor McGonagall; the other was Harry and Ron's best friend Hermione Granger. She waved eagerly to Harry and he left Moody's side at a pace to greet her. They hugged tightly and broke apart. He was pleased to see that she looked healthier than she had at the end of term, after she had almost been killed at the Department of Mysteries.

"Harry, I've missed you so much!" she squeaked, pulling him into another hug and making him smile. "I'm so glad your ok."She looked around the platform.

"Oh, there's Tonks. I'd best go say hi. Talk to you in a bit." Harry watched her go, again feeling guilty at the sight of Tonks. He began to follow her but was then spun around and ushered onto the scarlet steam engine by Mrs Weasley.

"We can't hang about, Harry," she was saying. "Put your trunk in the carriage with Hermione's and find a seat."

Harry's stomach felt like lead as he remembered the reason they were all there. Nodding to Mrs Weasley, he followed Ron onto the train. The children took one carriage; the Order members took another, leaving a few spare. Harry struggled with Hedwig's cage, almost tripping over a loose Crookshanks. When the commotion of boarding the train had finished, and the train began to move, Harry was again filled with an uneasy feeling. Fred and George were talking to Ron about their relief of their mother not making them go back to Hogwarts to resit their 6th year.

"Not that I would really mind being in the same year as my younger bro," George was saying, he then lowered his voice "It's being in classes with Hermione, I don't think I could cope with that!" Ron grinned and gave him a you-are-so-right nod. Hermione was talking to Ginny.

"Tonks doesn't seem too happy this morning, does she? Still I suppose none of us are," Hermione mused. "What do you think's wrong with her?" Ginny scowled at Harry and replied.

"Maybe you should ask Harry that." Harry rose from his seat and slid the door to their compartment open, leaving Hermione puzzled and Ginny fuming.

Harry walked down the stunted train and came to the other occupied compartment. He gave a small knock and slid open the door. The faces of the Order members all turned to him as if he had just interrupted an important conversation. He faltered.

"Oh, sorry. I thought Tonks was in here." He began to shut the door when Kingsley spoke up.

"She's not in with you?" Harry shook his head.

"Maybe she's done a runner," Bill said lightly. "It's like being back at school all over again."

Harry noticed Remus looking out the window.

"Maybe you should go look for her Harry," he said quietly to the glass pane. He didn't see Harry nod his agreement, only heard the door slide to.

Harry found Tonks in an empty carriage towards the back of the train. She had her feet up on the seat and was hugging her knees to her body in comfort. She did not wear her usual jeans, but a pair of baggy black trousers and a tight black t-shirt with a thin grey fleece zipped up to her chest. She was unmorphed, and Harry had to admit that she was rather pretty. Her dark hair, which usually fell in waves around her neck, was straight and flicked around her pale face. Her eyes look away from the window and fell on him as he came to the door. Harry found his voice eventually.

"Can I come in?" She shrugged and glanced back out of the window. He took the seat opposite her and studied her intently for some time before speaking again.

"Look, about this morning –"

"Forget it, ok? You had every right to say what you did. Don't apologise."

"I feel awful. I didn't mean to upset you. I thought we were becoming friends," he added quietly. She gave a weak laugh and looked at him.

"We are friends Harry. Let's just forget about this morning, ok?"

She fell silent and Harry wrung his hands in his lap uncomfortably.

"I just didn't understand, I guess." He tried to explain. "I know how much Sirius meant to you. I didn't want you to regret not saying goodbye …" he trailed off as he noticed tears starting to fall down her cheeks. She shook her head.

"But I'm not ready to say goodbye, I can't! Not while I'm feeling like this…" she hesitated.

"Like what Tonks?" he asked quietly. She choked on a sob and rose from her seat in frustration.

"I hate him Harry, I really do! I loved him so much and now all I feel is anger towards him. I shouldn't but I do!" Harry opened his mouth to speak but she continued, letting her hot tears fall fiercely. "Why did he have to be so stupid? Why wouldn't he listen? I knew he was going to die. I told him the night before and he promised me he would stay indoors but he lied to me! He broke that promise! He had left me alone before and he's gone and done it again, only this time there's no coming back. Maybe it would have been better if he had stayed in Azkaban. That way you would never have known him and I wouldn't have had to have my heart broken for a second time. Well I hope your happy Riu," she cried to thin air, "I really do!" She fell to the floor in sobs. Harry stood over her, frozen to the spot. She hadn't meant to tell him any of that. Harry crouched down beside her and put his arms around her like Sirius had done by the hearth that night. She sobbed onto his chest.

"I'm so sorry Harry. I'm so sorry." He shushed her and rocked her slightly to comfort her. After awhile he managed to lift her slightly back into her seat. Feeling uncomfortable, he glanced to the door.

"Um… maybe I should go get Professor Lupin." She shook her head desperately.

"No. I don't want him to see me like this. He needs us to be strong today." Harry nodded and joined her on the seat.

"Ok then, I'll stay. I'll be strong for you."

The Hogwarts Express reached Hogsmeade at 1.30pm, just as the clouds were beginning to overcast the fading summer sun. Professor McGonagall led them to the carriages, which were once again being drawn by Thestrals. Harry felt Tonks hesitate next to him as she looked up to the castle.

"It's ok," he whispered, taking her hand and leading her to the nearest carriage. Remus saw them and smiled, following them in with Hermione and Ron. As the carriage neared the castle, Tonks gave a groan.

"Oh great, there she is."

"There who is?" Ron asked. Tonks grimaced.

"My mother," she told him as he craned his neck out of the window to see. The woman standing by the stone steps of Hogwarts was tall and dark. Her long hair swept about her in the wind with an air of impatience.

"I'm sure she's not that bad."

"Oh she is. She's a right head case," Tonks told them, screwing a finger into a temple. "Always has been. Mind you, with a daughter like me who could blame her," she laughed. "Just be careful what you say to her though. She doesn't agree with me being in the Order. She doesn't particularly like Dumbledore, oh and if she asks you if I've got a boyfriend then say yes." Hermione laughed and then stopped suddenly as she saw the sullen look on Tonks' face.

"I'm serious Minnie, she thinks I'm gonna die an old maid or something. When I was 21 she sent out invitations to my wedding telling my Muggle relatives that they were invited but we hadn't set a date yet."

"Who's 'we'?" Ron asked.

"That's what I would like to know!" Tonks said exasperatedly.

As the carriages slowed to a halt, the group seemed to take a collective deep breath. Harry climbed out first and helped Hermione down. Andromeda Tonks was crossing over to them.

"Wait for it," Tonks muttered as her feet reached the ground. "Hello, Mamma."

"Dora," her mother greeted her, hugging her then letting her go immediately. "To be honest I didn't expect you to come." She looked her daughter up and down. "Well at least you look reasonable." Her eyes shifted over her daughter's shoulder to where Lupin was stood with Ron.

"Hello Remus," she hugged him too. He look surprised and slightly nervous, like he was hugging a relative that he rarely saw at a family gathering. Andromeda looked at him sympathetically.

"How are you holding up?" she asked. He nodded feebly.

"I'm alright, thank you."

"Maybe he would be better," Tonks said loudly, "if people didn't ask him how he was all the time." Andromeda turned to her.

"Well I'm ok too, Dora, but thank you for asking. Dumbledore," she said his name with a tone of obvious dislike, "is waiting for you all around the other side of the castle." She took a long look at Harry who swallowed hard and looked at the floor.

"And you must be Harry." She offered her hand as he nodded. She leaned towards him and said to him quietly, "Am I allowed to ask you how you are?" He smiled politely and nodded.

"I'm ok, thanks."

As the group made its way around the grounds of Hogwarts, Harry began to feel more and more like he was in a dream. His limbs felt heavier with every step he took and his scar had begun to throb with a pain he didn't want to deal with. He could see Dumbledore up in the distance, shadowed by the obvious form of Hagrid. They were stood in the shelter of the tree that he, Ron and Hermione often sat under; the same tree Sirius, and his friends had sat under in Snape's memory, all those years ago. Harry had a huge desire to just stop in his tracks, and run as fast as he could in the other direction. However, he decided against it; for one reason he guessed someone would follow him and bring him back, and the other reason was that he simply didn't trust his legs to do the job properly. He glanced at Tonks who looked as if she too was considering a quick escape. He took her arm supportively. Around twenty wooden chairs had been brought out onto the grass, facing the tree. Harry took his seat reluctantly, as if it were some sort of sentence. He knew now that there was no running away. This was it. It was time to say goodbye.


	9. Goodbye

Dumbledore cleared his throat. If it were to silence them there was no need for everyone sat calmly, all eyes were on him.

"Firstly, I want to thank you all for coming. I know that being here today has been hard on a lot of people but it shows a communal strength that we are all here together. Now, all of us here have been affected by the loss of a great man; Sirius Black."

_It's begun already_, Harry thought, _Run, run while you still have chance!_ "I am hoping that those who were close to him may be willing to say a few words," Dumbledore continued. _Oh, come on legs! Stand…run…do anything!_ Harry kicked the vacant chair beside him, just to check that he hadn't lost the ability of his legs completely. What if Dumbledore asked him to stand and say something? Could he? He didn't know what to say and hoped that, if the time came, words would come to him on the spot. Andromeda Tonks had risen from her seat. She didn't look at the crowd seated before her; instead she looked up to the tree above her.

"Well, Riu what can I say? Growing up with you was one of the most interesting experiences of my life. And it's unfair that we now have to say goodbye." She paused and took a loud breath in before continuing. "We've already lost so many years with you. Nothing about any of this is fair. I only hope that, wherever you are now, you're happy and you're free. I love you." She finished with a sigh and returned to her seat. And so it went on. Harry listened intently, feeling distinctly worse as each person spoke. He was running out of speakers and that it would soon be his turn. He knew he didn't have to speak, but he wanted to. And yet, he could not think of the words that would do his Godfather justice.

"Anybody else?" Dumbledore asked quietly as no one else moved.

"I'll go." Tonks had spoken without realising it. She rose wobbly from her seat and walked with relative confidence to the tree. When she was there she stood silent for some time, staring at her feet. Harry thought that perhaps she was talking in her head, until she began to speak aloud.

"Sirius… well… I promised him I wouldn't tell anyone one this, but over his dead body. So here it goes Riu… When I was eight years old Sirius made up a dance routine to Cher's Shoop Shoop Song and asked me to be his backing singer." A light ripple of laughter ran through the observers. "And I think that sums him up completely." She gave a sad smile and paused in thought. "I… it would be wrong of me to stand up here today and tell you all how much I love my cousin," Harry looked up sharply, worried what she was about to admit, "when I really should have told him first. I hope he knows… knew." She blinked rapidly. "I think he did…" She gave a quiet laugh. "When I was six he made me climb the tallest tree in our garden. Once we were up there I couldn't get down. He said to me 'T-Bird you have 3 options. You can attempt to get down all by yourself, I can go down first and catch you or I can stay up here and help you down. What do you want to do?' And I gave it a bit of thought. Considered jumping, you know me! And I said to him that I wanted him to go down and catch me. He said to me, and I'll always remember this, he said 'I might not always be there to catch you T-Bird. I want to be but I can't promise you that. I need know you'll be alright by yourself.'"  
She sniffed loudly. Silence rang through the grounds. "And I guess I'll have to be, won't I," she said to them, closing her eyes and causing tears to fall slowly down her cheeks. "Son of a bitch," she whispered bitterly. When she opened her eyes, she looked directly at the group and gave them her bravest smile. "Anyway, turns out that Riu pushed me, which I don't remember being an option personally." Harry smiled from his seat. Her breath quivered emotionally. "Well, I don't know what else to say except that, if Sirius is watching us now, he'll probably want us all to stop moping and go get pissed so that's what I plan to do." She walked back to her seat abruptly, leaving her friends agape.

Remus decided to stand next. As he neared the tree he looked at it as if the very sight of it brought so many memories flooding back. He shook his head slightly with a sad smile.

"Well, how can I follow that?" he asked. Tonks smiled at him. "I have many stories I could share with you, and if we had the time I probably would." His face suddenly became full of sorrow and he looked tired and old. "Sirius was my best friend, one of the closest friends I've ever had. I think we were all really lucky to have known him, and unfortunate enough to lose him… I don't really want to say much more than that, except that I loved him like a brother. I would give anything to get him back but I know I can't." He lowered his voice, as if hoping they wouldn't hear how much he was hurting inside. "I got him back once, but I know that's not going to happen again so I guess I'm going to have to get over it." He finished resentfully and, instead of going back to his seat he walked away. Harry began to get up but Hermione put a hand on his arm.

"Leave him, he'll come back when he's ready."

Having watched Remus walk off into the distance, Harry turned to find all eyes on him. He hesitated.

"Um, I don't actually have anything I want to say." He knew that this was untrue but there didn't seem to be any words to describe how his heart had been ripped out by the death of the man who was like a father to him. And even if he did know what to say, the words would be for Sirius alone, he told himself firmly. He would hear them one day.

The group began to disperse as the afternoon drew to a close. Tonks found herself breaking away from her friends in order to have a sneaky cigarette. She was half way through a drag when a voice behind her made her cough.

"Hi." It was Kingsley. His eyes moved from the cigarette back to his former Auror partner.

"Oh, I thought you were my mum. I'm only having one, honest. Dung gave it me," she lied, hoping he wouldn't see the box-shaped bulge in her trouser pocket.

"Just thought I'd come let you know that I'm heading off now."

"Oh right. I dunno when I'll get to see you again, so take care won't you." He nodded in promise.

"You too. Good luck with your new job. Lets hope you make a better teacher than Auror," he jested, trailing off as he saw her glance over his shoulder to the Forbidden Forest in the distance. Her forehead was crinkled slightly in a frown.

"What is it?" he asked, turning around to follow her gaze.

"Nothing, I just thought I saw someone that's all. It's probably nothing."

"Just a feeling?" he enquired.

"Yeah, something like that." He gave a light laugh.

"You're getting more and more like Mad-Eye every day. Well, I'd best get going. Keep in touch. I'm sure I'll see you soon." He sqeezed her shoulder and headed back to the castle. Tonks finished her cigarette, her eyes fixed on the spot in the trees where she had sworn she had seen somebody. As she glanced up to the castle, a white gold shimmer caught her eye. She looked again and was surprised at what it was or rather who it was.

"Hey," she called. The person turned and fled up the steps. "Wait. Stop!" Discarding her cigarette, letting the sparks dance off into the air, she headed towards the castle at a pace.

Once in the castle, Tonks had to squint. The corridor was a great deal darker compared to the summer light outside. She heard footsteps to the left and took after them. Then she saw her again.

"Would you wait? Please!" The woman carried on walking. "Narcissa!" she cried exasperatedly. The woman stopped. She turned around slowly.

"What do you want Dora?" Tonks froze. What did she want? She had chased her aunt half way around the castle and was now lost for words.

"What are you doing here Aunt Sissy?" she asked. Narcissa lowered her pointy face to the floor.

"I needed to know of it was true," she said bluntly. "I needed to know if he was dead." Her words echoed off the stone walls.

"Well he is," Tonks said in a small voice. Narcissa nodded.

"I know. And I'm sorry." Tonks looked up. "Don't get me wrong Dora. He was my cousin too. But he was foolish. I guess he paid for it, one way or another." She regarded her young niece for a moment. "You know, you look more like a Black than I thought you did. Just goes to show. I guess you might have it in you after all." She began to walk away again, and stopped. "I saw your mother. Don't tell her I was here." Her words were firm and Tonks could do nothing but nod. Her aunt disappeared from sight, leaving nothing but uneasiness in Tonks' heart.

Harry entered the Great Hall that evening to find one end of the long Gryffindor table set. He wasn't hungry at all, and didn't really feel like company, but Hermione had insisted that he eat something. Many of the Order members had left. Andromeda Tonks remained, with her daughter, the Weasleys, Hermione was there of course, Dumbledore and McGonagall had joined them, and Harry noticed that Lupin had also returned though he kept very quiet.

"Ah, Harry. Come join us," Dumbledore requested and he did as he was told. Placing himself between Hermione and Ginny, he helped himself to some pumpkin juice but refrained from drinking it once it was in his goblet. The tension in the group was unbearable. Tonks spoke first. Her voice seemed rather loud in comparison to the recent silence.

"Where was Dad today?" she asked her mother, as if they were discussing family matters at home in front of the television. Her mother's lips tightened.

"I don't think now's the time to talk about that, do you Dora?"

"I think now's a perfectly good time. Where is he…working? Couldn't be bothered? What?"

"He's busy at work if you must know." Andromeda's voice was unimpressed.

"What does your dad do Tonks?" Ginny asked, hoping to save her friend from her mother's glowering looks.

"He's a plumber-electrician." (Arthur looked up in interest.) "He started training to be a Healer at St Mungo's when he left Hogwarts but he dropped out of training when his twin sister got sick. When she died he just couldn't be bothered with the Wizarding world anymore." Ginny nodded, satisfied with the answer, and turned away wishing she hadn't asked.

"So, Tonks, are you looking forward to teaching at Hogwarts?" Professor McGonagall asked casually from the other end of the table.

"What?" Ron and Harry exclaimed together. The twins looked at each other in surprise. Hermione and Ginny's mouths hung open, stunned.

"Oh yeah, kinda forgot to mention that, didn't I."

"Kinda, yeah!" Ron agreed in astonishment.

"Well, I am. What do you reckon guys? You think you can put up with me as a teacher?" she asked, ignoring her mother's disapproving glare. Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny exchanged looks of disappointment. "Well, don't get too excited!" Tonks said cynically.

"No offence Tonks, but we don't exactly have a good record when it comes to DADA teacher's," Ginny explained. Fred laughed.

"Yeah, I give you a year. Nah, forget that, I doubt you'll even last the year!" Molly scolded him for his comment.

"Well, thanks for the vote of confidence guys!" Tonks said sulkily and continued to pout for a great length of time after.

Harry felt Dumbledore's eyes on him and shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He wanted nothing more than to go upstairs to his dorm, get into his four-poster bed and hide there. Harry smiled at the Headmaster politely, and looked at the table.

"I was just wondering Harry," Harry gave a cringe and looked back up, "if you were interested in knowing who Sirius had chosen to be your legal guardian." It was the first time anyone had mentioned Sirius all night. Harry froze. It hadn't occurred to him that Sirius would have thought about anything like that. It felt as if he was being passed on from person to person. He swallowed hard and nodded.

"Go on then," he said rather sharply, and hoped he hadn't sounded too rude.

"Lupin and Tonks," Dumbledore said simply. Harry blinked, taking the information in. Molly Weasley's face showed a brief flash of disappointment, before she turned to her husband to hide it. Tonks had raised her eyebrows. She now realised why Dumbledore had sent herself and Remus to collect Harry from Privet Drive, what seemed like forever ago. Remus spoke up, much to all of their surprise.

"I don't think that's a good idea," he said shortly. "Lily and James obviously didn't think I was capable of looking after Harry then. Why should I be now?"

"Well, Remus, it wasn't their decision, it was Sirius'. And if no one else objects to it then I don't see what the problem is. Tonks, do you have a problem with that?"

"Well, no. But I can hardly take care of myself, let alone someone else." She was annoyed to see her mother nod in agreement and quickly added. "But I'll do my best." She gave Harry a wink. Remus still looked unsure.

"Maybe you should choose someone else, Dumbledore. Molly and Arthur perhaps."

"No, Remus. Sirius has chosen you. Unless you refuse and then I suppose I'll have to choose someone else."

"When you've quite finished passing me around like I'm some sort of object!" Harry interrupted loudly, surprising even himself. "Although I am quite old enough to take care of myself," Molly began to disagree, "I can't think of two guardians I would want more," he finished with a grin; the first grin they had seen from him in a long time.

"Great. It's settled then." Dumbledore said firmly, ending the discussion.

Night fell upon the castle and the group said their farewells. Charlie had plucked up the courage to talk to Tonks, much to the amusement of his older brother. He saw her brace herself as he approached.

"Hi," he said brightly. She smiled at him.

"Hello, Charlie."

"We're off now so I thought I'd say goodbye. Haven't really had chance to talk to you today." There was a definite note of disappointment to his voice. "I guess I'll see you at the Order meetings though. And maybe you'd like to go out for a drink sometime." His face went as red as his hair. She gave him a smile and nodded.

"I'd like that very much," she told him.

"Great, well I guess I'll see you around." He hesitated then gave her a kiss on the cheek before running to catch up with Bill who was grinning madly, and gave him a jovial thump on the arm as he approached. She watched the brothers leave out of the large wooden doors, and then turned to see Harry talking to Lupin.

"Well, bye then Harry." Lupin was saying. "Take care of yourself. And stay out of trouble!" Harry nodded to him. _Hug him, hug him!_ Tonks thought. Remus offered his hand. _Aww, never mind,_ sheresigned glumly before approaching them. She managed to put her arms around Harry's neck from behind him, and rested her head on his shoulder. It was difficult, as he was so tall now. Remus smiled to her and turned to walk off.

"Hey! Don't I get a goodbye?" she asked indignantly, letting go of Harry and putting her hands on both hips.

"I'm sorry. Goodbye, Nymphadora." She stuck her tongue out at him and moved forward to hug him. He held her back, tighter than she had expected, then whispered something into her ear that Harry missed. She nodded to him and took his hand.

"Miss you already," she teased and he gave a small laugh. He let go of her hand and left the Entrance Hall without looking back at them. Before Harry could ask Tonks what Remus had said, Mrs Weasley came over to him and squeezed him too-tightly. Eventually Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny were left alone in the Entrance Hall. Ron turned to them.

"We have the whole castle to ourselves. What do you want to do?" The others exchanged glances. Hermione spoke up.

"Well I don't know about you lot, but I just want to go to bed." Harry had to agree. As he climbed into his bed half an hour later, he lay there thinking of the day's events. Many feelings towards Sirius would have been put to rest. However he knew that he, like his newly appointed guardians, was going to need a lot more time to heal.

A/N: Next chapter is Tonks' first lesson. Should be interesting. I hope she's planned it well :)


	10. Back to school

A/N: Just a little note. Have realised that Hogwarts students usually go back on a Sunday, therefore Sirius' memorial would have been on the Saturday. My bad! And also thanks so much for the reviews! They make me all warm and tingly inside :)

Harry woke the next morning feeling slightly disorientated. He blinked several times to get used to the sunlight and reached for his glasses. Ron, who was fully dressed and emptying the contents of his trunk onto the bedroom floor, looked up and gave Harry a grin.

"Alright mate? Thought you were going to sleep all day! Ginny's just been up. Her and Hermione are going down to get some food from the kitchens. Fancy a trip?" Harry rubbed his eyes, thinking it very strange for Hermione to want to put the House-Elves out of their way.

"Yeah, ok. Give us a minute."

They went down the spiral staircase to meet the girls. They both seemed a great deal happier than they had the day before.

"Morning Harry," Ginny said brightly. She had obviously forgiven him for putting Tonks through hell the previous morning.

"Afternoon," Hermione corrected, but she smiled. The four walked slowly together through the castle. It seemed so quiet without the rest of the students there. Of course, there had been times at Christmas when Harry had seen the castle empty, but to have the sun shining so brightly made it feel weird.

"Seen Tonks at all?" Harry asked and they all shook their heads. "We should go up and visit her in her new office later," he suggested.

"She's so sly! I can't believe she kept that from us," Ron exclaimed indignantly.

"I hope she lasts longer than a year," Ginny mused. They had reached the portrait of fruit, which concealed the entrance to the kitchen. Harry tickled a pear absently and waited for the kitchen to appear.

He was greeted with a squeal.

"Harry Potter! How good it is to see you!" Dobby came pelting towards them.

"Hi Dobby," Harry muttered, trying to shake Dobby off from his waste. "Good to see you too."

"We know you're busy getting the feast ready and everything, but could we get some sandwiches?" Ron was asking a nearby elf, who scampered away to do as he was told. "Please," he added quickly, feeling Hermione's glare on him.

"Dobby heard about your loss, Harry Potter. Winky and I send our deepest conveniences." He held out a bunch of yellowy brown flowers that had seen better days. Harry took them reluctantly.

"Thanks, Dobby." Dobby beamed at him.

"Winky picked them herself!" Harry didn't doubt that.

The four spent the rest of the afternoon unpacking their trunks and lazing by the lake, making the most of the summer before the start of term brought the autumn weather. Hermione and Ginny were paddling their feet in the cool water. They gave a shriek as Ron splashed them. Ginny took it upon herself to get payback. She shot after her brother, her legs just as lanky as his, and with Hermione's help managed to drag him fully clothed into the water. Harry gave a laugh which he hid quickly as Ron turned around. He didn't particularly want to join him.

"I'm off to see Tonks," he called to them after a while. He made his way back up to the castle, hearing Ginny's shrieks of protest in the distance. He paused outside the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom, thinking of it's many former inhabitants, and then gave a knock. There was no reply.

"Tonks?" he called. The door was unlocked. Harry crossed the empty classroom and stood at the bottom of the stone steps to the office. "Tonks? Are you up there?"

"She's not here." A voice made him spin around. Floating behind him was the translucent Nearly Headless Nick.

"Oh. Hi Sir Nicholas," Harry greeted him, and then paused. "Listen, about what happened at the end of term, I'm sorry. I just got a little over-emotional. I shouldn't have taken it out on you." The ghost's partially severed head wobbled as he shook it.

"Don't be silly, boy. It's understandable. I hope you've worked some things out over the summer." Harry nodded, feeling that he had.

"Well, I'd best be off," he said, though he didn't really have anywhere to be. "See you tonight."

Tonks didn't turn up for the rest of the day. Harry and friends had spent the rest of their free time outside, Hermione joining him by the tree while Ron and Ginny continued their water war. Professor McGonagall came out onto the grounds as the sun began to go in, and told them to get ready as the train was expected to arrive shortly.

"And watch Mr Filch doesn't catch you two dripping on the floors," she added to the Weasleys, their trademark red hair dark with water.

Ron gave a laugh as he and Harry changed into their robes.

"What's so funny?" Harry asked, curiously.

"Just wondering how Snape's gonna react to Tonks getting the Defence post. Can't wait to see the look on that creep's face!" Harry grinned in agreement.

As Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny entered the Great Hall, pupils had already started arriving. Luna Lovegood was sat at the Ravenclaw table. She watched them pass, her dazed eyes following them, and offered them a dreamy smile. As they reached their end of the Gryffindor table, Ginny broke away to sit with Dean Thomas. Ron glowered.

"Oh yeah, forgot about _him_."

"_Him_? He's your friend Ron," Hermione said impatiently, taking a seat. "Honestly, are you going to be like this with every boy Ginny sees?" Ron nodded firmly.

"Of course, she's my little sister!"

"What if she had gone out with Harry?" Hermione suggested. Harry coughed, wishing to be kept out of the conversation.

"Oh… well… that would have been ok," Ron said weakly. Hermione gave a twisted smile and turned to see the first years entering through the large wooden doors with Hagrid and Professor McGonagall.

"They are so titchy!" Ron exclaimed. Harry recalled him saying a similar thing the previous year. "I don't think I was ever that small."

The Sorting took place rather quickly, much to Harry's liking. He hadn't eaten much in the past few days. The Sorting Hat's song, though rather controversial the year before, turned out to be quite tame. Harry guessed that Dumbledore might have asked it to tone it down. The Hall fell silent as Dumbledore rose.

"Welcome to another year at Hogwarts. First Year's are reminded that the Forbidden Forest is out of bounds. I feel it necessary to emphasise this. Although it is aptly named for a reason, some students in the past have let the word Forbidden go over their heads." He gave a quick glance over to the Gryffindor table, and then continued. "As is the seeming tradition, we have a new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher; Professor Tonks." She crinkled her nose and shook her head as they gave her a round of applause. Snape looked seething. Harry had never seen Snape look as if he were about to throw up out of anger, or even haul the nearest heavy thing at Dumbledore in punishment for his stupidity. Dumbledore continued obliviously. "Do make her feel welcome. Now I feel I have spoken too long, please tuck in." Harry didn't need telling twice. He helped himself to a plateful of whatever was nearest. He heard Neville Longbottom, who was sat opposite him, ask a question all too loudly.

"Wasn't she with us at the Ministry?" Hermione hissed at him to keep quiet and Neville's cheeks flamed. He didn't speak for the remainder of the mealtime. Harry spared a glance over to the Slytherin table and wasn't surprised to see Malfoy sneering towards Tonks, wearing a similar look to Snape. He had also given a look of pure disappointment, when spotting Harry. Having not seen him on the train, Malfoy had probably guessed that Harry had been expelled or more hopefully killed. When all the food had gone, and the students became chatty once more, Dumbledore dismissed them to bed. In the commotion of children leaving, Harry decided to risk wandering over to the staff table.

"Alright 'Arry?" Hagrid asked as he passed, placing a heavy hand on the boy's shoulder and making his knees buckle. Harry nodded to his friend and made his way down the table to where Tonks was talking animatedly to the tiny Professor Flitwick.

"Hey there kiddo," she said, grinning at him. "What do you reckon, eh? _Professor_ Tonks! We'll have none of that!" she decided firmly. Harry grinned back at her.

"I came to see you today, but I couldn't find you," he told her. She looked sheepish.

"Ah, well you see… I was a tad hung-over. But that's just between you and me. It's this place...brings out the worst in me. Plus it was a bad day in general." Harry nodded his understanding. "But thanks for looking me up. You can come visit me anytime you want. Not that I'm prone to favouritism," she winked at him, "but what can you do?"

Harry said goodnight to her, and made his way up to the common room. He bypassed a group of nervous First Years, who were huddled in a corner. They gave him a look of curiosity, which he was much more grateful for than that of fear which he had received in previous years. He reached his dorm, feeling more tired than he had thought. He said goodnight to his roommates and went straight to bed, actually looking forward to the start of classes the next day.

Harry was no longer looking forward to classes.

"Oh great! Double Potions on a Monday morning. Kill me now!" Harry pleaded, throwing his timetable onto the long Gryffindor table. Ron looked at him sympathetically.

"Could be worse."

"That's easy for you to say. You aren't taking Potions any more." As much as Ron had liked the idea of becoming an Auror, when receiving his OWL results (most of which were above average.) he was reluctant to take on Potions for his NEWTS. Harry had been surprised at this; Ron was much better at Potions than he, himself, was.

"Look, we have Defence Against the Dark Arts this afternoon," Hermione pointed out. Harry snatched his timetable up from off the table. Sure enough, Hermione was correct. However, he wasn't sure if even a lesson with Tonks would cure the gloom that Double Potions was bound to cause.

Potions went reasonably well. Harry had to admit that he missed Ron. Hermione was there, constantly giving him words of support and telling him to 'be careful' when addressing Snape; a habit she had picked up after all of their years in class together. Harry missed Neville too. Now he was gone, Harry was made a mockery of more than usual. It wasn't as if Harry was bad at Potions, it was his hatred of Snape that caused him to make the amount of mistakes that he did. And Draco Malfoy did not help matters at all.

Snape had entered with his usual air of importance, however he looked more put out than usual. Hermione guessed it was to do with Tonks and Harry had to agree as Snape took his frustration out on him for the entire double period.

"It will not take long for you to notice," he addressed the class in his typical drone, "that NEWT level is extremely complex. There will be no room for silly mistakes." His eyes fell briefly on Harry. "And those who fall below my standards too many times may find themselves in a different classroom, taking another subject. You have been warned."

The lesson consisted of both theory and practical. Harry successfully made a cauldron of Calming Draught, much to Snape's obvious disappointment. Harry even felt confident when Snape set an essay to be handed in for next week; _Research the ways in which Calming Draught differs from Sleeping Draught; both structurally and in terms of effect._ He only hoped he felt as confident in a week's time when he handed it in and made a mental note not to put off homework to the last minute this year.

As lunchtime arrived, Harry found himself highly anticipating Defence Against the Dark Arts. He had always like the subject, (apart from the previous year, but who could blame him?) and he had always done well in his end of year exams.

It came as no surprise that many Year 6 students were taking DADA at NEWT level. Word of the war was spreading, as it had been for years. However, people were beginning to believe in what they were being told; Voldemort was back, and this time he was stronger than ever.

The class gathered outside the classroom door after lunch. Most pupils were chatting eagerly with each other about their new teacher.

"I think she looks really interesting," Lavender Brown was saying.

"Interesting is right," Malfoy muttered to Crabbe. Eventually, Ron got bored of standing around and tried the door. It was unlocked and he went in, followed by his fellow classmates. They took their usual seats near the back. Moments later the door swung open and Tonks entered. She didn't acknowledge the class.

"Wands away, books out." The room was silent. Mouths hung open. Neville glanced at Ron who looked bewildered and shrugged. Tonks turned to the class and grinned.

"Ha, you should have seen the looks on your faces! I've done that with every class today and you guys have taken the lead for best reaction." She jumped up onto her desk behind her, and then folded her legs underneath her. She wore a baggy pair of old jeans and a tight black t-shirt that had the words 'Muggle Lover' written in pink across her chest. Malfoy was looking at it in obvious disgust.

"Hey," she said to them as they settled down, looks of relief fading from their faces. "My name is Tonks." She pointed at the board with her wand and the word appeared in purple chalk. "Please don't call me Professor Tonks, it makes me sound like an old man!"This caused alaughed. "I will be attempting to teach you Defence Against the Dark Arts this year, but I guess you already know that." She jumped down from the table. "Right, first thing's first, I need to know what you've already learnt. I take it you've had some… interesting teachers since you started here," The side of her mouth quirked up in amusement. "And I'm not going to disappoint you by breaking that tradition. So… who wants to share the goss?" Ron's hand shot up, much to Harry's surprise; he had been expecting Hermione's hand to rise.

"Yes, Ron?"

"Well, last year Umbridge taught us nothing." The class laughed, including Tonks.

"Thanks for that Ron. It's good to know that your lessons can only improve this year. Anyone else?"

The discussion took most of the lesson. Harry was glad to see Tonks smiling again.

"Right, well I feel I've kinda got to know you all a bit better now. But when I next see you later in the week… Thursday is it… then we'll start lessons for real, ok? I'm going to be focussing mainly on practical. Sorry for all you Umbridge fans out there. I will set homework." There was a communal groan, "But it won't be often." Hermione's face fell. "Well, get going then poodles. I'll see you all on Thursday. Read a chapter or something, I dunno. Chapter 3, there you go," she called after them. Harry did not have chance to speak to Tonks after the lesson, she merely waved from the stairs to her office.

"That was interesting," Ron said as they headed up to Gryffindor common room.

"Yeah, should be fun this year, don't you reckon?" Harry replied.

"Yes," Hermione said quietly, though she seemed unsure. Although Tonks was her friend, Harry guessed that the homework comment hadn't gone down to well.

"I might go visit her tonight. See how she's settling in." Harry added. Hermione looked up sharply.

"Be careful though Harry, it might not be wise to parade the fact that you and Tonks are close." Harry frowned at her.

"I'm not going to 'parade'!" he said indignantly.

"Hermione, you worry too much," Ron stated, supporting Harry. She huffed loudly in response and went first through the hole behind the Fat Lady, and into the common room.

There was a knock at the door. Tonks guessed who it was.

"It's open, Harry." The boy entered sheepishly and grinned at Tonks, who was sat up on the windowsill looking out over the dark school grounds

"Sneaking down to a teacher's room at night, I'm going to get myself a reputation," he joked.

"You wish," she retorted, jumping down off the ledge with relative grace. They took a seat on her bed. Harry gave a glance out of the window.

"Thinking about Professor Lupin?"

"You know, he hates it when you call him that," she replied. "What makes you think I'm thinking of him?" Harry shrugged.

"The full moon always makes me think of him too," he said simply and she nodded. "You think he's ok?"

"I'm sure he will be, he can look after himself."

"I know. Doesn't stop me worrying though." Tonks thought the same.

"He worries bout you too, so I guess it's even." She must have seen something in his expression, for she continued. "Look, I hope you didn't take offence to what he said last night. To be honest I think he's more than pleased to be your guardian. I think he's just worried he'll screw up. Like you said, you've been passed around quite a bit."

"Let's hope you and he stick around," Harry said quietly. She gave a laugh.

"Oh I plan to, don't you worry. So, Mr Potter, how'd my first lesson go? Bet I can show Professor Lupin a thing or two!"

"You were great. I knew you would be. Don't feel you have to live up to high standards 'cause you don't. Just be yourself. Anyway, if you need help I'll be glad to lend a hand. I'm quite the teacher myself." They both laughed. Harry risked another look out of the window again.

"Do you think he's lonely?"

"Probably. Grimmauld Place is too big a house for one person. It made sense that he sold his flat though. And, as my name is on the deeds for the house, I'm letting him stay there as long as he wants."

"You own Grimmauld Place now?"

"Yup, till you turn 18. That's the deal. Then I'm out on the street I guess, so I'd best be nice to you hadn't I. You should be off to bed. Go on. Don't worry bout Remus, he'll be ok. Write to him, I'm sure he would like that. And we can visit during holidays. You can go back to take your Apperation test."

"Oh, yeah. Forgot about that."

"Go on, get going. Sweet dreams."

"Night Tonks. See you in the morning." He gave her a kiss on the cheek and left her alone again. Tonks took a deep breath and went back to her seat on the windowsill. Looking out at the pearly moon she began to feel, for the first time in her life, that she was going to enjoy life at Hogwarts.

A/N: Let's take a moment to think about how great Tonks is shall we? Ok, now that's done, you can review on your way out. :P I'm so cheeky. Toodles.


	11. Detention with Dora

A/N: Haven't put a disclaimer for a while. Harry Potter and co. are still not mine. Thanks for the reviews, they make my day!

**_Dear Professor, _**Lupin smiled as he saw the previous word scribbled out,**_ Remus,  
_****_Hi, how's it going? I know that term's only just started but I thought I'd just write to you to see how you're doing. I know that things have been tough on us both recently, and I know that you're the one who's supposed to take care of me, but if you ever need to talk or anything just let me know. I'm a good listener; any friend of Hermione's would have to be! Our new teacher's settled in nicely. _**Remus smiled**_. I'm looking after her too. She say's I might be able to visit you sometime, which should be good. The other day she tried to teach us a defensive spell against Distraction Charms. Needless to say it didn't go so well, as I can't even remember the name of it and spent most of the lesson staring out the window while our ever-so-useful teacher taught the girls how to curl their hair with their wands. _**He gave a laugh at this.**_ Hope you're not too lonely. Write back if you feel like it. _**Remus thought he would.**_ I should really get on with my homework now. Hermione says I'm procrastinating (is that spelt right?) but I'm not entirely sure what that means so I just agreed. Stay well. See you around,  
_**_**Best,  
**__**Harry.**_

The letter had been unexpected but welcome. The full moon had taken a toll on him, more so than usual. Remus had spent the day after his transformation staring into the bottom of a glass, wishing he didn't ache so much and that Molly Weasley would stop cleaning around him like he was a piece of old furniture. _Old is right_, he had thought to himself miserably. Then Hedwig had arrived that evening, staring at him impatiently with her large amber eyes as if to say, 'Yes, it's for you!' Remus had read the letter and re-read it several times. It didn't say much; on the contrary it was rather brief, what with the risk of mail being intercepted. However, what it did say lightened his heart every time he read it, so much so that he reached for a piece of parchment after about the fifteenth time of reading the letter, as if he had suddenly gained inspiration from it.

**_Dear Mr Potter,_ **he scribed as a joke and then scratched it out to write his name, **_Harry,_  
****_Thank you very much for your letter, it was unexpected but very much appreciated. _**He paused, thinking of what to write next.** _I am ok, not my best I must admit, there's no point pretending as I have no doubt that you would see straight through it. I will be fine though, so don't you worry. I'm glad things are going well with your new teacher. She sounds rather interesting; perhaps I could meet her some time. However, I will be seriously disappointed if she knocks me off the top spot for favourite teacher. You are welcome to visit me any time you feel like it (except during term time of course!) _**He stressed this firmly. **_Look after yourself, and stay out of trouble. Give my best to Ron, Hermione and Ginny. Write again soon, it's good to hear from you.  
_**_**Take care,  
**__**Remus.**_

It was a rainy Sunday morning in October. Harry lay static in bed. He had had a dream, or rather a nightmare. The same long corridor that had plagued his dreams for so long the year before was back, along with re-enactments of the night in the Department of Mysteries. It flashed before his eyes like still images. Black and white and silent. But it ended differently. There in front of him on the stone dais lay his friends, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Luna, Neville; they were all dead, unmoving in this bizarre film-like scenario. He turned around to the towering stone steps. The Order members were there too, also lying motionless. The air was thick and Harry felt sick with fear. Then he heard a laugh, a cold and eerie laugh that echoed around the stone amphitheatre like thunder. He looked up and there she stood, Bellatrix Lestrange, her hollow eyes piercing down on him even from a distance.

"_Now, it's your turn."_

Harry had woken suddenly. He still felt queasy and got out of bed slowly to prevent it from going any further. His dorm was empty, though it was still relatively early. The common room was sparsely occupied, and not one of the students acknowledged Harry as he made his way through the room and out of the portrait hole.

He walked slowly into the Great Hall and down to the Gryffindor table. Ginny was there alone, eating toast and flicking through the pages of the Daily Prophet. She looked up as he neared.

"Oh hey, there you are." She frowned as she saw the expression on his pale face. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"I need to talk to you." She nodded and went to move up in her seat. "No, not here. Meet me in the Room of Requirement in half an hour. Bring Luna if you can get hold of her." Ginny nodded, the quizzical look on her face still apparent as he turned and left the way he came.

Ron and Hermione met Ginny, Luna and Neville outside the Room of Requirement. Each wore a look of confusion and nervous anticipation. Harry joined them a moment later and, having thought of a place where he could converse comfortably, opened the door and entered without speaking to any of them.

Two leather sofas were placed in the centre of the room. Harry took a seat and the others copied him. Hermione spoke up.

"What's this about Harry? Are we having a D.A meeting?" She looked to the door, expecting a group of students to enter as she spoke. However, Harry shook his head and waited until they were all settled before speaking. He took a deep breath.

"I've been meaning to do this for a couple of weeks now, but I've put it off. I had a dream last night and I know now that I can't put it off any longer." His friends were staring at him, concerned. He continued. "What happened last term…" he sighed in annoyance. "I know what I want to say, but I don't know how to say it." He put his head in his hands in frustration. "What happened at the Depart… at the Ministry, it shouldn't have happened. I think we all know that. But it did, and … because of my stupidity … you guys could have been killed." Hermione began to intervene but he raised his hand to silence her. "No Hermione, you were right. You were right all along, you always are. And I should have listened to you, to all of you. I put your lives in danger because I'm too reckless for my own good." He lowered his head, tears threatening to fall.

"No Harry," Ron spoke up quietly. "We chose to come with you, and I wouldn't have had it any other way. You're my best mate, and I would go with you anywhere, no matter what the risk."

"And me," Hermione said.

"Me too," Ginny agreed. Neville nodded and Luna gave a brave smile.

"Thank you," Harry whispered, aware of the tears now falling down his cheeks. He wiped them away with his sleeve and felt Hermione rub his back. "I only wish things could have been different. I was foolish, and irresponsible, and believe me I've paid for it!" He stopped and began to sob uncontrollably. Hermione pulled him into a hug. Ron looked away uncomfortably. Ginny went over to a sideboard to fetch a box of tissues. She handed them to Harry.

"Thanks," he mumbled into his sleeve. When he had calmed down and taken a few deep breaths he looked up at them all.

"I guess what I want to say is that I'm sorry for the pain I caused you and thank you for risking your lives for me. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you guys."

"It was an honour," Luna said proudly and Harry gave her a little smile.

"And, although I've lost someone so close to me," he heard Hermione give a little sob next to him, "At least I should be thankful that you are all ok. And I hope you can forgive me."

"Nothing to forgive, mate," Ron said firmly. Harry smiled weakly. He was so overwhelmed by this feeling of friendship that all he could do was nod. Seeing his friends there before him, alive and happy, made him feel another step nearer to closure.

It was nearing half term. The school was buzzing with a need for a well-earned break. To Harry it seemed like a lifetime since summer. The weather had changed dramatically, and the castle seemed to have been surrounded by rain clouds constantly for the past month. Harry entered his Defence Against the Dark Arts lesson, barely finding the energy to make it to his seat. He noticed that Tonks looked in need of a well-deserved rest. She yawned as the class entered and adopted her usual position the desk with her legs crossed under her.

"Morning, afternoon or whatever. Was gonna have a theory lesson today but I'm worried I'll fall asleep, as some of you guys would by the looks of things. So, change of plan, we are going to start on Reflection Spells today. They are another way of returning an opponents attack, without gaining injury to yourself…hopefully," she added. "Now, if we are doing this correctly it is likely that you will receive your own spell back at you. This is why we are only going to practice using a Stunning Spell, ok? Listening, Parvati?" she asked loudly, causing Parvati to stop her whispered conversation with Lavender and turn a deep shade of red. "Good. Now, can I have a volunteer? Hello? Nobody? Fine then I'll have to choose someone myself." Harry would have offered if he weren't feeling so lousy, and shrunk in his seat in the hope that Tonks would pass him by. "Draco, will you join me at the front please?" Her cousin looked up, startled. His grey eyes shifted warily. "I just need you to demonstrate, is that ok?" He nodded, not wanting to appear unconfident.

"Yes, I suppose so." He sauntered up to the front of the class and turned to face Tonks. His eyes flitted from her spiky pink hair to her eyes, which matched. He suppressed a shudder.

"Right," Tonks was saying. "You'd best try it out on me first. You say Stupefy at me and I'll rebound it back to you by saying Reflecto Proprietor, ok?" Draco nodded. Harry was please to see that he looked rather nervous. "Right, I'll give you a count of three."

"Is that on three or after three?" Draco asked her quickly and she nodded.

"Yes that's right," she said absently, tripping over her chair as she made space for them out front. "Ok, every one watching? Ready Draco? Ok let's go. One… two…thr"

"Stupefy!" Draco yelled. Tonks barely raised her wand in time, and only partly managed to deflect the spell. It hit her, causing her to fall backwards and hit her back against the desk. Hermione and Lavender ran from their seats.

"What's the matter with you, Malfoy? Can't you count?" Ron shouted angrily. Malfoy just stood there, looking both stunned and horrified. The look faded as he saw Tonks get up unharmed.

"I'm ok. Sit down Ron. It was an accident, wasn't it Draco?" he nodded eagerly and returned to his seat, hoping his fellow-Slytherins hadn't noticed his moment of worry. Goyle was giving him a questioning glance, which he shrugged off.

"Perhaps, we should move on," Tonks said, rolling her shoulders back and wincing slightly in pain. Harry felt guilty and wished he had volunteered. He glanced heatedly at Malfoy.

"Problem, Potter?"

"Yeah, you!" he hissed in return.

"Sorry, didn't mean to hurt your girlfriend. What's Granger think of you're love affair? Jealous?" Harry gave a glance to see if Tonks was in earshot before retorting.

"Why? Are you?"

"Yeah right! She's a Mud-Blood and all! They'll get what's coming to them soon enough."

"Shut up!" Harry hissed again, feeling his anger bubbling up inside.

"What kind of Auror can't even deflect a Stunning Spell?" he asked Goyle loudly, who gave a chuckle of agreement. "Not a very good one, that's what. If my father knew about this freak teaching classes –"

"Well you're father's not around now is he Malfoy!" Harry hadn't taken Malfoy's 'freak' comment too well. Draco glared at him furiously.

"And whose fault's that, Potter. Touched a nerve did I? Don't like our precious Dora being called a freak do we?" he sneered.

"Shut up!"

"What's going on back there?" Tonks called from across the room. Harry looked at the desk to hide the heat that had risen in his cheeks.

"Nothing," he replied.

"Don't know why she's so pally with you though Potter," Malfoy continued. Harry wished he wouldn't. "Didn't you kill our cousin, Sirius Black?"

Harry was out of his chair before Ron had time to grab him.

"Harry, no!" Hermione cried. Ron tried to hold him back, but Harry knocked him over and proceeded to drag Malfoy off his chair. Crabbe and Goyle began to intervene when Tonks made her way through the tables and managed single-handedly to split the boys up. Malfoy's lip was bleeding, but he continued to smirk.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Tonks yelled as Harry went for Malfoy again. "What the hell is going on?" Neither of the boys replied. The bell rang out in the corridor. "Off you go guys, she called over her shoulder. Then she lowered her tone. "You two, up to my office now!"

They did as they were told, Harry still breathing heavily out of anger. Tonks slammed the door behind them and went to her desk, though she didn't sit down.

"Does one of you want to tell me what just happened?" She asked after a pause. "Well?"

"He started it," Draco exclaimed.

"That's not what I asked." When they continued with their silence she sighed angrily. "Right, detention tonight for both of you."

"But I have Quidditch tonight," Draco protested.

"I don't care. You two make a scene in my lesson and it'll be the only time you do it, do I make myself clear?" Both boys nodded. "Good, then you'll be back here for six. Don't be late or I'll keep you longer!" she added as Malfoy headed straight for the door. Harry stared at Tonks in disbelief. "Go on, then." He turned on his heels and headed out of the door without giving her a second glance.

"Good, you're both here," Tonks said later that evening as she entered her classroom to find Malfoy and Harry sitting at opposite sides. She seemed a great deal chirpier than she had when they had last seen her. "Lemon sherbet?" She offered Harry an open bag. He looked at her.

"Who are you, Professor Dumbledore?" he asked cynically.

"Look, do you want one or not?"

"Yes, please," he muttered, helping himself. Draco shook his head when offered.

"Suit yourself," Tonk said, popping a sweet into her mouth. "Right, I'm not gonna lie to you, you two pissed me off today and I'm not having it. So you can say you're sorry to me and to each other."

"No way!" Malfoy and Harry argued simultaneously.

"He attacked you!"

"It was an accident, Harry."

"Tonks, he called you a freak!"

"You insulted my father!"

"And with good reason!" Harry yelled.

"Enough! You two must learn to resolve you're differences."

"Why?" Harry pressed. "He's related to a Death Eater!"

"And so am I," Tonks said quietly, shocking both of them. Draco shook his head and gave a laugh.

"You two have no idea what you are dealing with," he said bitterly. "You know Dora, Mum was right. You are on the wrong side of this war and you know it."

"You're out of line, Draco."

"I'm not saying it as a student, I'm saying it as family!"

"You're not her family," Harry muttered testily.

"Well you certainly aren't, Potter!" Malfoy spat. They glared at each other across the room. Tonks sighed and ran a hand across her scarlet eyes. She was tired and really couldn't be doing with two teenage boys staring daggers at each other. She told them so.

"I'm fed up. I give in. Argue all you want, I don't care. You're just wasting your own time. But you are not to even consider pulling another stunt like that in my class or you'll be very sorry, do you hear me?" They both nodded. "Good, well get going, the pair of you. Draco you might even make your Quidditch practice after all." He turned and left, quickly and quietly.

"As for you, Mr Potter. Please don't piss me off again because I really don't like my voice like this!" she squeaked and he laughed.

"I'm sorry Tonks," he said and she knew he meant it. "He just said some stuff about Sirius, I guess I just got carried away. It won't happen again. At least not in your lesson," he added. She sighed impatiently but grinned and batted him away with a hand.

"Go on, get." He helped himself to another lemon sherbet before disappearing out of the classroom.

Tonks was bored, very bored. She had heaps of marking to do, not that it really appealed to her. In fact, the closest she had gotten to starting it was picking up her pink felt tip pen and twirling it between her fingers. Discarding her pen, she decided to postpone the marking and got on her hands and knees in front of the fireplace in her office. She grabbed some Floo powder and threw it into the hearth, creating green flames.

"Ministry of Magic, Level 2, Auror Headquarters, Kingsley Shacklebolt's office." She managed to say the long destination with relative clarity, and then stuck her head into the fireplace.

"Hello, anyone there?" she called. She heard a scraping of a chair and Kingsley's bald head came into view.

"Well, hello there Professor Tonks, what can I do for you?" he asked in his deep voice. She laughed.

"I'm bored. What you up to? Pulling a late one I see." He gave a tired laugh

"I'm having to work for this pay rise, you know!"

"Well, if you find yourself with a spare moment or two, there's a pile of essays on my desk that need marking."

"I'll pass, if that's ok. Try Lupin, I'm sure he wouldn't say no." Tonks gave a laugh, and considered it for a brief moment before dismissing the suggestion.

"How is he? I miss him."

"He's doing ok. Quiet, but when isn't he? He's been spending quite a lot of time with Lady Thompson." This prompted a memory in Tonks' mind. She had quite forgotten about the new member of the Order. She shifted uncomfortably on the floor before continuing the topic of conversation.

"Oh yeah, I meant to ask you about her. What's she all about?"

"Lady? I don't really know. From what I've overheard between Dumbledore and Lupin she was once a well respected member of her party, a sort of werewolf society. Then, when the truth about Voldemort came out it split the group up and she was forced out. Can't really tell you much more than that. Dumbledore seems to trust her anyway… I take it you don't," he added, seeing her crinkle her nose. Tonks wasn't too sure about Lady Thompson; she hadn't been from the moment they had met. She didn't want to judge, it wasn't as if she knew the woman at all, she just seemed a little too keen to get in with the Order. Then there was the constant staring, which was enough to creep anybody out. Tonks shook her head and shrugged.

"I dunno, guess we'll just have to wait and see how good her intentions are." Kingsley gave a deep rumble of a laugh that caused ashes to rise in the fireplace.

"Your paranoia would make Moody proud. Constant vigilance and all that! Anyway, I'd best get back to work if I want to leave here before midnight. Thanks for the chat. I'll see you at the next meeting."

"Yeah, see ya," she replied as he disappeared. From her position on the floor, the mountain of marking loomed over her ominously from her desk. Her only relief was that it would soon be half term, and that she might even persuade Remus to help her after all. Part of her very much doubted this. She crossed the room tiredly and extinguished the lights as she exited, leaving the pile of parchment in the dark for another day.

A/N: This chapter didn't flow very well but the next one will be better I swear. It's been in the planning process since this fic began and will probably be my favourite so far. I'm still working on it though, I hope you enjoy it.


	12. The werewolf, the witch and the wardrobe

A/N: Thanks again for the reviews :)

Tonks wandered down the dark hallway of Grimmauld Place. She heaved a sigh as she walked. The house always depressed her, even before Sirius had died. There was just something so dark about it. The weather wasn't making matters easier. It was a Saturday afternoon and the wind was howling loudly around the house, rain was drumming the windows heavily, threatening to break them. Tonks saw Harry's bedroom door ajar as she passed, light was spilling through the gap. She pushed the door open further to see Harry sat on his bed, book open and quill in hand. He looked up as she entered.

"Wotcher kid, you ok?" He nodded and looked back down to his work. "Is something bothering you?" Harry gave a shrug.

"Nah, just thinking about something Professor Dumbledore said to me at the end of last term." _Neither can live while the other survives_, Harry had a hard time getting that sentence out of his head.

"You want to talk about it?" she asked him, remaining in the doorway. Harry felt that he didn't and shook his head.

"No thanks."

"Ok, well if you ever want to chat, you know where I am." She turned to leave.

"Has Remus turned up?" he called after her, making her stop. Harry had been disappointed when he arrived at Grimmauld Place that morning to find Remus wasn't there. He saw Tonks shake her head.

"No, don't know where he's got to. He'll turn up, he always does. Maybe he's gone for a walk or something. It must get pretty boring and lonely here. Maybe we should get him a dog." Harry looked up at her sharply, wondering if she had realised the significance of her words. She smiled back at him and he guessed that she probably did.

"Well H, I'll leave you to it. Don't work too hard." She winked and closed the door behind her.

As she entered the kitchen she paused, seeing the top of a familiar red head.

"Don't you have a home to go to?" she joked as she descended the stairs. Charlie looked up at her.

"Hi, Professor Tonks," he teased. "Yes I do have a home, but Mum and Dad have gotten into another row about Percy. Sometimes it's just nice to escape." Tonks nodded in understanding. "You back for half-term?" he asked her.

"Yeah, probably wouldn't have but Harry has his Apperation exam at the end of the week so he's here too. He's upstairs doing his homework. Crazy if you ask me, but Hermione's a good influence on him."

"Yeah, but obviously not on Ron," Charlie pointed out. He poured himself some Firewhiskey and offered her some. She shook her head.

"No thanks, I try not to touch the stuff often. My dad had a problem with it once." Tonks very rarely shared that with anyone, but it just came out. Charlie seemed like such an easy person to talk to. The couple spoke long into the afternoon, discussing work and Order business. Harry didn't come down all day, and Tonks was disappointed to see that Remus hadn't turned up.

"Have you seen him recently?" she asked Charlie, who had shook his head.

Night began to fall, though it wasn't obvious in the windowless kitchen. Tonks looked at her watch.

"Guess I should be getting something ready for tea. You staying?" However, a crash from above them interrupted a reply.

"Harry," Tonks said immediately, grabbing her wand and heading for the stairs. Charlie followed her, wand also out.

"Harry, is that you?" Tonks called. There was no reply. "Hello?" she called again. Thunder rumbled overhead, sending a shiver down her spine. She glanced at Charlie who shrugged.

"Must have been nothing."

"Charlie, it can't have been nothing," Tonks persisted moving along the corridor.

As she reached the top of the second staircase, thunder could be heard again. This time Tonks frowned.

"Did you hear that?"

"It was thunder." Unsure, Tonks shook her head. "Well, what else could it be?" Tonks didn't have time to give him a suggestion for, at that moment, a shrill howl echoed around the house.

"Oh, Jesus!" Tonks whispered. _What day was it?_ Charlie's eyes widened. "Come on, we gotta get out of here." As she turned she caught a glimpse of movement down the far end of the corridor. Two large amber eyes glared at them, and a row of bared teeth shone in the moonlight through the far window. Tonks gave a small gasp and turned to Charlie who was rooted to the spot. She pushed him.

"Move Charlie. Now!" The pair started back down the stairs just in time. A brown haired wolf leapt at them, moving faster than they ever could. Tonks wasted no time in looking at it further. Her legs were moving fast and she knew it was inevitable that she would trip. Surely enough, she did. She rolled onto the carpeted floor, cursing herself. She scrambled up and looked around for Charlie who has disappeared down a side-corridor. Whimpering as she heard the scratching of claws on the floor in the distance, she chose the right hallway. Tonks hoped that she would catch up with Charlie; she hated the house for being so big. She came to a halt at a dead-end. There was nothing but a tall, blackened window and an old wardrobe. Not wanting to be trapped there when the werewolf arrived, she spun around to find somewhere else to hide, and bumped into something solid. She screamed and a cold hand went over her mouth.

"Tonks! Shh it's me. It's me," Charlie whispered. He kept his hand over her mouth and they listened. Another howl rang in their ears, this one more blood-curdling than the last. Tonks' heart was beating very fast and she could see Charlie's chest rising and falling heavily in the semi-darkness. He abandoned any ideas of an escape route and grabbed Tonks' wrist forcefully. He wrenched open the old wardrobe door and pushed her in, before joining her. Luckily, the wardrobe was empty, though it smelt of Doxys and mould. Tonks had to admit that she couldn't remember ever using the corridor, or knew that the wardrobe was even there, but she was glad it was. She was very aware of how close Charlie was to her, but didn't allow herself to enjoy the situation. His breath tickled in her ears and she suppressed a little shudder.

"Guess we found Remus," he breathed raggedly.

"This isn't funny Charlie." She was worried, not for herself but for Harry. She only hoped that he had remained in his room with the door firmly shut. "We have to get out of here and get to Harry. Can you Apperate from in here?" She felt him shake his head. "No me neither. Ok, when it sounds like the coast is clear we'll get out of here and Apperate up to Harry's room. Then there's just the small matter of getting Harry down to the kitchen and Flooing him somewhere."

"We can take him to the Burrow," Charlie suggested. They stood uncomfortably in the wardrobe for another moment or two. Tonks' legs were beginning to cramp, and she kept feeling Charlie's hand brush past the lower of her back though she didn't mention it.

"I think it's safe to leave," she whispered and pushed the door open slowly. It creaked and she gave a little wince. Once in the hallway, they gave each other significant looks and Apperated upstairs.

Harry had heard the howls. He had jumped to his feet and grabbed his wand before remembering the new rule he had set for himself; _I will not be so reckless, I will not play the hero._ He had then bolted his door shut and sat on his bed, wondering what the hell was going on downstairs. Harry had been twiddling his wand absently in between his fingers, when Tonks and Charlie had arrived in his room. He jumped and dropped his wand. Tonks went to speak but he cut in.

"I know, I know…constant vigilance! What's going on?" he added, seeing the worried looks on their faces.

"We're leaving, Harry. Grab a jacket. Have you got your wand?" He picked it up off the floor and nodded.

"Is Remus –"

"Harry, we don't have time to discuss this. We'll talk when you're safe ok?" Harry nodded again and got up off his bed. Charlie reluctantly opened the door and went first. Harry was pushed out next and then followed by Tonks who was gripping her wand so tightly that her knuckles were white. Every so often a floorboard would creak causing Tonks to glance around warily. They reached the corridor with the drawing room on, without so much as a growl to be heard. That was perhaps as scary, as they had no idea where the werewolf could be.

"It's very quiet," Harry voiced his concern, "I hope Buckbeak's ok." Tonks turned to him incredulously.

"I've got an idea. Let's use the fire in the drawing room." Charlie led the way and they were just at the door when the clicking of claws on wood made all three of them spin around. There, behind them, stood the werewolf. It raised itself on its hind legs and bared its teeth viciously. Then, before any of them could blink, it lashed out with a front paw, knocking the three of them to their feet. Harry's arm had been scratched and was already bleeding heavily. Charlie and Tonks got up immediately and dragged Harry backwards into the drawing room. Charlie tried to push the door shut, but the werewolf's muzzle came through the gap. It snarled as Charlie added pressure to the door, but refused to move. Tonks kicked out at the werewolf hard, causing it to coil back in pain. Charlie slammed the door quickly and locked it with a spell.

"Did it bite you?" Tonks asked Harry immediately. He shook his head.

"No, I don't think so."

"You'd better be sure!" she pressed.

"I am. It didn't, no."

They stood there staring at each other, listening to the growls growing in frustration, as the door would not budge.

"He's gonna hate me for that in the morning," Tonks sighed lightly.

"He?" Harry asked, frowning. "Wait a minute, you don't think that's Remus do you?" Tonks and Charlie exchanged glances. "Because Lupin's wolf is grey. That one is brown." The room was very still, save for the constant scratching on the door. Tonks wondered when Harry had ever seen Lupin in his wolf form but decided that now was not the time to ask.

"What does it matter," Charlie said after a while. "Let's just get you out of here." They crossed to the fireplace. Tonks put her hand into the Floo Powder pot and brought it out immediately.

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me!" she cried in exasperation. The pot was empty. "Damn it! Now what are we going to do?" The door creaked threateningly under pressure. Tonks looked pale with fear and her grip tightened on Harry's shoulder causing him to wince.

"Ok, here's the plan," said Charlie suddenly. "We open the door and stun him… it…whatever, just long enough for me to run in the opposite direction from the kitchen to distract it. Then you two can sneak past it down to the kitchen and Floo to the Burrow and I'll Apperate once I think you're there." Tonks had to admit it was a very risky plan but it was the only one they had.

"Ok, but be careful Charlie." She raised her wand as they went to the door. She took a deep breath. "Run when I say Harry, ok? Don't try anything," she muttered. He nodded and stood behind her as Charlie went for the handle. He wrenched the door open.

"Stupefy!" she yelled and the werewolf was knocked back, it whimpered slightly and shook it's head, dazed.

"Now, Harry! Go!" Harry didn't need telling twice. He leapt over the shuddering wolf, followed by Tonks who turned briefly to Charlie and yelled, "Be careful!" before darting after Harry. Confused, the wolf chased Charlie who was last to leave the room.

Tonks and Harryreached the kitchen stairs. Tonks was shaking, Harry noticed. He started down the stairs but stopped, and put his arm out. Tonks bumped into him.

"Harry," she hissed, "What are you waiting for?" But Harry didn't answer; his eyes were fixed on a shape in the corner of the kitchen. A grey wolf appeared from the shadows and Tonks took a step back up the steps. She didn't know what to do. Now there were two of them! She quickly thought of yet another plan; back up the stairs and out of the front door. Tonks was just about to suggest this when Harry continued to walk down the stairs.

"What are you doing?" she cried as quietly as possible. She followed him, trying to grab him back and catchingthe newly made wound on his arm. The werewolf could clearly smell the blood as it took a step closer.

"Oh no you don't!" Tonks said, putting herself in front of Harry.

"It's ok, Tonks." She thought he sounded more reassured than he should be. Tonks kept eyeing up the distance to the hearth across the room and hoped that there was some Floo Powder to be found close by. At that moment the grey wolf let out a howl; it was not as bloodthirsty as the previous wolf's but terrifying none-the-less. It was then echoed by a howl upstairs. Harry turned to Tonks, his eyes wide.

"Oh shit!" he exclaimed. The brown wolf stood at the top of the stone steps. It spotted the grey wolf and charged at it ferociously. Tonks gave out a scream and pulled Harry out of the way. They both landed with a thud on the cold stone floor. Tonks had hit her head and she felt hot blood trickle down the side of her face. She gave a groan as Harry tried to pull her onto the kitchen table. The wolves' jaws collided viciously. All the while they fought, the brown-haired wolf kept glancing at Harry, who suddenly realised what they were fighting about. Him, his blood, his flesh. He no longer wanted to stick around. Climbing over the other side of the table, he reached for the Floo-Powder Pot and was glad to feel its contents between his fingers. He looked over at Tonks, who was staring transfixed at the two wolves.

"Tonks come on let's get out of here!" But Tonks didn't move.

"No, Harry. If he kills her he'll never forgive himself." She jumped off the table and grabbed a frying pan from above the stove. Then she turned to the mass of fur and teeth, and raised the pan above her head. _Get the right werewolf_, she reminded herself as she lowered it down with all the strength she could muster. Metal hit skull with an almighty thud that shook Tonks to her core. The female wolf yelped in pain and pounced on Tonks, knocking her over. Harry yelled out and went for his wand. He looked up just in time to see the Lupin-wolf knock the female off of Tonks and snap at her throat. The wolf went for Tonks again, but the Lupin-wolf stood in front of the human, his teeth bared, protecting her.

"Let's go now, Tonks!" Harry called again, and this time she listened. Harry grabbed a handful of green powder and yelled "The Burrow!" He disappeared in a puff of green smoke. Tonks took one last look at the grey wolf and followed Harry into the fire, leaving the two wolves to fight into the night.


	13. You silly man!

Professor Dumbledore stood outside of The Burrow, taking in his surroundings. A faint smile touched his lips; he had always loved the house, it gave off a warm feeling of family life, even from the outside. The morning was fresh, in great contrast to the previous evening. Ever patient, Dumbledore refused to knock again. With a family as big as the Weasleys it was likely at least one person was in. He turned to his companions, smiling apologetically. The sound of the door being opened caused him to turn back around.

"Ah Molly, good morning. I was wondering if I could come in and have a chat with Harry." Molly Weasley smiled at Dumbledore fondly. She wore one of a variety of aprons and her red hair was up in a scarf. Noticing Dumbledore's two followers, she hesitated before opening the door wide for them.

"Of course."

Remus Lupin and Lady Thompson followed Dumbledore into the kitchen. Molly didn't give them a second glance as she shut the door behind them. The kitchen was small but cosy. A long wooden table stood in the centre of the room, taking up the majority of the space. The occupants of the room looked up at the new arrivals. Nymphadora Tonks lowered her mug from her lips to whisper something to Charlie Weasley. He simply shook his head and gave her a warning glance. Fred Weasley was also in the kitchen, eating his breakfast. A spoonful of cereal hovered precariously in front of his face as he watched the three people enter the kitchen.

"Fred, would you mind if we had a moment alone," Dumbledore asked him. Fred's spoon lowered back into his bowl with a chink and he pushed it to the centre of the table. He got up noisily, making no attempt to hide his annoyance, and trundled up the wooden steps. Dumbledore then turned back around to Molly, who was watching Remus and Lady carefully.

"Molly, would you please fetch Harry."

"I'll see if he's awake," she said curtly and followed her son up the stairs. Tonks took the opportunity to talk.

"What's she doing here?" she asked Dumbledore, but her eyes were fixed on Lady.

"Dora," Charlie said quietly in warning. Remus, who had been avoiding any glares by staring at the floor, had looked up on hearing this. _Dora?_ He wasn't exactly sure what that implied but it gave him a little pang of jealousy and he didn't like it. He noticed a large blue bruise down the side of Tonks' face and looked away. Harry's approaching footsteps broke the silence. He swung off the wooden banister with one arm and stopped abruptly as he saw the situation in front of him.

"What's she doing here?" he asked, echoing Tonks' question. Dumbledore merely smiled at the boy.

"Sit down please, Harry." Harry did as he was told and Dumbledore joined him, as did Lupin and Lady. Silence fell once more, and glances were given across the table. It was an unbearable situation. Dumbledore spoke first.

"Would anyone care to explain what happened last night?" No one looked up, let alone replied. "Tonks?" Dumbledore said her name questioningly.

"What?" she asked, sharper than she had intended. Dumbledore just raised his eyebrows at her. She sneered at Lady. "Why don't you ask _her_?"

"I'm asking you." When Tonks refused to answer, the Headmaster let a sigh escape through his lips. "Tonks, were you aware that Lady was in the Grimmauld Place yesterday?" Tonks shook her head.

"No," she said quietly.

"And were you aware that Remus was also in the house?"

"No," she said, louder this time, her annoyance showing through.

"Were you even aware that it was a full moon last night?"

"No! Ok? I wasn't!" she cried exasperatedly. "Am I being blamed for this?"

"No one is being blamed for anything, Tonks." Dumbledore's voice remained calm and it frustrated her. She sat back in her seat and folded her arms across her chest. She felt like she was back at school, in yet another detention.

"Then I can only assume that it was a misunderstanding," Dumbledore said eventually. Tonks gave a sarcastic huff. "You don't agree, Tonks? Perhaps you'd like to share your theory." Tonks really didn't want that at all. She glanced over at Remus who looked half dead. She felt an enormous pang of guilt. It was quickly replaced with anger as she saw a smirk rise on Lady's bruised face.

"Yeah, I have a theory, but I don't think you'll like it."

"Tonks –" Harry began. She had clearly been talking to him during the night, for he looked concerned. She held a hand up, cutting him off.

"This is what I think happened, and jump in any time I'm going off-track, ok Lady?" she glared at the woman, who refused to break the stare. Tonks directed her entire accusation to the woman.

"Here's what I think, and I've been thinking of nothing else all night, believe me. I think you sneaked into Grimmauld Place late yesterday afternoon, without us knowing. You knew Harry was going to be there and that he couldn't Apperate yet. Last night was your last chance; the last full moon before Harry took his Apperation Exam. You transformed in the house, without sedation, in the hope that you would kill Harry. And possibly me, I don't know," she added as an after thought. "That's my theory on what happened. But if you're looking for why's," she turned to Dumbledore, "then I have no idea." Lady hadn't reacted once throughout Tonks' speech. She leant forward on her elbows and stared at Tonks.

"That's a nice piece of fiction you've got there, Dora." Tonks was furious. She stood up, knocking her chair backward in the process and banged the wooden table causing Fred's discarded bowl to jump an inch or two in the air.

"How can you say that!" she screamed at her. Then she lowered her voice but not by much. "Harry, come here." Harry who had been listening intently but wanted to stay well out of the conversation, began to object.

"Er, Tonks I –"

"Come here, Harry." As he neared her, she grabbed his wrist and dragged him to Lady's side of the table. Up close, her facial injuries looked exceptionally painful but Tonks felt no guilt. She wrenched Harry's arm closer to Lady's face and rolled up his sleeve causing him to wince. Lady could see a deep wound on the boy's forearm. Blood had dried around the edge, but it was obviously recent.

"Did you do that?" Tonks demanded.

"Tonks…" Charlie was silenced by a glower.

"Did you! Do you even know? Well let me tell you, you did. You did this to him. You could have killed him!" she shouted at her. Lady simply looked from Harry's arm back to the young witch, her expression blank. "Do you even care?" Tonks asked cynically.

"No," the woman admitted and Tonks turned to Dumbledore.

"See!"

"You have no idea what's going on, Dora," Lady spoke up. "You couldn't possibly understand. Why would you? You've been accepted you're entire life."

"Don't go assuming things about me, Lady. You have no idea."

"I think you need to calm down," Dumbledore said to Tonks, causing her to take a few deep breaths.

"You've never liked me, Tonks. Not from the moment we first met," Lady pushed. Tonks clenched her jaw in anger but refused to say anything. "Well I'm not so keen on you either. Don't think I don't know what you are, girl. You're a Black aren't you!" Harry spoke before anyone else had the chance.

"What exactly is _that_ supposed to mean?" he said angrily.

"Forget it, Harry. Come on, we're leaving." Tonks grabbed Harry's wrist again, like he was a wandering toddler in a large store, and headed for the stairs.

"You're so shallow. It bothers you because of what I am," Lady called after her. She spun to retaliate.

"What you _are_…is a lying bitch!" Tonks hissed.

"That's enough," Dumbledore said firmly, rising from his seat. "Tonks, sit back down please." Tonks did so, glowering as she went. She felt Remus' eyes on her but she didn't dare meet them. She was afraid what he might think of her. She was also afraid how she truly felt about him. Did she hate him too?

"I'd just like to say," Charlie spoke up, to their surprise. "I'd like to say that I agree with Tonks." Tonks looked as if she could have kissed Charlie. In fact, if it weren't for the dire situation she probably would have. Dumbledore simply nodded and moved away from the table. Remus and Lady followed suit.

"And you're ok, Harry?" Dumbledore asked as he reached the door. Harry nodded. "Good, good. Well we'd best be off then. Give my best to Molly." With that, they had gone.

Once they were back at Grimmauld Place, Tonks, Harry and Remus spent most of the day in their rooms avoiding each other. Harry had to admit to himself, as he worked on an essay for Snape, that it wasn't exactly the half term he had been expecting. Tonks had been irritable all day, even with him. Harry wished she would calm down; he was beginning to get a headache and could only imagine how an ailing Remus must be feeling. Tonks eventually did cheer up. She had opened a packet of pear drops and told herself that she wouldn't be satisfied until they were all gone. Sucking on a sweet and carrying a valued cup of tea (it had taken a while to make due to the state of the kitchen) she was making her way back upstairs to her room when she heard a moan from the drawing room. She poked her head round the door and saw Remus sprawled out on one of the long sofas, covered in an old blanket. He had spotted her too. Tonks knew she couldn't walk out now, as he would know she was avoiding him. She held her head high and made her way into the room.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I live here," he sat up, managinga reply. She gave a sharp sigh.

"Yes I know that. I mean here." She waved her arms above the sofa in gesture. "You should be in bed. You look like shit, Remus." Although he was not entirely pleased by her words, he gave her a smile anyway. "Here, I brought you some tea." A lie, but she guessed he needed it more than she did. She sat down next to him, and he looked surprised. She got out her bag of pear drops and popped one into her mouth. Remus swallowed and closed his eyes, smelling the fruity aroma and feeling his stomach churn.

"Please don't eat them in front of me," he mumbled. She gave him an apologetic look.

"Sorry." She put the bag away.

"Do you hate me, Nymphadora?" he asked suddenly. Tonks didn't know what to say. She frowned and gave a dismissive laugh.

"No silly," Remus didn't think he had ever been called silly in his life. "Of course not."

"It's just, after last night –"

"It would be really great if we could forget last night," she admitted. Remus wanted nothing more, but he knew it would be a long time before he forgot. He still thought of the first time he had endangered Harry's life.

"What if I'd hurt him, Tonks? Or you. What if I'd killed you both?"

"But you didn't."

"I could have, Nymphadora, and you know it." Tonks must have seen the pain in his eyes, for she leant forward and kissed him on the cheek.

"What was that for?" She gave a shrug.

"TONKS!" Harry's voice called from upstairs. She turned towards the door but didn't get up.

"WHAT?" she yelled back. Remus winced. His head was already pounding enough.

"WHERE'S MY TRANSFIGURATION BOOK?" Tonks decided to get up this time.

"Where did you leave it?" she asked from the door. There was a pause. "Try the study, if it's not in there then I don't know where it is." She walked back to her seat. Remus was smiling at her. "What?"

"You really care about him, don't you?"

"Of course. Who doesn't?" Remus gave a sigh and looked at his hands.

"Nymphadora, I can't do this. I can't look after him," he admitted to her. "He doesn't need me, we barely see each other as it is. And you're doing a great job with him. Maybe it's best if I'm not in his life at all."

"Remus, you're being silly again." She took his hands and put them in her lap. "He needs you more than anyone, more than me. How do you think he'd take it if you just upped and left? It would break his heart."

"You really think so?"

"I know so. Plus, I kinda like having you around," she smiled at him. "You're an incredible man, Remus and I really wish you would see that. You have no idea how much you mean to me, and to Harry. Just remember that we…"

"TONKS!"

"WHAT?" she yelled in annoyance. This time Remus gave a little laugh.

"WHERE'S MY WAND?"

"KITCHEN?"

"NO!" Tonks got up again, and huffed to the door.

"Harry, is it in you're pocket?" Remus heard the boy give a little laugh. "There you go!" She moved towards the sofa again, laughing and shaking her head.

"Seriously, he'll start calling me Mum soon if I'm not careful." Remus smiled. He seemed to hesitate over something.

"Do you… do you want to have children?"

"Why? You offering?" Remus' blush was more obvious on his very pale face. "Relax Remus. Haven't given it much thought to be honest. Dunno. Would be nice I suppose. We'll see." Silence fell between them and Tonks gave a nervous laugh to break it.

"Well, I'd better go sort the kitchen out, it's a state."

"I'll do it, Nymphadora." She shook her head firmly.

"No way. I want you to go to bed now, and stay there."

"Tonks." Harry's voice came again, this time from the doorway. "Oh, hi Remus." The grin he offered the man made Remus' heart lighten immensely. "Was gonna do something for tea, what do you reckon? Macaroni Cheese?"

Tonks heard rather than saw Remus retch. It was followed by the splatter of liquid onto the floor and a groan. Tonks closed her eyes, feeling slightly nauseous herself from the smell, and ran a hand over her forehead wearily.

"Harry, go to the kitchen. I'll meet you down there." She opened her eyes to see Remus wiping his mouth on the back of his hand.

"Like I said, Lupin, you're an incredible man."

"I am so sorry," he mumbled. She gave a laugh and pointed her wand on the floor and cleaned it in an instant, though the smell remained.

"No probs, what are friends for? Bed. Now!" she ordered and she helped the man off the sofa and up the stairs.

"I could get used to this," he joked.

"Well, don't," she retorted. "Sleep well." She closed the door behind her.

As she made her way up to bed that evening, she opened the door before her own on the corridor to find Remus fast asleep. She smiled to herself and leant over him as if he were a child. Kissing him gently on the forehead she whispered "You silly man," before getting into bed and thinking about the werewolf next door.

A/N: In a few chapters time, this story is gonna take a dramatic turn. The chapters are already written and I'm so excited that I'm almost peeing myself. In fact, you'll have yo excuse me ...


	14. Out in the cold

A/N: This is the calm chapter before the storm. I think it's cute.

**MrsAliciaWeasley**: Thanks so much for your constant reviews. You're a star!

**Poohdog**: Thanks for reading and reviewing. Hope you're enjoying it.

**Elf771:** Tonks is one of my fav characters too. Thanks for the review.

**Jennykim2007**: Thanks for your review. For this fic to work I wanted Tonks to teach at Hogwarts but I didn't think she'd give up a job that she had worked so hard to get, so I had her fired. As for the nickname thing, well I wanted to build a relationship up between Sirius and Tonks, as they aren't that close in the book (JK probably thought that they wouldn't have known each other so young) so I created nicknames. I think 'Siri' is over-used so I chose something I hadn't heard of before and I think it works but thanks for your opinion.

**Pickledishkiller**: I won't keep you in suspense for too long. Like I said, the chapters are already written. Glad to know you are enjoying it as much as I am enjoying writing it!

Harry had not experienced such a boring Defence Against the Dark Arts lesson for a long while, in fact, not since Umbridge had been teaching. He gave a sigh and looked back down to his textbook. Quills were scratching against parchment in a staggered rhythm.

Tonks had told them that she wasn't really in the mood to do any work today, (something which most of them related to,) and had set an essay for homework, telling them to do it in class. Although the group of students had not been told to keep quiet, most of them were doing so. Lavender and Parvati, however, were partially carrying out their work and partially tittering to each other. Ron's eyes fell on them and then to Harry.

"Do you think there's something medically wrong with those two?" he asked dryly and Harry sniggered.

The window to the classroom was open a fraction, and let in a cool autumnal breeze. Most of the leaves on the trees surrounding the castle had turned to a rusty shade and were falling gradually in the cold wind. Tonks sat at her desk. She, too, looked incredibly uninterested as she marked a pile of essays with a bright pink felt tip pen. At that moment, a paper aeroplane flew through the open window at a pace and landed on her desk. She looked at it in surprise, feeling like she was back at the Ministry.

Harry, who had been glancing over Hermione's shoulder and receiving a sharp tap on the hand, looked up with interest as Tonks began to giggle. She stood, scraping her chair loudly and causing her class to look up. Their eyes followed her to the window. She opened it further and leaned out slightly, looking down.

"What are you doing here?" she called to the ground. A mumble of a reply was heard by the class. They were looking at each other in amusement and curiosity. Harry noticed Ron give a look of recognition, then frowned as if trying to multiply two large numbers together.

"Oh right," Tonks called back. She then paused, turning her class and giving a devious grin. Sticking her head back out of the window, she hollered again.

"Can we come down? … Great!" She closed the window over-enthusiastically, with a bang. "Right then, cloaks and scarves on now. We're off outside," she told the bemused students. They obeyed.

Once out in the grounds, wrapped up snugly against the sharp wind, Tonks took the lead and made her way in the direction of Hagrid's hut.

"Er, Tonks. What's going on?" Harry asked but she only grinned in reply. As they reached Hagrid's hut, they saw him stood outside talking enthusiastically to none other than Charlie Weasley.

"What are you doing here?" Ron asked his brother suspiciously. Harry noticed that Hagrid was beaming.

"Right, well for those of you who don't know, this is Charlie Weasley. Say hi guys." Most of the class greeted him, but Malfoy and his cronies looked most displeased to have another Weasley around and started up a conversation at the back. Tonks continued. "Charlie is a Dragon Tamer."

"Ooh," Parvati cut in, "That sounds dangerous."

"Yeah it is," Charlie said proudly and gave a wink at Tonks.

"Hagrid has been working on Professor Dumbledore for a while now to let some of his classes study an actual Dragon, and it seems as if he's cave in." Hagrid blushed slightly, and gave a nervous cough. "So…" she paused, "You wanna see?"

"Yeah!" cried Dean Thomas. Charlie gave a laugh and began to lead the group around Hagrid's hut to the paddock behind.

"I know most of you will have seen the different types of Dragons at the Triwizard Tournament two years ago." He gave Harry a grin. _Had it only been two years ago?_ Harry thought to himself absently. "And of course, the situation was controlled. There were many Tamers on the scene that day. However, I would not have agreed to allow students to study a Dragon up close unless I was absolutely sure that no harm would come to any of you."

"Even those who aren't listening, Mr Malfoy." Tonks added, causing Malfoy to turn around at the sound of his name. It wouldn't have been the first time that Draco had been injured in a Care of Magical Creatures lesson, because he wasn't paying attention.

"And so," Charlie concluded. "I bring you our most tamed Dragon; the most tamed Dragon ever recorded in history. A Norwegian Ridgeback by the name of Norbert." Harry, Ron and Hermione gave a laugh as the scaled creature came into view. The Dragon lay down in the centre of the paddock, rather like a dog. The wooden fence that bordered it seemed no match for a Dragon, but he had stayed in his confinements. Indeed, Norbert seemed incredibly tame, as he glanced up at his observers before resting his head back down on the ground. Hagrid's smile widened further, if that was possible, and he puffed his chest out in pride.

The class spent the remainder of their Defence Against the Dark Arts lesson watching Norbert blow smoke rings out of his nostrils on command, and rolling over on to his back. They asked Charlie questions eagerly, and Neville even volunteered to approach the Dragon and stroke him. Malfoy also volunteered, not wanting to be shown up by Longbottom. However, as he approached, Norbert gave out a grunt of displeasure causing the blonde boy to run back with a yelp. Harry and Ron had not been so amused in ages.

When Tonks announced the end of the lesson, Harry was pleased for he could no longer feel the ends of his toes. The trio made there way back up to the Gryffindor common room and slumped by the fire in their chairs.

"Did you see the look on Hagrid's face?" Harry asked. "He was so pleased to have Norbert back."

"Yes well he'd better make the most of the time he has with him, as I suppose Charlie will be taking him away again soon," Hermione said bluntly, dampening the mood. Ron scowled at her.

"Always one to put a downer on things aren't you Hermione." She pursed her lips at him, but said nothing. Harry hoped he would defrost soon, before it was time to go down for tea. He noticed it was already getting dark outside; one of the down sides to winter. He held his hands to the roaring fire, watching the flames dance and crackle. His mind wandered to the times he had spoken to Sirius on this same hearth. It made him smile. Sirius always was a risk-taker. Hermione and Ron were squabbling. Harry broke out of his reverie and told them to be quiet.

"She's doing my head in, mate!"

"Well, you always start it Ronald!"

"Hey!" Ginny called them from across the common room. The trio turned around. Ron noticed she was sat incredibly close to Dean Thomas and that they were holding hands. "Come here a sec!"

"No thanks," Ron mumbled.

"No really, come and see this," Ginny persisted, gesturing for them to get up. Hermione did so first and Harry joined her, followed grudgingly by Ron. Ginny was pointing out of the window. Harry squinted in the fading light.

"What are we supposed…" but then he stopped. Walking together rather intimately across the grounds were Tonks and Charlie. Harry grinned at Ginny and turned back to look.

"Ooh, this is great!" Hermione squealed. "What do you think they are talking about?"

"Maybe it's none of our business," Ron mumbled shortly, but his face had also lit up at the sight of his brother with Tonks. The couple had stopped in their tracks.

"He's gonna kiss her, he's sooo gonna kiss her!" Ginny shrieked. Harry and Ron turned away in embarrassment, as Ginny's prediction had been correct.

Tonks walked with Charlie across the chilly grounds. The sun was going down behind the castle in the distance. Tonks swallowed uncomfortably and tucked a strand of electric blue hair behind an ear. Charlie had not stopped staring at her since her class had disappeared up to the castle.

"So…" she began, hoping the nerves in her stomach would fade in conversation.

"So," he replied. They continued to walk. His cheeks had reddened slightly, and he hoped that she wouldn't notice in the evening's light. What would Bill think if he saw him like this? Enough was enough; he was going to swallow his pride. He stopped abruptly, causing her to frown.

"What's wrong?"

"I like you." His sudden confession caused her jaw to drop. "I'm sorry. That was rather forward of me. Forget it." He continued to walk but she took his hand, holding him back.

"I like you too, Charlie." She smiled.

"Great, well… good that's good."

"I'm not sure if I'm looking for a relationship though," she added, causing his face to drop in obvious disappointment. She sighed, uncomfortably. "Listen, I think you're great. But I have my job at Hogwarts and you said yourself that you're thinking of heading back to Romania soon, so I don't really see us working, do you?" Charlie's head dropped. He wished he hadn't mentioned that to Tonks earlier.

"Well," he said after a pause, "I'd like it to work. And, if it's ok with you, I'd like to give it a shot."

"That's fine by me," she said, her whisper barely audible as he moved in towards her and put his arms around her waste. His lips were warm against hers. It was a brief kiss, lasting only a moment. Charlie lingered in front of her for a second before pulling away with a smile. Neither of them spoke. The silence was then filled by a distant cheer, which echoed around the stone castle.

"Wooooh!" Hermione and Ginny's cries of delightcould be heard.

"Yeah! Get in there!" Ron whooped. The pair looked up to Gryffindor Tower, seeing the glow from an open window high above them. Charlie gave a chuckle and put his arm around Tonks' shoulder.

"That's some family we have, huh?" Tonks gave a sigh of content.

"Yeah." The smile refused to fade from her face, as they made there way in from the cold.


	15. Andromeda

A/N: This chapter, along with the following one were the first two chapters I wrote of this fic. Random place to start, I know. Just thought I'd let you know that piece of random information. Thanks again for the reviews, they make me dance around in delight :)

_He was singing again. What was the song? "God Rest Ye Merry Hippogriffs". Tonks growled at Sirius who grabbed her and spun her in circles around the kitchen table until she yelled out in protest._

_"Riu, for God's sake! Get a grip." He grinned at the sound of his old pet name._

_"Tis the season to be merry, cuz." He winked at Harry, who was sat in the comfy chair by the fire reading his new book: Practical Defensive Magic and its Use Against the Dark Arts, which Sirius and Remus had given him for Christmas. He grinned back at his Godfather, knowing that he was the happiest he had been in years. _

_"First Christmas with Harry, T. Gotta make it a memorable one."_

_"It'll be your last Christmas with Harry if you don't stop your droning! I'll make it a memorable one, I'll stick that holly up your nose," she warned, prompting a laugh from Harry and the others, and a hurtful look from Sirius. He sat down next to her on the kitchen bench, defeated._

_"Fine," he grumbled, then looked shiftily to Harry and back at Tonks before planting a huge kiss on her cheek. She shrieked a laugh._

_"Git!" she giggled, wiping her cheek._

Tonks broke out of her daydream. She was in that same kitchen, almost a year later. Harry was in his same chair. It was as if she had gone back in time. But Sirius wasn't there. So much had changed since then, and so much had been lost. _No,_ she told herself,_ remember the good times._ And she did. She smiled slightly to herself, humming "God Rest Ye Merry Hippogriffs" quietly as she passed Harry. He broke off his conversation with Ginny and Ron to look up at her.

"Remembering Sirius?" he asked and she nodded.

"Yes, I am," she admitted but her smile never faded. Harry smiled back.

Moody, Kingsley and Remus were gathered in deep conversation at the other side of the kitchen. Tonks wandered over to them.

"You guys look solemn, what's up?" Moody was about to speak when Kingsley interrupted.

"Tonks –" He nodded his head to the top of the stairs. Her eyes followed, frowning. There she saw her mother, Andromeda Tonks.

"Mamma? What are you doing here?" Her mother's cloak still bore traces of the snow that had begun falling lightly outside. Her mother looked pale and troubled.

"Can I have a word please, Dora." Tonks left the kitchen, following her mother into the drawing room. "Close the door please, dear." She did as she was told.

"Mamma, what's wrong? What are you doing here?" she repeated. Her mother took a deep breath and looked her daughter straight in the eyes.

"Nymphadora, your father and I have been discussing things and, under the current situation, we have decided to leave the country." Tonks began to interrupt but her mother continued, as if she had learnt it like a speech. " We are leaving for Canada, yes Canada, Dora," she repeated at her daughter's outburst. "Your father has Muggle relatives there, we'll be safe. And I am not leaving without you," she added firmly. Tonks didn't know what to say. There was silence between them for a long moment before Tonks found her voice again.

"When are you going?"

"Your father's in the car now. We will take you to your apartment to collect your things –"

"No, Mamma. I can't come with you! What about the Order, my job at Hogwarts?" Her mother sighed in exasperation; she had guessed that her daughter would have reacted like this.

"Dora, forget about that. This is life and death! A war is coming, and I want you as far away from it as possible. I've already lost Riu and I'm damned if I'm going to lose you too!" she finished in a sob. Tonks felt a world of guilt land upon her.

"Mamma, I'm sorry about Sirius, I really am. But I can't just run away now. What about Harry?"

"We'll take him with us," said Andromeda, desperately. Tonks threw her arms up in the air and turned away from her mother defiantly.

"Mother, do you have any idea how crazy that sounds? It is because of him that there is a war in the first place. He _is_ the war! Now, Sirius gave his life to protect Harry and he has handed that task to me. I would be no relation of Sirius' if I ran away and left Harry now." Silence fell between them again and Andromeda shuddered a breath, realising that she would be leaving that evening without her only daughter.

"What's brought this on, Mother?" Tonks asked after a while. Andromeda shook her head, and then lowered her shoulders in quick defeat.

"I went to see Bellatrix." Tonks' head rose quickly at the name of her aunt, Sirius' killer. Her mother avoided her eyes and said no more; she didn't need to.

"Mamma, if you know where she is you have to tell me!" Tonks demanded.

"I can't, I'm too afraid," her mother admitted. "I can't lose you too, Dora."

Her mother's shoulders rose and fell as she sobbed quietly in front of her daughter. Tonks took her mother in her arms and rubbed her back gently.

"Please, I need to know." Her mother looked into her eyes and saw the desperation within her daughter. Reluctantly, she removed a small piece of folded parchment from her pocket. Andromeda had already written her sister's whereabouts down, and had been torn between throwing it away and giving it to her daughter. She shook as she handed over the parchment.

"We won't be able to contact you for some time now," she paused, "And you won't be able to reach us either." She stroked the side of her daughter's face lovingly before pulling her into an embrace. "Take care of yourself, Nymphadora," she whispered before letting go and turning for the door. Once there, she looked back with such empty eyes. Andromeda Tonks thought her daughter was already dead.

It took all the effort she could muster, but Tonks managed it heavily down the stairs. All conversations were hushed as they saw the look of anguish on her face. Ginny voiced their concern.

"Tonks, what's wrong?" She crossed over to her and placed a hand on the older woman's shoulder. Crumpling the parchment absentmindedly in her hand, she looked at Ginny, then over her shoulder to Harry and Ron.

"Guys, do you think you could give us a minute?" Ginny nodded straight away, heading for the stairs. She looked at her brother to follow. He got up off the floor.

"Come on, Harry." Harry's eyes locked with Tonks' and she flinched in shame. He rose from his seat and followed his friends up the stairs. As the door clicked shut behind them, Tonks let out a sigh and sat herself down next to Kingsley. Remus looked at Moody who finally chose to speak.

"What's happened?" he asked in his gruff voice. Tonks put her head in her hands and let out a shuddered breath.

"Nothing . . . and everything. My parents believe that something big is going down. They are leaving the country tonight. My mother tried to make me go too but I couldn't. She didn't tell me what to expect, but she's scared, really scared." Tonks felt sick at her own words and had to stop. There was silence in the kitchen between the three men and the troubled young woman. Remus noticed the piece of parchment in her hand.

"What's that?" When she didn't answer he asked again. She looked up at her friend but avoided his eyes. Keeping her voice low she said,

"Let's just say, if I ever want to visit my Aunt Bella I'll know where to look." This prompted all three men to start questioning her at once, Remus the loudest.

"Are you telling me that the whereabouts of Bellatrix Lestrange is on that piece of parchment!" Tonks couldn't open her mouth for fear that she would throw up on the kitchen table. She simply nodded. Remus went to take it off her but she moved away from him quickly and headed for the fire.

"What are you doing?" exclaimed Kingsley who looked about as alarmed as Remus did. Tonks swallowed hard, feeling the hot lick of flames under her knuckles.

"I begged for this, and now that I have it I don't think I want it," she admitted.

Lupin looked horrified. He moved towards her and grabbed her wrist with such strength that she winced in pain.

"Let go, Remus." He relaxed his grip but not entirely.

"Why are you doing this?" he asked. However, it was Moody that answered.

"Have you any idea how dangerous that piece of parchment would be in the hands of Harry? Destroy it Tonks," he said firmly. Lupin's eyes pleaded with her and her heart broke.

"Please Tonks, don't do this. Not to me."

"What different does it make, Remus?" she shouted in outburst, finally freeing her wrist from his grip. She was angry with him for making her feel this way. "What difference does it make? What would you do with the knowledge if you had it? Go after her? You'd get killed! Is that what Sirius would have wanted?"

"I don't know what he would have wanted!" he yelled back at her "If you destroy that information now, I will never forgive you. Ever." That was it for Tonks; that was the moment when her shields fell. She removed her hand from the fireplace, it was beginning to hurt anyway, and brought it to her side.

"Please," he whispered. She looked away from him, to the fire. Reluctantly she handed him the creased parchment. He didn't snatch it; he knew he had won. He paused before opening it.

"Have you read it?" A pause.

"No," she said to the fire. Remus read the writing slowly, then again, and again until he had memorised it. Then, as Moody had requested, he tossed it into the flames. Tonks gave a quiet sob. Lupin passed her without looking at her.

"I'm sorry," he muttered quietly, before leaving the kitchen for his room.


	16. Bellatrix

A/N: **Elf771**, yes I do understand Elvish, thanks a lot :) In fact thank all of you so much for the reviews, it really means a lot to me. I have two assignments to write so this is gonna be my last chapter for about a week (even though I've written the chapter that follows, I'm sneaky like that :P) I may be persuaded to post, if you're that desperate, we'll see from the reviews or lack of, shall we?

The events from the previous night had caused an uncomfortable tension in the kitchen of Grimmauld Place. Molly busied herself, noticing the change in atmosphere but not commenting on it. Her two younger children sat together at the end of the table, heads down, saying nothing. Remus was staring over the top of his steaming mug at Tonks, who was also trying to avoid eyes. However, it seemed Remus was not the only one who had his eyes fixed on her. Harry, who seemed to guess Tonks was at the centre of the tension, glanced her way every other moment. This made Tonks feel so incredibly guilty about what had happened last night that she wanted to scream a confession to the boy over the table. Moody, who's magic eye had not left Tonks all morning either, seemed to have seen this very thought and kept shaking his head at her warily, whenever she spared a glace his way.

Molly cleared her throat before breaking the silence.

"Anyone else hungry at all?" All she received were mumbles of declination. She huffed loudly and returned to her washing up. Tonks, who couldn't bear the staring any longer, rose from her place.

"I'm off out," she said bluntly to nobody in particular.

"Tonks wait –" began Lupin. Tonks ascended the stairs without giving him a glance.

"Forget it, Lupin," she muttered harshly, though it was audible for all in the kitchen to hear. Remus shrunk back into his seat, avoiding the questioning glances he was receiving from the children and Molly.

"Full moon tonight, Remus," Molly commented dryly. A flash of annoyance appeared on Lupin's face.

"Thank you, Molly, I'm well aware of that," he said through gritted teeth.

"Well, after what happened the other month, can't be too careful can we."

He knew she was right. Having plenty of things to bother him, he was lucky if he knew what day of the week it was. Remus gave Moody a glance. He seemed to have a look of realisation on his face. _That's why Lupin's still here, the full moon._ Moody was very surprised to see Lupin come down for breakfast that morning, having half expected him to have sneaked off in the night to confront Lestrange.

Remus had had enough too. He rose from his seat and left without saying a word. Once he had gone, Molly turned quickly to Moody.

"What's going on, Alastor?" she demanded but the Auror shook his head.

"Nothing for you to worry about, Molly, just a little rift in the ranks that's all." The sound of Tonk's raised voice could be heard, followed by Lupin's and the slamming of doors. Mrs Black was sent into a fit of shrieks. Moody winced then smiled weakly at Mrs Weasley.

"Excuse me, Molly."

Harry was very lonely for the rest of the day. Ron and Ginny, coming from a large family, knew when it was best to stay out of the way. Moody had left that morning, after a heated conversation with Lupin. Mrs Weasley was in a foul mood; apparently it was catching. Tonks had arrived home around midday and gone straight to her room. It was late afternoon and Harry was left alone in the drawing room with Lupin, who had a book open in front of him but had not turned a page in over ten minutes. Lupin looked peaky. Harry desperately wanted to talk to his old Professor, but could not really think of a way to open a conversation so he just offered him a smile. Tonks' heavy feet could be heard in the hall. She peeked her head through the door and, on seeing Lupin, turned quickly on her heels.

"Tonks, where are you going?" Remus called.

"Are you still here?" she asked shortly.

"It's not dark yet, _Nymphadora_. Where are you going?" She stared at him, refusing to answer. "Harry," he said in a gentler tone. "Would you go upstairs for a moment." Harry looked at him indignantly, and didn't move.

"Harry," a warning, this time from Tonks. He sighed loudly and got up from his seat.

"You two better sort this out soon, coz this is getting stupid," he told them both, slamming the door as he went.

"Where are you going?" Remus asked for a third time, prompting Tonks to cry out in annoyance.

"For God's sake, Remus. I'm just going out. So what? Big deal!" She knew as she started speaking though, that Lupin was on to her.

"You lied to me. When I asked you last night if you had read that piece of parchment you said no. You lied. You waited until tonight, when you knew I couldn't come with you, and you were trying to sneak out without me knowing weren't you?" Lupin had slipped back into his old "teacher" status. Tonks would have found it rather sweet, if she hadn't been the one on the receiving end.

"I can look after myself," was all she could think of to say. She turned to leave.

"Wait –." She sighed.

"Remus, it's getting late. You should be leaving." She walked away, hoping to herself and whatever higher being there was in the universe that those words would not be the last she ever spoke to him. Little did she know that he was thinking the exact same thing.

The next day, Remus woke from his transformation, feeling stressed but not remembering why. He lay there for a while, gathering his strength to move. The night had been lonely for him, as it had always been since Sirius had left again, but he knew that the wolf inside him would learn to cope, however much he missed the black dog. Apparating to Grimmauld Place an hour later, his head still pounding, he headed straight for the kitchen in the hope that someone would explain the feeling of worry he had at the pit of his stomach. As soon as he entered, all eyes were on him.

"Where's Tonks?" Kingsley Shacklebolt demanded. Remus knew then what it was. _Tonks_. "Remus?" Kingsley pressed. In his worry, all Lupin could do was shake him head. Moody saw and turned to Kingsley immediately.

"You'd better get into the office, get the team together."

"No, no! I'll go." Remus' voice was firm, though he felt as though a light wind would knock him clean off his feet. He obviously looked that way too, as Moody said,

"Not in the state you're in, Lupin. You'd better tell me exactly where she's going." Lupin shook his head again. He had let Tonks walk away, probably to her death; he wasn't about to send a group of Auror off to die too.

"Will some one please explain to me what is going on!" Molly demanded. Remus noticed for the first time that the kitchen was full of Weasley's (minus Percy) and Harry too. He turned and went back upstairs.

"Lupin –" Kingsley called. Harry got off his seat and followed Remus upstairs to confront him.

"What's going on? Where's Tonks?" He too held concern in his voice. Remus froze, what should he tell him? _The truth_, a voice that sounded a lot like Sirius, spoke up in his head.

"Nymphadora knows where Bellatrix Lestrange is," he blurted out, and then wished he had thought of a better way to break the news. Harry stood in shock for a second, before coming to the conclusion that Remus feared the most.

"Then we have to go save her."

"There is no 'we' Harry. I'm going alone."

"To hell you're not!" replied Harry, then felt embarrassed for over-reacting. "Sorry," he muttered. Then a thought dawned on him. "Hey, hang on. You knew, both of you, and you never told me!" He wanted to be angry but worry had overcome him.

"Yes, and for good reason. But listen Harry, we can't lose any more time. If you are to come with me you have to promise me, no heroics! Ok?" Harry nodded eagerly.

"Ok, let's go quickly, before I get pounded on by Moody, or worse . . . Molly!"

Tonks had set off from her flat in the dead of night. She had walked around for what felt like three hours and probably was, before finally plucking up the courage to get on a bus. She was cold and tired. Her feet were numb from the snow, which had soaked through into her sneakers. She felt bad about the way she had left things with Remus, but couldn't think about that right now. Remembering her mother's directions, she followed a windy road out from the village of North Egerton into even further darkness. There were few street lamps, and the sky had clouded over. Tonks was tempted to light her wand, but thought better of it. _Not that it matters, I suppose._

She reached Oakdene Farm in the early hours of the morning, wishing she had the energy left to even confront her aunt. She smiled at her own stupidity. The farm was dilapidated. The house itself was dark inside, the windows were smashed and the ragged curtains blew out in the cold winter wind. Abandoned. Tonks thought it best not to creep up on one of the world's most dark and powerful Death-Eaters in the dark. Pausing to form a plan, Tonks noticed a flickering light in the large barn to the far right of the land. Tonks brought out her wand and headed for the light. Then she paused and gave a glance over her shoulder. Once again she felt a pair of eyes on her, it had been this way her entire journey. The feeling reminded her of that summer afternoon at Hogwarts, when her paranoia had gotten the better of her then also. She shook her head and carried on.

She reached the door and peered inside. The barn was empty save for what looked like a camping area. A sprinkling of pots, pans and cutlery could be seen, on the floor. It was as if someone was living there. Tonks couldn't imagine why her aunt would want to live in a barn in the middle of winter, but she must have had a very good reason. A futon was laid out to the side of the other items. It was here that Tonks spotted Bellatrix. She wasn't asleep, but she wasn't entirely awake either. Her eyes seemed hollow, dark, as if they were nothing but empty sockets. She looked thin, and very pale. Her long black hair, a trademark of the family, framed her weary face. She reminded Tonks of her mother in so many ways, but of course not as beautiful and without the grace. Tonks viewed the situation, almost pitying what she saw before her, but then remembering that this was the woman who had killed Sirius, their Sirius. It looked as if Bellatrix were hiding from someone. _That can't be right,_ thought Tonks, _she's not afraid of anyone except . . ._the thought hit her with almost a literal force. _Voldermort_. Tonks' elbow caught the barn door causing it to creak open further. _Clumsy fool! _Bellatrix's head snapped up in genuine surprise and fear. She went for her wand.

"Who's there?" her cold voice called. It was now or never. Tonks considered turning and leaving but instead she stepped forward into the light.

"Aunt Bella," she announced, then felt stupid for calling her that. She stepped closer and stopped only when Bellatrix rose. She pointed her wand at her niece's face.

"Should have known you're mother wouldn't have kept her mouth shut," she snarled. Tonks flinched at the mention of her mother, feeling a pang of guilt, but continued nonetheless.

"Bella, please I . . . I only want to talk," she pleaded; only realising herself, in that moment that it was true. Bellatrix screeched a laugh and edged herself closer to Tonks, who refused to back away.

"Talk! What could we possibly have to talk about, girl?" Tonks wished she knew the answer to that question herself. Then she asked the first thing that came into her head.

"How . . .how do you know? How do you know that the side you have chosen is the right side?" Bella frowned at this and lowered her wand a fraction. Was this some sort of distraction, or was her niece genuinely interested? It seemed, to the dark witch, a long way to come just to talk about the politics of their war. She decided to answer with a question.

"How do _you_ know _your_ side is right?"

"I... I just do!"

"Well, you've answered your own question!" she snapped. Tonks took an involuntary step back and then wished she hadn't.

"But Bella, you killed! Your own family! How can that be right? I don't understand." Tonks pleaded at the older woman. She stared at her; the crazed glare seemed to be fading from her eyes. Tonks continued. "I need to know that I'm fighting for the right side, that I'm not missing out on something," she whispered to her aunt. Bellatrix paused, not entirely believing what she was hearing. Neither was Tonks, but she had said it anyway, she had spoken the thoughts that had been circling in her mind since Sirius had died. Bellatrix glanced at the door.

"Are you alone?" she demanded.

"Yes," replied Tonks without hesitation.

"Nymphadora," Bellatrix said her name for the first time in what Tonks guessed was at least sixteen years. She said it so quietly, so calmly, that it was unnerving. "Go home." Tonks couldn't believe what she was hearing. She remained on the spot. "Go!" she shouted, raising her wand again.

"No," said Tonks firmly. " You killed him. Sirius. Our Riu," Bella's eyes flickered at the name. "You killed him. Why? Do you even know? Was it just because _he_ told you to? I hope it was worth it!" she said, her voice bitter but her body full of fear. Now, if ever, would be the time that Bellatrix was pushed over the edge.

"Bet your Dark Lord isn't very happy you failed to take the prophecy . . . from a 15 year old boy," Tonks added smugly. Bella's eyes widened.

"How dare you speak of the Dark Lord!" she screeched, closing in on Tonks, her wand pointing under her niece's chin.

"You must really love him, to chose him over your own flesh and blood," Tonks struggled to say in the grips of Bellatrix. "Is that why you're hiding here, in the middle of nowhere? Because he's so great?" Bella let go of her grip and stormed away from her opponent. She turned to glare at the young woman, to scream at her, to tell her she was wrong. Instead, what she did do shocked them both. She broke down on the floor, beside her futon, and wept. Tonks neared her reluctantly. She looked so much like her mother, when she had broken down in the drawing room at Grimmauld Place, not two days ago. Just then the door creaked open, causing both women to look up sharply. Harry and Remus stood in the doorway, wands out. _No!_ thought Tonks. Bellatrix gave a blood-curdling scream and raised her wand to Tonks.

"You lying little bitch!" she screamed, "I should have known! Impedimenta!" she yelled, aiming for Tonks. Harry sent a counter-curse, within seconds, before Lupin had had time to blink. He reminded himself to praise the boy later, if they lived through this.

"Bella, no!" cried Tonks. She raised her wand at her aunt and sent a disarming spell her way. It had no effect.

"Expelliarmus!" Bellatrix cried at Tonks, causing her wand to soar thought the air to the shadowed side of the poorly lit barn. Why had she done that? She could have caused Tonks so much pain, perhaps even killed her, but instead she chose disarm her niece. Perhaps her conscience was kicking in. Tonks panicked. She heard Remus shout a spell and Bella cry out before reacting with like kind. Tonks heard Harry's shout, and she knew then that Remus was down. _He's weak from the full moon,_ Tonks thought, _He shouldn't have come here. He shouldn't have brought Harry!_ She didn't dare glance over, in fear that he was dead. Instead, she looked on the ground for something to fight with. She saw a knife gleaming dimly in the pale light. Tonks hoped it wouldn't come to that. Bellatrix was nearing Harry, who had rushed forward as the only capable one left to fight.

"Well well, it's baby Harry," she mocked, in that annoying voice she had used in the Department of Mysteries six months ago. "Ready to join your beloved Sirius?" she asked with a laugh. The smile faded quickly from her face though, and turned to one of pain and surprise. Tonks had acted without thinking. She ran up behind her aunt and stabbed her with all the energy she could find, into her abdomen. Bellatrix fell to the floor, shocked, and cried out in pain. Blood began to pour from her mouth. Harry ran to check on Lupin. Tonks stood frozen. She stared down at her aunt, and her aunt stared back with betrayal in her eyes.

"I didn't think you had it in you, Dora. Perhaps you are a Black after all," she whispered, as Tonks fell to her knees at her side.

"No, no! Take that back!" she screamed at the dying woman. She placed her hands over the wound that she had made, adding pressure. Her hands were covered in blood, her blood, their same blood.

"It's ok Bella, you'll be ok. You can't die. I won't kill you. Take it back!" she cried in frustration. Looking over to Harry, who was supporting a barely conscious Lupin under one arm, she called to him.

"Harry! Get help!" But Harry just stood there defiantly. Tonks' eyes began to fill with hot tears that spilled down her cheeks and landed onto her aunt's robes. Her vision blurred, she was unable to see what was coming next. In a last effort, Bellatrix reached for her wand.

"Well done, Dora. You've made me proud," she whispered before calling weakly, "Avada Kedavra!"

Harry screamed as he saw Tonk's limp body fly through the air and hit the far wall of the barn.

Everything went dark.

A/N: And with that, I'll crack on with my assignments shall I? See you soon x x x


	17. Interuptions

A/N: AAAAAAHH! Ok, I cave! I'm too weak so here you go. Damn you reviewers :P

Harry screamed as he saw Tonk's limp body fly through the air and hit the far wall of the barn. He was frozen to the spot, but his brain desperately tried to persuade his legs to move. He bolted at a pace, leaving Remus' side. As he passed Bellatrix's body, she grabbed his ankle with surprising strength and he stumbled.

"Get off me you bitch!" He scrambled up, kicking her wherever was nearest and continued to run to his friend's aide. He fell to his knees heavily and shook Tonks' shoulders roughly.

"Tonks? TONKS!" he screamed but her eyes remained closed. He looked over at Lupin who had begun to follow him and stopped as he had reached Lestrange. He was staring down at her with so much disgust and hatred. Bellatrix just gave him a weak laugh, blood spattering on her own pale cheeks.

"Remus! Help me!" Harry's frightened voice broke his stare. He gave one last glance of revulsion before heading for Harry. He was shaking and wiping his tears fiercely, while continuing to pull Tonks up off the floor by her shoulders. Remus put a hand on Harry'sarm to stop him.

"We have to go, Harry," he said firmly, though his voice shook as he saw his lifeless friend in front of him. Harry couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"I'm not leaving her," he exclaimed, "We can't leave her." He tried to carry the woman all by herself and failed. Remus tried to drag Harry up but he pushed his guardian away angrily.

"No, we have to save her. She's going to be ok," he said quickly to himself. Remus wished he could believe the boy. "Remus, come on!" Knowing that the only way Harry would leave was if Tonks' body went with them, he nodded and crouched down with the boy.

"Ok. Let's go."

_

* * *

_

_She was in a white room, on a white bed looking, well . . . white. She was stood over her body, staring at it in confusion. Where was she? Who was she? She looked around; there was no door or window. She looked down at herself. _**Ok, this is weird . . . I really don't like my nose!**_ She added as an afterthought._

"_What are you doing here?" Sirius' voice boomed in Tonk's ear, making her jump. _

_"Bloody hell, Sirius! You scared the life out of me."_

_"Nice choice of words there, cuz," he said dryly, pushing himself up onto the end of Tonks' bed. _**My bed,**_ she thought._

"Oh God, I'm dead aren't I! And here was me thinking about my nose!" she exclaimed, prompting a laugh from her cousin.

_"Well that depends. You get the choice. Go back there, and face up to what you've done. Or stay here with me, we'll order in pizza or something," he smiled ruefully. "Seriously though, you could choose to be here with me, or you can wake up and put a smile back on my Godson's face. He's really worried about you, you know. Think you're becoming his favourite," he added with a twinge of jealousy. "What I do know is that you risked your life to save him, and for that I am so thankful to you, T-Bird, I really am." She looked at him to see tears falling down his cheeks. She looked back at her body, her natural dark hair flowing around her face. _**I look so peaceful**_; she thought to herself, _**this really is weird**

_"Won't you be lonely Riu?" she asked. He nodded, sniffing back his tears and wiping his face with his hand._

"Yeh, but you can't stay here. I know that, really." She turned to look at him face to face. He hadn't changed, not one bit. She hugged him so tightly, but it didn't hurt. They were grateful of the chance to say a final goodbye, in a way, even under the circumstances.

_"I love you Riu," she whispered._

_"I love you too, T-Bird," he whispered back, kissing the top of her head. They broke away, though for Tonks it was too soon._

_"Tell Moony to stop being a miserable old git, would you? He's starting to piss me off," Sirius admitted. Tonks laughed and nodded._

_"What about Harry?" she asked. Sirius paused for a moment._

_"Tell him I think about him every day, and that he means so much to me that I can't say. Tell him I'm so proud of him." Sirius had to stop himself. Tonks nodded._

_"You big softy," she grinned and he ruffled her hair. _

_"Thanks for the visit T-Bird, don't come back again anytime soon though," he added, and kissed her on the tear-stained cheek._

* * *

Tonks gave a groan.

"Sirius?"

"Nymphadora?" came a concerned voice.

"Remus?" she mumbled. Opening her eyes proved difficult, the light was so bright. She saw that she was in a white room, and for a moment she wondered whether she had woken up at all. This question was answered when Lupin's worried face came into view. He called a medic over, too loudly for Tonks' liking, and stepped back. They prodded and poked her until she told them to "_bugger off_". When Lupin came back into view, Harry joined him. Tonks tried to smile but failed, so she took his hand instead. She wanted to give them both their messages from Sirius before she forgot, but she could barely speak.

"Where am I?" she croaked. The two exchanged glances.

"St Mungo's," Remus replied simply. _Again?_ She hoped this wasn't becoming a habit. The thought went through her mind that perhaps she had never left St Mungo's the last time she was in, and the past six months had been a dream. She shook her head, dismissing the silly idea.

"You two ok?" she asked. Harry laughed lightly

"Are we ok? We're fine. Worried about you but fine."

"What happened?" she asked. Harry looked at Remus, who attempted to smile.

"Why don't you rest now, hey? We'll talk more later." She put her hand on his wrist to stop him leaving.

"Please, Remus." But he shook his head.

"No, rest now."

Once out of the room, Harry turned to Remus quickly.

"What are we going to tell her?"

"The truth," Remus said simply, turning away from the boy.

"You think she can take the truth?" Harry asked.

"Well she's going to have to." His tone was sharper than he had intended and Harry looked to the floor. Lupin gave a sigh.

"Listen, let's just be grateful that she's ok. She's a very lucky girl. And she's strong, Harry, she's shown us that much. She'll cope. We have to be there for her, can you do that?" Harry nodded without hesitation.

Tonks woke from her light nap to see Harry watching her from the chair beside her bed. She offered him a weak smile and started to sit up slowly. He got up to help but she had already managed by herself.

"Did I fall asleep? I'm so tired."

"It's the potion," Harry said simply, taking her hand. "You're on a high dosage." Tonks looked around. She had been moved to a ward.

"Where's Remus?" she asked. Harry gave a smile.

"He's asleep out in the corridor. He's not slept in a while. I was gonna wake him up, but I can take care of you by myself."

"Yeah, I suppose the after-effects of the full moon are catching up on him." Seeing Harry's eyes flicker in confusion, she frowned. "What?" He hesitated.

"The full moon was over two weeks ago, Tonks. You've been unconscious for that long. You've even missed Christmas and New Year," he added ruefully. She gave a small groan.

"Oh no, that's gonna throw me for the rest of the year now. Hey, shouldn't you be back at school?" The boy shook his head.

"No, school starts next week. Ron and Ginny have already gone back and I'm going at the weekend." They sat in silence for a while. Tonks was taking in what Harry had just told her. She had lost over two weeks; something dire must have happened to her. After a pause, she voiced the question.

"Harry, what happened?" The boy looked uncomfortably towards the door, as if expecting Lupin to walk in at any moment. He gave a sigh and decided to answer with a question.

"What do you remember?"

Tonks thought about it. She closed her eyes, her face screwed up in concentration. She remembered having a fight with Remus, but she didn't know what about. Then she remembered walking through the snow. Everything else was a blur. She shook her head and looked at Harry.

"Nothing. Just a feeling." It was then that she noticed her clothes by the side of her bed. The bottoms of her jeans, once damp with snow, were mucky and stiff. Her coat lay on top of the pile. Harry followed her gaze, bracing himself as he saw the dry stain of blood on cuffs and up the sleeves.

"I was bleeding," Tonks mumbled quietly, pulling the coat off the table and into her lap. She stared down at it intently.

"No, Tonks," Harry said.

"Yes I was, look." She felt her body, trying to locate a place that hurt to the touch. She rolled up the sleeves of her hospital robes to search for wounds. There weren't any. _They've probably been healed_, she thought to herself.

"Tonks, you weren't bleeding," Harry spoke again.

"I was, Harry. Look at …" She paused at the sight of his anxious expression. She held the jacket out to him.

"That's not my blood, is it Harry? Is it!" she cried and he winced in discomfort. "Who's is it… why won't you tell me!" Harry lowered his head. Tonks gave a sigh of frustration and ran a hand over her pale face.

"What's going on?" Lupin's voice made them both look up. Harry rose from his seat and left the ward hurriedly. "Is he ok?"

"He's fine. I'm not! Tell me what's going on Remus." He spotted the bloodstained garment and sighed wearily.

"I was hoping we wouldn't have to do this until we got home."

"Well we are! I want to know what's going on. I'm in hospital, I have been for over two weeks, and I don't even know what's wrong with me –"

"You were hit by an Unforgivable curse," Remus cut in sharply. Tonks sat back in shock. _Which one?_ she thought and was about to ask when Remus continued. "We thought you were dead." His voice was barely audible. He looked frail and tired, as if the grief of losing yet another friend had hit him before he had finished dealing with losing another. Tonks swallowed hard.

"Avada Kedavra," she whispered. "But who–" He cut her off with the shake of his head.

"Not here, Nyphadora."

"Whose blood is this, Remus?" Her dark eyes met his. He felt sick. Taking the seat by her bed, he held her hand. "Please Remus, I need to know."

"Bellatrix." That one word, quietly spoken, brought it flooding back to her. Her mother's departure, the parchment, how Remus had argued with her so fiercely, how she had set off alone to talk to Bellatrix. To _talk_ to her. Tonks gave a gasp. She put her hands to her mouth, partially out of shock but also to stop herself being sick.

"Oh no, oh no, oh no," she whispered to herself. "What have I done?" she choked through a sob. Remus sat quietly, stroking her hand. He knew he did not have to say anything else. Tonks rocked gently, bringing her knees to her chest.

"You were right," she muttered after a while. "I wish you hadn't told me."

* * *

Tonks was released from St Mungo's Hospital the next day. She had barely spoken a work since the revelation and this caused further concern from her two friends. Remus had spoken to Dumbledore, who had insisted that Tonks take time off. She agreed that a week would suffice but refused to leave her classes for longer than that, especially if Snape would be covering. Remus had then told her firmly that she was to stay at Grimmauld Place, and he would watch over her. Tonks had reluctantly agreed to this.

Once at Grimmauld Place, Tonks had sat herself in the chair by the fire in the kitchen, with a blanket over her curled up knees and a bottle of Firewhiskey in her hands. It was such a similar situation to when Tonks had left St Mungo's the previous summer, but this time she felt a great deal worse. The Order Members that flitted in and out of Headquarters rarely spoke to her for none of them knew the truth. Remus had told them that Tonks was suffering from a very bad case of the flu, and that she would be grateful to be left alone. Her constant drinking was causing suspicion, however. It was because of this that Remus decided to broach the subject. It was a Saturday afternoon Remus and Tonks were alone in the kitchen. Lupin sat at the table, watching his frail friend wash her hands in the kitchen sink (she had done that a lot since she had left hospital) and wishing he knew how to start the conversation.

"Nymphadora…" Ok probably not the best way to go, but it was a start. She turned to him and glared. "I think we need to talk." She shook her head and returned to her hand washing. He sighed and stood up abruptly. Marching over to her, he took her dripping hands from under the cold running water and held them desperately in his own.

"Would you stop! Please Nymphadora, you need help."

"What I need, _Remus,_ is another drink." She snatched her hands away. He gave a growl of impatience and followed her back to the table.

"This isn't helping Dora. You shouldn't be drinking on your medication, full stop! And yet you've not been sober since you arrived back here. Are you trying to get yourself killed!" The hand she had been pouring her drink with slammed down on the table in frustration, causing the glass to smash and slit her skin. She winced and drew her hand away. Walking back over to the sink she turned on the tap and watched as her own blood mixed with the cold water and into the bottom of the basin. As Remus neared he saw that her hand was trembling.

"Let me take a look at that," he said quietly.

"I'm fine." Her comment had meant to come out firmly but she whimpered, knowing that she couldn't keep the charade up much longer. He took her hand again, looking for glass and finding none.

"Nymphadora –"

"Stop… please don't Remus. I can't."

"I'm worried about you. Harry's worried about you."

"Harry." She whispered his name then looked up to meet her friend's eyes. "Remus, what must he think of me?"

"He loves you, Nymphadora. Nothing you could say or do would make him feel any different." She shook her head and gave a sob.

"He should hate me. If he only knew how I was feeling he would! He loves me because I killed _her_; my Aunt Bella. If he knew the truth he…" She shook her head again and turned away from her friend.

"What Tonks? What are you feeling?"

"I never meant to kill her!" she shouted, taking him by surprise. "You probably think I did. You wanted to, so did Harry but not me! I … I only wanted to talk to her Remus. And now I'm as bad as she is!" Her confession left a stunned silence in the kitchen. Remus went to sit down but decided against it.

"Why couldn't you have stayed here? Why did you bring Harry! Harry, of all people! What were you thinking, Remus!" she shouted at him angrily. It hurt her so much to do so but she didn't care. Blaming him would feel so much better than blaming herself.

"I wasn't, ok? I wasn't thinking. I was worried about you!" he said in exasperation. "You could have been killed."

"He could have been!"

"You could have been killed!"

"He could have been killed!" she repeated her argument again. They stared at each other for some time, both trembling with anger. Remus cracked first. He sighed and looked to the floor, rubbing his hand across his forehead wearily.

"I'm so sorry Nymphadora. This is all my fault. If I could change things I would. And I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through. But seeing you there on that barn floor… I thought you were dead…" he couldn't go on and Tonks' anger began to fade.

"Well I'm not, I'm ok."

"Only because Lestrange was too weak to finish you off," he pointed out bluntly.

"Maybe she just didn't have it in her. Maybe she didn't mean it." Remus gave her a disbelieving look and scoffed. Seeing the anguish in her face her sighed apologetically.

"I'm sorry, it's just … I hate her, I really do. If I had lost you I don't know what I would have done. I can't keep losing people that I love, Dora. It's killing me! It would have been my entire fault, and I can't cope with that. It's my fault that you are in this much pain and I am so sorry, Nymphadora, I really am. So if you want me to leave and never come back, then that's fine I will. Scream at me, slap me. Whatever you decided to do, I will deserve it."

However what she did next surprised him. She took his face in both of her cold, damp hands and kissed him quickly and softly. They broke apart, looking as stunned as each other. Tonks brought her hands to her face in embarrassment.

"I'm so sorry. I really don't know where that came from. I'm sorry," she rambled. He shook his head and looked away, giving an uncomfortable cough.

"Don't worry about it," he mumbled.

"Really, Remus I am so sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable. I've freaked you out haven't I? Oh God, I've freaked you out!" He looked up and his grey eyes met hers. They were unmorphed and full of such pain that it broke his heart.

"No," he whispered and then leant in and kissed her again, this time longer and deeper. She was surprised at first, then decided not to complain and returned the kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck and drawing him closer. He let out an involuntary groan and her insides tingled.

"Hope I'm not interrupting anything." A cold voice broke them apart suddenly, whirling them both around to the stairs. Severus Snape stood there, a mixture of amusement and disgust on his face. Lupin turned away quickly, refusing to look at his old classmate. Tonks went to speak but found it very difficult. _What's his name? Sss, Sev …_

"Snape," she managed finally, "What do you want?" The man just looked at her.

"You know very well what I am here for, Tonks," he stated. She suddenly felt very stupid as she remembered the lesson plans she had left for him on the kitchen table. She snatched them up irritably and strode over to him.

"Here!" she pushed them into his outstretched hand. He eyed her closely and she hoped he wouldn't see her blushing.

"Are you drunk?" he asked. She swallowed hard and looked to the floor. "Explains a lot," he muttered, opening the piece of parchment. _Does he have to read it here? _Tonks thought in annoyance, and gave a glance at Remus who was still studying the sideboard intently. Snape looked at Tonks, smirking as he saw her eyes fall on Remus.

"Homework?"

"Er.." _Work brain, work!_ "Yeah, collect it in their first lessons back. Don't bother marking any of it, I'll do it." Snape gave her a sure-you-can-manage-it look and then sneered.

"I meant do I set homework."

"Oh right. No don't bother." He stared at her. "I mean it, Snape. And don't you go bullying them either, especially the First Years. They are terrified of you."

"Fine," he muttered but she knew he didn't mean it. He folded the piece of parchment slowly, keeping his eyes on Lupin, then started back up the stairs.

"Well, have a good week." He smirked at his own comment and left the kitchen, leaving silence behind him. Tonks and Remus stood apart, uncomfortably. They made eye contact briefly, and then broke it as quickly as it was made. The sound of dragging feet made them both look up. It was Harry. _Why couldn't he have interrupted us?_ Remus thought miserably. _Why Snape? Hell, why did I have to kiss her at all!_

"Was that Snape? What was he doing here? I was gonna put some food on, are you two hungry?" Harry frowned as he reached the bottom step. Neither adult spoke. "What's going on?" he asked.

"Nothing," they said together. Tonks glanced at Remus and looked away before he glanced back.

"Are you two arguing again?"

"No," they answered in unison again.

"You two need your heads banging together." His words made Tonks smile. Remus cleared his throat.

"I'm off upstairs," he announced, then climbed the stairs without giving either of them a second glance. Tonks cringed and hid her face with her hands. Harry looked at her obliviously.

"So…macaroni cheese ok?"

A/N: There, happy now? You might have guessed I'm a fan of macaroni cheese as this is the second time Harry's mentioned it. Still have two assignments to do but you've squashed any motivation I had and I'm gonna go write the next chapter now. Like I said, damn you reviewers! Love yaz :D


	18. What I go to school for

A/N: Busted lyrics aren't mine. I'm not a fan, I just thought they would be funny to use! Sorry if I've confused any of you guys, when Tonks kissed Remus in the last chapter she was in fact still with Charlie. I should have made that clearer. It is mentioned in this chapter, and you'll get to see his reaction in the next. And I have to say now that I love Harry in this chapter! (Lupin's still my fave though, shhh)

A knock came at the door.

"Remus?" It was Harry. Remus lay on his bed with a pillow over his head. He groaned a response and Harry entered. He held a pint of water in his hand, though Remus could not see this.

"Um…are you ok?" the boy asked.

"Yes, I'm fine Harry, thank you," came the muffled response.

"Are you coming down for tea? I burnt the macaroni cheese so Tonks sent me out for pizza." Remus thought it was very irresponsible of Tonks to send Harry out for pizza by himself, then remembered that he had taken the boy along to confront one of the world's most powerful Death Eaters. He decided to keep quiet about it.

"I'm not hungry," he replied. He heard Harry's footsteps nearer the bed.

"Have I done something wrong? Are you mad at me?" Harry asked tentatively. He could barely hear Lupin's sigh from under the pillow.

"No Harry, it's not you."

"Tonks then?" A pause.

"It's not Tonks either. It's me."

"Oh ok." Harry decided to leave it at that. "Well, are you coming down or not? It's my last night here before I have to go back to school, it would be nice to spend some time with you," the boy admitted. Remus removed the pillow from his face and put it on his stomach.

"Yeah, ok." He didn't move. Harry felt like a parent trying to drag a child out of bed to go to school. He looked down at Remus expectantly. "Alright, alright I'm coming." Remus threw the pillow at Harry and he caught it with his free hand, managing not to spill the water. He gave a grin.

"Great!"

Harry led the way to the drawing room. He opened the door just as Tonks was pouring herself a rather large glass of white wine. She drained the bottle and looked up as her two friends entered. Harry gave a gasp.

"Tonks! NO!" He pelted across the room, spilling the water as he went and slipping on the wooden surface. She gave a squeal and grabbed her glass before he had chance to reach her. Remus gave a little smile from the doorway as he saw the boy chasing his teacher around the coffee table in the middle of the room.

"No! This here…" he held out the glass of water as he ran, "this is for you! Stop it!" he growled a laugh as she took a huge sip from her own glass while running, causing herself to choke. She stopped and he ran into her.

"Ok, ok fine! This was gonna be my last glass anyway. There's no more in the house after this piss-poor excuse for wine," she remarked and Harry rolled his eyes. She went for it again when he wasn't looking and he turned round to give her a slap on the back of her hand. He shoved the glass of water in front of her and grabbed the wine glass off her.

"She was drinking it out of a pint glass earlier," he told Remus "She such a classy lady!" When Tonks tried to snatch it back he stepped to the side and drank the contents rapidly. Tonks' eyes widened.

"Harry!"

"Oh my god, that's foul!" he choked with a gasp. Tonks smirked in amusement.

"Ha, I hope you're sick!"

They sat down on the sofa and Remus took the chair. He noticed that she wore a pair of rather small shorts, which showed off her long, smooth legs and a navy hoodie that was rather big for her. Remus recognised it to be Harry's. She looked at Remus and he gave a little smile but said nothing.

"I'm worn out now. That was unfair Harry, I'm not well. You're supposed to be looking after me!" He grinned in response and handed her the pizza box. She snatched it off him and opened it. "You know, I don't think I'm gonna be able to eat this. I think I'll be sick."

"Well Remus isn't eating and I can't eat it all by myself, so you're going to have to help." Tonks didn't need much persuading, as she picked up a slice and passed the box to Harry. They both brought their slices to their mouths then lowered them. Tonks picked off her tomatoes and put them on to Harry's slice. He took off his mushrooms and placed them on hers. She gave a little giggle.

"Tomatoes taste like –"

"Guts, I know Tonks," Harry finished for her. "And mushrooms taste like –"

"Slugs," she finished with a grin.

"Must we have this conversation every mealtime?" Remus asked from his chair, though he was smiling at the both of them. He had to admit that having Tonks and Harry in his life was the best thing that had happened to him in a long time; it was like having a family again.

"Yes!" they said together and laughed again. They carried on eating in silence. Tonks gave up after her second slice, saying that she would rather not see it again later in the evening, to which Harry had replied, "Thanks for that Tonks, that's gross!"

Remus was reading in his chair, Tonks was humming absently to herself and Harry was chewing thoughtfully on his pizza. Tonks spoke up after a while.

"I'm bored Harry, sing me a song." He swallowed a mouthful and gave her a quizzical look. "Oh come on! You must know one song. Sing for me."

"No," he laughed. "Tonks you're as drunk as a skunk! Shut up. In fact, go to bed." She gave a hurtful look and began to sniff from her end of the sofa.

"Fine! Um…_Jeremiah was a bullfrog_ –"

"No! Anything but that," Remus protested. Tonks gave a giggle. Harry huffed.

"Fine!" he sulked indignantly. "Oh I know… _Her voice is echoed in my mind, I count the day till she is mine…_" he began to sing. Tonks let out a howl of laughter and kicked him from the other end of the sofa.

"What song is that?" Remus asked.

"_What I Go To School For_," Harry replied with a grin. Tonks was wiping her tears on her sleeve.

"Carry on," she squeaked.

"Um… _I can't tell my friends coz they will laugh, I love a member of the staff. And I fight my way to front of class to get the best view of her ass_." Remus gave a laugh.

"_I drop a pencil on the floor, and she bends down and shows me more! That's what I go to school for…_"

"Stop it, I'll wet myself!" Tonks squealed. Harry stopped with a grin.

"I'm sorry, was that inappropriate?" Harry said mock-innocently. Tonks stuck her tongue out at him and he laughed. He grabbed at another piece of pizza and began to eat it before Tonks could ask him to sing again.

"I love you Harry," Tonks said quietly. He looked across at her in shock and she gave him a timid smile.

"No one's ever said that to me before," he admitted, that he could remember anyway. He assumed that his parents had loved him, and Sirius too though he had never actually said it.

"Well I'm saying it now." Tonks stared into her glass. Harry smiled and went back to his food.

"Can I just say," he mumbled through a mouthful. They both looked at him and he pointed at his mouth, chewing fast and then swallowing quickly. "I'll say it now. You guys are the best. You've made me feel like I actually have a family for the first time in my life. And sure you won't replace my mum and dad, or Sirius, but I'm really grateful that you have taken me in. And I hate it when you two fight, and have these 'moments' between the two of you," Tonks looked at Remus and met his eye. They both looked back at Harry as he continued. "So pleased don't fight… and no going off and getting yourselves killed either," he added and took another bite of pizza. "So…what's going on between you too?"

"Nothing," they said together and Harry laughed.

"Ok, if you say so."

As the evening drew to a close, Harry gave a yawn.

"Right I'm off to bed. Don't feel you have to get up in the morning to see me off Tonks, stay in bed ok? I'll see you in a week. Get better." He moved to the other end of the sofa and kissed her on the forehead. "Night Remus." He disappeared through the door leaving Tonks and Remus alone.

"Anyway, I should be heading off too," Remus said, standing to leave.

"Wait." He stopped in his tracks and turned to Tonks. "Remus, what happened earlier, could we just forget it? We've been avoiding each other ever since and it's so silly. I never meant for that to happen."

"I know," he replied, moving over to sit in Harry's vacant seat. "Me neither, I'm sorry." They sat in silence for a moment. Tonks gave a nervous giggle.

"Kinda hate Snape though, don't you?"

"Yeah," he laughed. "Then again, maybe we should thank him." They looked at each other.

"Nah," they said together and laughed.

"Right, I really should be getting to bed now. Got to catch the Knight bus tomorrow, not exactly my favourite mode of transport," he admitted and she gave a knowing nod. "Well, night then Nymphadora." He went to kiss her on the forehead like Harry had done, but thought better of it. She gave a giggle as he offered his hand, which she shook.

"Get going, you silly man. Sweet dreams."

* * *

The next morning, Harry entered the kitchen to find that Tonks and Remus were pretty much back to normal; well as normal as Tonks and Remus could get.

"Morning," he called from the stairs. "I thought I told you to stay in bed."

"Was already up, thought I might as well say goodbye," the witch said with a shrug. "Unless you don't want to see me of course." She stuck her bottom lip out at him and he laughed.

"You know I do," he said, ruffling her natural dark hair as he passed.

"What do you fancy for breakfast?" Remus asked from behind his Daily Prophet. He looked up to find the boy helping himself to last night's cold pizza. "Harry that's disgusting." The boy gave an impish smile. "What would Molly say if she saw you now?"

"Good job she's not then, isn't it." Tonks said to Remus with a grin. He shook his head and went back to his paper.

When Harry was dressed and ready to go, he hauled his things down the many flights of stairs in the house to the entrance hall where he saw Tonks and Remus waiting for him.

"Yeah, thanks for helping guys," he mumbled as he reached the final few steps. Tonks grinned and enveloped him in a hug.

"Oh I'm going to miss you so much."

"I'll see you in a week!" Harry reasoned.

"But still! Look after yourself. If Snape's a git tell him to F off. No wait don't," she added as she saw Remus give her a disapproving look. "What? We hate him remember?" Remus smiled at her, blushing slightly. Harry looked between them, frowning in confusion. Tonks tried to do Harry's coat up but he batted her away.

"Tonks, I'm not a kid!"

"It's cold out, Harry. Wrap up warm." She handed him a scarf.

"Yes mother," he teased and kissed her on the cheek. "See you in a week."

"Be careful," she said as they opened the door. Remus turned to her. "Look after him," she added and he nodded.

"You know I will, Nymphadora. I'll see you when I get back."

She waved to them from the doorstep, and then turned to close the door as the house disappeared from out of sight.

Once on the street, Harry did up his coat. Tonks had been right it was freezing out! He looked over at Remus who was surveying the street intently.

"So, are we getting the Knight Bus?"

"Yes, but not from here. We should walk a block or two first. Just to be safe." The pair set off at a steady pace, down the snowy streets. Harry felt Remus stiffen as people would walk past. The boy was uncomfortable with the silence but knew that Remus wouldn't relax until they got on the triple-decker bus, so he kept quiet and put his hands in his pockets, wishing he had brought gloves. After they had walked for about ten minutes they reached a deserted cul-de-sac, which was so similar to Grimmauld Place that Harry thought they had gone around in a circle until he gave it a closer inspection. Remus stopped abruptly.

"Ok, Harry. This is far enough." Harry was relieved to hear this, as his toes were now numb from his soaked shoes. Remus stuck out his wand arm and the large purple bus appeared instantly.

"Welcome to the –"

"Thank you, Stan." Remus cut him off. "Come on Harry." The boy obeyed and stepped onto the bus. After a brief conversation with Stan (who liked to think he and Harry were very close friends) Remus led the boy to a squashy sofa near the back of the almost-empty second tier as the bus carried on its journey. Once sat down, Harry undid his coat and watched as the bus jumped from city to countryside within seconds.

"It's going to be quiet without you around," Remus was saying. "I don't know when I'll get to see you again."

"I'll write," Harry told the man. "And you have Tonks, for this week at least. I hate leaving you behind. Sirius did this too, made me feel guilty. I think he wanted me to drop out of school and sit around with him all day." Harry paused wondering that if he had, would Sirius still be alive? Remus gave a light laugh.

"I'm not trying to make you feel guilty, Harry. Unlike Sirius, I do realise that school is important." He gave a sad sigh. "I miss him."

"Me too." Harry said quietly. They travelled on. The ride was bumpy and Harry began to wish he hadn't eaten that pizza for breakfast.

"Tonks is looking better," he said, starting up a conversation. "When she's not drunk I mean."

"Yes she is," Remus nodded in agreement. "But I don't think it's truly hit her yet. I still worry about her. She puts on a brave face but who knows what's going on in that head of hers."

"Well, at least she has Charlie," Harry said absently to the window.

"Yes, at least she has Charlie," Remus muttered an echo. Harry turned to look at him and Remus was worried what the boy had heard in voice.

"Do you think she'll go to Azkaban? If she gets found out I mean."

"I hope it won't come to that Harry."

"We can't let that happen," Harry said firmly. "I don't think she'd cope."

"No, I don't suppose she would," Remus agreed quietly.

They sat in silence again, listening to the noise of the bus and its passengers. Stan Shunpike's voice could be heard from the lower level at every stop they made. Remus wondered absently if the lad ever got bored of saying his spiel. He had noticed that Stan still read off a card and thought that he really should have learnt it by now.

"So, what's going on with you and Tonks?" Harry's question made Lupin turn his head sharply to the boy.

"Nothing, why?" he said rather quickly.

"Oh come off it, Remus! You hardly said a word to each other last night. And I'm supposed to believe you weren't fighting?" He looked over at the man beside him, who had hung his head and was staring intently at a hole in his over coat.

"Unless…no way!"

"Harry –"

"Oh my god!" Harry squealed in a very Hermione-like way. "What happened between you two?"

"Harry –"

"Did you kiss her?"

"No … well … yes. But she kissed me first." Harry gave a gasp of excitement, a grin spread across his face. Remus, on the other hand, did not look as happy and told Harry to shush as his laugh gained the attention of an old witch sitting a few seats in front of them. She turned back around and fell asleep.

"This is great… well… not for Charlie," he added, "But for you, definitely. Way to go!"

"Harry!" Remus finally got the boy's attention. "Listen, nothing is going on between Nymphadora and myself. I'm sorry to disappoint you," he said as he saw the boy's grin fade. "But we are friends and will remain friends. So I'd appreciate it if you didn't go spreading this around."

"You're right, I'm sorry… so what was it like?" Remus gave a groan. "Was she drunk? I bet she was! Did you take advantage of her? Tut tut Remus, that's not like you." Remus had to laugh. The boy reminded him so much of Sirius, it was uncanny. "What happened after? Come on, you have to tell me! Did you stop the kiss? Did she?"

"We were interrupted by Snape if you must know."

"Snape!" Harry howled a laugh. "This gets better and better!"

"I'm glad my life amuses you so much, Harry."

"Guess you weren't too pleased with him last night! I wonder what would have happened if he hadn't walked it. Git."

"Harry!" Remus chided, but a part of him had been thinking the very same thing the night before. Harry chuckled to himself for a great deal of the journey. Remus was wondering how much longer it was going to take. He couldn't cope with any more questions, especially from Harry!

"You guys are so stupid," Harry said to himself, still grinning. "I mean, come on, you would be perfect for each other. Stop shaking you're head Remus, you know it's true."

"We're friends Harry."

"Phht, friends!"

"Yes Harry, friends. And we don't always get on then. Believe me, this is for the best." But Harry shook his head, still unconvinced.

"Nah, you see I think you're wrong there … I mean take my relationship with Hermione."

"You're relationship with Hermione?"

"Yes. _We_ are friends. She's smart, and funny sometimes, and kinda pretty I guess, I dunno I don't really think of her like that. I love her to bits but sometimes I just wanna knock her head against a brick wall! But with you and Tonks … well she's smart-ish, definitely funny, and she's a stunner, you can't deny that! And you love her too. But whereas I'm there banging Hermione's head against a wall … you pretty much wanna bang Tonks against a wall!"

"Harry!" Remus was rather surprised that Harry would come out with something like that, to him of all people.

"Whatever, Remus. You know it's true!" Harry said casually with a smirk.

When the bus reached Hogsmeade, Remus was more than relieved. As much as he knew he was going to miss Harry, he was rather uncomfortable with Harry's relationship advice, and the way he kept glancing at him with a huge grin evident. As the bus disappeared with a bang, Harry turned to look at Hogwarts in the distance.

"You want me to walk you to the door?" Remus asked as they dragged the boy's trunk to the school gates. Harry shook his head.

"Nah, I'll be alright once I get in the grounds." They stopped at the gates and regarded each other for a long moment before stepping forward and embracing each other tightly. Harry couldn't remember ever doing it before, and wondered how he's gone so long without doing it. He bet Remus hugged Tonks all the time, and grinned at the thought.

"Stop grinning Harry," Remus said over Harry's shoulder. He gave a laugh.

"How'd you know I'm grinning?" They pulled apart.

"Because you're an idiot."

"Thanks Remus, you too."

"Look after yourself. And keep your mouth shut."

"Yeah, you too." The boy winked as he dragged his trunk through the school gates.

"Very funny," Remus called after him.

He watched Harry walked up the long school drive until he knew he was going to be ok. Then he looked over his shoulder, feeling someone's presences. He frowned, as he saw no one there. Looking back and finding that he could no longer see Harry, he Apperated back home to Grimmauld Place wishing he could shake Harry's grin from his mind and hoping that it wasn't contagious.


	19. Do you love him?

A/N: In this chapter we wave goodbye to our good friend Charlie Weasley. But do not fret, he will return in later chapters. I feel such a bitch, it's not that I don't like Charlie, I just like Remus more :)

Remus arrived back at Grimmauld Place feeling light hearted at Harry's recent words. He shook his head slightly as the house appeared before him, and climbed the stone steps. He closed the door quietly, not wanting to wake Mrs Black's sleeping portrait. Remus headed for the kitchen and hesitated as he heard voices below. Something in their tones made him stop. It was Tonks and Charlie.

"How did you expect me to take it, Dora?" Remus heard the young man say, his tone harsh. There was a slight pause before Tonks answered in a voice so quiet that Remus could barely hear her.

"I don't know Chas, I'm sorry. I had to tell you though." Remus cringed and thought to move, but curiosity caused him to stay and listen.

"Well I wish youhadn't!" Charlie shouted.

"You don't mean that Charlie. What, would you rather I lied to you? Kept quiet?"

"I'd rather you didn't go around kissing other guys behind my back, Dora. That's what I really want." Remus heard Tonks give a sob and realised she was crying. He felt guilt fill him.

"Do you love him?" Charlie's abrupt question caused Remus' mouth to drop. Did he really want to hear her answer? Too late, for she answered quickly.

"No," a pause and then, "I…I don't know. I'm so sorry Charlie." Silence filled the kitchen and Remus was very aware of the fact that he was breathing loudly and hoped that they couldn't hear.

"You know what…fine Dora, forget it! Forget us! I don't have to put up with this, you know?"

"I know," she whimpered.

"And what hurts the most is that you could speak to him when something was bothering you. You went to him and not me. The kiss…_that_ I could get over. You said it meant nothing –"

"It _did_ mean nothing!"

" – But you've been acting so weird recently, and Kingsley said you've been ill but I wasn't allowed to see you. Then you started drinking… What's really going on Dora?" he demanded. Remus half expected Tonks to confess all to Charlie. Would he understand? _Probably_, he mused, _he cares a lot about her._

"Charlie … I can't tell you. You wouldn't understand." Tonks' voice sounded small and frail, as if she was about to break.

"But you could tell Remus! Did he understand?" Tonks had no reply. Charlie gave a bitter laugh. "That's just great. Well, see you around Dora. I'm off to Romania. Thanks for making that decision so much easier for me!" Remus heard the scraping of a chair.

"No Charlie, please don't go. I love you."

"And I loved you too, Dora," Charlie's voice said quietly. Tonks gave another sob. Remus heard footsteps on the stairs and moved out of sight, not wanting to get involved in the conflict.

"I hope you're happy Dora. You and your werewolf."

Charlie left the house, slamming the door as he went. Mrs Black awoke with a wail.

Remus contemplated closing the curtains over the portrait, then contemplated going down to comfort Tonks. He decided to do neither, and climbed the stairs to his room leaving Mrs Black to shriek and a broken hearted witch to cry alone.

* * *

When Remus entered the kitchen that afternoon he found Tonks sat there alone and guessed she hadn't moved. Tonks was absentmindedly fingering an empty glass in front of her. She looked up as he entered, then lowered her head back down to the table, wiping her face quickly with a hand.

"You ok?" he asked timidly.

"No," she said shortly. Remus stayed by the stairs, not wanting to invade her misery.

"Go away," she mumbled to the table, but he did not move.

"Nymphadora –" The sound of her name angered her. She cut him short by throwing her empty glass at him. It missed, but shattered on the wall close by. He flinched but didn't react otherwise. This frustrated her more. Finding nothing else to throw on the table in front of her, she shouted out and banged both fists on the table. Her shoulders rose and fell with sobs. Remus crossed to her.

"Nymphadora –"

"Stop it!" she hissed. "Just piss off!" She hit the table again for the final time before throwing her head into her arms. Tonks thought Remus had left until she felt him sit beside her. He stroked her back and she gave a shuddered breath.

"I'm so sick of this Remus," she admitted. "I'm so sick of crying all the time! This isn't me. I hate it. I hate this war. I hate this fucking Order … and more than anything I hate myself! I've messed things up so bad." She fell silent again, expecting Remus to disagree.

"Yeah, you're right," he said and she sobbed a laugh.

"Mamma was right, I shouldn't be here. If I had left with her none of this would have happened. I thought I could cope but I can't. I shouldn't be here," she repeated. Remus looked at her intently but she refused to meet his gaze.

"Remus, I'm going to Canada."

"You can't go to Canada Tonks, that's absurd."

"Why is it? What have I got to stay for?"

"Your job, Harry … me." This made Tonks smile but she shook her head.

"Say I did stay, it's only a matter of time before Auror come sniffing around suspecting something. No, I should leave now before it's too late."

Remus rose from beside her. He headed for the stairs and turned to look back at her. She thought he was angry, but on seeing his eyes she realised he was sad and troubled.

"If that's what you want Nymphadora, I can't stop you. Just promise me you'll sleep on it first." She gave him a reluctant nod.

"Ok, I'll sleep on it."

He nodded in return and climbed the stairs.

"Remus," she called after him and he stopped. "Thanks."

"For what?"

"For understanding." Remus wasn't sure that he did understand but he offered her a smile and left the room.

* * *

That evening Kingsley Shacklebolt arrived looking for Tonks. He seemed agitated and she knew what he wanted to talk about; Bellatrix Lestrange.

"You're in serious trouble," he announced as he entered the drawing room.

"I know."

"No, I don't think you do. They are talking in the office. So far it's just rumours and gossip but it won't be long until the truth comes out what happened with Lestrange." He noticed Tonks was trembling slightly but continued nonetheless. "Mad-Eye suspects, of course. In fact he probably knows but he has sense to keep quiet. I Obliviated the wizard that found the knife with you're fingerprints on, I only hope that's enough to keep you out of Azkaban."

"I don't care anymore, Kingsley. I really don't care! Let them know the truth, let them put me in Azkaban. I deserve it." Kingsley stood staring in disbelief. Tonks took a few deep breaths to rid herself of the fear that had crept into the pit of her stomach.

"You don't mean that, Tonks. I know you don't," Kingsley insisted in his deep voice.

"What if they find out about your involvement? What if they fire you?" she asked quietly. He shook his head.

"They won't. I know how to watch my back and yours at the same time, Merlin knows I've been doing it a while." He gave her a smile and she was filled with such a sense of gratitude that she pulled him into an embrace.

"Thank you Kingsley, I mean it. Thank you so much."

"What are friends for?" he muttered into the top of her dark hair.

"Yeah," she whispered, thinking at that moment of Remus and Harry, and wondering how she had even considered leaving them behind.

Kingsley had left Grimmauld Place, leaving Tonks to mull things over in her mind. Of course she didn't want to go to Azkaban, or even Canada for that matter, she was just desperate to stop this downward spiral that had taken over her life. As she left the drawing room, her mind still miles away, she bumped into someone who brought her back to reality. It was Remus. He had been reading a book as he walked.

"Oh, sorry. Wasn't paying attention."

"Me neither," she admitted. They stepped to the same side of the corridor and laughed nervously, then both moved to the other side and laughed again. Remus managed to shuffle past Tonks. He turned to her.

"You look happier," he noted and she nodded.

"Yeah, just been thinking some things through."

"Good." They stood in uncomfortable silence. "Well, thanks for the dance. Maybe next time I could lead," he joked.

"Sure." She offered him a smile and licked her lips nervously. A moment later she felt Remus' upon them and wondered how on earth it had happened. Had she just kissed him again? Had he kissed her? He put both arms around her waist, dropping his book with a thud on the floor. Tonks snaked her arms behind his neck, and pulled him in to close the gap between their bodies. _Just wait for Snape to burst in_, Tonks thought then told herself to shut up and focus on what she was doing. Snape never did burst in however, and they kissed for what felt like forever until Remus pulled away first. They stood staring at each other, breathing heavily. Tonks' cheeks flushed pink as her eyes met him. She looked to the floor.

"We should stop doing that," she heard him say and he carried on down the corridor. Tonks noticed he had left his book and turned around to call him, but Remus had already disappeared around the corner. She picked it up from the floor with a sigh, and took it back to her room with her, smiling as she went.

* * *

It was late at night and Remus was sat in bed wishing he had his book and wishing he could get a certain sentence out of his mind. _You pretty much wanna bang Tonks against a wall! _Remus sighed in annoyance, as the boy's words would not leave his head. _Shut up Harry!_ Of course he did not want to 'bang Tonks against a wall' as Harry had so charmingly put it. She was his friend, a very close friend. In fact he even thought of her as his best friend, though a part of him was not yet ready to announce this. Sirius was still his best friend as far as he was concerned. Remus rolled over, giving a sigh of resignation and decided he would try to sleep.

_You pretty much wanna bang Tonks against a wall!  
__Shut up!_

A knock came at his door. He sat up and frowned. Doubting very much that it was Buckbeak, he guessed who it was before she even spoke.

"Remus?"

"Nymphadora, what's wrong?" He climbed out of bed and went over to the door. There she stood, dressed in Harry's hoodie and those ridiculously small shorts. Remus tried not to stare at her legs and instead looked up to her face. She seemed to be surveying him also. He wore a pair of black slacks and a faded grey t-shirt, which stretched over his chest. Tonks' eyes snapped up to his as she realised she was staring.

"I had a bad dream," she said quietly. Remus felt like her father, and then tried very hard to get that idea out of his head.

"Nymphadora, it's only 11:30. Are you telling me that in that time you've already fallen asleep and had a bad dream?" She nodded quickly in confirmation. He gave a sigh and ran a hand over his tired eyes.

"Can I sleep in with you?" she asked timidly.

_You pretty much wanna bang Tonks against a wall!  
__Stop it!_

"I don't think that's such a good idea, do you?" The girl's face fell.

"No, I guess you're right. I'll go sleep on the settee then. Sorry if I woke you." She turned to leave and he gave another sigh. Turning to him she noticed him push the door open further.

"Yay!" she cheered quietly, not wanting to brag about her victory, and ducked under his arm to enter the room.

Once inside she sat on the end of his bed. He shut the door and turned to her, wondering what Harry would be saying if he knew they were sharing a room for the night.

"Hey, I brought your book back," Tonks was saying. She removed it from the front pocket on the hoodie and handed it over to him.

"Oh, thank you. Well, you go to sleep," he indicated to the bed in which she was sat on. "I'll be in the chair if you need me."

She gave a little giggle at his discomfort.

"Oh don't be silly Remus! Have you never shared a bed with a friend before?" _Not a friend like you! _"Come on I don't bite. Sorry, wrong choice of words." She grinned up at him. Remus gave in and sat at the other end of the bed. She shuffled up to him and he swallowed. Tonks rested her head against his shoulder and he braced himself. Her pink hair tickled his chin.

"So… you're morphing again now?" he asked by way of conversation. He felt her nod but she didn't speak. "Well, that's good. I mean… not good, you looked fine as you were. Well better than fine really, but I know how you can be with the whole morphing thing," he rambled. Tonks gave a giggle and looked up at him with her electric blue eyes.

"What's the matter with you tonight?"

_You pretty much wanna bang Tonks against a wall!_

"Nothing, I'm fine…. I am fine! Go to sleep Nymphadora."

She grabbed the top of his blanket and pulled it up to her chin. They were silent for a while and Remus thought she was asleep. Her chest rose and fell steadily against his.

"Remus?" she asked quietly. He put down his book.

"Yes Nymphadora?"

"Why do you call me Nymphadora?" Was this her question? Or had she just thought it up on the spot? Either way he shrugged.

"It's your name."

"My name is Tonks."

"Well I don't like Tonks."

"I don't like Nymphadora!" Remus gave a laugh.

"I like it," he said simply and they fell silent again. Remus felt her shift uncomfortably by his side. He looked down from his book to find her staring at him.

"What?" he sighed.

"Just thinking."

"Well don't it's dangerous, especially from you …What were you thinking?"

"That you're a good kisser." Her confession made him falter. He could feel his face getting hot.

"Oh, thanks." _Oh, thanks? Oh, thanks! You idiot!_ She smiled at him and snuggled up closer to him. He put down his book and lay there, hoping he was dreaming and that he would wake up alone as he always did. _But you hate waking up alone_, he told himself, _be grateful that you get to sleep beside this beautiful woman even if it is one night. Shut up brain, you're as bad as Harry! Well, maybe Harry's right._ He shook his head at his own thought.

"Dora," he said suddenly without meaning to. If it reminded her of Charlie she didn't mention it.

"Hmm?"

"Do you love me?"

"What?" His sudden question made her sit up, pushing up from his chest with her hands.

"I… I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked. It's just when Charlie asked you earlier you said you didn't know." He saw her mouth drop open in the dim light.

"You heard that!" Remus suddenly wished he hadn't said anything. Tonks scrambled up and sat with her legs sprawled in the middle of the bed. "Oh God, I'm so sorry Remus." He was staring at her now, her naked legs taking up most of the room. He had the sudden urge to reach out and see if they were as smooth and soft as they looked, and was horrified to realise that he actually had! Tonks shuddered a breath causing Remus to remove his trembling hand.

"I'm sorry –" he began to whisper. Tonks cut him off by cupping his face with both hands and kissing him slowly and deeply. She leaned towards him and Remus felt himself lying backwards as she pressed her body against him. He could feel his heart beating faster and knew hers would be doing the same. Tonks moved her hands from Remus' face and ran them down his chest to his abdomen. He gave a little gasp and she smiled. She pulled away from him slightly, so that her lips brushed against his as she whispered.

"Do you want this?" She felt him nod and breathed a sigh before pressing her lips against his again firmly. He gave a groan and moved his hands up underneath her top to caress her bare back underneath.

"Remus?"

"Yes," he breathed.

"Do you want me to answer your question now?" She didn't wait for a reply.

A/N: I did write more to this little 'love scene' we have going on, but it made me giggle uncomfortably when I read it so I took it out and left any sexual happenings as 'implied'. Cheers :)


	20. The morning after

Disclaimer: Haven't done one of these for a while. I still don't own Harry Potter and it is still a shame.

The room was dark and still. It was early, probably around 3am, Tonks guessed. She lay motionless in bed, not her bed she reminded herself, and listened to the sound of her own breathing. Was she alone? It was too dark for her to see if Remus lay beside her or not. Tonks considered reaching out but was embarrassed in case she touched something she shouldn't. _Get real; you just slept with the guy!_

"You still there?" she whispered. Remus must have been awake as he answered immediately.

"No."

Tonks gave a giggle, and was surprised when she felt his arm curl around her naked body. She felt skin on skin and blushed, though she was relieved that he couldn't see. Remus kissed her lightly on her shoulder and pulled her closer into a hug; a friendly hug, a brotherly hug. Tonks gave a cringe. _What have we done!_ As if reading her very thoughts, Remus echoed her.

"What are we playing at?" he asked quietly, his voice filled with obvious regret. Tonks kept quiet for a moment, then realised she should at least attempt a reply.

"Well Mr Lupin, there are many names for what we've just done." He gave a light laugh and poked her in the ribs making her giggle again. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I joke when I'm uncomfortable."

Remus paused this time. Tonks felt him swallow.

"Are you uncomfortable?" he asked her after a while. Tonks indeed felt uncomfortable, even more so now he had asked. Instead, she chose to answer literally.

"No, you're bed is much more comfier than mine. Hell, I think even Buckbeak's bed is better!" Not feeling entirely satisfied with her answer, Remus just gave a little smile, which went unseen. The couple lay together in silence. Tonks could feel the man's rough stubble against her shoulder. She had never been one for facial hair, but she had to admit that it felt nice. She closed her eyes and lay there, listening to her friend breathing softly beside her. Remus thought she had fallen asleep again until she spoke once more.

"Remus…do you think I could put my clothes back on now?" He gave a nervous chuckle and she felt him nod.

"I was just about to ask the same thing."

"Oh… About me?"

"No, about myself."

Neither stirred for a moment, then Tonks decided to make the first move. She stood and felt around the dimly lit floor for her top and skimpy shorts. She heard Remus moving too, on the other side of the bed. He finished first and got back into bed. Tonks hesitated.

"Um…can I get back in?"

"Of course, just don't try anything," he joked and felt her weight return to his bed. She snuggled up to him again and lay still.

"Well…"

"Well…"

"Well…"

"Stop it Nymphadora."

"Sorry."

Remus had to grin. Here he was with an incredibly beautiful witch lying beside him, which he had to admit didn't happen often, and all they could do was joke around like old mates. _That's because you are old mates!_ he told himself.

"You're my best friend," he blurted out without meaning to. Tonks squirmed around to face him, squinting in the weak light.

"You're my best friend too, Remus. I really hope I haven't fucked things up, if you'll excuse the pun." He kissed her on the forehead.

"No, of course not."

"Am I really you're best friend?" she asked, his revelation only just registering.

"Yes. I've been denying it for a while now, but the truth is that you Nymphadora Tonks are my best friend…I only hope Sirius would approve of his replacement. I don't doubt that he would." Tonks swallowed hard at the thought of her cousin. She knew Remus was still grieving, and he didn't mention Sirius often.

"What do you think Sirius would say if he found out about this?" Tonks asked.

"He'd probably beat me up," Remus admitted casually.

"He wants you to be happy Remus," Tonks told the man. "He told me to tell you to stop moping because you're pissing him off." Remus didn't react and Tonks worried that she'd upset him.

"When did he tell you this?"

"In the hospital," she replied simply. He gave a sigh.

"He's right, I really should stop moping. It's just… I feel guilty when I'm happy, or when I realise that I haven't thought about him for a while, you know?" Tonks gave a nod. "I hope he's happy, wherever he is," Remus finished sadly.

"I'm sure he is. You know, he's probably watching us right now. Pervy bastard," Tonks mumbled. Remus gave a snigger of a laugh then yawned.

"You know what Dora, you're probably right."

* * *

Tonks woke midmorning to find the other side of the bed empty. She ran her hand through her natural dark hair (when had it changed?) and morphed it to her trademark pink spikes. Having found the energy to get out of bed, she made her way down to the kitchen where she found Kingsley Shacklebolt and Mad-Eye Moody talking quietly together. Both men looked up as she entered.

"Morning Tonks, didn't know you were in," Kingsley said, offering a smile. The witch returned it briefly, and then her eyes fell on Moody. She opened her mouth to talk but he cut her off.

"Now then girl, don't feel you have to explain yourself to me. I know what's going on. I also know how hard Kingsley here is working to save your backside. So I hope you're grateful," he finished casually. Tonks nodded quickly.

"I am, Moody. I really am." She smiled at Kingsley again and went to pour herself some tea. The two Auror continued their conversation. When they paused, Tonks decided to interject.

"Where's Remus?" she asked, trying to sound as casual as she could.

"Dumbledore had something for him to take care of. He didn't really specify, only caught him leaving as we arrived," Kingsley told her.

"When do you think he'll be back?"

"I don't know Tonks, I'm not his bloody minder. Later this afternoon I should think." Tonks nodded, satisfied with Kingsley's answer.

But Remus didn't return that afternoon. The day passed slowly and Tonks wished she didn't feel so worried. _He'll be fine; he can take care of himself. You don't even know what he's up to. It's probably nothing._ It was late evening before Tonks heard the front door shut to. The winter sun had set hours ago. Tonks was incredibly tired but refused to go to bed until she knew Remus was home safe. She rose as he entered the kitchen. He looked tired, she noticed.

"Wotcher. Where have you been?" Her tone was not demanding but enquiring.

"Scotland," he replied simply, kissing her gently on the top of her head before heading for the kettle.

"Scotland?"

"Yes," he affirmed in such a tone that Tonks knew not to press it any further. "And I can tell you it's bloody freezing up there," he added as he sat opposite her at the long wooden table. There was a gap of silence between them, then

"Look," they said together. "You first. No, you." Remus laughed in resignation.

"Fine, I'll go first." He looked at his hands uncomfortably and took a deep breath. "You see, the thing is…last night … it shouldn't have happened and I'm so sorry that it did, not that it wasn't great or anything but it was a mistake and –"

"Remus, you're rambling." He took another deep breath at his friend's words.

"I hope I haven't upset you Nymphadora, that wasn't my intention at all. I don't know what came over me; I blame those tiny little shorts of yours to be honest. And Harry, in fact this is all his fault. Yes let's blame him." Tonks laughed lightly.

"Why are we blaming Harry exactly?" Remus froze, not really wanting to divulge his conversation with the boy. He shook his head dismissively.

"You must hate me," he muttered. It was her turn to shake her head. She reached across the table and took both his hands in hers.

"Of course not, you silly man. I feel exactly the same."

"You do?"

"Yes," she laughed. "Last night was great an' all but I don't really want to screw up our friendship. I like the way things are between us. I wouldn't change it for anything. Besides, I was kinda depressed about the whole 'Charlie' thing, so I guess you should be the one hating me. I shouldn't have used you like that."

"Ahh so that explains it. Why else would an incredibly beautiful young witch fall for an old werewolf like me?" She gave a laugh.

"Exactly!" Then her face became serious. "You are a great man Remus Lupin, and I don't deserve to have you as a friend." He brought one of her hands up to his lips and kissed it lightly.

"I know, I tell myself that every day," he joked. They sat quietly for a while, discussing Order business and wondering how Harry was getting on having Snape for two subjects that week.

"So, Scotland…" Tonks prompted after a while. Remus gave a little smirk from behind his mug of tea.

"I knew it wouldn't be long until you brought that up again."

"I'm a curious gal. What were you up to?" Remus lowered his mug.

"Digging for dirt on Lady Thompson," he admitted. Tonks had forgotten all about the female werewolf. Her mouth fell in surprise.

"Oh right. You find anything?" Remus shook his head slightly.

"No, but I didn't expect to. Her pack was rather secretive, wanted to keep themselves to themselves. Apparently Dumbledore is speaking to Lady this week. That reminds me, before I forget, he wants to see us both next Monday." Tonks frowned slightly.

"Wonder what he wants."

"Probably knows we've been up to something we shouldn't," Remus teased with a wink. "That man knows everything."

"Hopefully not _everything_!" Tonks cringed at the thought. "Guess we'll find out what he wants soon enough. I'll be back to work by then anyway so it's not as if I'll have to go out of my way." Remus looked disheartened at this. He hated living at Grimmauld Place by himself.

"We'll see," he said quietly.

"Remus, I feel fine," Tonks told him. She truly meant it too. Tonks was still on her Healing Potion twice a day, which helped a great deal. Sure, she was still suffering emotionally; at night time it was the worst. She hoped that being back at work might help her to move on and put the past behind her.

"You should go to bed, you look shattered," Remus was saying.

"Speak for yourself," she retorted with a grin. "Fine, fine I'm off. Night then." She rose from her seat, walked around the table to kiss him on the cheek, and then headed up the stairs to bed.

When Remus decided to call it a night himself, he made his way slowly up to his room. As her reached the drawing room landing he stopped. Peering through the gap of the drawing room door he saw the outline of a person asleep on the sofa. He crossed the room to see Tonks fast asleep, her chest rising and falling gently with each steady breath. A thin fraying blanket covered her. Remus smiled to himself and bent down to kiss her cheek. He carefully raised her to give enough room for him to sit down, and then lowered her shoulders back down in his lap. Stroking her pink hair softly, he whispered to her, "You silly girl," before he closed his eyes and joined her in sleep.

A/N: Sorry I've been taking so long, I'm working on two assignments at the mo but they're nearly done. I know this chapter was a tad tedious, but such is life. I'll update soon-ish. :)


	21. A present for the class

A/N: Gosh, it's been a while. Have had a bit of writer's block, so I've written some chapters for further on in the story to get back in the swing of things. Things are gonna get interesting. To apologise for my delay, I have chapter 23 ready and will post soon. This chapter and the next one were all one chapter but it was too long together so I split it into two shorter chapters. Anyway, hope you're all good :)

Disclaimer: I still don't own Harry Potter and co, though I do keep Dan Radcliffe in a drawer under my bed (she wishes!)

Harry sat eating his lunch on a chilly Monday, staring into his steak and kidney pie. Ron, who had been sulky and snappy with both he and Hermione all morning, scraped his cutlery on his plate annoyingly. Harry mumbled something to his best friend but the red headed boy ignored him. Harry chose to start a conversation with Hermione instead.

"Have you seen Tonks? She wrote to me and told me she'd be back today." Ron gave a huff causing Harry to frown. He then turned back to Hermione as she answered.

"No, I've not. I assume she's back. Guess we'll find out after lunch won't we." Harry nodded in response. Ginny piped up from across the table.

"I've seen her," she told them. "I had a lesson with her this morning. She's looking better." Harry was relieved to hear this. Ron was giving Ginny a glare. She scowled back and he threw his knife and fork onto his place and rose from his place.

"Where are you going?" Hermione asked timidly. Ron ignored her and left the Great Hall in a hurry. Hermione turned to Harry and Ginny, who offered shrugs of puzzlement.

The 6th Years sat impatiently in their Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom. The lesson should have started 10 minutes ago but Tonks hadn't turned up. Harry wondered why. Ginny had said Tonks was back at Hogwarts. Where was she? He was about to ask Ron this, then thought again. Ron was sat by Harry's side, scratching a dry quill against a spare piece of parchment. The classroom door swung open, causing many of the class to turn around. Tonks bustled in quickly, an apologetic grin on her face. She wore a black cloak over her old jeans, with a fluorescent pink top bearing the words 'Witch not bitch'. She dumped her bag on her desk and jumped onto it backwards, adopting her typical cross-legged position.

"Wotcher guys! How've you been? I've missed you all so much. How was it without me? Snape treat you ok?" The class groaned a response, especially Neville who seemed incredibly relieved to see Tonks back at school.

"Git!" Tonks laughed. "Oi, he's taken my poster down." She flicked her wand at a roll of paper in the corner. It flew through the air and opened itself out onto the wall, showing a daze cartoon boy with the words 'Boy's are stupid, throw rocks at them,' above his head. Tonks gave a satisfied smile. She looked back to the doorway then brought her eyes back to land on her class. "I'm gonna make things worse. Remember that theory lesson last term when I promised we would never ever do anything so boring again? Well … me lied! I'm so sorry but I have a meeting with Professor Dumbledore, and I'm already running late." She paused, glancing to the back of the room again. "However," she continued, "I did bring you a late Christmas present to say sorry. Can you come in for a sec please," she called. Harry frowned and turned in his seat to follow Tonks stare. "Don't make me drag you!" she called again. Harry's face lit up as Remus Lupin shyly entered the classroom.

"Hey, Professor Lupin. How's it going?" Seamus called. The class left their seats to greet their old teacher. Even the Slytherin students looked pleased to see him. Tonks was relieved, as she knew Remus hadn't really left the school in the best of circumstances. She grinned at Remus who gave her a smile. The class were talking all at once, asking Lupin how he'd been, what he'd been doing. One person remained in his seat however. Ron Weasley continued to scrape his quill against his parchment and glared at Tonks. She turned away suddenly, knowing what he must be thinking.

"Right, I'm going to be really late now. Guess I should set you some work right?"

"No," Seamus called out.

"Nice try, um…there's some questions I wanted you to have a look at on page…"

"One hundred and forty nine. Chapter 7," Hermione piped up.

"Cheers Minnie. Do them and move on to the next chapter if you finish but I'm not guaranteeing that I'll mark them. What else…Ron could you stop doing that please?" The boy looked up at her, made a point of dropping his quill onto the table, then crossed his arms over his chest.

"Thank you. Professor McGonagall will be checking up on you every so often. So if you're acting like little shits then I won't be happy, ok?" Ron muttered something under his breath. Remus didn't catch it but Tonks clearly did for she glared at him.

"Ron can I speak with you outside for a moment?" she said politely, with only a hint of annoyance.

"Whatever," he mumbled and rose from his seat, scraping his chair as he did so. He followed his teacher out of the classroom. The rest of the class irrupted into chatter. Harry was grinning at Remus.

"Harry, stop it."

"What I'm not doing anything!"

"Yes you are, you're grinning at me in _that_ way. Stop it."

"Had a good week?" the boy asked casually, giving the man a wink.

"Stop it!" At that moment, the raised voices of Ron and Tonks could be heard in the corridor. Hermione turned to Harry, clearly shocked. Although the class couldn't make out what was being said, they knew that neither was happy with each other. The door swung open, causing the class to turn around to the front quickly. Ron entered hurriedly, pink in the face and fuming. Tonks followed. She was smiling but her eyes showed a hidden anger. Ron sat back down noisily.

"Thank you, Ron. We don't need another Malfoy in this class. Where is Malfoy anyway?" At that moment the door flung open and Malfoy strode in casually. He stopped as he saw Lupin.

"What's he doing here?"

"You're late," Tonks said, ignoring the boy's question.

"So were you," he sneered.

"Ah, touché. No, don't sit down you're not staying. I've set work and you're gonna go spend this lesson in Professor McGonagall's classroom, ok? It's not that I don't trust you it's just…well yeah it is that." She smiled at her cousin sweetly and he scowled. "Right, I'll be off then, unless any of you have any questions." She scanned the class looking for raised hands. "No? Ok then. Hang on, where's Dean?" she asked, noticing the empty chair next to Seamus. The boy shrugged.

"I dunno. He never came back after the Christmas holiday," Seamus told her. Tonks frowned.

"Hmm, that's weird. Anyway, I'd best get going. Catch you later. Say goodbye to Professor Lupin." The class chorused a farewell; Harry's the loudest with a smug smile across his face. Remus grimaced at the boy and waved as he followed Tonks out of his old classroom.

He turned to Tonks as she shut the classroom door behind them.

"You knew I didn't want to go in."

"And you know I always get my own way," she chirped with a grin. Remus shook his head lightly. He read the slogan on her shirt and gave a pout of disapproval.

"Are you going to get changed?" Tonks' mouth fell indignantly. She pointed her wand at her chest and the words 'Witch not bitch' changed to 'Remus Lupin is a sadistic jerk'. He gave a laugh and an apologetic smile.

"I'm sorry, it was fine before. Come let's go, we're already late."


	22. A meeting with Dumbledore

The couple made their way to Dumbledore's office in silence. Tonks gave the password ("Jellybean,") and they climbed the spiral staircase. Remus knocked gently on the wooden door.

"Come in," called the familiar voice of Albus Dumbledore. Remus pushed open the door and indicated for Tonks to enter first. _Ever the gentleman_, she thought to herself.

Dumbledore looked up from his desk, over his half-moon spectacles and gave a warm smile.

"Ah there you are, I was beginning to think you had forgotten," the old man said. Tonks gave him a grin as Remus shut the door. "Do take a seat won't you." They obeyed.

"I take it you both know why you're here." Tonks felt as if she were in trouble.

"Yes, to discuss Lady Thompson," Remus replied. The elder man nodded his head.

"Since the unfortunate incident the other month I have been keeping a close eye on Lady. Remus, I understand your meeting with her pack was uneventful."

"That's right, they were quite hostile. It seems that they aren't keen on taking Lady back in since her time with us." The Headmaster nodded thoughtfully at this.

"I had a feeling that this would be the case." He sat forward on his chair and leant his elbows on his desk. "The truth is, Lady Thompson isn't particularly a popular woman at the moment –"

"Was she ever?" Tonks scoffed. Dumbledore's eyes fell on Tonks.

"You must understand Nymphadora, Lady placed herself in a very difficult position." Tonks rolled her eyes and looked unconvinced. Dumbledore took a deep breath before beginning his lengthy explanation. "Lady belonged to a group called the Mediators, werewolves mainly but not entirely. As their name suggests, their position in our war could be described as a go-between. I have been informed by Lady herself, that the Mediators decided to take the war into their own hands. Having heard about the prophecy they seemed to think that, by destroying Harry, Voldemort would also be diminished. They thought it unlikely for them to be able to defeat Voldemort themselves, after all it's only been done by one person. This is why Lady targeted Harry."

"That's ridiculous," Tonks cut in.

"Is it?" Dumbledore raised a silver eyebrow. "Many people have the same idea. We don't know it's not true though we wouldn't be foolish enough to harm Harry on a whim. However, the Mediators were more willing to test their theory."

"It can't be true," Remus said. "If it was then why did Voldemort's Death Eaters attack Harry when they had the chance last summer?"

"Unless Voldemort doesn't know either," Dumbledore suggested. "We know from the prophecy that one will have to destroy the other, we can only imagine what would happen if a third party interfered." Silence fell. Tonks listened to the cooing of Fawkes the phoenix in the corner. Her mouth was dry and her stomach churned at the thought of how casually they were discussing Harry's fate.

"What does it matter?" she spoke up, causing both men to look at her, puzzled. "All that matters to me is that Harry stays safe and I will do all I can to make sure that happens. I know I'm not the only one," she gave a sideways glance at Remus who gave a smile. "Harry's not stupid. This prophecy must bother him more than he would ever admit, and we know the war won't end unless he acts. But he's still a boy…I know he would disagree but he is! The war can't end without him, but the war will have to wait." Tonks was surprised to see Dumbledore nod in agreement.

"You're absolutely right, Tonks. We need to support Harry in every way we can until that time comes. I know I can rely on you two to do this. It is why Sirius chose you, after all." Remus and Tonks nodded, knowing that the man's words were true. "Now…Tonks, how are you feeling? I take it you are back to full health?"

"Yes Sir," Tonks said quietly to the desk. She risked a glance up and caught the old man's significant glance. She opened her mouth to speak but the shake of his head silenced her.

"It's ok Nymphadora, Lupin has told me everything." Tonks felt Remus shrink back in his chair. "There will be no words of judgement from me," Dumbledore said quietly. "But I will offer you my condolences. Losing a family member is hard, whatever the circumstances." Tonks nodded uncomfortably, wishing they were still talking about Harry. Dumbledore rose slightly in his chair, indicating that the meeting was over. Tonks and Remus stood. They headed for the door when Tonks stopped and spun around

"Oh yeah, Professor Dumbledore I was going to ask you… I don't suppose you know where Dean Thomas is do you? Apparently he didn't come back after Christmas." Dumbledore blinked and nodded slowly.

"I'm afraid Mr Thomas won't be joining us for the rest of the year. His parents disappeared before Christmas. Their bodies were found some time after," he said quietly. Tonks shut the door that Remus had opened with a bang.

"What!" She strode over to the desk. Dumbledore stood and regarded the woman. She was clearly demanding an explanation. "Why weren't we told?"

"The Ministry thought–"

"Forget the Ministry! I'm talking about the Order! Why weren't we told?" she demanded. Dumbledore kept his voice low.

"I thought it best not to cause panic. There may not be a link between the Muggle deaths and our world. Deaths are not uncommon in the Muggle world, you of all people should know that, Nymphadora." Tonks did not like the way she was being patronised.

"You think there is a chance that it is connected to our world." It wasn't a question. Dumbledore nodded sadly.

"I'm afraid so." Tonks sighed and ran a hand over her face. "I apologise for keeping you in the dark Tonks, as a member of staff you should have been informed."

"How about as a half-blood? What about my father? He's Muggle-born!"

"That was one of the reasons I didn't tell you Tonks. Your father is out of the country and out of contact. I didn't want to worry you. Merlin knows you've had enough to deal with recently." Tonks closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She opened them to look at Remus, who stood patiently by the door.

"Did you know about this?" she asked. Her friend shook his head and she believed him.

"I would appreciate it if you kept quiet about this Tonks, even to Harry."

"The students have a right to know," Tonks argued. "If you don't make it clear what's going on it'll only cause rumours. They can be more harmful than the truth." Dumbledore nodded in agreement but stayed firm with his decision.

"I will tell them Tonks, but not now. Do I have your word?" She hesitated before nodding.

"Thank you. Take care of yourselves," Dumbledore called to his Order members as they left the circular office.

Once down the stone steps, Remus became sullen. Tonks gave a sigh and turned on her heels to face him.

"Ok, out with it." Her friend raised his eyebrows, slightly taken aback by her question.

"Out with what?" Tonks sighed again, impatiently this time. Then, without even having to morph, she copied her friend's miserable expression causing him to laugh. "I'm not _that_ bad am I?"

"Worse," Tonks admitted with a grin. "What's up? Are you mad 'cause I bitched about Lady? I dislike her Remus you know I do, but that has nothing to do with … what she is," she ended lamely. "Or what you are… a miserable git." He laughed and shook his head.

"It has nothing to do with Lady, it's just…everything with Harry and now the Muggles,I swearI didn't know about that Tonks, and… well I guess it's just sinking in that I'm going to be leaving here without you." Tonks took his hand affectionately and gave it a squeeze.

"Stay for dinner?"

"No, I don't think I will. I'd best be off."

"Oh that's right, I forgot Buckbeak doesn't like to eat alone." She gave a wry smile. "Aww come on Remus, pleeease! Do it for me if not for you, I need someone to take my mind off things." Reluctantly, the man agreed.

* * *

The Great Hall was beginning to fill up with older students, finishing classes early. Tonks noticed that Harry wasn't at the Gryffindor table, and guessed that he was probably dumping his bag in the common room.

"Oh, you're back," came a meditative voice from behind. Tonks spun around to see Luna Lovegood. The girls hypnotic eyes flicked to Remus then back onto Tonks.

"Hello Luna." Tonks' tone was dismissive, as if she had spent too much time avoiding conversations with the girl.

"Harry said you were ill but I didn't believe him. I thought something had happened to you but you're looking rather peaky so I guess it was true after all."

"Er..yeah, cheers Luna."

"I know you," the girl had turned to Lupin. "You taught me in my second year."

"Yes, Ravenclaw right?" Luna nodded.

"I prefer Tonks," she admitted frankly. Tonks rolled her eyes impatiently. "She taught us how to curl our hair with our wands."

"That's true, I did teach them that," Tonks mumbled as Remus gave her an amused look. "Anyway Luna, we'd best be getting something to eat now." She pushed hurriedly past the girl, dragging Remus by his arm.

Harry and Hermione eventually came down for dinner, followed by Ginny. Ron, however, was nowhere to be seen. This prompted Remus to ask about the argument outside the classroom. Tonks dismissed him with a wave of her hand. After dinner, Tonks went back to her room, followed by Remus, Harry, Hermione and Ginny, who were chatting animatedly with their old professor. Remus was grateful to be able to spend some time with Harry, before heading back to the cold and empty house. Tonks sat on the edge of her bed, thinking about her parents and plaiting Ginny's red hair while she read a book. Hermione poured over her homework by the fire, a small crease of a frown on her forehead as she concentrated. A knock came at the door, silencing all conversation and causing all five heads to look up. Tonks let go of Ginny's hair (which carried on plaiting by itself) and rose to answer the door. A set-jawed boy stood the other side of the door.

"Oh…'ello," Ron Weasley muttered to the floor.

"Good evening Ronald," Tonks jested. "Come to apologise?"

"Um… no actually," he said bluntly. "Harry's got my Transfiguration book. I need it for my homework." Ron's rudeness caused a stunned silence in the room. Harry finally responded.

"Have I? Sorry." He crossed to his bag and started rummaging.

"So…heard from Charlie?" Ron asked boldly. Tonks swallowed uncomfortable.

"Ron!" Ginny protested in embarrassment.

"What? Well… have you?" Tonks shook her head and mumbled something quietly. "I have… yeah he sent me a letter when he got back to Romania. Says he's happy but he's not. Guess we have you two to blame for that." The boy scowled at Remus who looked to the floor.

"Shut up Ron!" Ginny hissed but her brother ignored her.

"Anyway I hope you guys are happy together, really I do. It's about time you stopped screwing things up Nymphadora. It's like my mum said, you're too dumb to accomplish anything or know what you really want in life –"

"For you're information Ron," Tonks cut in angrily, "Charlie had been talking about going back to Romania before we broke up, hell even before we got together! So you can stop blaming me for that for a start! Secondly, if you think I give a troll's ass what your mum thinks of me then you're wrong. And another thing, Remus and I are not 'together' not that it's any of you're business. Finally, don't think you can come here to cause an argument; I'd ratheryou didn't waste my time. Slag me off behind my back all you want but don't come looking for a fight!" She snatched the book off Harry angrily, who stood agape, and shoved it into Ron's chest. "Take your bloody book and piss off!" She slammed the door heatedly and took a calming breath. No one dared speak.

"I'm so sorry about him," Ginny squeaked quietly, after the silence had become unbearable. Tonks shook her head.

"Don't be silly Ginny-bean, he's just angry. So am I," she laughed lightly. Remus gave an uncomfortable cough.

"Maybe I should be heading off." This caused a cry of protests. The man smiled slightly. "It's getting late. It was nice to see you all again though." He rose from his seat. Tonks stuck out her bottom lip. "Nymphadora please don't do that." She retracted it but still looked glum.

"I'll miss you…Floo me as soon as you get in."

"Don't be ridiculous, Dora." He pulled on his overcoat then gave his friends a smile. "Well goodbye, I'll see you soon no doubt." Harry crossed to his guardian and hugged him tightly. Remus looked slightly uncomfortable.

"Look after yourself," he said to the top of the boy's head. _He's getting so tall now_, he thought to himself.

Remus barely gave Tonks a second glance as he crossed to the door.

"See you, girls." _Girls? Am I included in that?_ Tonks thought

"Bye Professor Lupin," Hermione and Ginny called together. He gave one last smile and closed the door behind him. Tonks stared at the door, stunned.

"I think you should go after him," Ginny suggested eagerly.

"I agree," Hermione piped up. Harry just grinned.

"Go after him? And say what exactly?"

"That you luuuurve him!"

"Harry!"

"I dunno then, I'm not exactly the master when it comes to matters of the heart." He thought of Cho Chang and cringed. "You'll know what to say when you see him…hopefully," he added. Tonks had to disagree, though she found herself subconsciously heading for the door. She turned to see her three students beaming at her.

"This is so stupid," she muttered. "If I make a fool of myself then it is detention for all three of you." She left the room in the direction Remus had gone.

"I hope she's joking," Hermione muttered nervously.

Remus heard footsteps echoing behind him before he heard his name being called. He stopped and turned as Tonks appeared around the corner. She was breathing heavily.

"Crikey you walk fast," she gasped.

"Is everything ok?" She nodded quickly. "Then why are you following me?" _"You'll know what to say when you see him" Yeah right, that's detention for you, Potter!_

"Um…I dunno. I guess…well… I'm worried about you alone at home by yourself.

"You really shouldn't," Remus said rather dismissively, and continued to walk. Tonks frowned and dropped her mouth indignantly. She followed after him.

"Well…I don't think I will be." This made Remus stop in his tracks. He looked down into her morphed eyes.

"You, Nymphadora, will be fine. As will I." He kissed her lightly on the cheek and she flushed. "I am grateful that you care, though."

"Of course I care, you're my best friend."

"And you are mine. But it's late and you have to let me go eventually." She pulled him into an embrace.

"Thank you for all you've done for me recently, I'll never forget it," she whispered. They pulled apart and Remus continued to walk but this time Tonks let him. She watched him disappear around a corner then sighed, finding comfort in that they would both be lonely that night.

A/N: Here's a lil taster of the next chapter…

She took a deep breath and then hesitated; pulling at the cuffs of the blue hoodie she kept meaning to give back to Harry.  
"Minnie, I…can you keep a secret?" Hermione twisted even further in her chair, nodding eagerly. Tonks jerked her head over her shoulder, indicating that Hermione should join her on the bed. She did so. Tonks took another deep breath…


	23. Secret

A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews guys! I can't stress enough how much they mean to me :) I'm so pleased you are enjoying it so much.

February arrived, thawing the ice of January but leaving the bitter winds to chill the castle grounds. The ever-grey skies resembled the constant gloom that seemed to hover over the school. Although Professor Dumbledore had insisted on keeping quiet, word of the Muggle killings had spread, hints of rumours mingled with fact to cause an unspoken panic amongst the students.

Tonks was also anxious. She had not heard from her parents since they had left for Canada, and she prayed they were safe. Her worry had settled in the pit of her stomach, causing her to feel continually unwell.

The noise of her 6th Year class brought her back from her uneasiness. She offered them a half-reassuring smile.

"Wotcher guys," Tonks said with a waver in her voice. She cleared her throat and continued. "We're carrying on from last lesson. Get your wands out." The hubbub of her class filled her head, distracting her from her previous thoughts.

"Where's Hermione?" Tonks heard Ron ask Harry, who shook her head. Tonks bit her lip before beginning her lesson.

Hermione entered the lesson half way through. She sat without speaking, next to her friends and refused to respond to their questioning glances. The boys continued their practise of disarming spells. Ron, who had become too excited at being able to successfully cast the spell before Harry, flicked his wand over-zealously causing it to hit Harry in the face and knock his glasses off his nose. The boys looked at each other for a beat, then burst into fits of giggles. Harry decided to respond and rapped Ron across the nose with his wand. They guffawed loudly. Hermione gave an impatient huff (which they were used to), and then snapped at them.

"Pack it in, would you? Just grow up! This is serious! I'd expect this off Ron, but not from you Harry." The boys just stared at their friend, who they now noticed was looking rather pale and was shaking slightly as she tucked a stray piece of curly hair behind her ear. Tonks had looked up from observing Neville and Seamus.

"Are you ok Minnie?"

"Yes," came the muffled squeak as Hermione covered her face with her hands. Tonks threw an unimpressed glance towards Ron and Harry.

"How's about you go up to my office eh? We'll have a chat." Hermione's head bobbed up and down in her hands and she stood without a look towards her friends. She made her way shakily up the stone steps and closed the wooden door behind her.

"You two can get on," Tonks said testily. Harry and Ron did as they were told.

After a moment, Tonks entered her office hesitantly. Hermione was sat with her back to the door, her bushy head resting on the table. The girl gave a little sniff.

"Hermione?" Tonks voiced a quiet concern. Her student gave a little jump and look around. She gave a small laugh of embarrassment and wiped her face quickly with her hands.

"I'm sorry Tonks, I'm just a bit over emotional at the moment. I've not been sleeping well and you know what those two are like, always winding me up. Sorry if I made a scene," she rambled then rose to leave. Tonks put her hand on the girls trembling shoulders and lowered her back down to the chair. She sat on the corner of her desk and looked down at Hermione with a look of immense understanding.

"You're worried. Don't deny it Minnie, I know. I am too. How can we not be, eh? Now, I'm not gonna sit here and tell you that it's all going to be ok, because I don't know that." Hermione gave a shudder of a breath but Tonks continued. "But we have to stay strong. It's hard, I know, but we have to." Tonks wiped a tear from the girl's cheek and noticed that her own hand was shaking.

"I hate this stupid war," Hermione whispered.

"Me too," Tonks squeaked in response, squeezing her eyes together and feeling tears fall down her cheeks.

"I'm so scared Tonks," Hermione admitted. "Not for me but for my parents. I wrote to them after Christmas and they replied. I wrote back but they haven't replied again. I'm so scared, I don't know what to do!" Tonks' face fell at this worrying news. Perhaps it was nothing, she sincerely hoped so. "I've been to see Professor McGonagall to ask her if I could go home and see them, to see if they're ok, but she said no. I'm trying to stay calm. I know I might be over-reacting, but what if I'm not Tonks? It happened to Dean, it could happen to me too!" Hermione buried her face in her hands once more and wept. Tonks sat silently, listening to her sniffs mingling with Hermione's sobs. After she had taken as much of the girl's heartache as she could, she spoke up.

"It's ok Minnie. You have me. We'll look out for each other, ok?" She took Hermione's hands as she nodded. Her student blinked at her with clammy eyelashes and mumbled an apology.

"Don't be daft… I'd better get back down stairs. Harry and Draco have probably killed each other by now." This made Hermione smile. "Take as much time as you want up here, ok?" She gave Hermione's hands a final squeeze before leaving her alone in the office once more.

* * *

Hermione spent a great deal of time with Tonks after that. They seemed to share a need for each other's company. Ron, who thought Hermione was just sucking up to yet another teacher as exams were nearing, sneered down his nose at it. He didn't feel that he had entirely forgiven Tonks for cheating on his brother either. Harry, however, was worried at Hermione's new solemnity. He voiced his concern to Ginny in the common room one evening. She had simply shrugged and replied,

"We're in the middle of a war, Harry. None of us are feeling particularly positive." Harry had had to agree.

Hermione had found it difficult working in the common room in the evenings. She found it hard to be around those who did not seem at all bothered at what was happening around them. Plus, Ron seemed to be highly insensitive to anything, more so than usual, and seemed to go out of his way to frustrate her. It was because of this that she had adopted Tonks' bedroom as her new place of study. She sat at the desk by the window, watching the sleet hit the lake in the distance, which looked as black as the sky above it. Hermione sighed and looked back down to her textbook. Tonks was lying face down on her bed with her ankles crossed in the air above her. She was leaning on a hard book and her quill was poised over a piece of blank parchment, though it appeared that she was struggling for words.

"Are you writing to your parents?" Hermione's small voice asked. Tonks looked up and shook her head sadly.

"No, I…I can't. It's not safe. They haven't been in contact either. They're probably just as worried about me as I am of them. Guess that should be some comfort." But the pain on her face told Hermione that it was of no consolation at all.

"So, who are you writing to then?" she asked, hoping to change the subject.

"Charlie." Tonks' tone hadn't lightened one bit.

"Oh right…that's…nice," Hermione ventured. Tonks gave a sad laugh.

"I miss him, Hermione. I know I screwed up, and I have a horrible feeling that I've lost him for good." Her eyes flickered with something that Hermione didn't understand. "Never mess around with matters of the heart Minnie, it only gets people hurt." Hermione gave a nod and quickly carried on with her homework.

"Has…has Harry heard from Remus?" Tonks asked after a while. Hermione noticed that Tonks had yet to write anything on her parchment.

"Yes."

"Oh." Tonks' voice held both surprise and disappointment. "Did he…how is he? He ok?"

"Yes I think so. Bored, by the sound of it. Mentioned Beaky quite a bit. He must be lonely. Professor Lupin I mean…well Buckbeak too I suppose." She trailed off, seeing Tonks' face fall. "He might have mentioned you too. Yes, I think he did."

"Don't lie Hermione."

"Well…sorry. What does it matter anyway? Like you said, it's best not to mess with matters of the heart. Now write your letter to Charlie," she said briskly. However, Tonks pushed her quill and parchment to the side and buried her face in her quilt. She gave a groan of frustration. Hermione gave a light laugh and continued with her work. The wind changed direction, causing the sleet to hit the bedroom window. It rattled as if nails were being hurled towards it at a pace. Hermione couldn't concentrate so she closed her book with a sigh. She turned to see Tonks sat up, hugging her knees with her arms. Her usually short pink hair had been morphed into its natural dark waves.

"Your hair's so nice like that. Not that I don't like pink, of course, but you're so pretty Tonks." Her teacher smiled her appreciation. She took a deep breath and then hesitated; pulling at the cuffs of the blue hoodie she kept meaning to give back to Harry.

"Minnie, I…can you keep a secret?" Hermione twisted even further in her chair, nodding eagerly. Tonks jerked her head over her shoulder, indicating that Hermione should join her on the bed. She did so. Tonks took another deep breath.

"Well…the thing is…I'm pregnant Hermione." The girl's mouth dropped.

"Oh my god!" she squealed, grinning for the first time in weeks. "That's great." Her smile faded as she saw the troubled look on Tonks' face. "Isn't it?" Tonks gave a shrug. "Well, I guess this means you'll _have_ to make it up with Charlie!" Tonks gave a slight cringe of regret and shook her head slowly. Hermione's eyes widened slightly. "Except it's not Charlie's baby is it." Tonks shook her head again. "Well then who? Not…oh my god…Professor Lupin!"

"Don't say it like that, it makes it sound so much worse!" Tonks cried. There was a stunned silence. Hermione opened at closed her mouth several times, reminding Tonks of a goldfish. She finally found words.

"I don't believe this. Harry told me you two had kissed, he never said anything about…you know."

"Harry doesn't know, and I'd really appreciate it if you kept quite about this."

"I will, I will. Does Professor Lupin know?"

"Remus, Hermione! And no he doesn't."

"Well you have to tell him!"

"You think!" Tonks said sarcastically and Hermione laughed. "This is such a mess," Tonks sighed.

"Why is it?"

"Why? Why! Well I'm pregnant with my best friend's baby, I'm still in love with Charlie, I've not heard from my parents for nearly two months now, and there's this whole other issue that I'm still dealing with –"

"What issue?"

"And we're in the middle of a war!" Tonks continued, not wanting to share with Hermione all that had happened with Bellatrix Lestrange. "So I have come to the conclusion that, yes, my life is a mess. And if you can't see that then you're a daft twit aren't you!" She folded her arms across her chest, as if to emphasise the end to her rant. Hermione smiled ruefully.

"I'm sorry Tonks. It's just I've been so down these past few weeks. And it's nice to finally get some good news. I'm happy for you, even if you're not." She pulled her friend into a hug and rested her chin on her shoulder. "I hope you can be happy too, whatever you decided to do. How far gone are you?"

"About 6 weeks," Tonks mumbled into Hermione's frizzy hair.

"When are you due?"

"September 19th."

"That's my birthday!" Hermione shrieked. Tonks pulled away, wincing slightly.

"Steady on Hermione," she laughed. She girl blushed. "Well, it's getting late. You should be heading back to you're common room now. Pleeease don't mention this to Harry. Or Ron. Or Ginny. In fact just keep it zipped ok?" Hermione nodded with a grin and pulled Tonks into another embrace. She collected her things, bade her teacher goodnight, gave a final squeal at the door and left for the Gryffindor common room.

* * *

Hermione entered the portrait of the Fat Lady five minutes later, with a smile still evident on her face.

"Good evening boys," she sang to Harry and Ron, who glanced at each other in puzzlement.

"What's wrong with you?" Ron mumbled. Hermione brushed his feet off the coffee table and went to sit in the armchair by Harry.

"Nothing, I'm fine." She gave them a look of superiority, and then gazed across the room in the pretence of being interested in who was still awake. "Seriously Hermione, what's going on?"

"Nothing that concerns you Ronald," she said shortly. He crinkled his nose at her and rolled his eyes to Harry. "Let's just say that I know something you don't."

"You know a lot of things that Ron doesn't," Harry commented, and received a clout on his arm from his friend.

"I would tell you of course, but I'm not supposed to say," Hermione teased with a grin. "Anyway, I'm off to bed now. 'Night boys." She left Harry and Ron alone, feeling rather bemused.

"Mental, that one. I've always said it," Ron admitted, shaking his head in confusion. "Wish she'd sort out her mood swings. I can't cope with her, I seriously can't! What do you reckon she was on about?" Harry shrugged.

"It was probably nothing. She's just trying to make us feel stupid." Ron turned to him.

"Harry…Hermione has always made us feel stupid. And she usually succeeds!"

"Speak for yourself," Harry muttered.

"What?"

"Err…Nothing," Harry said quickly with a smirk. "I'm off to bed, too. Have fun with your essay, won't you." Harry rose quickly, leaving Ron once again baffled.


	24. Unsettling dreams, harsh reality

_It is happening again. Sirius is at the bottom of the stone steps…with Harry. I call out to him, tell him to leave, to take Harry and run as fast as he can. He doesn't hear me, he never does. Curses fly overhead, summoned by members of both sides. And here I am, on these cold stone steps, knowing before I turn who is behind me. Bellatrix smiles as I turn, and mouths words that I can't hear. My heart is pounding fast, the blood echoing in my ears. I turn my back to my aunt, to watch Sirius again. He is looking up at me in concern, no doubt seeing his little cousin, his T-Bird, fighting a losing battle with Lestrange. But I'm not. I stand still. Months of this harrowing, recurring dream have taught me that, no matter what I do, it always ends the same. I have to witness him die again and again, and there is nothing I can do about it. I shiver and gasp. My stomach jolts with the sensation of falling, but I am not. I did, but I don't any more. As always I pray for unconsciousness to take me but it doesn't. I turn to run up the steps I should have fallen down, but I can't move upwards. I can only go down, to the dais, to the veil where I will watch him fall. Bellatrix passes me, almost floating down the steps in a Dementor-like way. She pauses where my body should be, and looks down with a sense of grim satisfaction. But I do not lie there; I am stood by her side. Like her shadow. My aunt lets out a cackle, such a cliché I know, and looks towards Sirius. His face is set and he strides towards Bella as she heads for the dais. Once I tried to grab her hand and lead her away from the veil. I have tried to snatch her wand. I have screamed warnings in Sirius' ear. But every time it ends the same, with his death. Every time she kills him…until now._  
_Bellatrix turns to me and her dark eyes meet mine. Can she see me? This has never happened before. Silence rings around the stone room, and I notice that there are no Order members present, no Death Eaters posing threats. Just me, Bella, Sirius… and Harry. The boy sits on the bottom step, throwing and catching the prophecy casually, as if it were a Snitch. He seems so much like his father. He looks up at the scene with mild interest on his face._

"_It's ok," he says and I hear him. I frown and he nods with a grin. I look back to Sirius and Bellatrix; they stand apart facing each other like in a showdown. _

"_Sirius don't do this, please," I'm sobbing now, I don't understand what's going on. This has never happened before. Harry is laughing at me, his green eyes twinkling as he throws the prophecy up in the air again._

"_He has to Tonks, don't you understand? Let him get on with it." I shout out Sirius' name and am surprised when he hears. He looks at me, and smiles. _

"_It's ok," he echoes Harry's words. I shake my head and shudder a breath as fresh tears fall._

"_She's going to kill you," I shout, shaking with distress. Sirius laughs, joined by Harry and finally Bellatrix. It's as if they are sharing a joke I seem to have missed. My cousin shakes his head._

"_She's not, Tonks." His eyes suddenly become full of sadness. I look down at my trembling hands to find them holding my wand. _

"_Do it, Dora," Bellatrix whispers from beside me. Before I can object, a jet of light shoots from my wand, hitting Sirius square in the chest and knocking him backwards into the veil. I scream and drop my wand. It shatters like glass. Bellatrix disappears from my side, leaving me alone with Harry. I fall to my knees on the dais and sob. Why is this happening? It's never been like this before. I hear footsteps and look up to see Harry crossing over to me. _

"_I didn't think you had it in you, Dora." His mouth is moving but it is my aunt's voice. "Perhaps you are a Black after all." Harry's voice this time. He looks shocked, as if he didn't believe I would do it… kill Sirius. _

"_Harry… I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to," I cry. He looks at me with such sadness. I want to die. _

"_Neither did I," he whispers. Then, throwing the prophecy at me he shouts, "AVADA KEDAVRA!"_

* * *

"Harry!" Tonks was woken from her sleep abruptly. She fought in the dark with her bed sheets, feeling the nip of the air as she stood from her bed. Something was wrong. She grabbed a pair of jeans and a t-shirt that was lying by her bed and threw them on quickly. As she went for the door, she heard a knock. Tonks wrenched open the door to find a sluggish Harry. He too was fully dressed.

"Oh, you're awake –" Harry seemed surprised at this, considering it was very early in the morning.

"What's wrong? Are you ok?" Tonks demanded urgently. The boy nodded.

"I am but… it's Hermione." Tonks face fell.

"Oh no," she whispered as she saw the expression on the boys face.

"She's asking for you."

Harry and Tonks made their way back to Gryffindor Tower. The corridors were cold and deserted. As they climbed through the portrait hole, small sobs could be heard. Tonks saw Hermione sat in an armchair being held by Ginny. Ron stood close by in his maroon pyjamas, his face pale and set. Professor McGonagall was there too, in her tartan dressing gown. She gave Tonks a sombre look as she neared. Harry left Tonks' side and joined Hermione. He crouched by her chair, rubbing her hand gently. Tonks swallowed hard as McGonagall began to talk.

"Muggle law enforcement were called to the Granger's house earlier in the night. Auror were also sent." The elder woman took a deep breath. "An Unforgivable Curse," she said simply. Tonks raised a hand to her mouth and gave a slight gasp. "A Death Mark hung over their house," McGonagall's voice wavered as she spoke.

"How could this have happened?" Tonks asked to herself mainly. The other woman shook her head. Hermione gave a wail from the corner causing both women to turn about. Tonks moved to be with her.

"Minnie, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Ginny moved as Tonks went to embrace the young girl. She rocked slightly in her teacher's arms.

"This is my fault, this is all my fault," Harry whispered from behind Tonks. "I'm sorry Hermione." His voice cracked. Ginny sniffed from in the corner and brought a hand up to her eyes. Hermione shook her head and whimpered again.

"What am I going to do? This is so unfair!" she choked. Tonks stroked the girl's bushy hair from out of her face.

"Listen to me Hermione, ok? I'm going to look after you. You're going to be ok." She whispered.

"It's so unfair!" Hermione cried again. "I don't have anyone else…why is this happening? What did I do wrong!" she screamed. Ginny began to sob and Ron put his arm around her to comfort her.

"You've not done anything wrong Hermione," Professor McGonagall spoke up.

"None of us have," Tonks added, casting a glance towards Harry. The group fell silent, save for the crackling of the dying fire and Hermione's whimpers.

"I don't have anyone else. I don't have anywhere to go," she breathed.

"You can stay at Grimmauld Place," Tonks spoke up quickly. McGonagall did not seem to think this a good idea. She pouted disapprovingly but Tonks ignored her. "Remus will look after you. I'll take you there myself. You're not alone Minnie, you have us." Hermione stifled a sob and nodded.

Tonks rose from her crouch and moved to McGonagall again.

"The sooner she gets out of here the better. The students will be waking up soon. I'll take her on the Knight Bus."

"Then what? Tonks I'm not so sure this a good idea."

"What else can we do? Send her home to an empty house with the Death Mark still hanging above it no doubt!" Tonks hissed. "No, Remus will look after her. Until she's had time to think at least." Tonks was firm, and Professor McGonagall could do nothing but agree.

"Ginny-bean, will youfetch Hermione's trunk for her." Ginny looked up to Tonks and nodded immediately. She hurried off upstairs.

"I'll come with you," Harry spoke up. Tonks began to speak but the Deputy Head cut her off.

"That won't be necessary Potter. I think it's best if you stay in the school grounds where it's safe."

"But –"

"It's ok Harry, I'll look after her." Tonks gave the boy a smile of reassurance. He nodded in resignation. Crookshanks appeared down the dormitory steps and seemed oblivious to the scene in front of him. He gave a purr and jumped into Hermione's lap causing her to sob again and cling him tightly to her chest as she wept.

"Do you want to bring Crookshanks along or leave him here? Minnie?… Hermione?" The girl seemed not to hear. She continued to rock back and forth, chewing her lip and creasing her face up in pain.

"I'll look after him," Ginny called from the stairs, struggling with the trunk. Ron went to help her.

"Hermione, go upstairs and get dressed now." The girl shook her head.

"I can't," she whispered.

"Yes you can, come on now. I'm taking you to Grimmauld Place where you'll be safe. Hurry now before it gets light." Eventually, the girl made it out of her chair and up the stairs.

Hermione was wrapped in a scarf and thick coat before being lead to the Entrance Hall. Professor McGonagall had arranged for a carriage and Thestral to take Hermione and Tonks to the school gates. Tonks felt as if she were smuggling the girl away, as she helped her into the carriage and closed the door. There was a bitter nip in the air, and the coach rocked with the rhythm of the hooves and the gust of winds. Tonks swallowed back a sudden nauseous feeling, which was not just brought on by the motion of the carriage. She placed a hand on her stomach, conjuring thoughts that she was half-scared to even imagine. She had admitted it now, to Hermione and to herself. There was no use denying it anymore; she was going to have a child. Tonks stared out of the window as the castle shrank in the distance. She felt Hermione's weight against her right arm. The girl's shoulders were slouched over and she kept incredibly quiet, with her cold hands in her lap.

Tonks gazed out of the window as they moved. She suddenly began to think about her dream. It felt ages ago, when in truth it had only been a couple of hours. Tonks gave a slight shudder. What had it meant? _Nothing_, she told herself firmly. Her life was incredibly complicated at the moment; she was bound to be tense even as she slept. _Yeah maybe_, she thought in doubt, hoping it wasn't anything more. _Either way, no more cheese for you before bedtime_.

The coach slowed to a halt and Tonks jump out to help Hermione down and then used her wand to elevate the girl's trunk. When she was done she stuck her wand hand out and in an instant at bright purple, triple-decker bus appeared with a bang. Stan Shunpike greeted Tonks with a wary glance, having remembered about the woman's short temper. Tonks stated destination, handed over fare and escorted Hermione to a secluded seat. Again they didn't speak, and again Tonks felt a wave of sickness engulf her. The Knight Bus had never been known for it's smooth rides, but it seemed that being in the early stages of pregnancy greatly increased the discomfort of the journey. The Knight Bus eventually stopped in Grimmauld Place. Tonks struggled with the trunk. Stan went to help her and she gave a growl.

"I've got it, thank you!" She threw the trunk onto the pavement with a bang then went back for Hermione who was leaning precariously against a metal pole. She took the girl by the crook of her arm, calling a hurried thank you over her shoulder at Stan and Ernie. The bus disappeared with a bang. Tonks thought of struggling with the trunk the whole way up the stone steps then thought against it. She lowered Hermione on to the curb beside the trunk. Hermione rested on it shakily. Tonks skipped quickly up the steps, tripping as she went. She rapped on the door, hoping someone was in and that they would answer soon. The bitter wind was picking up. Tonks risked a glance over her shoulder at Hermione, who sat motionless at the bottom of the steps. Just then, something caught her eye. A shadow moved between the two houses opposite in the square. Tonks squinted. Was she imagining it? The noise of the door creaking open broke her gaze. Remus stood the other side of the door. He looked rather surprised to see his friend stood before him.

"Oh, good morning Nympha–"

"Remus I need a favour," she cut in quickly. She turned and descended the steps leaving Remus confused. He then spotted Hermione on the floor. Tonks glanced across the street.

"Hermione…did you see a person over there?"

"What?" Hermione's tone was distant. Tonks shook her head dismissively.

"Get up Hermione," Tonks said briskly, not wanting to hang around. The woman grabbed the trunk and began to drag it up the steps single-handedly until Remus went to help her.

"What's going on?" he whispered anxiously, his gaze on the girl who remained sat on the footpath.

"Not here," Tonks whispered back, shaking her head. Once they had managed to get both the trunk and Hermione inside the house, Remus shut the door causing the hallway to fall into semi-darkness. Hermione began to whimper.

"I shouldn't be here, I want to go home," she whispered again and again.

"Minnie go up to your room, ok? Are you thirsty? I'll bring you a cup of tea, sound good?" The girl didn't respond but continued to whisper under her breath. "Hermione…?" The girl gave a small squeak and moved towards her trunk. "No no, leave that. I'll get it. You just get upstairs. Get back in bed."

"I couldn't sleep," Hermione muttered as she headed up the stairs. Tonks gave a weary sigh and headed down the kitchen steps, followed by Remus. She was surprised to see Moody sat at the table. He looked up as Remus spoke.

"Are you going to explain what's going on?" Tonks ran her hands over her face, very aware of the fact that she had been up since 4am, and that she wore the clothes she had thrown on haphazardly. To top it all, she still felt sick. _That's hormones for you_, she thought to herself then panicked as if afraid that Remus had read her mind. _Why is he staring? Does he know? Oh right…_

"Hermione's parents were murdered last night," she announced. The two men were stunned to silence. Tonks gave a growl and sat down beside Moody, her head in her hands. "How did we let this happen? Muggle killings, what's next… wait don't answer that, I'd rather not know."

"How's Hermione doing?" Moody asked in concern. Tonks gave a shrug.

"Not so good. I don't think it's sunk in yet. She doesn't know what to do with herself, I mean you can't ever prepare yourself for something like that can you, especially at her age. I've told her she can stay here as long as she wants, I hope that's ok." She looked up at Remus with her tired eyes. He nodded without hesitation. A shuffle came from above them. They looked up to see Hermione stood at the door. Although she was no longer crying, her face held so much pain and anguish that it was almost unbearable to witness. She began to descend the stairs.

"Minnie go back upstairs sweetheart."

"Why? So you can talk about me some more?" the girl mumbled. She shuffled towards the kettle but Tonks beat her to it.

"Come on, Hermione. Go up to your room."

"It's not my room," Hermione said heatedly. "This isn't my home and you aren't …" She stopped and took a deep breath, realising she was shaking. "I'm sorry," the girl said quietly. She took a seat next to Remus and put her head in her arms. The Order members exchanged glances across the room. Tonks put the kettle on, sat the other side of Hermione and began to stroke the girl's hair comfortingly.

"I have an essay in today," Hermione sniffled to the table. Tonks wanted to smile, it was just _so_ Hermione. "For Professor Snape, he'll be angry with me."

"I'm sure he'll understand," Remus spoke up.

"No he won't!" Hermione exclaimed, rubbing her eyes with the back of a hand. "Where's Harry?" she said suddenly causing them all to frown.

"At school, Hermione."

"Well he shouldn't be," she began to sob again. "I need to talk to him. He knows, he understands what it's like! I need to talk to him." She rose from her seat but didn't move. No one spoke.

"I'm not making any sense, am I?"

"No,"

"I'll go lie down now, I think."

"Ok. I'll come up and check on you later, bring you some tea."

"Thank you." And with that Hermione left the kitchen. Tonks gave her friends a worried look.

"She's pretty messed up. I don't know what to do. I told her I'd look after her but I have no idea what to say."

"You just need to be there for her," Moody told Tonks.

"I want to be, I really do, but I have to go back to work. I know she'll be looked after here. And I've owled Molly, she should be coming over later." Tonks took a deep breath, feeling sick once more.

"You should go for a lie down too, you know." Mad-Eye suggested. "You're looking a bit peaky yourself." Tonks cringed. _Peaky or pregnant?_

"Yeah, I think I will do that." She rose from her seat too quickly and only just made it upstairs before she was sick in the nearest toilet. _Just what I need! Maybe I can use that bloody umbrella stand as a sick-bucket… I worry about myself sometimes!_

A/N: Abrupt ending I know but I'm trying to figure out where to go from here. I know what I want to happen but not how to get there. I will ponder for a while and get back to you guys in a while.


	25. The guessing game

It had been three days since Hermione's parents had died. Tonks felt as if she hadn't slept since, which was almost true. She sat on a miserable Saturday morning in her chilly office, wishing she was back in bed rather than catching up on her mountainous pile of marking. A knock came at the door. She looked up from her desk, rubbing her naturally dark eyes that itched with fatigue. Tonks morphed them to a bright topaz and turned her hair long wavy hair to its trademark pink spikes before calling for her visitor to enter.

"Morning." It was Harry who was looking as tired as Tonks. He carried two steaming mugs of tea and offered Tonks a brief smile as he elbowed the door shut behind him. Tonks let her features morph back to her natural appearance, revealing her weary eyes. Harry placed a mug down with a thud on the table and Tonks smiled her appreciation.

"You're a star, thank you." The boy observed her for a moment before sitting down on the chair opposite.

"You look rough," he commented. "Are you ok?" The woman nodded dismissively and carried on with her marking. "Tonks…"

"I'm fine Harry, really. I'm just tired." The boy's expression was one of scepticism, but he kept quiet. He sipped his tea, watching Tonks as she worked.

"Something's different about you," he commented all of a sudden, causing Tonks to look up from her desk. He frowned slightly. "What's different?"

"Nothing," Tonks stated, feeling slightly uncomfortable about the way her student was staring at her. He gave an impish grin.

"Yeah there is. I dunno how to explain it, you just seem…weird."

"Oh thanks!"

"You know what I mean…why do you think that is?" Tonks gave a shrug, knowing exactly what it was but keeping quiet. She licked her lips nervously and picked up her quill once more.

"You're hiding something," Harry accused. "What are you keeping from me?" Tonks gave an indignant laugh.

"Harry! I'm not keeping anything from you. If you've just come here to pick at me then you can get lost! Go hang out with Ron or something, go get in to trouble or play in traffic. Do whatever it is you do when I'm not around, just stop bothering me, ok?"

"Fine!" Harry rose, reaching for his mug. "If you'll promise me you aren't hiding anything." Tonks blinked at him. "Can't do it, can you. What is it? Is it something about Hermione?" His tone became concerned. Tonks shook her head quickly.

"No, no. It's nothing to do with Hermione," Tonks admitted causing Harry to grin in triumph.

"So there is something!"

Tonks gave a growl of annoyance and slammed her palms down on the table.

"Fine! I'm keeping something from you. I've admitted it now. Doesn't mean I have to tell you what it is though."

Harry's grin widened and he sat back down on the edge of his chair. He stared at her expectantly causing her to give a sigh of impatience.

"Harry," she warned. "Please stop it."

"Give us a clue."

"No, go away!" But the boy remained, a grin on his face and a look of determination in his bright green eyes. Tonks continued with her work, trying her best to ignore her young friend.

"I've got it!" he exclaimed suddenly. Tonks placed her quill down slowly and looked at him squarely.

"You haven't 'got it'," she teased.

"I so have!"

"What is it then?" Tonks patronised.

"You're pregnant." Tonks' mouth fell in surprise; she hadn't really thought that Harry would guess correctly. She gave a nervous laugh and tucked a piece of dark hair behind one ear.

"What? Don't be so silly…of course I'm not," she lied. The boy looked crestfallen.

"Aren't you?"

"No," she said with stressed indignation. Harry chewed on his lip in thought, once more. He was stuck now, he thought for sure that he had guessed right. He began to tap his fingers on the edge of her desk and hum tunelessly as he pondered.

"Hmmmmm, mmmm."

"Harry…"

"Hmm, mmmmmmm, mmm, mmmmm."

"Harry, pack it in!"

"Hmmmm, mmm, da da daaaaa da da –"

"Fine!" Tonks cried in frustration. "I give in! You were right, ok? I am pregnant." The tapping stopped immediately. Harry's eyes widened in surprise.

"No way!"

"Yes way!"

"You're not just saying that to shut me up?"

"Nope…well yes actually but it's the truth. I'm having a baby." Harry rose from his chair instantaneously and circled the table to throw himself onto Tonks. She gave a laugh.

"This is great!" His squeal resembled Hermione's. "Remus must be chuffed."

Tonks was surprised that Harry had just assumed the baby was Remus' and not Charlie's.

"He doesn't know Harry."

"He soon will do," the boy said, beaming.

"No Harry, please. I'll tell him when I'm ready."

"Maybe I'll just let it slip…" Tonks gave him a thump on the arm.

"Oh I knew I should have kept quiet," she moaned. Harry gave a laugh.

"This is great. I knew something was gonna happen between you guys, I just knew it. Well, it was quite obvious considering he told me that he pretty much wanted to bang you against a wall," the boy teased.

Tonks' mouth fell in shock and embarrassment. She felt her face flush.

"Did he really say that?" She didn't think that Remus Lupin had ever had thoughts like that about anyone in his entire life. Harry nodded.

"Yup," he stretched the truth. "At least…I think he was talking about you." Tonks grabbed him and ruffled his hair.

"Right, that's it. Go on, get. I've had enough of you." The boy grinned and walked across to the door. He turned as he was about to leave.

"Hey, does this mean you won't be our teacher next year?" Harry asked. Tonks hadn't thought about that. She gave a regretful smile.

"I guess so. I'm finishing the year though, whatever happens. I'm not owing Fred and George a Galleon each!" she added firmly. Harry gave a laugh and opened the door.

"Tonks…"

"Yeah?"

"I'm really happy for both of you." He gave a grin, which she returned before leaving her to get on with her marking, shaking her head lightly and feeling truly happy for the first time in a long while.


	26. The letter

Dear Harry,

It's funny, I've been thinking over in my head all of the things I need to say, and all of the things I'm feeling but now, as I put my quill to parchment I seem to be lost for words. First time for everything huh? Suppose you're wondering how I am. I'd be lying if I said I was ok, and you'd know it. Truth is, I don't know how I am, and I don't know how I feel. I'm still waiting to wake up from this dream, this nightmare…I know that must sound strange.

I feel numb, like I'm still in denial. I don't want to talk, I don't want to eat or sleep. I spend most of my time crying up in my room. I have to admit I'm lonely, but I'm not ready to come back. I suppose the reason I'm writing to you is that you must know how I'm feeling…to a certain extent at least. I guess I was lucky in a way; at least I got to know my parents. I should be thankful for that much…but then to have them taken away from me like that. What part of that was fair? I can't even begin to understand why I am now alone.

Please don't blame yourself Harry. It would break my heart so much more to know that you are suffering because of my pain. Although I do not believe that this is 'an unfortunate accident' and that it was 'unavoidable' (as Dumbledore has so charmingly described it), I have no doubt in my mind of who is to blame for this. I know it, and you know it too.

Living here at…well, you know…is not exactly lightening my mood either. I don't know how Lupin copes, or Snuffles for that matter…coped. Lupin has been great. He doesn't realise it but he's helped me a lot. He lent me a book. I didn't feel like reading it at first (a sure sign that something is wrong!) but it's actually been a nice distraction from everything…from this awful house and this awful life!

I'm rambling now, I'm well aware of it. There's a reason for it too. You see…the thing is Harry that I'm writing to you to tell you something but I'm not sure how to say it and I'm not sure how you're going to react. My guessing is a lot better than Ron would react if I told him, which is why I'm writing to you and not him. Like I said, you understand.

Ok, here goes…the thing is Harry I'm tired. I'm fed up of everything that happens to us and although you're strong enough to get through whatever this life throws at us, I'm not sure that I am. Six years ago we were unaware of this world, and unaware of the difficulties that we would have in joining it. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for who I've become…but sometimes I just wish I'd never gotten that letter, and that I'd never become part of something that I can never fully comprehend, and that a tiny part of me wishes I had never met you.

No, that's not true. Well, not really anyway. You and Ron are my life, especially now and I am a better person for knowing you both. You have taught me more than any book and any teacher ever has or ever will. I love you both so much. And this is why it is going to be so hard for me to do this.

Harry…I'm rejoining the Muggle world. I have an uncle, my mother's brother, who I have contacted and he's offered to let me live with him for two years. I'm going to join a college, take my GCSE's and after that who knows. I don't care; I just need to escape from our world. I never thought I'd feel this way, I never thought I'd run when things became too much. Maybe I'm not a Gryffindor after all. Please don't hate me for this, and don't try to change my mind either. I've thought it over a great deal, believe me, and I can't see any other way.

I've arranged a meeting next week at the Ministry, with the Head of the Obliviators. I've written to him a couple of times and he's replied. He's a very understanding man, and has agreed to consider my 'special circumstances'. After that…well, I suppose the last six years of my life will be nothing more than a gap in my mind. But if that's what it takes to make the pain go away then I'm willing to accept the consequences. Don't be angry Harry. I know this will be hard on you, and on Ron, but believe me it is a million times harder for me.

I'd like to say I will think of you, and remember the good times (there have been a fair few, in between the life-threatening danger and petty arguments!). Maybe what I'm doing is wrong, maybe I would regret it, but I guess I'll never know. I've enclosed all the photos that I own of us all. I want you to have them. What's the point in having photos when you can't remember who they are of?

I do not want you to say goodbye, I'm afraid that I'll change my mind. You've lost so many people in your life Harry, and I'm so sorry that I have to be one of them. I only hope that in time you will forgive me and know that, wherever I am, I'm happier not knowing the truth. Talk to Ron for me, it'll be harder for him I know. He won't understand what I'm going through, I know he wants to but he doesn't. Not like you.

Goodbye Harry, I hope…well, I hope this war ends soon and that you stay strong. I will always remember you in my heart. Think of that and be happy.

All my love,

Hermione

x x


	27. Thank you for the icecream

A/N: Aww **Hope** I was kinda pleased to hear that I made you cry, means I'm doing my job properly! Thanks for the reviews guys. This Hermione-thing is an interesting twist, I just thought I'd give Tonks a bit of time off, what with the pregnancy and all. But fear not, she will return shortly. This chapter was not meant to be as long as this, and I never planned it to have anything to do with ice-cream but I guess I was hungry!

* * *

Hermione Granger sat looking glumly into her evening meal. She was sitting at the wooden table being closely watched by Molly Weasley, who was determined to see that the girl eat every mouthful of the meal she had made for her. Remus Lupin sat near by in the chair at the other side of the kitchen. He appeared to be deeply engrossed in the book he was reading and did not seem at all interested in this new eating ritual that Hermione and Mrs Weasley had formed. Hermione played with her food, pushing it around morosely with her fork. Molly gave an impatient sigh. 

"Hermione, dear, are you going to eat anything sometime soon or am I going to have to sit here all night and wait?"

"You're going to have to sit here all night and wait," Hermione mumbled to the table.

"It'll go cold," Mrs Weasley pressed.

"So? I don't care, I'm not hungry." She raised her head to look at the woman squarely. The females locked glares until Molly caved. She rose from her seat, scraping it against the floor.

"Fine. I'll go home. I have other things to do, you know."

"Fine, go do them!" Hermione snapped. Remus looked up.

"Hermione," he said in a warning tone. Molly didn't acknowledge the man at all.

"Goodnight Hermione, I'll see you in the morning. Try to sleep tonight." She headed to the stairs, ignoring Remus as she passed him, and left the kitchen.

Hermione threw her cutlery down on her plate noisily. Pushing it away from her, she gave a sigh of annoyance.

"That woman drives me mad," she announced. Remus put his book down in his lap and looked at the girl, noticing her cheeks were pinked with frustration.

"She cares about you Hermione, we all do. She just wants what's best for you." The girl hung her head, knowing he was right and feeling slightly ashamed. Remus rose and crossed to the table, placing a hand on Hermione's shoulder.

"So you're not hungry then?" He picked up the plate, and took it to the counter.

"Well…" Hermione said quietly.

"What?"

"I could really do with some chocolate ice-cream," she admitted. Remus gave her a warm smile.

"With hot fudge and chocolate sauce?"

"And chopped nuts," she added

"And a chocolate flake."

"And two spoons!"

Remus gave a laugh.

"Ok, ok. I'll see what I can do. But don't you dare tell Molly."

Remus conjured up one of the largest ice-cream sundaes that Hermione had ever seen, before taking a seat beside her and handing her a spoon.

"There you are Miss Granger."

"Thank you Professor Lupin."

"You're very welcome, but like I said don't tell Molly. She hates me enough as it is right now." Hermione gave a nod of promise, and began to lick chocolate sauce off her spoon. Remus took a scoop of the chocolate ice cream and enjoyed every second that it lasted in his mouth. He had not tasted chocolate ice cream in a very long time, and wondered why on earth not.

"Chocolate ice cream before bed, that can't be good for you," Hermione mused but continued to eat.

"Well, if it gets you eating again then we will have it for every meal that you eat under this roof … Would you listen to me, I'd make such a bad parent!"

His words triggered a memory in Hermione's mind and she looked up sharply.

"What?" Remus asked. "Oh…I'm sorry, that was insensitive of me." Hermione gave a small frown then shook her head. Clearly, he had no idea of the significance of his own words. Hermione gave a weak smile and carried on licking her spoon.

"Don't worry about it, it's not that."

Remus gave a little frown in return. Hermione lowered her spoon and licked her lips; they were cold and tasted sweet. "Lupin listen…" She paused, wondering why she had even thought of sharing Tonks' secret. Hermione shook her head again and picked up her spoon once more. "Forget it, it doesn't matter."

They sat in silence for a long while after that. Hermione was shocked when her spoon tapped on glass and she realised that they had reached the bottom. She turned to Remus who looked slightly disappointed.

"I can't believe we just ate all of that."

"What do you mean girl? I'm ready for round two!" Hermione gave a small giggle. She liked Remus. He had been such a comfort to her over the past month, and she was going to miss him when she left. She knew he would miss her too; Grimmauld Place was not a nice place to spend your time, especially without company. But Remus had been there for her, and she for him. And when the next week came, and she took the trip to the Ministry, she knew he would be at her side.

"Lupin, thank you," she said all of a sudden. He smiled at her.

"Hermione, it's a pleasure. Really, don't mention it. I hope you're feeling better." The girl nodded. "Good. And thank you too. It's been nice to have someone around, even under the circumstances. You know, you and me we're quite similar…then again there are major differences." He gave a laugh. "More ice cream?" The girl shook her head.

"No, I'm afraid I'll be sick."

"Ah, well perhaps not then. Maybe for breakfast, we'll see if Molly's around–"

"Hermione!" a familiar voice suddenly filled the room. The two frown at each other and looked around.

"Hermione!" the voice called again. It was coming from the fire grate. Hermione closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Harry…" she whispered to herself. Getting to her knees, shesat before the hearth. Remus turned around in his seat and saw the boy's head in the fire. He did not look happy.

"What the hell is this?" he demanded, without any greeting whatsoever. Remus could see a piece of parchment protruding from the green flames.

"It's–" Hermione began but Harry cut her off.

"I'll tell you what it is, it's a load of bullshit! That's what it is!" the boy shouted. Hermione gave a shudder.

"Harry," Remus said, in a tone of caution. "What are you doing up at this time? And where are you?"

"Tonks' office," he supplied casually, then turned his attention back to his friend. "Hermione, what are you playing at?"

"I really can't talk about this right now, Harry," she said quietly.

"Tough! Come on, I want to know! What part of this," he waved the piece of parchment again, "was I supposed to 'understand'? The bit where you said you wish you had never met me–"

"I didn't mean it like that!"

"– Or the bit that says you want me out of your life? That the last six years meant nothing to you!"

"Harry, please don't be angry," Hermione pleaded, tears forming in her eyes. Her friend just glared back at her, the fury in his green eyes emphasised by the emerald flames.

"Well I am," he said quietly, and the gentle tone hurt Hermione so much more than if he had screamed at her. The rustling of paper could be heard, and then a ball of parchment landed by Hermione's side. "Thanks a lot, Hermione. Have a nice life." And with that the flames crackled and Harry was gone, leaving his best friend to cry.

Remus joined her on the floor and took her hands in his.

"Come on, don't cry," he soothed. Hermione gave a sob.

"I thought he would understand," she said through a staggered breath. Remus put his arm around her and she cried onto his shoulder.

"Perhaps he will, in time. He's bound to be angry and upset, Hermione. He's losing a best friend and that's never easy," Remus spoke, knowing all too well of the truth in his words.

"You think I'm making a mistake?"

"Only you can answer that. Give Harry some time, and then talk to him. He deserves the chance to say goodbye at least." Hermione nodded onto the man's shoulder.

"You're right," she sniffled.

"Of course I am. Now I think it's time you went to bed, don't you? And by bed I mean sleep." He kissed her lightly on the head and then helped her up. Hermione rubbed at her eyes. She had to admit that she was tired, but she doubted that she could sleep (she never couldthese days), especially after her confrontation with Harry.

"I'll try," she said wearily and climbed the stairs.

"Goodnight, Hermione."

"Goodnight, Professor Lupin. Thank you for the ice-cream."


	28. You are my rock

A/N: This chapter is so sad :(

To Hermione, the village of Hogsmeade had always seemed so quaint and chocolate-box. It's quirky buildings held an almost grotesque beauty, shadowed by that of Hogwarts Castle. As she looked up to her old school, which seemed as if it floated on a cloud in this misty morning, she had a sudden feeling of regret.

The morning was damp and Hermione's shoes squeaked on the grass as she moved. The hood to her cloak was raised, in a vain attempt to protect her frizzy hair from the moisture in the air. The girl sniffled as she made her way onto the cobbled streets and through the village. She rounded the corner and stopped outside Madam Puddifoot's Teashop and took a deep breath, lowering her hood. Would Harry already be inside? Would he turn up at all? _Of course he will_, she said firmly to herself, _it was his idea._

When Hermione had caught a glimpse of Hedwig's white feathers outside her bedroom the morning after their argument, Hermione's heart had given a leap of joy. The owl had carried a note, albeit a brief one, from Harry that read

_I'm sorry. I don't hate you I'm just upset.  
__I think we need to talk._

_Love H._

Hermione had clung tightly to the note all morning, until she could think of an appropriate time and place to meet her friend.

And so the pair had decided to meet on a Sunday morning, three days before Hermione's appointment at the Ministry.  
Hermione placed her hand on the door and opened it decisively. The small bell at the top of the door frame gave a light tinkle, causing a few of the occupants to raise their heads then lower them back down to their beverages. Included in these people was one sixteen-year-old boy with dark, messy hair. His emerald eyes fell on Hermione briefly before falling back to the frilly, pink tablecloth. Hermione made her way over to her friend, then stood by the table as the boy refused to look at her.

"Hello," she began timidly.

"Hello." His tone was curt and Hermione faltered. Harry nodded to the vacant chair opposite. "Sit." Hermione did as she was told and looked at her hands. A thin, middle-aged waitress came over to the table and looked at them expectantly.

"Do you want a drink?" Harry muttered gruffly. Hermione shook her head.

"No thank you," she said quietly.

"Two teas," Harry told the waitress. She scribbled a brief note on a pad and scuttled off.

Hermione was thankful for the clinking of teaspoons and the dull hubbub of the other customers, as it made the silence between the two of them more bearable. She glanced around the café, in mock-interest. Harry cleared his throat and she looked back at him.

"So…how've you been?" he asked almost casually.

"Ok."

"Hermione…"

"Awful, ok? You know Harry so don't ask!" she snapped at him then immediately regretted it. Her temper had been so short recently, and she hated it. She gave a sigh. "I'm sorry," she mumbled. Harry gave a shrug as the waitress brought their drinks over.

"Don't worry about it…Thanks," he added to the witch as she began to walk away from the table. Hermione stared deeply into her unwanted drink.

"How's Ron?" she plucked up the courage to ask. Harry just smirked.

"You think I'm angry, you should see him! It's like you said though…why would he understand?" He gave a bitter laugh and Hermione winced.

"Harry–"

"Don't, ok? I really don't want to talk about it," he said firmly, rubbing his forehead despairingly. His fringe parted slightly, showing his infamous scar. Hermione's eyes landed on it briefly. After spending six years with the boy, Hermione had almost forgotten about the scar completely. To her, it wasn't an important part of him at all it was just something that was there. To Hermione, there was so much more to Harry Potter.

"Why are you here then?" she asked him, her eyes finally meeting his.

"To say goodbye," he said pointedly. "What's the point in making you change your mind? Even if I did, things wouldn't be the same between us. _This_ would always be there. You would constantly resent me for making you stay and we would constantly wonder whether you were going to leave at any minute. So, like I said Hermione, we shouldn't talk about it." He picked up his cup and took a dramatic sip of his tea. Hermione just stared at him, shocked. It wasn't the reaction she was expecting at all.

"And Ron feels the same way?" she was almost afraid to ask. Harry nodded, swallowing, and lowered his cup back to the table.

"To an extent…after all, Ron's incapable of feeling anything isn't he." His snide tone angered Hermione.

"Excuse me! I never said that! You're twisting my words now Harry."

A couple sat at a table near by, glance over then quickly turned away as Harry's glare fell on them.

"You've been implying that for the last six years!" he snapped then sighed. "I don't want to fight Hermione, I really don't."

"Neither do I."

"Good."

The pair sat in silence once more. Hermione could feel her chest rising and falling heavily in the uncomfortable situation. She played with her fingers as a distraction.

"I'm really sorry about your parents," Harry said quietly. Hermione's hands froze andlooked up at him, see that he truly meant it. Sheburst into tears. Harry bit his bottom lip and his face softened for the first time since seeing his grieving friend. He left his seat and crouched by her, taking her hands. The couple were staring again, and they weren't the only ones. Half the tearoom were more interested in what was happening with the two teenagers rather than their own conversations. Harry glowered around the room and heads snapped away.

"Hermione, please don't cry." He tried to look up to her eyes, through her great mass of brown hair. "Come on, don't do this. See this is why you can't leave…you need us Hermione. You're upset, don't walk away we only want to help you. Stay please."

"Harry!" Hermione sniffled in exasperation.

"Please! All that stuff I just said about not wanting to change your mind…it was a lie. You know it was. Of course I want you to change your mind."

"Harry no, I can't." Hermione stood and knocked the table, her untouched drink sloshing onto the frilly tablecloth. "I didn't come here to be persuaded. It's like you said Harry…we should just say goodbye." She picked up her cloak from the back of her chair and headed out of the door. Harry hurriedly delved in his pocket for a coin, threw it haphazardly on their table and followed his friend out into the bright street leaving the bell tinkling behind them.

Hermione had already gotten quite far down the road and Harry had to jog to catch up with her.

"Hermione wait!" he breathed. She stopped but didn't turn around.

"For what? Wait my entire life to feel better? For the pain to go away?" Harry saw her lower her head to look at the cobbled floor. "I'd rather not."

She carried on walking and Harry went after her. Many students were out in the streets, enjoying their free weekend. They stopped to watch as Harry chased after Hermione. He was annoyed to see Cho Chang with her group of giggling girls, staring and smirking as Hermione ignored him. Harry had the sudden urge to throw a bucket of water at them just to see what would happen. Would they scatter like birds? Or was there really some invisible force that held them together? He shook his head clearing it of the ridiculous thought, and shouted Hermione once more.

"Would you just listen!" This time Hermione spun around in her tracks.

"Why Harry? So you can make me feel even worse than I already do? You have no idea what this is doing to me! You're right, you can't possibly understand. And you'll not change my mind so stop trying."

"I can't… I love you Hermione." The street went eerily quiet. Hermione blinked at him.

"What?" she croaked. Harry wished Cho wasn't still staring. He felt his face getting warm and licked his lips uncomfortably.

"Well, what I mean is, I love having you around. You're the closest thing I have to a sister. You're my best friend…fair enough I have Ron but you're right, he is pretty useless sometimes." The corner of Harry's mouth twitched in a smile and Hermione's did the same. "You help me out with my homework even though you've told me a zillion times not to leave it to the night before. You always put things into perspective for me when I'm being to narrow minded to see the bigger picture…need I go on?" Hermione needed a moment to take in all he had thrown at her. She nodded slightly.

"Carry on…"

"Um…well you're bossiness is endearing." Hermione laughed. "And last summer," Harry's tone became serious, "when…well when you nearly died it was all my fault, and I swore to myself back then that I would never let anything bad happen to you guys again. And now this has happened and it's my fault. I've let you down again Hermione, and I'm so sorry." Tears were streaking down Hermione's cheeks now and she moved towards Harry and held him, in the middle of the street with everyone staring, but Harry didn't care at all.

"Please stay, Hermione. I need you. I can't fight this war without you. You're my rock." Hermione pulled away from him slightly but she still clung tightly to his arms. She didn't meet his gaze, but he saw a brief nod and heard her sigh.

"Ok," she whispered and he pulled her back into an embrace.

"Thank you, Hermione. I'll look after you, I promise. This time I'll get it right."

A/N: Awww, you didn't think I was just gonna let her walk away and leave him behind did you? Would have probably been more dramatic but I love the mushy stuff. What you think?


	29. Uh oh!

A/N: I'm in the middle of my assessment weeks right now, hence the lack of updates. This chapter isn't finished, but I'll put the second half in a following post coz it ends nicely as it is. Will try to update soon! (Ps, I'm aware that I'm letting Harry have a lot of Hogsmeade visits, I just figured that the older years could have more freedom as to when they went…who am I kidding, I just felt like it, ok?)

The spring days were becoming warmer. Harry was most pleased to find that the sun was shining was he dressed for his trip to Hogsmeade. Ron sat on the edge of his bed, pulling on his socks and giving a huff as he struggled to do so. Harry had made the mistake of asking Ron if he wanted to come with him to meet Remus for a drink in the Three Broomsticks to which Ron had replied that, no, he didn't want to meet Remus at all as "the guy is a complete jerk." Ron had then gone on to say that he would rather hang out with his little sister than Harry, if he was going to see that "low life." Harry had pointed out that Ron had once liked this so-called low life, causing a scowl and a vow of silence from his temperamental friend.

Harry made his way down to the village alone, watching the groups of students in front. He gave a wave to Hagrid who was making his way across the grounds, carrying some unrecognisable dead creature over his shoulder.

As Harry entered the village he checked his watch; 10:57, he would be right on time. He made his way to the Three Broomsticks and sat on a bench outside to wait for his old professor. Remus finally arrived at almost 11:15, a sheepish smile on his face.

"Hello there –"

"Hello there yourself! You're late. Cho Chang's just walked past with a group of mates who were giggling at me," he said with revulsion. "She probably thought I'd been stood up or something." He cringed.

"I'm too much of a gentleman to ever stand you up, Harry," Remus joked as they entered the pub. Ginny was sat with a group of friends by the door. She gave a wave as they passed. Harry noticed that Ron wasn't with her. _Probably still sulking_, he thought, and then came to the conclusion that he didn't really care. They ordered their drinks and took a table near the window.

"Ron not with you," Remus stated as they sat. Harry shook his head.

"Nah, he still hates you," he said honestly. Remus wrinkled his nose in an obvious lack of caring. They sat quietly for a while, Remus watching Harry, Harry watching the table.

"You're quiet," the elder noted. "Anything wrong?" The boy shook his head and took a sip of his Butterbeer to hide his discomfort. After swallowing rather large mouthful, he spoke up.

"I'm just thinking."

"Now I know something's wrong." Harry threw Remus a scowl. "So…you didn't bring Tonks along with you?" At this, Harry knocked his drink slightly, causing it to slosh onto the round wooden table between them. _Keep your mouth shut!_

"Er…no she's busy," he replied too quickly then looked down at the table, noting the mess he'd just made. Remus frowned.

"Surely Tonks isn't working over the weekend, that's not like her at all," Remus mused. Harry felt his face going red. "She can't be feeling well."

"Umm actually you're right."

"I am?"

"Yeah, she… she's ill." Harry felt like kicking himself.

"Oh," Remus looked genuinely concerned. "Perhaps I should go see her later." _No!_

"Er, no! No, don't do that. She's been asleep all day, all weekend actually, yeah. She'll be fine." Harry took another hurried gulp of his drink and offered his friend his best smile of conviction. Remus was unconvinced but let it drop.

"Hermione says hi." Harry was relieved of the change of topic.

"Really? How's she doing?"

"Better," Lupin admitted. "It may be some time before she's ready to come back to school. Still, she's realising that she's going to have to move on. Though I don't think she'll ever get over it."

"No, I don't suppose she will," Harry mumbled. They fell silent again as a group of 3rd Years passed their table.

"You know, I think I will go check up on Tonks," Remus announced, causing Harry to cringe.

"Nah, you don't need to. I checked on her earlier. She's fine really, looking better already. In fact she's better than fine, she's great!" _Positively glowing…shut up!_

"But you said she's been asleep all day." Harry froze, thinking fast.

"Did I?" he stammered. "Well, not _all_ day… In fact, yes all day. I haven't seen her. I'm getting confused with another day. I see her around all the time, it's hard to keep track." He gave a nervous giggle. Remus raised his eyebrows.

"Ok, Harry what's going on?"

"Huh? Nothing. Why would you think…um nothing."

"Is something going on with Tonks?" Harry's face was getting hotter by the second. He looked around the lively bar, as if in search of something to distract Remus. He found nothing.

"Tonks? Um, no I don't think so…why? Did she say something? … I don't see her much anyway. She hasn't mentioned anything, you'd have to ask her yourself." Harry said all-too-quickly, and then gave a nervous grin.

"Ah, I think I know what's going on here," Remus said quietly. Harry's face fell in horror.

"You do?"

"Uh huh," Remus nodded. "Don't look so worried Harry. Lots of boys your age get crushes on their school teachers." Harry's mouth dropped further, only this time out of indignation.

"What? Remus…no! I can't believe you would even think that! That's just so wrong!" The boy gave a cringe and Remus laughed.

"So I've got it wrong then?"

"Very wrong!" Harry insisted, feeling incredibly embarrassed. Remus gave a sigh.

"Fine then Harry, you tell me. What's going on?" He looked squarely into the boy's green eyes. Harry squirmed in discomfort.

"Tonks is pregnant!" The words fell out of his mouth without him meaning to say them. When Remus failed to react, Harry hoped that he had just said the words in his head. This hope was soon quashed when Remus began to speak quietly.

"Right…I, uh, hmm. You sure?" Harry nodded. "Right…is she sure?" Harry nodded again. "Right…I should go see her."

"No you can't, I wasn't supposed to say!" Harry pleaded, but Remus rose slowly. Harry grabbed at his arm and yanked him back down to his seat and knocking over the dregs of his Butterbeer. They flowed into a pool on the table.

"Uh oh. Listen, stay there I'll be right back." Harry leapt up, ran to the bar to borrow a cloth from Madam Rosmerta, and then rushed back to find that Remus hadn't moved an inch. He wasn't even blinking. Harry didn't know whether to be worried. He quickly passed a hand in front of Remus' eyes. The man scowled and gave him a sharp tap on the back of his hand. Harry withdrew it with a wince. He began to mop up the mess he'd made and spoke to Remus casually.

"Don't worry about it, mate. It's fine…Hey it might not even be yours anyway." He looked shifty as Remus continued to glare at him. "Ok it is. But it's no big deal…it's not as if you have to marry her or anything, this is the twenty-first century after all." Remus did not seem to take comfort in the boy's words. Harry began to chuckle.

"What's so funny?" Remus asked distantly.

"You sly old dog!" he said with a grin. "I knew you wanted to bang her against a wall!"

"Right, that's it. I'm off. I'll see you later." He rose hurriedly, leaving Harry sat alone at their table, dreading his next run-in with Tonks.


	30. Lies

Tonks was lying on her bed in her room at Hogwarts, staring blankly at the ceiling. In fact, this had been her pastime for the whole morning from 5am when she was woken abruptly by nausea. In between then she had showered, dress in her old jeans, thrown up a dozen or so times and resumed her position on her bed to gaze at an unspecific spot. Tonks knew that it was a very unconstructive way to spend her morning, but she had to admit that she was enjoying it much more than she thought she would.

A loud rap came at the door and Tonks snapped her head towards it, frowning. Finding the energy to move, she sat up on the edge of the bed. The knock came again, louder and more persistent this time. Tonks sighed loudly. She pulled the tie out from her dark hair and morphed in to a bob of tight emerald ringlets as she went to the door.

"I'm coming, hang on," she called as the knock came again. Opening the door forcefully, she was confronted by a familiar face.

"Kingsley, what –" She was cut off as her friend widened his eyes briefly, as in warning. Only then did Tonks realise that he was not alone. A middle-aged man with a pompous air to him pushed past the male Auror and stood face to face with Tonks. The man's name was Scrimgeour, Head of the Auror Office at the Ministry. He stared beadily at Tonks and she scowled back.

"Good morning, Nymphadora. May we come in?" He didn't wait for a reply, but pushed her aside to enter the room. Kingsley followed him, staring significantly at Tonks as he passed her. She wished he would stop doing it, as it was of no help at all. Baffled, she closed the door behind the two men.

"I believe you remember Kingsley Shacklebolt from your days at the Ministry." Kingsley gave Tonks a curt nod.

"Yes. Would you mind telling me what this is all about?" She asked Scrimgeour in annoyance, ignoring her friend's greeting.

"Well, Nymphadora–"

"It's Tonks actually."

" –I'm not sure if you are aware of our ongoing investigation into the murder of your aunt, Bellatrix Black, almost four months ago now." Tonks froze at his words, feeling her queasy stomach fall suddenly. She refused to meet Kingsley's gaze. Tonks swallowed quickly.

"It…it's Bellatrix Lestrange actually, sir. And, yes, I am vaguely aware of the investigation." Tonks tried to make her voice sound as strong as possible, though it was very difficult with a mouth as dry as dust.

"Well then you will understand why I would like to ask you a few questions–"

"Not really, no."

" –As you are one of her remaining relatives," he continued. "I had hoped to have spoken to your mother but unfortunately I have not been able to contact her. I don't suppose you would know where she is?" He looked smug, as if knowing that the answer would be no. Tonks risked a glance over at Kingsley, who stood with his hands behind his back, his face expressionless.

"No, I don't. She's out of the country. I've not spoken to her since before Christmas."

"A bit of a coincidence, don't you think, that her sister was found murdered around that same time?" Tonks bit her lip. It certainly did look that way. She would never forgive herself if her mother were to be accused of her own crime.

"Not really," Tonks tried to keep her tone casual. "They've gone to live near my father's relatives, Muggles. They always talked about doing it, when I had settled down." That was partly true, Tonks tried to justify herself.

"Then you must know their whereabouts." Scrimgeour pressed.

"I told you…no." Tonks muttered through clenched teeth. She wanted to sit down, have a glass of water, but she was worried that any movement would convey guilt and chose to remain standing.

"When was the last time you saw Bellatrix Black?" Scrimgeour asked loudly, breaking Tonks out of her reverie.

"Lestrange. And I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"No I don't remember. We weren't close." Scrimgeour took a step towards the witch and she resisted the temptation to take a step back.

"I think you're lying," he whispered in her face. "Am I to take it then," he had brought his voice back up for the benefit of Kingsley, "that you are glad your aunt is dead?"

"I never said that," Tonks said quickly, her voice cracking slightly. Scrimgeour gave her a patronising smile.

"Of course not. But Bellatrix Black was hardly your favourite relative was she."

"Lestrange!" _He's doing it on purpose now,_ Tonks thought, _he's trying to break me._ "No, she wasn't ok!"

"Really? And why might that be?" Scrimgeour asked almost casually.

"You know why!" Tonks shouted at him. Scrimgeour blinked at her in mild curiosity. Tonks was getting frustrated. She looked at Kingsley, who shook his head ever so slightly. She knew what he meant; keep quiet, don't mention the war. But Tonks was panicking. She didn't know what to say. There were too many lies around her and they were tearing her apart.

"Because she was a Death Eater," Tonks mumbled quietly.

"Ah, yes so she was," Scrimgeour sang. "But you have dealt with Death Eaters before, it was your job. No…if you were to have killed her then there would have to have been more to it than that."

"I didn't kill her!" Tonks screamed suddenly. She was breathing heavily as her words hung in the air. She had done it; she had lied to save herself. _No, I'm doing this for my child_, a part of her tried to reason. But Tonks had a sudden sense of guilt and selfishness come upon her. Silence fell uncomfortably. Tonks wished she were alone again, staring at her ceiling.

"Tell me about Sirius Black." Scrimgeour's sudden words made Tonks whimper. She couldn't deal with this, not Sirius, not now. She gave a sniffle.

"What about him?" she mumbled.

"He was a relative of yours also, I believe. Is that correct?" _You know it is!_ Tonks thought. She refused to answer and remained staring at the floor.

"Yes, it is," Kingsley's deep voice spoke up from the corner. Scrimgeour nodded to him.

"Were you close with Black?" Silence.

"Yes," Tonks whispered feebly.

"Then his death must have affected you badly."

"You don't know anything about that!" Tonks hissed at him testily.

"No I don't. Why don't you share it with me." Tonks blinked at him defiantly. She chose now to sit on the edge of her bed, not really caring what subconscious message this gave her former boss.

"Have you ever heard of a place called Oakedene Farm?"

"No."

"Have you ever been there?"

"I just told you…I haven't heard of it!"

"Well then, let me inform you. It was the place where your aunt was murdered, on a cold early morning last December. She was attacked using a Muggle weapon, then left for dead in the barn. This bringing anything back to you?" he asked mockingly. Tonks refused to answer.

"Shacklebolt…" Tonks saw Kingsley move out of the corner of her eye, and pass something to his boss. "Do you recognise this, Nymphadora?" Tonks raised her head slowly and saw a familiar looking, blood-stained knife. She felt like fainting, and was extremely grateful that she had chosen to sit down.

"No."

"No? Are you sure? Take a closer look." He moved the knife closer to the witch. It barely caught the light with it's deep red staining.

"I've never seen it before in my life," Tonks' voice held a sudden strength. She knew that there was no going back. She had lied, and would have to continue to do so.

"Are you sure?" Scrimgeour asked again.

"Are my fingerprints on it?" Tonks asked sarcastically, but in truth she actually wanted to know.

"No, it would seem that whoever used this weapon was clever enough to clean up after themselves," he admitted. _Or someone else_, Tonks thought feeling incredibly grateful towards Kingsley and Mad-Eye. She rose from her bed and faced Scrimgeour squarely.

"If you don't mind, sir, I would like to be getting on with my work now." Her confidence surprised him, and herself also but she didn't show it. "If I can help you in any other way, let me know. But I am rather busy right now, so I would appreciate it if you would leave. She walked to the door and opened it for the two men. Scrimgeour looked at her intently.

"Very well, Nymphadora–"

"Tonks."

"Tonks…but you lied to me before. Answer me this…I know you know…when was the last time you saw Bellatrix Lestrange?" Tonks met his grey eyes directly.

"Last summer, in the Ministry of Magic…the Department of Mysteries to be precise. She killed my cousin, Sirius Black, and that was the last time I saw her. And you were right, sir, I am glad she's dead, but I did not kill her."

They locked stares for several seconds before Scrimgeour nodded briefly.

"Thank you for your time, Tonks." The man brushed past her and through the door, followed by Kingsley who offered Tonks a looked of concern before leaving the woman on her own again.

She slammed the door angrily, feeling herself trembling with shock and fear, before sliding down the door and onto the floor where she began to cry.


	31. The 'talk'

A/N: This chapter is mainly dialogue, but it's a conversation that I think you guys have been waiting for :)

Remus knocked tentatively on the door, and then stood staring at it in reluctance. What was he going to say? Hello there, just heard the news, congrats? He swallowed hard and realised his knock hadn't been answered. Frowning slightly, Remus knocked once more. Again there was no reply, though the man swore he heard movement from behind the door. Hesitantly, he reached for the doorknob and opened the door ajar.

"Nymphadora?" he called quietly. A muffled voice came as a reply, and Remus opened the door fully to see Tonks curled up on her bed, a soggy tissue held tightly in one hand. She gave a shudder of a sob and brought the tissue back up to her face. Remus closed the door immediately and went over to her. His own thoughts left his mind, as concern for his friend filled him. He perched on the edge of the wooden bed and brushed Tonks' naturally dark fringe out from her damp eyes to look into them.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" he asked. Tonks simply sobbed a response into her pillow. Remus didn't hear a word of it, but comforted her nonetheless, gently prising her up to rest her against himself. He stroked her back softly and shushed her as she gulped for air.

"Kingsley came over…" she managed to mutter into his chest after a while. "With Scrimgeour, the Head of Auror." Remus nodded, indicating that he knew who he was. "Wanted to talk to me about Bellatrix." She said her aunt's name weakly, as if the very sound of it made her want to break down once more. "He just kept questioning me, and not just about her, about Sirius too. I didn't know what to say and I kept getting more and more agitated. I could tell Kingsley was trying to help me out but I froze. What could I say?" she asked, rhetorically. Tonks gave a shudder of a breath and continued. "So I lied. When he asked me if I was there that morning; I lied. When he asked me if I'd seen the knife before; I lied –"

"What else could you have done?" Remus cut in. "Told Scrimgeour the truth? You'd be in Azkaban right now!"

"Maybe."

"No, not maybe Nymphadora," he insisted firmly. "You did the right thing." Tonks pushed away from his chest to look at him.

"The right thing? Remus, I killed someone! That's not the right thing! Then I blatantly lied about it, that's not the right thing!" she shouted at him. Remus opened his mouth to retaliate but she silenced him with a raised hand. "Whether she deserved it or not, that's not the issue here. The fact is that I've done a terrible thing, and to make the guilt even worse, I've gotten away with it. And I'm going to have to live with that for the rest of my life…I'm not sure I can do that, Remus." She swung her legs over the side of the bed and rested her elbows on her knees, cupping her head in her hands. Remus sat up too.

"Do you think you could have spent the rest of your life in Azkaban?" he asked her quietly and saw her dark head shake in response.

"No," she said to the floor, "it's just…I'm torn between wanting to be punished and feeling incredibly grateful that I've not been." She gave a dry, ironic laugh. "To think, Sirius was wrongfully imprisoned and here I am getting away with the same crime!" The connection to her cousin sent her into further emotion turmoil. She let out a growl of frustration and thumped her mattress with angry fists.

"What am I doing?" she groaned. "I have to go to Scrimgeour. I have to find him, I have to tell him!" She rose from the bed hurriedly, looking around for her trainers and a jacket. Remus began to panic.

"What exactly are you going to tell him?"

"The truth," Tonks admitted, pulling on her shoes as she stood and wobbling as she struggled to do so. "A lifetime in Azkaban must be easier to live than a lifetime of unpunished guilt." She found a jacket and wrenched it on.

"Stop! Nymphadora, wait! Please!" Remus pleaded as he followed her to the door. She opened it and stood in the doorway.

"I can't Remus. This has gone on long enough. It's time to face the consequences." As she turned to leave, Remus knew that it was now or never.

"And what about the baby?" he called desperately, stopping her in her tracks. She turned to him slowly, blinking in surprise. _That's detention for you Potter!_

"Wh…what?"

"Harry told me you were pregnant," Remus mumbled feebly. There was a long gap of silence before Remus added casually, "Are you pregnant, Tonks?"

"No."

"No?"

"Yes."

"Yes?"

"Remus, please!" Tonks hissed in irritation.

"Sorry," he mumbled. Tonks paused briefly.

"I was gonna tell you Remus, I swear. I was just afraid of how you'd react so I kept quiet."

"But you told Harry!" he exclaimed in annoyance.

"Yeah I told Harry," Tonks admitted awkwardly. "And Hermione too, but they are the only two people that know, honest."

"Hermione! Hermione knew? I've been living with her for over a month and she never told me." Remus was more than annoyed at this newfound information.

"I think she's got other things on her mind Remus, don't you?" Tonks pointed out. Remus nodded absently. "Plus I did tell her to keep quiet and, unlike Harry, _she_ can keep a secret."

"I don't believe this," Remus groaned weakly. "I had hoped Harry was winding me up." His words hurt and infuriated Tonks.

"It's not as if I did this on purpose you know!" she hissed. "I've not had a say in this either! And I've had to deal with this for the past 3 months! You've been completely oblivious to all of this, think yourself lucky."

"Oh yes, I'm so lucky that you kept this small matter from me," he said sarcastically. "Thanks a lot Tonks, that was so thoughtful of you." He looked angry and she knew he was. She felt like a schoolgirl who had been caught misbehaving at school and scolded by her favouriteteacher. But this wasn't her teacher this was Remus, and she wasn't his student she was his best friend.

"I meant to tell you…I really wanted to but I couldn't. I didn't know how," she said to her shoes.

"But you told Harry," he cried. "You told Hermione. It didn't occur to you that I might need to know? That I might have wanted to know?"

"No," Tonks muttered simply.

"No," he echoed. "Of all the things to happen…I even thought Harry had a crush on you," Remus said wearily. Tonks gave a laugh. She couldn't help it, with all the stress and nervous tension, it was either that or cry.

"Oh he probably does," she replied lightly.

Eventually she closed the door and took a seat back down on her bed. Remus joined her though he wasn't sure why. The couple sat for a long time, avoiding each other's gaze.

"You're mad at me aren't you?" she asked after a while.

"No, I'm not mad at you. I just wished you'd told me sooner, that's all." He seemed disappointed and Tonks felt a sudden surge of guilt, as if she had really let him down.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly. He let her words hang between them before speaking again.

"So where does this leave us?" Remus asked suddenly. Tonks gave an internal cringe, wishing she had had the sense to ask first.

"I don't know," she whispered. "Oh, this is such a mess." She lay backwards on her bed. Remus joined her, propping his head up with his hand. "I dunno, I don't want things to change between us. You're my best friend and I'd just gotten comfortable with this whole '_Will and Grace'_ '_When Harry Met Sally'_ dependent vibe we had going on."

"Huh?" Remus was once again confused by the vibrant young woman. She shook her head dismissively.

"Never mind. The thing is…Remus…I'm not sure if I love you." Tonks let her words linger and hoped that she hadn't hurt him too much. She was rather surprised to find Remus nodding his agreement.

"Glad to hear it because I feel the same," he admitted. Tonks was stunned.

"You do?"

"Of course. Don't get me wrong Nymphadora; I care about you a great deal. You are my life. I'm just not sure how I feel about you…in that way…and I'd rather not make myself love you just because you're carrying my child." It was the first time either of them had said it aloud, but it didn't seem strange. It felt right.

"That's fair enough," Tonks mumbled. She swung her legs slightly against the side of her bed in a rather childlike manner. Remus watched her for a moment.

"Dora…"

"Yes?"

"Never mind."

"Go on." Remus took a deep breath before asking his question.

"Do…do you wish it were Charlie's and not mine?" The leg-swinging stopped, and Tonks lay very still.

"I can't believe you just asked me that," she said quietly. Her tone was not angry, rather indignant. Remus wished he hadn't asked.

"I'm sorry, I take it back."

"Can't take it back," Tonks shook her head. "It's already 'out there' now."

"And you still haven't answered," Remus pointed out. Tonks gave a growl.

"What do you want me to say Remus?" she huffed. "Yes, I wish it were Charlie's? It's not that simple and you know it. Maybe it would be easier for us if it were Charlie's but it's not so there's no point thinking on it," she said firmly. Remus felt he had been put in his place, and decided to let it go.

"Would this be an ideal opportunity to say that I think you should move in to Grimmauld Place?" he spoke up. Tonks gave him a quizzical look.

"You're asking me to move in with you?"

"Oh come on Nymphadora, I'd hardly put it like that. It's your house! And you spend most of your free time there anyway. I just thought it would make sense that's all." Tonks nodded in agreement.

"You're right, maybe I will move in." She sat up quickly, giving herself head rush, and gave a nervous laugh.

"I'm scared, Remus."

"I'm terrified," the man admitted.

"We'll be ok though, won't we?" He nodded to her without hesitation and she believed him. "Great, then let's have a baby."

"Yeah, let's have a baby," Remus breathed.

"Still terrified?"

"You bet!" Tonks gave a bark of a laugh, which reminded Remus so much of Sirius. He leaned in and kissed her gently on the cheek. "I should get going, sweetheart. I've lost Harry…I should find him before it gets dark," he joked. Tonks gave a pout of disappointment but nodded.

"Ok, when you find him kick his ass for me."

"I'll do my best," Remus assured her, rising from the bed. "I'll see you in a couple of nights at the next meeting."

"Right. If you see Kingsley before then, send him over for some serious words!" Remus laughed and nodded. He headed for the door and looked back at his friend who remained perched on the edge of her bed.

"Take care of yourself, Dora. If you need anything, anything at all, then just let me know." She grinned.

"Right, so when I need someone to hold my hair back while I puke at 3am, then I'll give you a shout, ok?"

"…Or Harry, whatever," he said quickly and she laughed. "By the way, if that child is born with red hair you are in serious trouble!" She stuck her tongue out and threw her pillow at him, missing by a great deal. "Goodbye, Nymphadora."

"Goodbye, Remus."

As he closed the door behind him, Tonks felt more comfortable with her pregnancy than she ever had been and wished she had told Remus sooner. She lay back down on her bed and gave a sigh. Maybe things were going to be alright after all.

A/N: And maybe not…we'll see how evil I'm feeling, hee hee hee.


	32. A visitor

A/N: This is the last of the "Tonks' bedroom" chapters,I have realised that I've done many of them.

Having told Remus Tonks' little secret (and gotten away with it rather mildly), Harry continued to share the news, whether he was allowed to or not. Naturally, he had told Ron and Ginny straight away. Ginny was thrilled, Ron…less so. Of course, Ron then had to tell his mother, who was also less than please but still managed to spread the news like wildfire, even to those who did not have a clue who Remus and Nymphadora were.

When Kingsley Shacklebolt had arrived at Tonks' door again, this time with Mad-Eye Moody to offer their congratulations, Tonks decided to hunt Harry down and give him a chiding. Having realised that he had crossed a line, Harry had then spent every free moment of the following week chasing Tonks and asking her for forgiveness.

And so on a mild Thursday evening, when Tonks heard a dull knocking on her door, she gave a groan of annoyance. _Surely not Harry again,_ she thought as she rose from her seat and crossed the room. Tonks wrenched open the heavy, wooden door.

"Harry, for the last ti–" She stopped abruptly. Stood in front of her was Charlie Weasley. He wore a timid smile and stood almost apologetically as he waited for a response. Tonks considered closing the door and opening it again, just to make sure she had done it right. She decided against it, however, knowing that Charlie would probably not appreciate having a door slammed in his face. She realised that she was still stood agape in the doorway, and so attempted to speak.

"Charlie…" It was a start.

"Can I come in?" he asked and she nodded vacantly, standing aside. As he walked passed her she glanced him over. Had he gotten taller? He seemed different to her and it made her realise how long he had been away. His hair was still trademark red; his eyes still a dark hazel. But to Tonks, Charlie seemed different, as if he had changed completely in the space of a few months. _He's still cute though_, a tiny voice chirped in the back of her mind. Tonks swallowed hard as she closed the door behind Charlie.

"What are you…" Tonks stuttered, wishing that she wasn't having trouble in finishing her sentences.

"I was just visiting Mum and Dad," he explained, guessing her question. "So I thought I'd pop in and say hi. I know I'd be a bit peeved if I'd heard you had been passing through Romania and not even said hello."

"Charlie –"

"So here I am," he gave a nervous laugh. "And here you are…looking more beautiful than you were when I left. I didn't think that was possible. I don't know how you do this to me."

"Charlie –"

"Please stop saying my name like that." Tonks frowned slightly.

"Like what?"

"Like you pity the fool," he admitted quietly. "I screwed up Dora. We both did. You have no idea how much I think about you. I wonder what it would be like if I hadn't turned around and walked out that door. It would be so different, Dora, it really would."

"I know," Tonks whispered, giving him a sad smile. A part of her wished that he wasn't there in front of her telling her all of this, a tiny part anyway. Another part, she had to admit, was still very much in love with him and it scared her.

"Maybe I shouldn't have come. I just…I wanted to see you. And now I have I want to ask you something."

"Charlie –"

"I know I've been an idiot, but I have to ask. If I don't I'll spend the rest of my life wondering what you would have said…Will you come to Romania to be with me?" Tonks swallowed hard at his question. Her first thought was to shout yes and hold him so tightly that he would have to carry her to Romania, himself. But then she thought of Remus, and the baby, and her eyes fell to the floor.

"I would love to Charlie, I really would, but I can't," she said to the floor.

"Why not?" Charlie didn't really seem crestfallen in Tonks' opinion.

"It's just…I have things going on…it wouldn't be right, I'm sorry."

"All the more reason for you to come with me. You can get away from all of this, Dora. You can be happy, we can be happy."

"Charlie, you don't under–"

"I know about the baby." His sudden words made Tonks' mouth drop. "I know about the baby," he repeated, though she didn't need it.

"How?" she managed to croak.

"You know my mum, she likes to talk." He gave a ghost of a smile, which faded as quickly as it came. "Maybe it was for the best, now you don't have to break the news to me yourself."

Tonks didn't find comfort in these words, and lowered herself slowly to her bed. Charlie joined her. When she didn't speak he gave a nervous laugh.

"What? Did you think I wouldn't find out?"

"No, no of course I did. I just…I guess I wasn't prepared for this," she stammered.

"_You_ weren't prepared?" Charlie exclaimed, raising his voice in annoyance and then regretting it. "None of it matters anyway," he said firmly and Tonks frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't you see? I still want you to be with you. I still want you to come to Romania with me. We can still make this work, Dora."

"But the baby–"

"We'll raise it together! I would do that for you Dora, I would." Charlie rambled desperately, jumping up from the bed and pacing before Tonks as she listened amazingly to what he was saying.

"What about Rem–"

"Forget Remus!" Charlie said angrily, stopping in his tracks to face her.

"Charlie!" she shouted back, in frustration. "Listen to what you're saying for one minute." Charlie lowered his eyes to the floor and took a deep breath in. When he looked back at her, his eyes were filled with such a heart-breaking need that it almost worried her.

"Does he love you, Dora?" he asked quietly. Tonks just blinked in response. Charlie gave a bitter laugh. "I didn't think so. And yet you choose to stay with him!"

"He does love me, Charlie," Tonks' voice was also barely audible. "Maybe not in the same way you do, but he does. And I need him…now more than ever. Just like this child needs me." She placed her hand over her stomach gently. "And I'm so sorry you have got caught up in this, I really am." He nodded, knowing that she truly meant it. "I…I love you, Charlie."

"I didn't need to hear that," he muttered to the floor.

"Well I'm telling you anyway," she said firmly, rising from her bed and taking his hand. He enveloped her into a passionate embrace, breathing in every bit of her, and hearing her sniff into his chest.

"It's a full moon tonight," he supplied almost casually into the top of her head.

"I know," came the muffled response.

"And you'll be alone tonight when he should be with you." Tonks prised her head off his chest to look at him squarely.

"Charlie, please don't." He pulled her closer once more, rubbing her back gently. They stood like this for what felt like a lifetime, and Tonks wished she didn't have to let go.

"Will you stay with me tonight?" she found herself asking without even meaning to. Charlie faltered and Tonks felt her cheeks flame with embarrassment. "I…I don't mean…I just want…will you just stay? Please?" He nodded slightly.

Charlie watched her as she slept, the pale moonlight landing on her from her window. He stroked her natural dark hair, thinking of how the moon would play such a significant part in her life from now on. _She will still find it beautiful_, he thought. Morning approached, much to Charlie's disappointment. He knew that this would be the last time he ever held Nymphadora Tonks in his arms as she slept, and a part of him knew too that he only had himself to blame. As Tonks woke, Charlie was putting on his dragon-hide jacket. He offered her a sad, almost regretful smile, and leant over to kiss her on the forehead…but he did not speak. He didn't know what to say. As he reached the door, Tonks spoke up.

"Don't tell him about this." Charlie nodded in understanding.

"I won't," he said quietly. "Goodbye Nymphadora." That was all he said, all he could say. He left without a second glance knowing that, in the end, she had done what she had to do.


	33. The deal

A/N: I have to admit, I was getting kinda bored of this story. I have so many ideas for it, but I'm rushing to get it finished in time for HBP and I'm spoiling it. But then I read through my reviews and it inspired me to continue. I just thought I'd let you all know how much I appreciate them, especially the recent one from Mucada. Thank you so much, you've given me determination to continue.

Disclaimer: Haven't done one for a while. Harry Potter and co are still not mine.

_Sirius Black was humming under his breath. Forget that, it wasn't humming it was noise! He was sat in the grimy kitchen of Grimmauld Place, wishing he were outside in the light breeze of the summer evening. Instead he was stuck indoors, bored out of his wits and wondering why he'd even bothered to escape from Azkaban in the first place. Sure, his heart had been lifted immensely at the thought of his Godson, Harry Potter, arriving later in the week. He only wished he didn't feel so fed up. Sirius had taken it upon himself to annoy everyone and anyone who happened to drop by at Headquarters at any given time. Unfortunately, this evening it was his best friend Remus Lupin and his cousin Nymphadora Tonks. Remus, who had spent many years sharing a dorm with Sirius, knew how to ignore the man's pleas for attention. However Tonks, who had only just been reunited with her cousin a fortnight ago, was finding it extremely difficult._

"_Sirius," she said through gritted teeth, "would you cut that out?"_

"_Cut what out?" her cousin said with a grin._

"_The humming!"_

"_What humming?" Tonks gave a growl of annoyance and continued with the report she was writing. Sirius grabbed a spare piece of parchment and began to tear it into strips, noisily. _

"_For the love of Merlin! Pack it in!"_

"_I'm bored," Sirius whined. Remus glanced over at his friend, then lowered his eyes before his friend had chance to realise that he had gained his attention also. "Want to play a game?"_

"_Sirius," Tonks warned impatiently._

"_Fine!" the man said, defeated. After a pause he began to roll up the strips of parchment and threw them at Tonks' vibrant spikes. She squealed and grabbed parchment for herself, throwing it at her cousin and missing, much to the man's amusement. Tonks rose from her seat and circled the table to get nearer to her target. Sirius laughed._

"_Hey that's cheating!" He grabbed her wrists and she shrieked a laugh._

"_Do you mind?" Remus asked into his book, clearly unimpressed._

"_Sorry," the pair mumbled together, grinning. Then Tonks gave Sirius a sharp slap around the back of his head._

"_Right that's it." He got up and chased her around the table._

"_I'm sorry, ok? I'm sorry," she panted as he gained on her. Sirius tackled the young witch to the floor and she howled a laugh. He tickled her and she shrieked again._

"_Stop it please, I'm going to wet myself!" Sirius thought that would be even more amusing and continued. "You don't scare me!" she challenged him and he grabbed her in a headlock. "Ok, you're terrifying! Let me go!"_

"_Never! I've killed once and I'll kill again."_

"_That's not funny Sirius," she managed to squeak as his grip tightened._

"_She's right Sirius, that isn't funny," Remus chided. Sirius looked up at his friend and offered him an apologetic grin. "Now get off Nymphadora, would you? I don't think she can breathe." Sirius did as he was told, and loosened his grip. Tonks kicked him in the shin and he winced. She managed to over power him and sat on his stomach._

"_Ha, I win!" Sirius tried to pull her off but she pinned him down. _

"_Is this legal?" he joked and she crinkled her nose. "Get off me."_

"_No."_

"_Get off me!"_

"_No!" At this Sirius turned his head and managed to bite one of her hands close by. She screamed and then spat at him._

"_Euw that's disgusting!" he cried, wriggling to free his hands so he could wipe his face. "You play dirty, Nymphadora Tonks!"_

"_Well you bit me! I think you drew blood!"_

"_Not my first time," he said with a wink and she laughed. Remus was watching them from the other side of the kitchen. He gave a sad smile._

"_You know what T-Bird? I'm enjoying this. In fact I'm enjoying this a little too much." She scrambled off him in disgust. Sirius barked a laugh. "I win! Every time!" Tonks scowled at him._

"_Git!"_

"_Loser."_

"_Layabout."_

"_Freak." Tonks gave an indignant gasp._

"_Criminal."_

"_Black!" Tonks' eyes widened as she gasped again._

"_No way! You take that back." Sirius shook his head with a grin._

_"Can't take the truth Dora?" _

_"I'm not a Black!" she insisted._

_"If you say so…Black."_

* * *

He watched her from across the street, her dark blue hair tied up in a bun, a fringe almost covering her lime green eyes. Nymphadora Tonks stood out. Of course she did, she always had done, but it wasn't the vibrant colours or the unique clothes she chose. It was her very being. He had noticed it from the first day he had met her, that hot summer day in Hogsmeade when she was only seven years old. Seeing her there, her girly grin and bright eyes, he still could not deny it; she was a Black at heart. And now, all these years later, her looks may have changed but she was still the same; strong and capable.

He followed her down the streets, watching her lick her lips as the wind picked up. She carried with her a small, empty cardboard box, which hung lazily out of one hand by her side. She stopped as she reached the building. Her old home. Looking either side of her she retrieved her keys from her pocket and unlocked the door. Climbing the many flights of stairs she eventually arrived at her flat. It had been unlived in for some time now. Tonks had been clearing out her things over the past week, feeling saddened at the thought of never living there again. The apartment door swung open to reveal emptiness. Tonks walked in, smiling at the familiar creaks of certain floorboards. She crossed to the kitchen and placed the empty box down, laying her thin jacket beside it. There were very few things left in the apartment, most of which were photo frames and the odd trinket or two. Tonks decided to head to the bedroom, though without a bed in it any longer, she supposed it was just a room. Having taken one final glance around her old room she noticed only one thing remained; a photo of Sirius and herself, taken when she was rather young one summer's day. Tonks wondered how she had managed to leave the item last. She left the bedroom, smiling at the photo then shaking it flimsily in one hand. A creak made her glance up. The front door was ajar. Positive that she had not left it open, a jolt of fear crept into the pit of her stomach. She felt her pockets and realised her wand wasn't on her. Where is it? My jacket, damn. Moody would be having a fit! She crossed quickly to the kitchen and was half way to her destination when a voice made her stop dead in her tracks.

"Hello, Dora." Tonks spun around to see a squat, balding man. He was dressed scruffily and his skin was grey and sallow, suggesting he had seen better days. She knew he had, for she recognised him immediately.

"What do you want, Peter?" she asked quickly. Peter Pettigrew stepped forward from the open door.

"What? No pleasantries? It's been a long time Nymphadora. Seventeen years if I'm not mistaken?"

"What do you want?" Tonks asked again, trying hard to stop her voice quivering with fear. She took another step towards the kitchen work surface. Perhaps if she moved quickly enough she could grab her wand and stun him.

"Just to talk, that's all." To talk; the same thing Tonks had told her aunt moments before she killed her. The witch swallowed.

"I'm supposed to believe that am I? Get out of here, Pettigrew," she snapped bitterly. He raised his wand stopping her as she began another step closer to her jacket.

"Come here." Tonks hesitated. Pettigrew asked again and Tonks knew to obey, walking slowly towards the man. She trembled with a fear that she resented. She wasn't afraid for herself, she was afraid for her baby. Does he know? she thought as she reached him.

"How did you know I was here?" she demanded.

"I know a lot about you Nymphadora," How much? "I've been watching you for some time now. Padfoot's memorial, I was there. That cold barn on Oakdene Farm, North Egerton, I was there." Tonks' insides squirmed uncomfortably. "The yard in Grimmauld Place, I was there too Dora." Tonks hadn't thought her stomach could have plunged any lower until he said this. She winced internally. He knows where Headquarters is! "Oh yes, I know your little hide-out. It's securely clamped down though, but that doesn't stop me trying." Tonks gave a little whimper.

"Peter listen…"

"No Dora, you'll be doing the listening. I've come to you with a message…from the Dark Lord himself." Tonks couldn't believe what she was hearing. Her mouth hung open in disbelief. Peter continued. "He's heard all about you. How you murdered Bellatrix Lestrange." Tonks gave a quiet gasp. "Yes I was rather surprised myself, you were always such a sweet girl. But I suppose it's in your blood isn't it. Black blood will out." Pettigrew raised his wand under Tonks' chin. Her eyes filled with tears she desperately hoped wouldn't fall.

"Please Peter –"

"I could kill you where you stand. But where's the fun in that? You've taken the life of our Lord's right hand Servant. It's only fair that he takes yours." Tonks let out a little sob. "And that's why he's sent me. We are going to do a deal, Dora. Bellatrix's life for yours. Come and join us."

"What?"

"Nymphadora…" It angered her that he called her that; only Remus was allowed to call her Nymphadora. "You're on the wrong side of this war, the losing side." It wasn't the first time Tonks had heard these words, she remembered her Aunt Narcissa saying a similar thing to her the previous year. All Tonks could do was shake her head. "Fine, I can drag you kicking and screaming. Or would you prefer the control of the Imperius Curse? Either way, you owe us." Tonks took a step back.

"No. No way! This is insane Peter! I'll never join you! Bella… Voldemort hated her. She was in exile," Tonks rambled, trying to make sense of the situation before her. Pettigrew's eyes had widened angrily as Tonks had used his Master's name.

"You're as stupid as she was if you believe that!" he spat at her. "Lestrange was consumed by her own guilt and failure. The Dark Lord did not send her to exile, she sent herself."

"And I'm supposed to believe that, am I?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because he loved her!" Peter's words rang around the empty apartment. Tonks felt sick and she thought she was going to faint. She squeezed her eyes shut to quell the dizziness. "Needless to say he's not your biggest fan," Pettigrew concluded. Silence fell between them.

"So what now?" Tonks asked quietly. "Are you going to kill me? I'd rather die than join you and your heartless Death Eaters! Go on, do it Peter! I know you're capable. Make your precious Lord happy and finish me off!" she cried.

"No, you are to come with me." Tonks shook her head.

"Nuh huh, no way." Peter straightened his back almost indignantly, before slumping his shoulders over in what appeared to be defeat.

"Fine, have it your way…for now. But we'll have you on our side Dora, one way or another. We'll come for you in Hogwarts if we have to. Do you really want that? Could you really stand the deaths of your students on your conscience? The death of your beloved Harry Potter?"

"You're bluffing!" Tonks blurted out desperately. "Hogwarts has immense security. There's no way you'd be able to breach it." She prayed that her words were true. Peter only raised his greying eyebrows in mild amusement.

"Well, if you're willing to take that risk Dora." She braced as he began to move, only to be relieved as he headed for the door. "Think it over, but not for too long. Either way, we'll come for you." He reached the door and turned to her casually. "Give my regards to Remus won't you." As he closed the door behind him, Tonks fell to her knees and sobbed.

* * *

Tonks dragged her feet as she entered Grimmauld Place. She was still shaken up and flinched at every noise around her. She carried the half-full cardboard box easily, though her arms felt like lead. Tonks was glad the box was light; Remus chided her whenever she carried heavy things. She cringed thinking of Remus. What was she going to tell him? Did she have to tell him at all? No, she decided, he doesn't need this. Tonks entered the kitchen with mock confidence. Remus looked up at her as she entered and gave her a smile, which faded as he saw something he must have read in her eyes. She cursed, wishing Remus couldn't always read her like a book.

"Wotcher," Tonks said as chirpily as she could, and place the box on the table. She headed for the sink and got herself a glass of water, which she drank quickly. Her hand shook as she lowered the empty glass to the side.

"Are you ok, Dora?" Remus voiced his concern. She turned to him and smiled quickly.

"Of course I am, just tired that's all. Don't worry." Her voice wavered as her eyes met him. Guilt filled her but she stood her ground.

"You sure? You're looking a bit pale."

"I'm fine!" she insisted quickly.

"Ok," Remus said quietly and let it drop. He glanced in the box beside him, seeing the photo of Tonks and Sirius. It was dog-eared at the edges, as if Tonks had been handling it too much.

"Get everything?"

"Yes, that's the last," Tonks told him, running a hand across her forehead as she saw the picture. When Remus continued to look at the photo, Tonks grew so uncomfortable that she snatched it off him and threw back in the box. If Remus was shocked he didn't show it.

"Hermione's feeling better," he mumbled to the table. Tonks' annoyance faded.

"Oh, that's good."

"Yes, she says she's ready to go back to school at the weekend."

"We'll see." Silence fell between them. It made Tonks want to scream.

"Remus, I'm sorry," she said and meant it.

"I know," he replied quietly but didn't look at her.

"I'm a hormonal wreck, you know?" She gave a nervous laugh. He looked up at her and smiled.

"I know you are. Why don't you go upstairs and have a lie down." Tonks shook her head.

"No, I'm ok. I'll stay here with you. You'll look after me, won't you?" Remus nodded, not really understanding why she'd asked. Tonks took a seat beside him and rested her head against his shoulder. She closed her eyes and took a shuddering breath. Remus kissed her on the top of her head and silence fell once more.

"Remus…?"

"Yes."

"Nothing, it doesn't matter." Tonks lied. He doesn't need to know, she told herself. Then why did she have an awful feeling at the pit of her stomach? No, he would be better off not knowing and she would protect him from the truth. She only wished she knew who would protect her.


	34. A noise in the night

A/N: This chapter was meant to be scary but when reading it through I was laughing. That's Tonks for ya!

Grimmauld Place was eerily dark at night; it was in the day but even more so when the sun went down. Tonks lay alone on her bed, fully dressed, and knowing that she would regret it the next day. The clock had struck midnight a long time ago, but Tonks could not sleep at all. She listened to the silence, if that was possible, and cleared her mind of anything that would remotely bother her (there were many things!). Deciding that she should at least try to sleep, she began to roll over and planned to close her eyes and sleep in her clothes. However, a faint noise stopped her mid-roll. Tonks paused before rolling onto her back and frowning in the dark. Had she really heard something? Was it just her imagination, her bed sheets rubbing together? No, there had definitely been something, and it was coming from somewhere in the house. As Tonks considered the possibilities of what it could be, the noise came again, still faint but louder this time. It sounded like scratching on wood. Tonks sat up and grabbed 'her' navy hoodie from off her chair. She pulled it on, thankful for its warmth as she realised she was shivering. It had been quite useful recently Tonks had to admit, as she was now beginning to show, only slightly but she was paranoid about it nonetheless. Tonks opened her bedroom door incredibly slowly, so as not to make the handle squeak and wake Remus across the hall. Tonks paused once outside her room. She realised she was holding her breath and took a quick breath out. The noise came again and Tonks squinted, as if it would help to hear in the dark. Was it Buckbeak? Perhaps the Hippogriff was hungry. But the noise was coming from down stairs. _Maybe Hermione or Remus can't sleep either_, Tonks pondered. _Well you're never gonna find out standing here in the dark like a lemon! _

Tonks shuffled down the hallway and tiptoed down the stairs, wincing with every creaking floorboard and cursing silently as she stubbed a toe. As she reached the entrance hall to the manor house, Tonks had decided that the noise was coming from the kitchen, though she was still unsure of what was causing it. Ignoring the light snores of Mrs Black, Tonks held her breath again to listen intently. It was definitely a scratching of some kind. It was unrhythmical, almost a scurrying noise like nails or claws. Tonks froze as she thought of this. _Like a rodent…No it can't be, can it?_ Tonks' breath burnt in her chest but she refused to make a sound as she made her way to the kitchen stairs, avoiding the umbrella stand, which was a miracle in the dark she had to admit! Tonks trod carefully down the stairs, listening to the sound get louder and louder as she approached. However, it was becoming difficult to hear it over the beating of her terrified heart. Tonks stood on the bottom step, unsure of what to do. Was she over reacting? This was an old house; it was bound to have rats in its foundations. Tonks tried to convince herself that she was being silly but fear got the better of her. She had to see what it was, to know that she was wrong, to put her mind at rest. Tonks left the bottom step in order to find the exact location as to where the noise was coming from. As she did so, the kitchen floor creaked under her weight, causing the scratching to stop.

"No," Tonks whispered to herself. She stayed incredibly still, half praying that the noise would start up again. It did, and Tonks found herself trembling once more as she headed for the far left corner of the kitchen, past the fireplace, to where the noise was loudest. Once there she crouched low to the floor, rocking slightly and mumbling quietly to herself.

"Peter, go away, go away." A dull thud above her, from higher in the house made her jump. Most probably Buckbeak this time, she guessed, but she was on edge and afraid and it caused her to give an involuntary squeak of fear. The scampering stopped once more and Tonks gave a loud groan of frustration and exhaustion. She slammed her fists down on the dirty wooden floor, heavily.

"Stop doing this to me, stop it!" she cried, putting one ear to the floor and banging again as she heard nothing. Tonks was tired now, she wanted to go back up to bed and forget she had ever heard anything. She wanted to believe that it was just some small rodent, obliviously scaring her senseless. But she couldn't. She had to know. Grabbing an iron poker from the fireplace, Tonks delved it in between two floorboards with an angry grunt. A faint squeaking could be heard from below her and she used the poker as a crow bar, attempting to prise up the flooring. The squeaking and scratching came again, almost as if to taunt her as she struggled.

"Come on you bastard," she huffed. "Don't think I can't hear you." The wood board cracked under pressure and Tonks pulled it up with her hands, leaving a fair sized hole and causing a great deal of dust. She gave a cough and rubbed her forehead wearily. Tonks could not see a thing as she peered into the gap. Even as she lit her wand, she could only see faint shadows of below and it had seemed that the noise had stopped. Tonks let the iron poker drop to her side with a clank and stifled a sob. Did she really need this right now? She didn't think so! As she began to get up off the floor, she heard the noise again, further across the room.

"Urrh!" Tonks growled in frustration. "You have got to be kidding me!" She scuttled across the floor on her knees pushing the kitchen chairs out of the way as she did so. They fell to their sides one by one, like dominoes. Tonks then heaved the table to one side. It tipped and landed on the upturned chairs leaving a clear space for Tonks. She went at the floorboards again, this time more aggressively.

"Why can't you just leave me alone?" she hissed. "Think you can come in here and hurt my family in the night? That's just like you Peter you spinelessness jerk!" Having made a small gap, she pulled up several boards eventually joining her first smaller hole with the newer one to create a rather large gap in her kitchen floor. Tonks didn't care at all.

"Lumos," she mumbled angrily to her wand again, and stuck her head in the gap, taking a good look around. Again she saw nothing. The dust tickled her throat and scratched her eyes. But Tonks would not give up. She continued to pull at the wooden boards, splintering them and cutting hands. She didn't even seem to notice the pain; she was so intent on finding him, it, whatever or whoever it was that was frightening her so intently.

"Come on Pettigrew!" she shouted now. "You're in, you've done it! Now let's get this over and done with so I can go back to bed." No response, not even a scrape or a squeal. Tears of frustration began to roll down Tonks' grubby cheeks. She was so frightened by her over-zealous imagination that she was beginning to believe anything. Looking around her at the mess she'd made, Tonks couldn't help but feel that she had slightly over-reacted. This caused her to sob even more at her own stupidity. Just then, a noise at the top of the stairs caused Tonks to jump once more. She let out a little yelp then a gasp of relief as she saw it was only Hermione, shuffling down the stairs in her slippers and rubbing the sleep from her eyes. The girl wore an expression of confusion as she surveyed the scene before her; Tonks sat by a crater in the kitchen floor, surrounded by piles of jagged floor boards, her hands bleeding, her face filthy and dust hovering in a cloud above her.

"What's going on?" Hermione asked, not really knowing where else to start.

"Nothing Hermione, go back to bed," Tonks said matter-of-factly, rubbing her stinging hands.

"Tonks what the hell happened here?" Hermione's voice was stronger as she reached the kitchen and saw the full extent of the damage. "It's gone 3am and…you've destroyed the kitchen!" she pointed out shrilly. Tonks gave a little hiccough and looked around her, only really noticing how bad it actually looked. She began to open her mouth when the aggravating scuttling started up again. Hermione rolled her eyes slowly as she listened to the noise.

"You hear it don't you?" Tonks asked her desperately. "I'm not crazy! Tell me I'm not going crazy!" She threw her arms around the girl's legs, almost making her lose her balance and fall into the newly made pit.

"Err, you're not crazy?" Hermione supplied timidly. As the noise continued, Tonks dragged herself up off the floor and circled the overturned furniture for its origin. "Tonks…Tonks stop, this is ridiculous. What are you doing? It's just…it's just a rodent. It's just a rat Tonks," Hermione pressed as her teacher passed her for another lap of the table. Tonks froze mid-step and spun on her heels.

"Exactly!" she cried hysterically, her eyes wide with panic. Hermione frowned.

"Tonks, I don't underst–" but the girl stopped as the significance of the creature came to mind. She shook her head slowly.

"This is crazy Tonks. You're right you are crazy!" Tonks had returned the iron poker to her sore hands and continued to creep around the kitchen. "You can't be serious." Hermione laughed nervously.

"I am serious. _This_ is serious. Now I want you to go back to your room and stay there," Tonks commanded, gesturing up the stairs with the poker. Hermione shook her head.

"Upstairs Hermione, now!"

"What is going on in here?" came another voice, making Tonks jump yet again and causing her to cry out in anguish. Remus came down the stairs slowly, looking incredibly baffled at the two witches and rather alarmed at the fact that Tonks was raising a fire-poker over Hermione's head. The elder dropped it in alarm. Remus, too, was fully dressed implying that Tonks was not the only one unable to sleep that night.

"What's going on?" he asked again, in a voice much calmer than expected.

"Nothing," both witches mumbled. Remus gave a sceptical look. Hermione began to cough from the dust in the air, and stepped over an overturned chair to get a glass of water, leaving Tonks to explain by herself.

"I can explain…well I can't explain. You're just gonna have to trust me, it's nothing." She offered the man a nervous smile. He took her hands and realised that she was trembling. Concerned, he picked a chair up from the floor and indicated for Tonks to sit.

She took a few deep breaths, tasting dust, and realised he was staring at her expectantly.

"I'm sorry," was all she could think of to say.

"What's going on?" he asked for a final time, his voice barely audible. Tonks swallowed knowing she had to give in.

"Peter," she said. _Peter? Of all the things you could have opened with u chose that! _Remus' brow furrowed in confusion. "I…I saw Peter today." She shuffled uncomfortably in her chair. "Or rather…he saw me."

"Where?" Remus breathed.

"At my flat…it's ok," she insisted as Remus looked alarmed, "he didn't hurt me–"

"But he tried to?" Tonks could only nod. Remus was breathing heavily. He paced around the kitchen (well, as best he could) and tried to take in what his best friend was telling him.

"Why didn't you come and get me?" he asked heatedly. Tonks closed her eyes, feeling a confrontation beginning.

"It all happened so fast," she tried to reason. She wished Remus would stay still.

"I can't believe you lied to me…again Dora," he said under his breath. "I knew something was wrong earlier, why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't lie to you!" Tonks protested, rising from her chair. "I just…omitted certain truths," she finished lamely.

"Omitted certain truths?" Remus gave a little laugh. "Always about the unimportant things eh?" he snapped sarcastically. Tonks took a step back.

"Can we not do this right now?" she mumbled, feeling Hermione's gaze volley between her two adult friends.

"Hermione go to bed!" Remus ordered sharply.

"Don't talk to her like that!" Tonks shouted too. "You're angry at me, Remus. Leave her out of this." Hermione just stood there, feeling rather foolish in her fluffy slippers. The kitchen fell silent again and Remus could here a gentle scratching on wood. His eyes snapped to Tonks who was looking at the floor.

"What? You thought that was him?"

"I…I don't know what I thought," Tonks muttered. Remus gave a sigh.

"Nymphadora," his tone was suddenly gentle. "This house…you should have known. This house is protected well…Dumbledore put the Fidelius Charm on it to disguise it. He's Secret Keeper for Merlin's Sake!"

"I know, I'm just scared," Tonks sniffled and Remus put his arms around her, kissing the top of her head.

"What did he say to you?" Remus asked quietly. Tonks simply shook her head, burying her face into her friend's chest.

"They're going to take me away from you. He said You-Know-Who, he… he…" she couldn't go on. Remus shushed her, rocking her slightly as she began to tremble once more.

"It's ok Dora, no-one's going to take you from me. Either of you," he placed a hand on her warm abdomen. "I won't let him. I won't let him hurt anybody else that I love. He's been doing that for far too long." Remus felt a familiar anger build up in him, but he would not act on it now.

"Well…" a small voice spoke up from the corner. They both turned to see Hermione looking uncomfortably at her hands. "Well…I'd best be off to bed now. Yes, I think that's best." She scuttled past the couple. "Good night. I'll help you with this mess in the morning Tonks."

"Thanks Minnie," Tonks called, a ghost of a smile traced her lips. The girl disappeared, leaving the pair in silence. Tonks ran a hand over her dirty face.

"You must think I'm such a fool," she sighed. Remus gave a little chuckle and drew her closer.

"Well, yes but a cute fool. Endearing in fact." Tonks smiled at his words, wishing that she could stay in the protection of his arms forever.

"I'm scared, Remus. I'm so frightened. I want to believe that you'll always be there for me; I know you want to be too, but I know that it's hoping for too much."

"I know," Remus nodded in understanding. They stood there for a long moment, Tonks feeling his chest move gently. She could feel his eyes on her, studying her intently. She licked her lips slightly.

"You know…on this spot, all those months ago…you kissed me." A seductive smile lit up her face. Remus blinked in mock-confusion.

"In all truth, if you recall correctly Nymphadora, you did in fact kiss me first." She gave a little chuckle. Remus smiled, he loved to see her happy. He took a piece of her dark hair and brushed it away from her face lightly with a finger. Was she trembling? He swallowed hard.

"Remind me," he heard her whisper. Remus didn't need telling twice. He cupped her face gently in her hands and kissed her deeply. She let out a small, involuntary groan and wrapped her arms around her friend's waste, pulling him closer. Remus felt the small bump between their bodies and smiled as their lips parted.

"You're so good at that," she purred. _I love him_, she thought then shook her head to clear it of such an absurd notion.

"Why thank you," he played. The mother of his child was so beautiful. How had he gotten so lucky? _I love her,_ he thought. The words almost escaped from his lips and it scared him. Did he really feel that way? Or had he just gotten caught up in the moment? In a way of preventing an unwanted confession from slipping out, his lips found hers again, this time for longer. Nymphadora did not seem to mind in the slightest. No, for now they would be content with their moderate affections and their playful banter. For now, that would be enough.


	35. An attack

A/N: Hello all, sorry it's been a while but I have very nearly finished this story (only two more chapters to write!) I've written the end, it hurt me to do but it's done. After this chapter there are approx. 10 more to come, certainly no more! Now might also be time to tell you that this is going to be a trilogy. I always planned on writing a sequel, (and it will beway shorter than this!) but the idea for the third installment came to me as I wrote some of the final chapters. I can't say how long it will be, as it is still in the planning process.  
As for this chapter, well it was originally planned to be set in the MOM, from Kingsley's POV. However, it was too close to 9/11 for my liking, and missed out all the details that I've now added to this rewrite, so I decided against it. Plus, I'm not so good at writing Kingsley, dunno why that is, I just don't seem to be able to put him across as well as he could be. Just a random bit of back-story for ye.  
Anyway, enough babbling.Thanks for your constant support and hope you enjoy :)

* * *

Remus sat alone in the cool kitchen of Grimmauld Place, sipping at his lukewarm tea, and reading the Daily Prophet. Things had been rather quiet for the past few months, but instead of settling him, it made him uneasier. It was a sure sign of things to come. He lowered the paper with a sigh and rose to discard his beverage down the sink. Sitting back down he gave another sigh. Remus liked silence, but he had to admit that he was rather lonely. As if on cue, he heard the front door open then close, and a voice called from the top of the kitchen stairs.

"Good morning, Lupin." It was Hestia Jones, her black hair plaited neatly and her usual pink cheeks even rosier as she struggled to carry a wad of books and parchment. Remus crossed to give her a hand, taking the pile from her and placing them on the wooden table with a dull thud. She smiled at him appreciatively.

"Is Kingsley about?" she asked, taking a seat opposite him. Remus shook his head.

"No, I think he's a work. Why do you ask?"

"Oh, I was supposed to meet with him. He'll show up." The pair sat in an uncomfortable silence for a brief moment.

"So," Hestia spoke up. "How's Tonks doing?"

"Good, good," he replied and the woman nodded.

"When's she due?" she enquired.

"September 19th."

"Ahh, not long now then," Hestia said with a smile. Remus had to disagree, thinking that five months was a rather long time.

"I'll be pleased when the mood-swings are over, I'll admit that." Hestia gave a little laugh at the man's honesty. "I made her a hot chocolate the other day and she began to cry because there weren't enough lumps in it. Honestly! So she made me make her another one with lumps in. Women!" he sighed shaking his head. "There's never any pleasing them. No offence."

"None taken," Hestia replied. "And what with Harry in your care now, and Hermione Granger living here, this house will soon be full."

"Yes, and I'll be wishing for a moment of peace and quiet like this."

As soon as he'd finished speaking a cool, prim but rather loud female voice filled the room from an unknown source.

"THIS IS AN IMPORTANT NOTICE FROM THE MINISTRY OF MAGIC," the voice rang out. "THE MINISTRY IS UNDER ATTACK. WE REQUEST THAT ALL CITIZENS STAY CALM AND REMAIN IN THEIR HOMES. THANK YOU. THIS IS AN IMPORTANT…" the voice began to repeat its message. Hestia gave a worried glance at Remus.

"What's going on?" came Hermione's frightened voice as the girl skipped down the steps.

"We don't know," Remus and Hestia said together.

"Did you hear that?" she called over the loud message as it began to repeat once more.

"Yes we did, Hermione. It's ok."

"It's not ok, she said there had been an attack!" the girl persisted.

"We must send word to Dumbledore," Hestia shouted.

"No doubt he already knows…Oh we get the picture! Is there any way to turn this thing off?" he grumbled in annoyance. "Quietus!" he shouted, and the woman's voice was immediately altered to a hoarse whisper. "Women," Remus mumbled again.

Hermione took an anxious seat next to her old professor as they waited for news.

"Alrigh' there, what's goin' on?" Mundungus Fletcher sauntered casually down the stairs. His tone was not that of concern, on the contrary he sounded merely curious.

"We don't know," the two witches and wizard mumbled as the scruffy man took a seat at the table.

"Somethin's goin' down at the Ministry. 'Bout bloody time those political snobs got what was comin' to 'em!" he said almost gleefully. Hestia scowled at him.

"Some of our friends are among them Dung!" she hissed.

"And they've been doing a good job keeping you out of Azkaban," Hermione pointed out dryly. The wizard gave a shrug and put his feet up on the table, lighting a cigarette. The front door gave a bang from above, causing Hermione and Hestia to jump. Mrs. Black began to shriek and was left to do so as a fretful Molly Weasley descended the stairs, followed by her twin sons and her eldest, Bill.

"What's going–"

"We don't know," came the chorused reply.

Though stricken with fear, Molly still managed to push Mundungus' feet off the table in an authoritative manner. The front door could be heard once more. Once again they expected Dumbledore, and once again they were wrong. Minerva McGonagall hurried urgently down the steps, followed by Snape and a worried Tonks.

"Minerva, what's happening?" Mrs Weasley asked as soon as the Professor's feet reached the kitchen floor. The teacher took a deep breath before addressing the group that had gathered.

"I'm afraid there has been some sort of explosion at the Ministry."

"An explosion?" Bill asked urgently but his mother silenced him with a raised hand. Professor McGonagall continued.

"I'm not entirely sure what is happening. Albus is there right now, of course. My guess is that it was a terrorist attack of sorts. A gas explosion, they're telling Muggle officials."

Gas explosion. Remus was immediately reminded of the night the Potter's died, Sirius was imprisoned and Pettigrew…he had killed the Muggles and faked his own death. Remus went white and turned to Tonks, who had also gone very pale. Her knees buckled underneath her. She fell and was caught by the quick reflexes of Bill, who stood next to her.

"Whoa, steady Tonks." Bill moved her to a chair and set her down slowly. He looked to Hermione, who was observing the scene in horror, and she quickly fetched a glass of water. It was placed in front of Tonks but she didn't touch it, she was trembling too much to do so. Bill rubbed her back slightly, and then looked across to Remus. The man was also shivering.

"What's going on?" Bill asked.

"It's him, I know it is. It's all my fault," Tonks was whispering. A look of confusion passed along the group.

"What is Tonks?" McGonagall asked in uncertainty. Her colleague gave a hiccough and opened her mouth to speak.

"Don't Tonks," this came from Lupin, much to everybody's surprise. Tonks raised her head to look at him, tears welling in her eyes.

"I have to Remus," she whispered, though everyone present could hear. "They have to know. It's my fault."

"Keep your mouth shut!" Remus insisted with a hiss. Tonks lowered her head in shame, giving a small sob to the table.

"Will somebody explain to me what is going on?" Molly Weasley exclaimed shrilly. Tonks remained silent, as did Remus. However, a small voice spoke up from the corner.

"Peter Pettigrew," Hermione announced timidly. All eyes fell on the girl, and Remus glared at her angrily. She looked to her feet in embarrassment. Tonks gave another sob as she heard the name.

"What do you mean, Miss Granger?" McGonagall asked her student, but it was Tonks who spoke up.

"Pettigrew came to me and told me that I was to join Volde… You-Know-Who, or that I'd pay a price. Don't you see, this is a message, a warning! I have to go, I have to be there." She rose shakily from her chair and wobbled slightly. Bill put out a hand to steady her.

"Don't be ridiculous Nymphadora," Molly snapped. "You can't go to the Ministry. Especially if what you are telling us is true." Tonks spun to her.

"I have to Molly, this is all my fault. I have to help them. Kingsley's in there, and Moody maybe, I don't even know–"

"And Arthur and Percy are in there too!" Molly shouted at her, silencing her. "You're worried, we all are. But blaming yourself and running off to get yourself killed isn't going to do anybody any good. So sit down and stop feeling sorry for yourself." The woman took a loud breath, her face pink. Tonks chewed at her nails and sat back down with a huff. Remus was watching her, she knew, but she refused to meet his gaze.

"Why didn't you tell anyone, Tonks?" Professor McGonagall asked quietly. Tonks gave a shrug.

"I told Remus," she mumbled into her fingers.

"And Miss Granger too it would seem," Snape spoke up dryly. "All the important people, I see."

Tonks glared at him. "Fuck you, Snape!"

The Order members sat in a nervous silence. Hestia Jones began to tap her fingers on the wooden table, much to everyone's annoyance. Tonks was watching Dung closely as he inhaled his cigarette deeply. The temptation was too much and she reached for his unguarded cigarette case.

"Hey!"

"Tonks, don't be stupid."

"What are you doing!"

Tonks didn't listen to any of their protests, she simply put the cigarette in between her lips and struggled with Dung's Muggle lighter. When it refused to ignite, she gave a growl of annoyance and cast it aside. The vagabond leant towards her and flicked the end of the cigarette lightly with his finger, causing it to light. The breathed her thanks and took a long drag. Remus was staring at her furiously. Tonks smirked at him, and blew out the smoke in his direction, almost mockingly.

"What on earth are you doing girl? Put that out immediately!" came a voice from the top of the stairs, causing Tonks to startle and drop the cigarette.

"Oh, shit!" she exclaimed, then spun around to see the owner of the voice. "Mad-Eye!" She sprung up in relief. "You're ok!"

"Of course I'm ok," he said with a hint of indignation. "Wasn't even in the building at the time. I've just spoken to Albus, Minerva. He's on his way." The man made his way down to the kitchen and gave Tonks a playful squeeze on her shoulder. He bent down to pick up her discarded cigarette and stubbed it out.

"By all means, kill yourself with these things. Be my guest, but not when you're carrying that little one, do you hear me?" he chided fatherly. Tonks nodded.

"Have you seen our dad?" Fred Weasley spoke up. Moody turned and blinked at him as if he had only just noticed the red haired boy was there.

"Yes lad, he's fine." Molly gave a cry of relief.

"And Percy? Alastor, you've seen Percy?" the mother asked anxiously.

"Ah, no I'm afraid not Molly. But not to worry, I'm sure he's fine." This did nothing to comfort Molly at all and she broke down into tears, rambling about her guilt for not making up with her estranged son. Bill and the twins comforted her.

"And Kingsley?" Tonks persisted. Moody hesitated.

"I've not seen him, Tonks." The woman bit her lip, and ran her hands over her face. She felt tot tears stinging her eyes. Kingsley Shacklebolt was like an older brother to her. He had always looked out for her, and even put his job on the line to protect her during the incident with Bellatrix Lestrange. And now she had endangered his life, possibly killed him. Tonks felt sick with worry. She threw herself back into her seat and held her head in her hands.

The group waited silently for Dumbledore to arrive. It felt as if they were collectively holding their breath. The Headmaster finally arrived at Grimmauld Place flanked, much to Tonks' relief, by Kingsley Shacklebolt and Arthur Weasley. The red-headed man moved to hold his emotional wife.

"It's ok Molly, it's ok," he soothed.

"What… about…Percy?" she stuttered through staggered breaths.

"I've seen him. He's fine, he's fine," her husband assured her. Fred and George exchanged looks of relief. As much as they thought Percy to be a git, they were thankful that their older brother was safe.

Tonks rose from her seat once more, and threw herself onto Kingsley, sobbing hysterically into his shoulder.

"I've missed you too Tonks," he joked, flashing Moody a glance of bewilderment.

"I thought you were dead," she wailed, hitting him rather hard on the chest. The man winced slightly.

"Well, I'm clearly not. Merlin, Tonks get a grip," he teased, ruffling her short hair affectionately. The Order members fell silent for Dumbledore.

"There have been many casualties," the Headmaster announced. "And many Ministry workers injured. St Mungo's is struggling to keep up with its admissions. Madam Pomfrey has opened the Medical Wing to treat those with minor injuries." He took a calming breath. "A team of Auror have investigated the floor in which this incident took place, interestingly the Department of Muggle Relations, and they have reason to believe that this was no accident." He paused, surveying his listeners. "Does anyone have anything they would like to tell me?" The old man's pale blue eyes fell on Tonks and she cringed inwardly. As she was about to confess all to her employer, Remus spoke up, shocking all.

"Yes Professor, we have reason to believe that Peter Pettigrew is behind this attack." The elder man studied his friend briefly.

"And what makes you suspect this, Remus?" he enquired. Tonks opened her mouth to speak once more, but was again beaten to it.

"Pettigrew approached Tonks and threatened her. When she didn't comply with his wishes, he made it very clear to her that she would pay. And, if I might add Professor, a 'gas explosions' such as this is nothing new to us." Lupin and Dumbledore locked glares importantly before the Headmaster nodded in understanding. He then turned to Tonks.

"Anything you wish to add, Tonks?" He raised his grey eyebrows questioningly. Tonks licked her lips.

"Well… yes. Peter…Pettigrew, he… he told me that if I didn't join the Death Eaters then Hogwarts would be in danger. He said that students would suffer, that Harry would suffer! I really don't want to believe him, but I don't think he was bluffing Professor…I think we should send the students home and close the school." A stunned silence followed. Dumbledore placed a hand on Tonks' shoulder, in an almost patronising fashion.

"My dear girl, do you not think that that would be following their orders? Do not allow Peter to mislead you. To send the students home would be foolish. Where better to protect them than Hogwarts? I assure you Tonks, they are perfectly safe." He smiled down at her, but this was of no reassurance to Tonks.

"But Professor, maybe you should think about higher security at least–" Tonks began but Dumbledore cut her off with a raised hand.

"Do not worry about the school Tonks, it's not good for you in you're condition." Tonks held back an infuriated response and gave a sigh of resignation. Dumbledore addressed the room.

"We will be on our guard, as usual. And we will be investigating into this attack. But for now, I think it's best for us to remain calm and clear our heads. Professor McGonagall, Professor Snape." His two teachers followed him to the steps. Turning to the remainder of the group he nodded curtly. "I will be in touch."

_That man is useless sometimes!_ Tonks thought in frustration, as the room dispersed. Hermione made her way quickly to her room, to avoid confrontation with Lupin. The Weasley's said their hurried goodbyes before returning to the Burrow.

Kingsley and Moody held back, and sensing the tension between Tonks and Lupin, they quickly decided to take their leave.

Kingsley passed Tonks on his way to the stairs.

"Whatever you believe, this wasn't your fault T," he whispered to her. She swallowed hard and tried to smile at him but failed. He took her hand briefly, gave it a reassuring squeeze, and then followed Moody silently up the stairs.

Remus rose from his seat and crossed to the sink, but for no apparent reason. He stared into the grimy water, watching it ripple as he placed his hands on the sideboard.

"Remus–" Tonks began hesitantly. The man didn't turn to face her.

"Go back to work, Tonks." His tone was harsh, but hearing him call her Tonks hurt her more than anything. Tonks closed her eyes wearily.

"I don't even know why you're mad at me," she pointed out quietly.

"I'm not mad–" he began with a snap, then took a deep breath to calm himself. "I'm not mad at you…I'm mad at him." Tonks frowned.

"Peter?" She saw her friend nod. Rising from her chair, she crossed over to the sink to be with him.

"I used to know him," Remus said quietly as he felt Tonks' arm snake around his waste. "I thought I knew him so well. But I'm constantly being reminded that I didn't know him at all. How could I have? … He was a good man Tonks." He looked down at her, her eyes watching him closely. She kissed him lightly on the cheek.

"I know," she whispered. Remus rested his head against Tonks' shoulder, the smell of smoke still lingered in her hair. He let a troubled sigh escape through his lips.

"He was a good man, and now…now I don't even know what he has become."


	36. Wormtail

A/N: This fic is now finished! There will be 45 chapters in total. I was going to put Tonks in this chapter, purely for the sake of putting her in. But she wasn't used well or needed so I cut her out. Don't be mad :D grins apologetically

It had been two weeks since the attack on the Ministry, and the hubbub of the Order was finally beginning to calm down. Hermione Granger had found it rather flattering that the Order members no longer asked her to leave the room when an urgent discussion took place. In fact, during a visit from Professor Snape, Hermione's heart had been lightened by Remus Lupin's words.

The girl had been sat in the corner of the kitchen, reading her Transfiguration book (for the fifth time that year,) when Snape had stopped mid-sentence and sneered at her.

"I was under the impression, Lupin," he drawled, "that this was the Order's Headquarters, not a crèche." Lupin had eyed him squarely.

"You are right of course, Severus. However this is also Hermione's home, so one could say she has more of a right to be here than you, don't you think?" Snape glared at the man, who smirked to himself then offered Hermione a wink. Hermione smiled gratefully, then hid her pinked cheeks behind her book.

And so, it came rather as a surprise when Remus had passed Hermione in the corridor one morning, carrying her jacket, with a bag slung over one shoulder. She had stopped and hesitated before speaking to him.

"Professor Lupin, are you doing anything today?" she had enquired timidly. Her former teacher had raised his hands casually, indicating that he was indeed free.

"What can I do for you, Hermione?"

"Well…I'd like to go back to school please." Remus blinked at her for a moment.

"Are you sure?" he had enquired doubtfully. The girl had nodded firmly. "Then I'll take you back to school Hermione, if that's what you really want."

The pair ate breakfast together, and prepared to leave for Hogwarts. Remus helped the girl carry her trunk down the flights of stairs. He turned to her, out of breath.

"Now, you're sure about this Hermione?" he breathed. "I don't want you to go back before you're ready."

"I am ready, Professor Lupin…besides, if I say no then you'd have to carry my trunk all the way back upstairs." She smiled at him playfully.

"Right," he panted. "Of course you're ready to return. Let's get going shall we."

The weather was fine, and the two made their way down the to the end of Grimmauld Place. Remus was reminded of the time he had escorted Harry back to school after the Christmas holidays. The weather had been so different then, bitterly cold. Hermione smiled as the sun shone on her, it had been a while since she had left her confinements of Number 12. They chatted lively about Hermione's approaching exams. Lupin had done his best to tutor her, for which she was very grateful. In fact, Hermione felt rather confident in her Defence Against the Dark Arts work, and was surprised at how much Lupin knew about Potions and Transfiguration also. A man of many talents, Hermione had decided.

Remus extended an arm reluctantly and the Knight Bus appeared in all its purpley glory. When the passengers were on board, they set off with a bang. Remus smiled as he remembered his conversation with Harry, the last time they had travelled on the bus together.

_You pretty much wanna bang Tonks against a wall. Oh don't start that again!_

Instead of continuing down that trail of thought, he turned to Hermione.

"Are you positive about this? We can always turn back, you know." Hermione looked at him, placing a timid hand on top of his.

"I know you're going to be lonely, Lupin. I'm sorry, but I have to go back sometime. Better now than never," she told him. He nodded, feeling selfish.

"You're right. I'm sorry Hermione."

"That's ok," she smiled, patting his hand gently before removing her own. Remus studied the girl beside him. She really did seem to have changed, grown stronger. And he couldn't deny that her mood had lightened a great deal in the recent weeks. Perhaps seeing her friends again would move her a step closer to closure.

"I've missed Harry," she was telling him. "And Ginny too. I guess I didn't realise how much they meant to me until we'd been apart. And my Crookshanks, I bet he's missed me."

"What about Ron?" Lupin asked mildly, trying his best to hide a smile as the girl looked startled.

"What? Oh, didn't I mention Ron? Well, I guess I've missed him too. You know Ron…" she trailed off, and turned to look out of the window as she felt her cheeks warm.

The Knight Bus dropped them off at the other side of Hogsmeade village, and they began to make their way to the main road. The trunk followed them noisily on the cobbled pavement and Remus worked an Accio spell.

Hermione saw Hogwarts in the distance and her heart lightened. She really was glad to be back. She felt Remus stiffen slightly beside her and frowned.

"What is it?" she asked in concern. He glanced around them hesitantly.

"What? Oh nothing. Let's keep moving now."

As they made there way down a side road that led to Hogwarts, a chilly wind picked up causing Hermione to shiver. She stopped to put on her jacket. Remus looked around them, and then back up the path. There, halfway between them and the castle gates stood a figure. The person was moving towards them. Remus braced himself then turned to his companion quickly.

"Hermione. Hermione stop that and listen to me. I want you to run back to the village. Go to the Three Broomsticks and wait for me there. Do you hear me, Hermione?" The girl wasn't looking at him however; her eyes were now fixed on the squat, middle-aged man who was getting closer to them. So close in fact that Hermione could see the man's greying skin and rat-like features. Those of Peter Pettigrew.

"No Lupin, no," she insisted firmly.

"Hermione, just do it!" Why was she arguing now? The girl stood her ground defiantly, and her hand went for her wand in her jeans pocket. Remus did the same and turn as his old school-friend approached them, his wand also out.

"Hello Remus," he said almost pleasantly. "You won't be needing those," he indicated to their wands with his own, but did not disarm them. "Miss Granger," he addressed the girl. She scowled at him menacingly. "Dora not with you, Moony?" Pettigrew asked casually. Remus swallowed but refused to speak. He stepped to the side, putting Hermione behind him. "I trust it she got my _message_," Pettigrew continued with a smirk. Remus continued to stare at the man but said nothing. Peter grew impatient. "Come come, Remus. Lost for words? That's not like you."

"I have nothing to say to you Peter," Lupin snapped. He grabbed Hermione's arm tightly, causing her to wince in pain, and circled past Pettigrew until they were nearer the castle. Remus never removed his wand from Pettigrew's face.

"Go Hermione," he demanded but she didn't move. Her wand remained raised and her face set. "Hermione!" Remus barked at her. Peter gave a laugh.

"Quite the little firecracker this one," he said, taking a step towards the girl. Hermione took a step away and Remus once again placed himself in between them.

"Leave her alone, Peter. Leave Dora alone, and leave me the hell alone!" Remus pushed Hermione and she began to walk, the man walking backwards so as not to take his wand off the traitor.

"I wonder if you could pass on another message to Dora?" Peter called. Remus glared at him. "Tell her that she'd better be ready to join us…because we're ready to take her." He challenged Lupin with a smug expression. Hermione grabbed at Lupin's arm.

"Come on, Lupin. Let's go." But the man pulled away and took a few steps towards the man he had once called his friend. Wand raised, he jabbed Pettigrew under the chin, detecting a flicker of fear.

"I swear Pettigrew, if you hurt her, or our baby in any way then I'll hunt you down personally and kill you myself," he snarled. Peter blinked at him.

"Baby?" Pettigrew laughed. Remus heard Hermione give a little gasp from behind him. "Ooh, has Remus been a naughty boy now?" Remus felt his stomach drop. He hadn't known. And he, the fool, had just told him! Remus felt like kicking himself and knew he would when he reached Hogwarts' grounds…several times. _For someone so smart you really are an idiot, Remus Lupin!_

"Well, what would Padfoot have said about that? I would offer my congratulations Moony, but I doubt it's a time for celebration…in fact, I almost pity you…still, you should be used to losing things by now Moony, especially to me." Remus didn't respond; his body and mind were numb with guilt. "Tell Nymphadora I'll be in touch," the man sneered, before Disapperating with a pop. Remus blinked at where the traitor had stood. He heaved a sigh, and jumped as he felt Hermione's hand take his elbow and lead him up the path.

"I told him. How could I have been so stupid?" the man murmured numbly. Hermione gave him a look of pity.

"You don't know that he didn't already know," she reasoned. "He's probably just provoking you. You heard what Dumbledore told Tonks; don't play his game!" The man nodded to her, but knew that he had probably made the biggest mistake of his life. He only hoped that he wouldn't live to regret it.


	37. Lil Baby Lupin

A/N: I had such a blast writing this chapter. I love Ron in it, he's so daft. Hope you guys enjoy it, it's just a lil light hearted comic relief in between darker chapters. Enjoy :)

It was a warm Saturday afternoon in June. Harry, Ron, Hermione and Neville had taken the opportunity to sit in the shade of the tree to start revision for their mock NEWTs. The three boys chatted lively to each other. Hermione, on the other hand, had not lifted her nose from a book since they had arrived at the spot, not even when Tonks had come to join them, bringing a pile of marking with her. Tonks soon involved herself in the boys' conversation, ignoring Hermione's huffs along with them. Due to her time off from school, Hermione had become even more stressed out about the exams than usual (Ron hadn't thought it possible), and although Lupin had given her tuition at Grimmauld Place, she was still irritable with everyone.

Tonks abandoned her marking and stared hypnotically out towards the lake, watching the giant squid spit water high into the air. A voice distracted her, breaking her gaze.

"Hello there!"

"Rem–"

"Ice cream!" Harry interrupted, jumping to his feet and racing towards his guardian, who gave a laugh.

"Hello to you too, Harry," the man said as he passed over a chocolate ice cream in a cone. Harry grinned. Lupin reached the others under the tree and passed out the remaining cones. He had placed a cooling charm on them for the journey and they were just beginning to melt. Coming to Neville he stopped.

"Ah…"

"It's ok," Hermione said curtly. "He can have mine, I don't have time to eat!" Remus raised his eyebrows in an "I've-been-told" expression and handed the final cone to Neville.

"You don't have time to eat, sleep, blink or breathe but you have time to shout at me for saying Transfiguration is boring," Ron mumbled.

"I heard that, Ronald!" came the voice from behind the book. Remus smiled at Ron and he returned it. He had almost forgiven his former teacher for what he had put Charlie through…and besides, anybody who gave Ron Weasley ice cream was bound to be a decent person!

Remus turned to find Tonks handing him a pile of parchment.

"What's this?"

"Marking," she sang, smiling sweetly. Remus pushed it back, indignantly.

"No way. I'm not doing your work for you. You're getting paid to do it, so do it!" Tonks stuck her bottom lip out.

"I'll pay you," she reasoned.

"Nymphadora, I don't want your money."

"Then I'll pay you with something else." All heads turned to her, even Hermione looked up from her book. Her students blinked at her.

"What? … Ooh not like _that_, you perverted people!" she laughed. Remus felt his cheeks go red. The group sat lazily, eating their ice creams and ignoring their work (save for Hermione.) Ron was frantically licking at his cone; it was a race against time in the heat. His fingers were all sticky and he frowned as he ate. Harry sat beside Ron, laughing at him silently as his own ice cream was still solid. Ron leaned over Hermione's shoulder, to nosey at what she was reading, and managed to drip a large splodge of vanilla over the paragraph she was reading. She let out a shriek, causing Harry to wince and Neville to wiggle a finger in one ear. Ron went red and attempted to clean up his mess, smudging the ink further with his sticky hands.

"Stop it! Stop it!" Hermione hissed, batting him away with a hand. Ron decided to move the other side of Lupin and Tonks, where he considered it to be 'safer.' Tonks gave a laugh.

"It's ok Minnie, it's just a book." Harry turned to his teacher, shaking his head frantically. Hermione opened her eyes wide at this.

"Only a book? Only a book!" she squealed. Tonks cowered in what could only be described as unadulterated fear. Hermione turned from the group with an angry sigh. Neville looked nervous, Ron and Harry just snickered. Hermione's shoulders tensed icily upon hearing them.

"Ronald," she called heatedly, not bothering to face him. "What is a Homorphus Charm?" Thrown off-guard, Ron could only gape like a goldfish and mumble incoherently. Hermione gave a satisfied chuckle. "I didn't think you would know. A Homorphus Charm allows a person to change the shape of others, hence…" she took a rather loud, dramatic breath, "…it is often used against werewolves, in their human form as a prevention of turning or wolf form as a means of turning back to human state." There was a stunned silence. Perhaps Hermione had only just remembered that Lupin was there, for she added: "This is merely an example to show Ron's ignorance, and no offence is meant to anybody present, namely Lupin." Remus just stared at the back of the girl's head.

"Glad she said it and not me," Ron muttered and Harry sniggered.

"Harry," Hermione called and he froze, shooting a look a glance at Tonks and Lupin who were grinning at him. "What is the most commonly used spell when reviving someone who has been stunned?"

Stunning charms…he knew this…didn't he? Where were words when he needed them?

"Help!" he mouthed to his guardians, who shook their heads innocently.

"Err…"

"Wakey Wakey?" Ron supplied randomly, causing Harry and Neville to burst into fits of giggles.

"No! Ennervate!" Hermione shot hotly over her shoulder.

"Oh," Harry tried to sound as serious as possible. "Oh yes of course." Hermione spun around angrily.

"Come on boys, this is OWL level stuff. Honestly," she sighed to herself as she resumed her reading.

Tonks raised her eyebrows incredulously and Remus gave an uncomfortable cough. The boys finally decided to open their books, leaving Tonks and Remus to chat casually.

"I've been alright with my marking up until now," she was telling him, knowing that it wasn't strictly true. "And now all of a sudden I'm swamped…plus I've not been feeling so good 'cause of the baby," she drummed her fingers against her slightly raised abdomen, playfully. Remus saw right through her plan.

"If I could help in any way Dora, I would offer. You know I would."

"But you can!" she insisted. "You just don't want to."

"Correct," he replied with a firm nod. She gave a bitter laugh.

"Right…fine…you just wait Mr Lupin. One day you're gonna want something from me and I'm just gonna turn right around and say – Whoa!" she stopped suddenly. All eyes rose from their books in confusion, even Hermione turned around. Tonks' hand moved to her stomach.

"Are you ok?" Lupin asked in concern. Tonks nodded slightly.

"Yeah," she breathed. "That was weird."

"Oooh, did it kick?" Ron asked in excitement, throwing his book aside and crawling to Tonks who nodded once more. And with that, all students were there with their hands on her tummy, revision forgotten.

"Oooh, do it again," Hermione squealed.

"Guys. Guys! Do you mind?" Tonks waved them off. They removed their hands immediately but stayed close by in case Baby Lupin went for a second attempt. Remus was looking rather baffled.

"Is this a good thing?" he asked. Tonks shrugged.

"First-time mothers don't usually feel anything for another couple of weeks. I guess she's just a fast learner." Tonks grinned up at Remus. He blinked at her dubiously.

"She?"

"Yes."

"Nah," Remus and Harry said together. Tonks frowned.

"Excuse me?"

"It's a boy," Harry told her, Remus nodding his agreement. Tonks shook her head.

"I don't think so."

"You can tell by the way she's carrying it's a girl," Hermione intervened. All the males looked at her.

"Hermione, she's barely showing," Harry argued.

"You sound like Molly," Remus added. Hermione just pouted indignantly.

"We will see," she said knowingly.

"I don't think it's going to be human," Ron spoke up from behind Neville. They stared at him. "Well…like Hermione, we'll see won't we."

Lupin placed a hand on Tonks' bump. She didn't bat him off, he was allowed after all.

"Now then Little Man, you going to kick for your daddy?" Nothing happened and he removed his hand in disappointment.

"Obviously mummy's girl," Tonks jested. Neville, who had finally clicked, looked between his teachers; former and present.

"Wait a minute…are you the father?"

"And the Sickle drops," Ron taunted. Neville lowered his head in embarrassment.

"I'm sorry, I just didn't know," he mumbled. "Congratulations," he added to Lupin before shuffling off to join Hermione back with the discarded books.

"Thought of any names yet?" Ron asked, all bitterness about the pregnancy forgotten. Tonks and Remus looked at each other.

"Well, we decided…what did we decided?" he asked Tonks. She cleared her throat.

"The baby _girl_," ("Boy.") "will not be named after: us, our friends, or our family," ("Past or present, living or dead," Remus added.) "The name will not be gaudy but not plain. It will be pretty but not sickly sweet…oh and it will have to sound good with Lupin."

"Which only leaves Alfondso or Delilah," Harry scoffed.

"Lupin? I thought he was being called Tonks," Remus said in confusion.

"No, we decided on Lupin," Tonks said firmly.

"I don't think so."

"We did!" she insisted.

"Uh oh, domestic!" Ron said to Harry and he crawled off, dragging his friend away from the heated debate.

"Do you not want her to be called Lupin?" Tonks asked in irritation.

"I…I don't mind, whatever."

"Whatever! Remus this is our child we are talking about." She stood up with a growl. "I need to pee," she announced to the group, and stormed off. Remus turned to find the kids staring at him.

"She's a bit hormonal at the moment," he tried to explain.

"I think Tonks has been hormonal all her life," Ron corrected and Remus laughed. "Just a suggestion mate, if you value your life, you'll go with Lupin." Remus nodded, knowing that Ron was more than a little right.

* * *

Remus knocked tentatively on his old classroom door. On hearing a muffled reply he opened the door slowly and took a step in. Tonks looked up from her desk and grinned.

"Uh, is it safe to come in?" he asked quietly. She nodded and rolled her eyes.

"Relax Remus, I don't bite!" she called playfully. He let her quip hang in the air as he made her way to the front of the class.

"I'm off now," he announced and she nodded, but a flicker of sadness could be seen for a brief moment in her eyes.

"Ok then, I dunno when I'll get to see you again," she murmured. He shrugged then leaned forwards and kissed her forehead.

"Goodbye Dora," he said and then turned to go. Having taken a few steps, he stopped and let out a sigh, which echoed in the cool, empty classroom. Remus turned back around quickly and Tonks looked back up with a frown.

"What is it?" she asked. Remus hesitated.

"I…I have to tell you something." There was a pause.

"That we _did _actually decided on Lupin?" she teased with a grin. Remus gave a little laugh; he had to. She was so spirited, even when the world around them was threatening to fall. He sighed once more and took a seat on the edge of a desk.

"Probably," he replied, giving a sad smile. Another pause. "No… something happened recently that I've been putting off telling you because I'm afraid how you'd react." He risked a glance up at his friend to see her mouth open slightly, blinking in bafflement.

"Uh…ok. That doesn't sound good," she ventured and saw him shake his head. Tonks leaned forward firmly on her desk, making Remus even more nervous. He began to fiddle with his hands and continued to stare at them.

"Well?" Tonks asked briskly. Lupin gave an uneasy cough. If anybody had happened to walk in at that moment, it would have been quite a comical sight. Two teachers, past and present, one seemingly being disciplined by the other.

"I spoke to Pettigrew," he announced. His voice sounded loud against the stone walls and he wished it would stop ringing in his ears. Tonks didn't move for quite some time, in fact he wasn't even sure she was breathing. He was about to speak up when she sat back slowly in her chair.

"Right," she whispered. They avoided each other's gaze. Tonks exhaled loudly. "Did you go looking for him?" she enquired. Her voice was clipped, and it irritated Remus though he wasn't sure why exactly.

"No," he protested loudly. "No, he found us."

"Us?" Tonks raised her eyebrows.

"Hermione," Remus muttered quietly, almost hoping she wouldn't hear. Unfortunately for him she did and she was out of her chair in a shot.

"What!" she shrieked. Remus gave a wince. "I don't believe this!" How could Hermione not have mentioned it to her? She felt a small twinge of betrayal, and hated it.

"She was fine. We both were. Nothing happened, he just wanted to talk." Tonks had heard those words too many times; to talk. What did that actually mean? Was it some sort of code for 'something bad will happen soon, you can bet your wand on it!'? Tonks sighed emotionally and took her seat. For once, she wished she could just forget about all her troubles. Sitting outside under the tree eating ice cream, only an hour before, it had felt like another lifetime. A happier lifetime. One that Tonks would actually feel comfortable bringing a child into. Remembering that Remus was there and staring at her, she decided to speak.

"And? What did he say?" Did she really want to know? No not really, but something was clearly bothering Remus.

"Well…not a lot really," the man admitted. "It's more what I said…" This made Tonks frown. Remus was shuffling again. He bit his lip in frustration and avoided her look. Tonks rolled her eyes and gave a nervous giggle.

"For Merlin's sake Remus." He looked up at his name. Her eyes were expectant, not judging or stern. She seemed so innocent, so young. A child caught up in a war that she didn't deserve. Filled with a sudden confidence, he found his voice.

"I told him about the baby…our baby." He resisted the temptation of looking away again. Part of him needed to see her reaction. In all honesty, he was surprised when a small smile crept across her face. She was out of her chair again but this time she circled the desk and crossed to him, taking his hands in hers. They were warm against his cold skin.

"You think he didn't already know?" Tonks asked mildly. Remus shrugged.

"I don't know. He seemed surprised. I didn't want him to know at all, but if I'm the one who's told him then…" he trailed off in guilt. Tonks dropped one of his hands, and brought her own up to stroke his face affectionately before leaning herself against him. Remus rested his chin on her head.

"He probably already knew," she whispered, but her words were firm.

"That's what Hermione said," he mumbled into her hair. Tonks gave a tinkle of a laugh. It warmed his heart to hear it. She pulled away slightly to look at him.

"Then it must be true," she teased.

"If anything happens," Remus began but she silenced him with a finger to his lips.

"Things are going to happen Remus, it's inevitable. We just have to believe that we can get through this together. All three of us," she added, feeling him nod.

"Yes you're right. You, me and the Little Man."

"Little Miss," she corrected, jabbing a finger into his ribs. He gave a laugh.

"Little Lupin," he declared, kissing her softly on the head. She looked up at him quizzically.

"Maybe it was Tonks," she said thoughtfully and he laughed once more.

"Whatever," they said together.

Remus held her for a little longer. Tonks gave a shiver as the classroom went suddenly cool.

"Right, I have to go," the man announced decisively. He let her go quickly, almost as if he was on a timer. Tonks nodded but said nothing. Remus glanced at her, then to her desk. He moved across to it, looking down at her stacks of parchment. Picking up a medium sized pile, he put it under his arm and turned to seea grin spread across her face.

"Ah ha! I win!" she squealed. Remus raised his eyebrows. "Uh...I mean, thank you Remus, you're the best."

"And just you remember it," he replied, heading towards the door. "Stay safe, Nymphadora," he called.

"I plan to," she called back as he opened the door and then disappeared through it. She just hoped she could stick to her plan.

A/N: And then it all went horribly wrong...mwah ha ha! I'm so evil :D Anyhoo review please, thank you.


	38. The Death Eaters

A/N: Was gonna wait a couple more days before I posted this, but then I reached the 100 reviews mark ands got all happy and thought what the hoo I'll post it now. I'm not happy about this chapter, I dunno what it is but I don't like it. It's a shame really, coz this is the last chapter I ever wrote of this fic :( Never mind, review and let me know what you think is wrong with it.

* * *

Argus Filch stood at the main doors of Hogwarts, breathing in the summer evening air with his oddly shaped nose. Mrs Norris prowled loyally around his legs. Now that the exams were over, Filch had taken to patrolling the corridors of Hogwarts more than usual, as those bothersome students had too much time to spare. Realising that he should be doing another round, Filch turned to leave when a faint shimmer of green light caught his attention far across the grounds, towards the gates. Filch's usual grimace deepened and he took a step closer, as if it would help him to see better in the evening's light. Was it a student? Filch guessed so, it was just like a student to creep around the grounds at night causing mischief. The man began to set off down the stone steps when a hand landed on his shoulder, causing him to startle. 

"Ah, Professor Dumbledore…I've just seen…" but the man trailed off, seeing that Dumbledore had also spotted the green light. It was brighter now, perhaps nearer. The Headmaster's grey eyes never left the spot in the distance.

"Students is my guess," Filch snarled. Dumbledore shook his head, and then turned to his Caretaker.

"I do not think so, Argus," he said calmly, though Filch could see a flicker of regret and apprehension in the old man's pale grey eyes. "Round up the ghosts. Tell them to spread the word to the Heads of Houses. The school must assemble immediately in the Great Hall." Albus turned his eyes back to the grounds. Filch frowned.

"What is it, Professor?" he asked nervously. The elderly wizard gave a saddened sigh.

"Security has been breached."

* * *

The Gryffindor common room was bursting with lively activity. All the students were relieved that their exams were finally over, and that the summer holiday would arrive in a weeks time. Even Hermione had relaxed, now that the workload had gone. She sat in a squashy chair watching Ron and Ginny play a light-hearted game of Wizard's Chess. Harry was nowhere to be seen. 

"Where's he got to?" Ginny asked as one of her knights became overly aggressive. Hermione shrugged.

"Last I heard he'd gone up to his dorm. Probably sleeping, it's been a tough week."

Ron looked up at his friend.

"Yeah, for you maybe. But Harry and me were wise enough to realise that these were only mock exams. Not worth getting stressed over!" He gave a grin as he made a move. "Check," he sang to his little sister. She huffed and rolled her eyes.

At that moment, Professor McGonagall stormed into the common room. Everyone fell silent in shock; this very rarely happened.

"Children, can I have your attention please. The school is under attack." The students erupted into numerous conversations. McGonagall raised her voice over them. "I need you to make your way sensibly and silently to the Great Hall. This is extremely important," her voice cracked and Hermione turned to Ron and Ginny, noticing that their Head of House was shaking slightly. "Do not panic, do not collect your things. Form an orderly line and follow me." She turned swiftly and the students rose from their seats immediately.

"Do not pass Go, do not collect $200," Seamus laughed. Hermione glared at him.

"This isn't funny, Seamus!" she chided disapprovingly.

"Ah come on, Hermione. It's just a drill. We've never had to do this before."

Ron crossed to the window, and peered out. In the faint light he could see a bright green flare shoot up into the sky from afar. He turned to his friends, his face pale and set.

"This is no drill."

The students made their way in single file down the many flights of moving stairs. They whispered nervously as they did so, causing each of them to grow more and more anxious by the second. They made it to the Great Hall and were ordered to take their seats around their House table. Dumbledore stood at the front of the hall. He called Fawkes the phoenix out from nowhere, prompting a "Cool!" from several of the children. Hermione rolled her eyes then turned to Ginny.

"He's summoning the Order," she whispered and Ginny nodded. The Heads of Houses accepted pieces of parchment from the Headmaster, and began to pace the hall, taking a roll call. Tonks made her way over to Hermione, Ron and Ginny, looking tired and fearful. She was breathing heavily as she reached them.

"Are you guys ok?" she asked and they all nodded silently.

"Tonks, what's going on?" Ron spoke up. Tonks was trembling. Her eyes fell on Hermione and an unspoken thought passed between them. Hermione nodded slightly; she knew.

"What?" Ron asked again, looking between them.

"Death Eaters," Hermione turned to him. The boy's eyes widened and Ginny gave a little yelp. Tonks ran her hands over her face and then removed them suddenly.

"Where's Harry?" she asked quickly and the three teenagers looked to one another.

"Um…we think he's still in the dormitory," Ron mumbled. Tonks' mouth dropped.

"What!" she screeched, causing many of her students to look across at them. Hermione pointed across to the door as Fawkes flew in gracefully, followed by Lupin, Moody and Kingsley. Tonks wasn't sure how they had managed to arrive so quickly, but she was glad that they had.

"The Auror will be here soon," she mumbled to no one in particular. Taking another deep breath, she faced the three teenagers.

"I have to go look for Harry," she told them quickly. "Stay here. Do exactly as Dumbledore tells you. Take care of yourselves." She ran off towards Lupin. Hermione saw them exchange anxious words. Tonks was clearly worried. Lupin was indicating for her to calm down. Hermione watched the man stroke the woman's cheek affectionately and the two ran off towards Gryffindor Tower. The girl then turned her attention to her Headmaster as he began to speak.

"My students," he began, "we have to work quickly. You are all in grave danger I regret to admit. Listen to me now, the tables at which you are sat at will become Portkeys. I request that you all place both of your hands over the table in front of you." The students shuffled around, obeying. Dumbledore gave a nod to his teachers.

"Portus!" they cried together, and the room glowed bright blue for an instant. All four large tables began to shake as if in an earthquake. A few of the girls, including Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil gave out a shriek. The tables settled back down, and dust rose up into the air, causing people to cough. Dumbledore took a deep breath.

"These Portkeys will take you to Gringotts in Diagon Alley. You will be safe there," he assured his pupils. Ron leant forwards to Hermione and whispered in her ear.

"Hagrid told Harry that Gringotts is probably the safest place in the world–"

"Except Hogwarts," Ginny pointed out dryly and her brother sat back in his seat, deflated.

"The Portus should be ready now," Dumbledore announced. "You may place your hands onto the table when I give the signal. Ah, and would the Weasleys and Miss Granger stay behind please." All eyes turned to land on them. Ron and Ginny went pink, but Hermione stood up importantly and dragged her two friends with them. They walked down the aisle in between two of the large tables, Malfoy sneering at them as they passed.

"As for the rest of you, you may place your hands on the table…now!" There was a whooshing noise, and the hall emptied of students, leaving an eerie silence in their wake. Dumbledore turned to the three remaining pupils.

"Your mother would like you at Headquarters where she can keep an eye on you." He passed them a golden goblet. "Take this." They obeyed instantly, feeling the familiar tug behind their navel, and transporting themto safety. Once the hall was empty of students, Dumbledore breathed heavily in relief. He turned to Moody and Kingsley, stood in the doorway.

"It is time," he said.


	39. An escape

A/N: Last chapter wasn't the end of this story. I wrote the end and worked backwards so that the previous chapter was the last one that I wrote on this story. Confused? So am I :D.

I'm updating a chapter a day-ish. I'm working on the second story now. It's not going to be very long so I'm hoping to have it finished and posted before HBP is released. Then I'll work on the 3rd story after I've read HBP and grieved for who ever it is that JK is evil enough to kill off this time :D. Thanks for the reviews. I'll shut up now.

* * *

Harry had jolted upright in bed, having heard a shout. He must have fallen asleep unintentionally as he still wore his jeans and an old t-shirt. He frowned and grabbed for his glasses from his bedside table, only to realise that he was in fact wearing them. It was only just becoming dark; he could have only been asleep for an hour at most. Noticing that the other beds in the dormitory were unoccupied, he assumed that it was just some students messing around downstairs. Nevertheless, the boy climbed out of bed and shuffled to the top of the common room stairs, rubbing the sleep from out of his eyes. Harry blinked several times. The room was empty. Belongings remained, discarded haphazardly. There was silence. Harry frowned as he made his way across the room. Books were left open, bags were littering the floor, and a chess set stood unfinished, its pieces crossing their arms and tapping their feet impatiently. What was going on here? 

"Hello?" Harry called apprehensively. There was no reply. At that moment he heard another cry, and realised that it came from the grounds. Harry crossed to the window and peered out, trying to make out figures in the fading light. Just then, the portrait of the Fat Lady swung open urgently, giving a bang and causing Harry to jump a foot in the air. He spun around and was confronted by his two guardians, much to the boy's surprise. They spotted him at once and crossed over to him regarding the sluggish boy, his hair still tousled.

"Where the hell have you been?" Tonks shouted at him. She seemed flustered; her cheeks were pink and her long, currently auburn hair flew about her as she strode to him. Harry opened and closed his mouth like a goldfish, clearly baffled.

"Umm…I've been asleep. What's going on?" he asked them curiously. Tonks gave a growl, placed her hand on her stomach and peered out of the window leaving Remus to explain.

"There are Death Eaters here, Harry. Grab your wand, we're leaving." Harry's eyes widened at this revelation. He gave a nervous laugh.

"What, here in the castle? Come off it." Seeing that their faces were set, Harry's grin faded. "Oh," he mumbled.

"Where's your Floo powder?" Tonks asked urgently from the fireplace. Harry blinked at her.

"We don't have any. We're not allowed it," the boy said, knowing that Tonks knew already. She was panicking, he could tell that much. She gave a sigh of distress and brought a hand up to her forehead wearily. Harry turned to Remus, who was much calmer than the witch.

"What are we going to do?" the boy asked. Remus stood very still, rubbing his jaw.

"Harry, go get your wand. And the map too, we may need it. We'll head for the nearest office and Floo you from there. Or we'll try to get you to the Great Hall. Dumbledore has arranged emergency Portkeys." Harry blinked, trying to take it all in. He hoped to Merlin that Hermione and Ron were safe, though he was slightly annoyed that they hadn't woken him.

"Maybe," Tonks spoke up. "Maybe he should get his broom. He could fly out of the window to Hogsmeade and Apperate from there," she rambled, bordering on hysteria. Remus grimaced at her.

"Dora, for heavens sake. Sit down, calm down and shut up," he commanded. "I knew I shouldn't have brought you," he mumbled as an afterthought. Harry looked between them. "Well, Harry? Get moving!"

Harry scarpered off up the stone steps. Tonks was rocking slightly on the sofa.

"I can not _believe_ that they didn't wake him!" she hissed angrily. "Believe me, I am having serious words with those two."

"Nymphadora, you really need to calm down," Remus told her gently, taking her hand. This wasn't like her at all.

"They're going to kill him, Remus. He's going to die and it's going to be my fault. I promised Sirius I'd look after him–"

"And we will," Remus assured her, kissing her trembling hand lightly. She looked up at him; calm and sensible Lupin. She was so relieved that he was there. Standing up suddenly, she through her arms around him. Remus blinked in surprise, before moving his arms around her waist.

"Uh…guys. I don't mean to spoil the moment you've got going on but you need to see this." Harry was striding towards them quickly, holding the Marauder's Map out in front of him. Remus snatched the map off Harry, seeing a name floating nearer and nearer to the Gryffindor common room. Peter Pettigrew. Tonks looked over Remus' shoulder and gave a little squeak.

"Oh shit!" she hissed. Remus turned to her.

"Dora, Dora listen to me. Hello?" he waved a hand in front up her eyes, breaking her gaze from the map. "Dora, I want you to take Harry up to the dorm and hide, do you understand?" he asked firmly. She shook her head. "You don't understand?" he asked.

"I understand, I'm just not leaving you," she cried to him. He gave a growl of frustration.

"Nymphadora, this man is coming for you. He'll kill Harry. It's you two or me, and I'm sorry but I'm choosing your lives over mine!" His eyes were filled with certainty. "Now go!"

"No, Remus! It's me they're after. If they have me then no one will have to get hurt…don't you understand? I can end this. I have to. I see that know," she said quietly to the floor. Remus shook his head. Harry groaned at them.

"Guys! I'll fight him. Then you two can live happily ever after and play happy families. Ok?"

"No!" they shouted in unison. Harry grinned at them. He loved them both so much, but sometimes they really were mad. A bang came from the portrait, and the Fat Lady screamed. All three froze. Harry grabbed the map from Remus but it was Tonks who spoke.

"He's here," Tonks whispered. "What are we going to do?" There was another bang, followed by the cracking of wood. Harry could feel his heart beating fast. Then he felt a hand grab his arm tightly pulling him towards the sofa, and he dropped the map.

"Whoa!" he exclaimed as Tonks' hand pushed his head down.

"Stay there," she hissed. Harry cringed.

"Yeah, I'm invisible now," he muttered sarcastically from behind the couch. Tonks glanced at Remus, who had gone very pale. She squeezed his hand briefly, then let go as the portrait flew off its hinges and landed in a splintered heap.

Peter Pettigrew stepped forward dramatically, a sinister grin on his face.

"Expelliarmus!" he cried, causing Remus and Tonks' wands to fly into the air, dropping randomly on the carpeted floor. _Great, now we're screwed!_ Tonks thought.

"I thought I'd find you here, Dora. And Remus too…" Remus stared at him coldly, feeling hatred well up inside of him. "The Death Eaters are waiting downstairs for you, Nymph. They're rather impatient." Tonks froze. Taking a deep breath she managed to take a step forward. A satisfied grin crept onto Pettigrew's face.

"Dora," Remus said quietly.

"Remus, please don't," she whispered, feeling tears rolling down her cheeks. Wormtail rolled his eyes.

"Yes, goodbye goodbye, it's tragic, whatever," he drawled impatiently. His eyes met his former friend's. "Well, we could always do a deal Moony," he suggested casually.

"Me for her," Remus said firmly. Tonks took a step back to be beside her best friend. Peter gave a bitter laugh.

"Don't flatter yourself, Remus," he spat. "No… Harry. Where is he?"

"Like we'd tell you," Tonks sneered at him. Peter paused, then moved forward and cracked her around the face with the back of his hand. She responded similarly with an angry fist. Remus moved between them. Tonks dabbed at her lip with a finger; it was bleeding. Peter shook his head slightly, dazed.

"You son of a bitch," Remus shouted at him. Peter pointed his wand at Lupin threateningly. Tonks began to panic. She took a step backwards, nearer the sofa.

"Harry," she breathed so softly that he almost didn't hear it. The boy looked up. Tonks wasn't looking at him but her hand was outstretched behind her back. "Wand," she whispered gently, making it sound like a sigh. Harry understood immediately, and pulled his wand from out of his pocket. He discretely passed it to her, and she stuck up a thumb behind her back. Harry grinned; typical Tonks.

"I would be very careful, if I were you Moony," Pettigrew was saying. "I could take everything from you, just like that." He snapped his fingers on his remaining hand in Lupin's face. Lupin flinched slightly, hating himself for it. Peter gave another laugh and, directing his wand at Remus, he called a Blasting Curse. Tonks thought fast and, remembering a lesson with Draco Malfoy that went terribly wrong, she cried:

"Reflecto Proprietor!"

Wormtail's eyes widened briefly before his spell bounced off an invisible barrier and hit him squarely in the chest, knocking him down. Remus turned to her slowly, clearly surprised. She waved Harry's wand at him playfully, offering him a grin and a wink.

"Still got it," she breathed boldly. However, her grin faded as Pettigrew wheezed a laugh from the floor. The couple looked down to see him holding the Marauder's Map, a delighted gleam in his cold eyes. _Uh oh!_ thought Tonks and she turned to Remus, cringing.

"Oh, Harry!" Peter sang as he rose from the floor. "Come on out Harry, you're missing all the fun." Harry rose slowly from behind the furniture, feeling like a child who had been caught doing something he shouldn't. "It's been a while," Peter scoffed.

"Not long enough," Harry sneered at him. Pettigrew raised his eyebrows and turned to Lupin.

"Well, you've done an excellent job with him Moony, you really have. But I can take it from here. You," he pointed with his one hand at Tonks, "come with me. Bring the boy." Tonks hesitated then moved for what was once the portrait. Harry stood his ground. This angered Pettigrew and he raised his wand in attack position. Tonks gasped and raised Harry's wand in her own hand. What happened next surprised them all.

"Stupefy!" called a male voice from behind Tonks. A bolt of red light shot past her, hitting Pettigrew in the back and knocking him down. Lupin and Harry both turned to her.

"Don't look at me," Tonks said, also baffled. At that moment, Severus Snape entered the Gryffindor common room, looking down his nose at the unconscious man on the floor.

"Potter," he snapped. "Everyone has been wondering where you had gotten to. Once again, you manage to be the object of everybody's attention." Harry simply scowled at his teacher. Pettigrew began to stir, giving a groan of pain. Snape blinked in apparent revulsion.

"Well, I seem to have come at a bad time. Lupin, I believe that this is your fight; I'll leave you to it. Come along Potter, you've missed the Portkey, I'll have to take you to Hogsmeade myself." The man sounded rather put out, as if he had other plans. Harry scrambled out from behind the couch and grabbed at the Marauder's Map ("Mischief Managed!" he whispered), then picked up Tonks and Lupins' wands. Harry and Tonks swapped and the boy headed for the door, as Pettigrew began to moan once more.

"Wait," Remus called and Snape spun around in annoyance. "Take Dora with you."

"Remus, no!" she protested but he ignored her.

"Follow the tunnel to the Shrieking Shack. It'll be the safest," Remus told the man, who nodded.

"Come on then Tonks," Severus commanded. Harry was pulling her by the arm and she dug her heels into the carpet.

"No, get off! Remus, I can't leave you."

"You have to and you will." He moved to her, taking her shoulders and lowering his head to look into her eyes. "This isn't your fight, Nymphadora. It should never have been," he said quietly and she nodded, knowing he was right. "Go," he said, shoving her gently.

"Come back to me," she whispered, and followed Harry to the portrait hole. The boy looked to his guardian.

"Be careful," he stressed, but grinned boyishly, causing Remus to smile slightly.

"You too." Looking to Snape he said, "If anything happens to them–"

"I know I know, that'd make us both dead men," Snape told him dryly before following Harry out of the room. Tonks turned to look at him once more. _I love you_, she thought and wanted to say but it sounded too much like a goodbye. She simply gave a squeak and followed the wizards out of the room.

"I love you," Remus whispered, watching her go. Looking down to the floor, he saw his old friend begin to stir.


	40. An accident

A/N: **Hope**, as much as I was terrified by your last review, you're gonna have to wait another chapter to find out what happens to Remus, hee hee hee.

The second story is going well. In fact, if things continue as they have been doing, I may even have it finishedbefore I finish posting this fic. At the moment I'm also working on a comedy involving Sirius, Lupin and Tonks in the week before Harry arrives at Headquarters. (Summer before OotP.) Should be good, watch this space!

This chapter is dedicated to Snape. He's taken a bashing in some of my previous fics, like Lost and Found and especially Great Minds Think Alike! (Sniggers uncontrollably to herself.) So it's about time I did something nice with him for a change. Here's to you Snivvy!

* * *

Harry's breath burned in his chest but he refused to slow down. In the darkness he could barely make out his Potions Professor, donned in his usual black. Harry could hear the ragged breath of Tonks behind him as they made their way across the lawns of the castle. Her hand was clammy in his but he refused to let go. At that moment she halted abruptly, causing Harry's arm to jolt in pain. He stopped and spun around, as did Snape. 

"This isn't right," Tonks panted. "We have to go back." She snatched her hand from Harry's grip and turned back the way they had come. Harry grabbed her arms forcefully but it was Snape who spoke.

"We do not have time for this, Tonks," he hissed urgently, his pale face barely lit by the light from his own wand. "They are after you, both of you. Don't be a fool."

"What, be a coward and run!" Tonks shrieked at him.

"What about your baby?" Snape pressed, knowing how to sway her. Tonks faltered.

"What about Remus?" she added quietly. A shout could be heard from the castle, making them all shudder.

"He can take care of himself." This came from Harry, who took his friend's hand once more and began to move her along. Snape took her other side.

"I can't live without him, Harry," Tonks whimpered as they walked. "If he…if anything happens to him I don't know what I'll do." Harry glanced across to Snape who gave his student look of warning; don't panic her. A shot of green sparks flew up into the air, lighting up the sky for a brief moment. _Like fireworks_, Harry thought or wished. Dark shadows could be seen far across the grounds. Snape noticed immediately and quickened the pace, trailing off slightly to the left. He hoped to follow the lake's edge to the forest, where the trees would hide them until they reached the Whomping Willow itself.

Harry felt himself jogging now, in an attempt to keep up with Snape. Tonks was straggling behind, crying softly to herself. Snape glanced over his shoulder at the woman.

"Come along, girl," he ordered and her pace accelerated. But of course, in typical Tonks fashion, her boot caught in a tangled root on the embankment. Her ankle twisted and she tumbled. It all happened so quickly that Tonks barely had time to give a slight yelp, before plummeting head first into the dank water.

Harry heard the splash rather than the squeal. His wand showed the ripples on the lake, lapping at the sides of the muddy bank. The boy froze, his brain taking a moment to figure out what had just happened.

"Oh," he said unnecessarily, and then, "Tonks! TONKS!" Snape spun around immediately, his dark robes flowing behind him as he retraced his steps back to the boy.

"Snape! Help her!" Harry jumped down the embankment, landing in the water, which came up to his waste. It was not as cold as he expected it to be but also not as warm as he would have liked. He began to wade, which was difficult as his sodden jeans weighed him down. He felt Snape's hands grasp his shoulders forcefully and pull him back so he almost toppled over.

"Out now Potter!" the Potions Master commanded. Harry did as he was told and watched helplessly as his teacher struggled to save his guardian. Snape's robes were a hindrance so he shrugged them off before reaching under the water to pull Tonks back up. Her hair had morphed back to its natural state, as had her eyes, which were closed. Her skin was pale from the chill of the water. Snape groaned as he heaved the woman's body back out of the water. Harry helped him from the shore. Once both professors were on land, Harry leaned over Tonks, his eyes wide with panic. Snape pushed him aside powerfully.

"Out of the way, Potter." Harry fell backwards, his wet hands sinking in the mud. _Please be ok, please be ok _he thought desperately to himself. Snape's hands push the woman's damp, unkempt hair gently from her colourless face and then moved above her raised abdomen, to her ribcage to check for breathing. A flicker of concern was evident on his face. Harry noticed and cried out unnecessarily.

"She's not breathing! Do something!"

Snape tilted her head back gently and opened her mouth slightly.

"Come on child," he muttered. "You don't want me to do this." He lowered his mouth onto hers and exhaled deeply. Rising back up he saw no improvement and went for a second attempt, and another, and another. Harry could feel hot tears stinging his eyes. He blinked them away.

"Come on," Snape growled. "Don't do this to me girl." He breathed for her again and this time her eyelids began to flicker. Snape moved just in time as Tonks began to cough up filthy lake water. She rolled over slightly and retched, vomiting onto the Potion Master's hand. Then man simply blinked down at her, shaking the liquid from off his hand testily. Tonks closed her eyes again and lay very still.

"She'll be fine," Snape assured Harry who looked concerned once more. Crouching slightly, he scooped his colleague up in his arms and jigged her until she was adjusted comfortably. He had to admit, for a pregnant woman, she was rather light.

"Ok, let's go."

Their pace had somewhat decelerated with Tonks in Snape's arms, but they eventually made it to the edge of the forest. Harry did not know which way to look. As nervous as he was of Death Eaters following them from behind, he would rather not be attacked by something from the Forbidden Forest. _That would be just my luck_, he thought miserably. His eyes fell instead on Tonks who lay silent and still in Snape's arms.

The trio eventually made their way to a clearing where the Whomping Willow stood, menacingly still. Snape put Tonks down gently on the soft ground. She gave a little groan. Snape stepped forward a couple of times until the branches sensed their presence and began to shudder. _Where's Crookshanks when you need him?_ Harry pondered; _he knows just how to handle this tree. _As a branch swung at Snape he took a casual step back. Removing his wand he said clearly, 'Immobulus.' The tree froze, swaying ever so slightly.

"Handy," Harry commented lightly. Snape just stared at him and Harry looked to the floor.

"Hurry Potter, it won't last long…No, no I'll get her. You get in." Harry dashed off to the opening at the bottom of the sedated tree. Snape only just made it in time as the branches began to creak. He slid Tonks down the dirty slope first, and then followed her.

Once in the low-ceilinged underground tunnel, it was rather difficult to carry Tonks. Snape managed, though it took some time. Harry felt guilty for not helping, but knew he would be reprimanded if he tried, and thought better of it. Once in the Shrieking Shack, Harry felt safe, well…safer. He looked around the old building, thinking how long ago it had been since he last stood there. He was reminded of the first time he and Sirius laid eyes on each other. And Peter. Harry chose to ignore that thought and was then reminded of another. Snape. Harry cringed as he turned to his teacher, who stared back at the boy resentfully.

"Oh I remember," he sneered bitterly. Harry cowered slightly.

"Oh yeah, sorry 'bout that."

They made their way out of the front of the Shack. As Snape jolted down the hill, Tonks began to come around with a moan. Snape laid her down.

"Tonks…Tonks…Nymphadora can you hear me?"

"Yes," she mumbled weakly, attempting to sit up.

"You have to Disapperate now. Do you understand me? We must get to Grimmauld Place." The man helped her up and she wobbled, hanging on to him for support.

"I understand you," she croaked. Snape and Harry exchanged significant looks before the three of them disappeared into the night with a loud pop.


	41. Marauder Showdown

A/N: I mentioned a few chapters ago that there would be 45 chapters in all. This was when this chapter was part of chapter 39. However, I wanted to make it a chapter of its own, therefore there will now be 46 chapters in total. Have a nice day :)

* * *

Remus looked down at his former friend, his brother, the traitor. The stout man pushed himself up with his one arm and gave an involuntary groan. Lupin crossed over to where Pettigrew's wand lay unattended on the common room floor. 

"Get up," Remus commanded. He was rather surprised at the calmness of his own voice. Peter remained on the floor. Remus grew impatient. He kicked out at the man, causing him to reel in pain. "I said get up!" he snapped. Ok, perhaps the kick hadn't helped but it had sure felt good. Pettigrew managed to scramble up, and turned to face Remus with a sardonic smile. Remus raised both wands to him.

"Are you going to kill me, Remus?" he asked derisively, though Remus could see the flicker of fear in the man's eyes, he could smell it. He took a step forwards and the shorter man flinched.

"I thought you'd be begging me to, Peter. After all, it's not the first time you've failed to give your Master what he wants," Remus said dryly. Pettigrew licked his lips. He had only just realised that Nymphadora and Harry had gone. They were all alone; the remaining Marauders.

"You won't kill me," Wormtail spoke up, though he didn't seem too sure of himself. Remus raised his eyebrows.

"No? And why's that? Give me one good reason not to blast you were you stand, you filthy traitor!" Remus demanded. "You've taken everything I've ever cared about. I trusted you Peter, we all did. James and Sirius." The man flinched as he heard their names. "The Marauders," Remus laughed the name bitterly. "Friends to the very end…well it's the end Peter, and you are certainly not my friend," he spat in disgust.

He moved towards Pettigrew, jabbing the tip of the man's own wand under his chin. "You remember this common room, Peter?" Lupin asked casually. "Of course you do, it hasn't been long since you were in it," he mused; recalling all of the years Pettigrew had crept around Harry in the form of a rat. "Remember our Christmas in 6th Year?" he asked, almost pleasantly. Peter swallowed nervously. "Well? Do you?" Remus barked and the now-timid man nodded as much as he could with the wand still under his jaw. "Sat in front of that fire, all four of us…do you remember what we said?" Remus paused, allowing the man chance to speak. He didn't. "I know you remember, _Wormtail_," he said his old nickname with obvious revulsion. "I can see it in your face! Tell me!"

"Remus, please…" Pettigrew pleaded. Lupin looked as if he wanted to be sick.

"Say it!" he shouted in his face, taking a step towards him to close the gap between them.

"The oath," Peter mumbled feebly.

"Which was?" Remus snapped impatiently. He knew. Of course he did. He just wanted to hear it from the one who had broken the pact. "Word for word, Peter."

Pettigrew's mouth was dry. He gave a small cough, which sounded more like a choke and looked his old friend in the eyes.

"Through the bonds of fraternal friendship I, Peter Pettigrew, do solemnly swear that I will honour, protect and remain a faithful companion to Ja…James Potter, Sirius Black and … Remus Lupin," he mumbled the final name. "I will fight for them, beside them and live my life with them. My life is our life, and I would willingly give it to them and lose it for them," he finished. Remus blinked at him, taking a step away and relaxing his wand arm slightly. He gave a slight laugh, though he really wasn't sure why. Beads of sweat were forming on Pettigrew's forehead. He knew that laugh, he'd heard it before, and he'd laughed it himself. Lupin broke eye contact for a second. Taking a deep breath, he looked up to the man whom he had once trusted with his life. He had loved him once.

"You know what Peter," he said quietly. "You broke that pact. But I will have you keep one last promise…You will die for me you murderous son of a bitch! AVADA KEDAVRA!" he shouted. Pettigrew's eyes widened in terror before a bolt of green light emitted from his own wand in a whoosh. He didn't even feel the curse hit him. Perhaps he had died from fear, before it reached him. The traitor's body flew across the common room, colliding hard with the far wall. The body slid down into a heap on the floor with a thud.

Remus let out a sob, dropped both wands, and fell to his knees with his head in his trembling hands. He had done it. He had killed the man who had betrayed him, who had caused him so much pain. And yet, as he braved a glace across the empty room towards the corpse, he was filled instantly with shame and regret.

"Sirius, James, forgive me," he cried. The final Marauder was left to remember his friends alone, the memories, the grief, and the pact that he would continue to uphold for as long as he remained alive…for them, his brothers.


	42. Home safe

Molly Weasley stood up with a gasp as Harry, Snape and a barely conscious Tonks traipsed down the kitchen stairs of Grimmauld Place. All three shivered from the sodden clothes they wore. Molly threw her arms around Harry.

"Oh thank Merlin!" she cried, almost suffocating him. He broke free, only for Hermione to do the same.

"I thought you were dead," she whimpered, her eyes puffy and red, obviously from crying. Harry shook his head, not knowing how else to respond. His friend gave a squeak and threw her arms around him once more. Ron also looked relieved, as he sat by his younger sister. Harry headed over to them once he had made sure Tonks was seated.

"What happened to you?" Molly exclaimed, handing Tonks a blanket first then Snape, who had never been fussed over by Molly before. He wore a brief look of puzzlement before accepting the warm dry blanket.

"I had a little accident," Tonks admitted, her pale cheeks warming in embarrassment as Snape took a seat beside her.

"She fell into the lake," he supplied coolly. Tonks looked at him then away quickly.

"And the baby?" Molly pressed.

"She's fine, I can feel her moving. She's had a busy night," Tonks added lightly. The front door banged loudly, awaking Mrs. Black and causing all heads to snap up to the top of the stairs. Kingsley Shacklebolt appeared as Mrs. Black was silenced.

"The castle's clear," he announced. "The kids got out safely and…the Death Eaters have all been scared off," he told them as he descended the stairs.

"They don't scare easily," Harry warned, but Kingsley knew. He simply nodded to the boy.

"They're gone. Moody is just clearing up with the team."

"And Remus?" Tonks asked standing and letting her blanket fall to the ground. Kingsley surveyed the witch for a moment, then a brief flicker of concern flashed across his face.

"I…I haven't seen him," the man admitted quietly. Tonks subconsciously lowered herself back down to her chair. She covered her face with her hands.

"Oh God, what have I done?" she whispered. "I shouldn't have left him, I should have been with him."

Harry bit his lip and looked to Ron, Ginny and Hermione. They all wore similar expressions of anxiety. Molly and Kingsley exchanged worried glances, Snape just looked at the floor.

"Come on Dora, let's get you out of these wet clothes," Molly said eventually, taking the witch by the hand.

"I can't," Tonks protested weakly, though she rose as Molly lead her from her seat and to the stairs. "I have to wait for Remus."

"We'll wait upstairs, dear. Come on, these wet clothes aren't good for the baby."

Once Molly and Tonks had left the kitchen, the others just sat and waited in silence. Snape felt rather uncomfortable in the situation, with Harry glancing over at him every other minute. Due to their stillness they heard the front door click to, quietly above them and once again all heads turned to see. Remus Lupin made his way slowly down the stairs. He heard Hermione whisper in relief and saw Harry jump up from his seat immediately. He rushed over to his guardian and pulled him into a fierce embrace, breathing heavily with relief.

"Harry," Lupin mumbled into the boy's hair. He let go of the man, and then thumped him rather hard on the shoulder.

"Where the hell have you been!" he exclaimed. Something flickered in Remus' eye that Harry didn't understand. The man simply shook his head.

"Where's Tonks?" he asked urgently. The group looked at each other. Remus followed their glances. "Well?"

"Relax Lupin, she's upstairs," Snape muttered from the table.

"Is she ok?"

"We had a slight hitch," Harry admitted. Remus looked at him in alarm then his eyes fell on Snape.

"What did you do to her, Snape? If I hear you hurt her in anyway I–"

"Remus, no!" Harry protested. "Tonks, she…she nearly drowned. She nearly died tonight Remus but Snape saved her. I stood there like a ninny while he saved her life!"

Remus blinked several times, trying to take in all that Harry had just confessed; that Dora had nearly died, that Harry had called himself a ninny, that Snape, Severus Snape, had saved his Dora's life.

"And the baby?" he found himself asking, nervously.

"He's fine," Harry grinned. Lupin and Snape locked stares.

"Thank you," Lupin whispered and he truly meant it. "Thank you so much, Severus. You…you have no idea how grateful I am. Really…thank you so much." Remus offered his hand, which Snape took hesitantly.

"You're welcome," he mumbled, not really sure how to react. Feeling rather uncomfortable he rose from his place, "If you'll excuse me," and headed up the kitchen.

Snape's hand was on the front door handle when a voice made him stop and turn around. Tonks was descending the stairs, once again wearing Harry's blue hoodie and a pair of old but dry jeans.

"Are you leaving, Severus?" she called.

"Yes. I must find Dumbledore and–"

"He'll be on his way here," she interjected, reaching the entrance hall. Her hair was still matted and damp, and her eyes were still naturally dark. She looked so much like her cousin, Snape realised. She looked at him expectantly and he removed his hand from the door.

"Yes, you're right," he commented. She made her way across to him.

"I guess…I owe you big time, huh?" Snape nodded but didn't speak. "Seriously Severus, thanks. I guess you would expect such a clumsy stunt from me, but it means a lot that you bothered to save me."

"Well, I couldn't just let you drown," he mumbled awkwardly. Tonks gave a little laugh.

"I'm glad you didn't," she smiled and he almost returned it. Almost. "Hey maybe I could name the baby after you!"

"Maybe not," he replied quickly.

"Good, I'm glad you said that," she laughed. "Well, like I said, thank you." She stood on her toes and kissed him briefly on the cheek. Snape took a small step back, feeling rather confused as to what had just happened.

"Lupin is downstairs," he managed to slur and Tonk's face brightened.

"Really? Is he ok?"

The man nodded to her.

"He's asking for you." Tonks headed for the kitchen stairs. "You know, Dora," he called and she paused. Snape had never called her that before. "Lupin's a lucky man."

"I know," she replied with a grin, before skipping off to the kitchen.

"Remus," Tonks breathed as she headed quickly down the stairs without tripping. He turned to her and embraced her as she ran to him. "I'm never leaving you again! Ever! I promise you!" she cried into his shoulder. He held her tight, smelling her hair, which smelt of pond water but he didn't care in the slightest; his Dora was safe.

"I'm so sorry I left you," she whimpered. "If anything had happened to you I–" He silenced her with a firm kiss, not caring about his audience. Kingsley gave a slight cough and turned away discretely. Ron went as red as his hair and twiddled his thumbs, Ginny and Hermione grinned at each other and Harry felt content. The pair broke apart.

"Don't you dare almost die on me again, Nymphadora, do you hear me?" he chided but she grinned.

"It wasn't in my plans."

"A midnight swim with Snape, should I be jealous?"

"I'd like for you to be," she teased and pulled him into a hug once more. They were broken apart as Dumbledore entered importantly, flanked by a weary looking McGonagall, a sullen Snape and Moody who looked rather merry considering the situation.

"The rest of the Order will be here momentarily," the Headmaster announced. "Children, if you could leave us please."

Harry resented being called a child, but obeyed nonetheless, giving Tonks a peck on the cheek before doing so.

In less than 10 minutes the kitchen was packed with anxious witches and wizards, all wanting to hear what was going on. As they all took their seats around the table, Tonks went to fetch herself a drink of water to try and remove the foul taste of the lake from her mouth. Remus was left alone, very aware of Mad-Eye Moody staring at him knowingly. Remus just blinked and turned away slightly. Tonks sat back down at his side and took his hand, giving him a weak smile. Dumbledore began to speak and the room shushed.

"You will all be relieved to know that all students were evacuated safely. They will be staying at Gringotts tonight." A sigh of relief went through the group. "What happened this evening…well I think you'll all agree when I say that it should never have happened." A murmur of concord went around the group. "And we must be very thankful that none of the students were hurt." Dumbledore paused and sighed wearily. "I must admit that this evening was due to a mistake on my part." The wizard turned to Tonks. "If I had listened to you Dora, then none of this would have happened. Security at Hogwarts is fully operational once more and further security measures are now in place. Please accept my apologies, Tonks."

Tonks eyes met his and she nodded briefly. "I'm just glad that everyone's safe," she murmured.

"Well," Dumbledore addressed the assembly once more. "It's been a long evening, so I think I'll leave it at that. Goodnight everyone."

* * *

Tonks dressed from her shower, still feeling slightly dirty but relieved that she no longer smelt of pondweed. She towel-dried her dark wavy hair as she wandered down the deserted corridors of Headquarters. Noticing that Remus had his light on and his door was slightly ajar, she poked her head through the gap. Her friend was sat on his bed, fully clothed and staring at his hands. 

"Hey you, I thought you were asleep," she said and he shook his head. She entered the room, clicking the door to behind her, then scuttled over to join him on the bed.

"How's the Little Man doing?" he enquired and she smiled.

"Little Miss," she corrected. "And she's fine. I, on the other hand, have been puking up for the past hour. Word of advice Rem, don't drink the lake water, it ain't good for you." The man gave a slight smile. "You've been avoiding me since the meeting ended," she pointed out quietly." Remus looked away with a sigh.

"No…I've been avoiding everybody."

"Something wrong?" He didn't answer, or look at her. "Remus…Remus talk to me." She took his hand; it was cold.

"I've done a terrible thing, Dora," he mumbled. She frowned.

"Remus, what?" He finally looked at her now, his eyes filled with sorrow and regret.

"I killed him," he said quietly. Tonks felt her mouth drop and quickly closed it.

"Peter?" she tried to whisper but ended up mouthing. It was probably for the best, as she didn't think Remus would be strong enough to hear the name. He simply nodded, closing his eyes and letting an unwanted tear fall.

"And I shouldn't feel like this but I do. Why do I care so much?" he asked. Tonks couldn't answer. "I hated him; he'd put me through hell. I had lost everything because of him and yet…" He gave a shuddered breath and felt Tonks' arm move around him, pulling him towards her. "I'll never forget what he's done…but I know I'll also never forget that he was my brother, Tonks. They all were and now they're all gone," he choked then finally fell silent, resting his head against Tonks' shoulder.

"I know, I know," she whispered. "But you didn't have a choice, Remus. He was too dangerous to be kept alive." She felt him nod.

"You're right, I know you are. I couldn't let him hurt another person that I love; you or the baby, or Harry. I just feel so…guilty."

"You're only human, Remus," Tonks reasoned. Lupin wanted to laugh bitterly, and would have if he hadn't felt so sick. He didn't feel human at all.

"What must you think of me?" he asked quietly. Tonks paused.

"Well…let's just say I think we're even now." She was forced to remember her aunt, and gave a slight shudder. Remus tilted his head, glancing up at her.

"I guess so. We're a right pair, aren't we?" Tonks had to agree. She smiled down at him, stroking his soft hair and feeling his breathing slow as he fell to sleep in her arms.

"You silly man," she whispered softly, before kissing his forehead and joining him in sleep.

A/N: And then things take another interesting turn. Here's a sneak peak…

"–And you thought that I'd understand?" she choked back tears. "Well you obviously don't know me very well then. Hell, maybe you know me too well. Maybe I've just realised that I don't know you at all!" She rose from her place. Remus followed her.

"Where are you going?" he called after her. She spun around fiercely.

"Canada, Remus! See you in Hell!"


	43. Canada, Remus! See you in Hell!

A/N: It's so much fun to know what's going to happen, well of course I do, it's my story but still...(grins uncontrollably!) You guys are probably gonna hate me for this chapter...shrug. Happy families would mean no trilogy...I do what I have to do.

* * *

Remus awoke the next morning to find that he was still in his clothes from the day before. He gave a slight groan, running a hand over his face as he remembered the previous day's events. Showering and dressing in fresh clothes, he made his way slowly down to the kitchen. Hearing voices below, he paused to listen. 

"Ron, stop talking with your mouth full. It's disgusting." That was definitely Hermione.

"Yes, Mother." This came cheerily from Harry followed by the girly giggle of Ginny Weasley. Everybody seemed to have risen early except him. And what about Tonks? Sure enough he heard her voice, as jovial as the rest.

"I think your eating habits are wonderful, Ron. A real gentleman."

"That's Ron, alright," came Harry's reply and the group broke into a laugh. Not really wanting to be surrounded by such high-spirits, Remus turned to leave but caught Ginny's eye.

"Good morning, Professor Lupin," she called and the gang all turned to look up at him.

"Wotcher!" Tonks called, flashing him a grin. He responded with a brief smile before joining them around the table. Hermione poured him a cup of tea, which he accepted gratefully.

"How you doing this morning?" Tonks asked, dropping her voice so only he could hear. He gave a nod but remained silent. She pulled him into a one-armed hug, before releasing him to continue with her toast.

"What…what are you eating?" he asked.

"Toast," she replied matter-of-factly, with a firm nod of her head. Remus just stared at her.

"With a layer of golden syrup, blackcurrant jam and chocolate spread," Harry explained from across the table. Remus cringed and saw Ron doing the same.

"It's nice," she insisted as she took another bite. "Wanna try some?" She shoved it under Ron's nose and he withdrew quickly.

"Um…no ta," he mumbled, swallowing in disgust. Tonks gave a laugh and ruffled his red hair.

"I'm taking the kids back to school today," she told Remus. "Dumbledore sent an owl this morning. The other students slept over at Gringotts–"

"Ah, I bet they got to sleep in those purple sleeping bags," Ron cut it. "You remember the purple sleeping bags Harry?" His friend nodded eagerly.

"Oh yeah! Those sleeping bags were amazing." The boys trailed off into their own reverie. Ginny widened her eyes, obviously disturbed. Hermione just looked between her two best friends, cringing at their idiocy. Tonks gave an uncomfortable cough.

"Right…anyway…Dumbledore wants all the students to collect their things today. He's giving them an extra four days of summer holiday."

"Never thought we'd owe the Death Eaters, eh," Ron said, clearly pleased. "Why couldn't they have come before the exams?"

"Ronald!" Hermione protested fiercely. The boy cowered under the reprimand.

"Then we are going home. Which I think is for the best, don't you Ron," Ginny addressed her brother. He nodded eagerly, eying Hermione warily.

"And Minnie and Harry are coming back here. Oh and we need to write to the Dursleys, let them know that we're bringing Harry home."

"Can't I just stay here? I'll be coming back in a few weeks anyway," Harry reasoned but Remus shook his head.

"You know you have to stay at the Dursleys once a year. It's for your own safety Harry."

"Yeah right," he mumbled, looking at the table.

"So…if you could write a letter while we're gone, we can send it with Hedwig when we get back," Tonks finished.

"That's if she hasn't been ripped to shreds by the Death Eaters," Ron commented dryly.

"Ron!" Ginny and Hermione exclaimed simultaneously. Harry just shot him a scowl. Tonks gave a nervous laugh.

"And on that note we should get going, before Ron loses all of his friends." She rose from the table and her students followed suit.

"Are we going on the Knight Bus?" Ginny asked as they put on their jackets. Tonks nodded.

"Are you sure you can handle that, with the breakfast you've just had," Ron commented. Tonks stared at him.

"I'll be fine Ron, but thanks for the concern. You can sit by me though, just to be on the safe side." Ron's friends gave a laugh as his face fell in horror. Tonks gave Remus a kiss on the cheek in passing. Harry, following her, also blew a kiss in Lupin's direction. He rolled his eyes as the boy grinned. The children filed out of the kitchen, leaving Remus alone once more.

* * *

Just over two hours later, Tonks and Harry trundled back down the stairs. Harry carried his broom, which he placed upright in the corner of the kitchen. Tonks carried Hedwig in her cage. 

"One owl," she announced, placing the cage carefully on the table. Hedwig just blinked, uninterested.

"You shouldn't be carrying that," Remus muttered, but he didn't look at her.

"It's fine," she told him. "Is that the letter?" She indicated to a piece of parchment in front of her friend. He nodded. "Cool," she picked it up, and then noticed another scrap of parchment. She frowned. "What's that?" Remus finally looked up at her, and then turned to Harry.

"Do you think we could have a minute, Harry?" The boy looked between his guardians.

"Harry, please."

"What's going on?"

"Go on, Harry. Help Minnie unpack. And here, take these." Tonks handed the boy the letter to his Muggle family and his owl cage.

"Ok," he resigned, heading back up the stairs.

Once Harry had left the room, Remus broke his gaze from his friend. She, however, continued to stare at him. He knew this, of course, but ignored her nonetheless.

"Well? What's going on?" Tonks asked, echoing her student's question. Remus gave a small cough.

"Sit down." She did as she was told, feeling rather like his student. When Remus continued to stare silently at his hands, Tonks spoke up once more.

"Remus, you're scaring me. What's wrong?" He finally turned to her, taking her hands in his.

"It'll be a year tomorrow since Sirius died." Tonks blinked at this, slightly taken aback.

"Oh. Is that what you wanted to talk about?" she asked quietly. Remus shook his head, letting go of her hands and turning away once more.

"No," he whispered. He picked up the piece of parchment in front of him, and passed it to Tonks, who blinked at it. "This came while you were out … from your mother." Tonks snatched it from him immediately. She unfolded it, seeing no name or greeting. The only thing she found was a Canadian address; written in the same handwriting they had both seen on the parchment that had held Bellatrix Lestrange's whereabouts. Tonks stared at it intently, feeling her hands begin to tremble. Her mother was alive. But why was she contacting her now? Had she heard about Bella? The attack on the Ministry? Tonks doubted her mother knew about the incident at Hogwarts, less than 24 hours after it had happened. She looked up from the parchment to see Remus staring at her, his eyes held a sudden sadness that Tonks didn't understand.

"Well…I can't write to her can I, it's not safe." She put the address on the table. "I don't know why she's sent me this."

"You do know, Tonks," he replied quietly. Tonks? What was that all about? She shook her head in confusion. "I..." He put his head in his hands. "Tonks, I think you should go to Canada." A stunned silence followed. Tonks gave a hollow laugh.

"That's crazy," she breathed.

"Is it?"

"Remus, you know it is!" Tonks hissed angrily. She felt her face getting red. "Do you understand what you're saying?" Remus simply nodded. "No, I don't think you do. You're asking me … telling me to leave you. Run away from everything we've fought for, are still fighting for! Why?" she shouted at him.

"Because I don't want you to die, ok?" he shouted back at her. "I didn't expect you to be angry about this, Tonks. I thought you'd understand."

"Understand? You want me out of your life–"

"I never said that!"

"–And you thought that I'd understand?" she choked back tears. "Well you obviously don't know me very well then. Hell, maybe you know me too well, maybe I've just realised that I don't know you at all!" She rose from her place, snatching the address from the table. Remus followed her.

"Where are you going?" he called after her. She spun around fiercely.

"Canada, Remus! See you in Hell!"

* * *

Harry closed Hermione's bedroom window, watching Hedwig fly off into the distance. He turned to see Hermione hanging up her robes with a sigh. 

"You ok?" he called from the window and his friend nodded. "Listen…I know it's gonna be hard for you, living here. But I'm going to be back in a few weeks."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" she teased with a giggle. Harry pouted indignantly, before crossing the room to pull her into a brotherly hug.

"You'll have Tonks, and Remus. You're not on your own Hermione."

"I know," she breathed into his chest. "It's just going to take a bit of getting used to. This," she looked around the dark, drab room, "this is my home now."

"And we are your family now," Harry added, grinning down at her. She smiled back up.

"Yeah, and what a family!"

At that moment they heard heavy footsteps stomp down the hall, followed by a raised voice.

"Oh, just piss off Remus!" Harry and Hermione looked at each other in confusion.

"Tonks, I really think we need to talk about this." ("Did he just call her Tonks?" Harry whispered.)

"I really think I need to get the hell out of your life _Lupin_," she shouted back at him. (Hermione's mouth dropped. "Do you think we should do something?" Harry shook his head.) "Stop acting like a child!"

"I'm the child? I'm the child? I think that's a bit of a kettle and pot thing to say don't you?"

"Fuck you!" ("Yeah, you're right. Maybe we should…" As Harry moved to the door, Tonks said something that made him stop in his tracks.")

"You know what Remus," she gave a bitter laugh. "You treat people like this and then you wonder why you're alone." (Harry heard Hermione gasp from behind him, then a door slam on the corridor. He thought it was Tonks, until–)

"Remus…Remus I'm sorry, I didn't mean…come on, open the door. Fine, be like that! Jerk!" The pair heard what sounded to be like a foot coming in aggressive contact with a door, followed by a small yelp of pain, then angry footsteps once more. Harry and Hermione turned to each other.

"What a family," Harry echoed her words with a grin. She thumped his arm.

"It's not funny Harry. We should go see if they're ok."

"Be my guest…I'm hiding in here." Harry took a seat on the bed. Hermione just stared at him. "Oh, come on Hermione. We can't get involved. They'll sort it out…Fancy a game of chess?"

"Harry!"

"Exploding Snap?"

"You're unbelievable, Harry Potter," she breathed with a sigh.

"Why, thank you very much."

Harry and Hermione didn't see Remus or Tonks for the rest of the day. Hermione caved and played too many games of chess with Harry in the kitchen, until he got bored and moved on to Exploding Snap.

"We could do our homework," Hermione suggested hopefully, after she had won yet another game. Harry grimaced, shuffling the pack once more. The girl gave a groan. "Come on, we can get it out of the way. I'll even help you." Harry paused, seriously considering the offer, before shaking his head.

"Nah, you can help me in a few weeks time," he told her with a grin. Hermione accepted her pile of cards, defeated. After that round, Harry began to build a house of cards. Hermione watched him, while making them both a cup of tea. She paused and, keeping her back to him, she began a new conversation.

"You know what tomorrow is …"

"Thursday," Harry supplied, never taking his eyes off his cards.

"Harry…"

"It's a year since he died, I know," Harry mumbled, still refusing to look her way.

"And…"

"And?" he repeated. Hermione sighed loudly, returning to the table and placing the mugs down heavily, causing the cards to fall. Harry scowled at her.

"And do you want to talk about it?" Hermione asked pointedly.

"No not really," Harry muttered, reaching for the cards again. Hermione took his hands before he had chance.

"I really think you should," she said quietly. Harry paused and then looked at their hands, joined together on the table.

"What's to say Hermione? I miss him. I miss him every day. Tomorrow may be the anniversary of his death, but to me it's just another day to miss him more. Does that make sense?" Hermione nodded. Satisfied with their brief conversation, she let go of his hands.

"So…fancy another game of chess?" Harry asked hopefully. Hermione rolled her eyes. It was going to be a long summer.

They stayed up, talking long into the evening about anything that came up; Quidditch, exams, Krum, Cho Chang ("A cringe-worthy topic," Harry had called it), their parents, and finally Tonks and Remus' baby.

"I hope those two sort it out," Hermione said.

"They will," Harry mused. "They're made for each other, they just don't know it yet."

It was almost midnight when Molly Weasley had popped her head through the grate of the fire to ask if Tonks or Remus had seen Ginny's wand. She thanked Hermione, who passed it to the woman, then chided them both for still being awake at that time of night. The woman disappeared, mumbling something about having serious words with Lupin and Tonks, causing Harry and Hermione to giggle. They made their way quietly up the stairs, not wanting to disturb the adults, though Hermione pointed out that neither of them would be asleep. Harry had to agree.

They stopped outside Hermione's door. Harry felt as if he were walking her home, even though his room was on the next floor.

"Well, goodnight Hermione."

"Good night Harry, sweet dreams." She opened her door.

"You know…you're a lot easier to talk to than Ron," he told her and she laughed.

"Harry, you sound surprised." He grinned at her in return, and then kissed her on the cheek.

"See ya," he called as he ran off down the corridor leaving Hermione stood there giggling, shaking her head lightly at her friend's departure. She was right; Harry Potter was unbelievable.

A/N: Ok, you can review and let me know how much you hate me now. I'm expecting a beating...feel free :D


	44. An 'almost' goodbye

A/N: Um...there is no A/N :) Thanks for the reviews. We're reaching the end of our journey guys...read away...

* * *

Tonks lay fully clothed on her bed, curled in a ball with one hand gently placed against her pregnant stomach. She watched the early morning sunlight enter through her window. Her pillow was damp against her face and she rolled over, ignoring the fact that it was day. She would try to sleep, it was morning but she would try. As soon as she closed her eyes she heard her door creak open slowly. Remus entered, without knocking or without asking, and closed the door behind him. He perched on the edge of her bed, seeing her eyes blinking and knowing that she was awake. 

"Are you crying?" he asked quietly.

"All day and all night," she croaked a reply. "What do you want?"

"To apologise…but if you don't want to hear it then I'll take it down stairs and make you some tea with it instead."

"I don't want tea," she mumbled into her pillow.

"Then what do you want, Tonks?" No, not Tonks. Dora. His Dora. Her whole life she had begged for people to call her Tonks. But now, hearing it from Remus, she wanted nothing more than to be Dora.

"I want you to call me Dora again," she cried. "I want to stay here with you. I want this stupid war to be over. I want you to love me." She took a deep shuddery breath. "And I do want tea, but I don't want you to leave me. Please don't leave me." She broke down into uncontrollable sobs and Remus pulled her close to him, holding her tightly and shushing her as she cried.

"I'm sorry Remus, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean all of those things I said yesterday. I was just angry, and scared. I'm sorry," she sniffled into his chest. He stroked her hair gently.

"Shh, it's ok. I'm sorry too. Don't keep crying, Dora please. You'll make yourself ill." Tonks had to admit that she felt incredibly sick, having missed most of her meals the day before and spent almost 24 hours crying alone on her bed. She took a few deep breaths to calm herself.

"We really should talk," Remus found the courage to say. Tonks shuddered into his chest.

"I don't want to," came the muffled reply.

"Dora, we have to," he said, putting on his 'teacher' voice, which she had to admit she loved. She hid a smile in his chest before looking up at his eyes. He looked tired, and she felt guilty. Was it a full moon tonight? Her guilt doubled. Giving him a firm nod, she found her voice.

"Alright then, let's talk." He put a hand on her tummy, stroking it gently.

"Yesterday…when I told you I wanted you to go to Canada, I never meant to imply in any way that I wanted you out of my life. On the contrary, it's because I want you in my life for a very long time. Forever, in fact. Both of you." He took a deep breath. "You have no idea how hard it was for me to ask you to leave me. Of course I don't want you to go. That's just … silly." She laughed, hearing him use her word. "But sometimes we have to make sacrifices. If losing you, even just for a couple of months while all this trouble dies down, means that I get to spend the rest of my life with you then…that's what I'll have to live with." Tonks felt another tear fall from her eye. She wiped it away. "Why are you crying again? I don't want you to hate me Dora, please don't hate me."

"I don't hate you," she whispered. "I'm crying 'cause I know you're right. I want to be safe here but I know I'm not. I want to stay with you but I know I can't. And I also know that I'm going to be leaving you here on your own and that kills me more than anything." They sat in silence, listening to Tonks' sniffles. "It's not like it's forever," she tried to reason eventually. Remus nodded, though he didn't find comfort in her words. He stroked the side of her face gently and she kissed his hand.

"I'm scared," he admitted.

"I'm terrified," she told him. Silence once more. "I'm coming back, Remus."

"I know."

"And we're going to have this little girl–"

"Boy."

"–And it'll all turn out alright. You'll see." She offered him a smile and he returned it before kissing her on the forehead.

"Dora, I think I'm in love with you." His sudden announcement made Tonks hold her breath. She turned to him quickly and he gave a small smile of embarrassment.

"Well…you have a think about that and when I get back you can let me know, ok?" she whispered softly.

"Ok," he replied.

* * *

Harry and Hermione were sat in the kitchen, chatting quietly to each other when Tonks and Remus entered. 

"Yay, no more fighting," Harry sang. Tonks laughed at him. "See Hermione, I told you they didn't need our help." Tonks and Remus look to Hermione, who went pink and mumbled something about there being tea in the pot, before burying her head in the Daily Prophet.

"Anything about Hogwarts in there?" Tonks asked as Remus handed her a cup of tea. Hermione shook her head.

"Not a word. They're obviously trying to keep a lid on things. Still, with all the students knowing what was happening, parents are going to find out soon enough." She lowered the paper with a sigh. Tonks turned to Harry.

"How you holding up, kid?" He knew she was referring to Sirius, and just gave a little shrug.

"Not good, not bad. You know," he replied casually. "But I'm a lot better now you two aren't at each other's throats. It was scary with you two fighting, I wasn't sure would win. Hermione, however, was betting on Tonks–"

"That's not true. He's lying. Shut up Harry!" she hit him on the arm and he laughed.

"So, now we're all speaking to each other, I guess this summer isn't going to be so bad," Harry finished. Tonks and Remus looked at each other. Harry saw it immediately.

"What? Come on guys, I know that look. What's wrong?"

"Harry–" Remus began but Harry raised his hand in annoyance.

"Don't 'Harry' me, please. Just tell me." The boy stared at them expectantly. His guardians looked at each other and Hermione flicked between all three, not really knowing who would speak next.

"Ok guys…I'm leaving," Tonks announced. Both Harry and Hermione's mouths dropped.

"What?" they demanded in unison.

"I'm going to Canada to be with my parents." She let the news sink in.

"You can't go," Harry blurted out. "I won't let you."

"I really don't think it's your decision, Harry," Tonks said firmly.

"Is it _yours_?" he asked her bitterly, before turning to glare at Remus. Suddenly, yesterday's argument made perfect sense.

"Well…it wasn't my idea, no. But I know it's the right thing to do." Harry scoffed and looked to the floor. Hermione remained very still and said nothing. "Don't be like this, Harry."

"Don't go," he said bluntly.

"I have to," said Tonks, feeling herself getting annoyed.

"Then I have to be like this!"

An uncomfortable silence fell between them.

"What about me and Hermione, huh? We need you. And Remus too!" Remembering that the man was to blame, Harry turned to him. "And you…you're just letting her walk away. Have you completely gone mad?" Tonks saw Remus waver and gave a loud sigh.

"Listen, I won't be gone long. I'll be back before you go back to school. When the Weasleys come to stay you'll barely notice I've gone. I'll come back, you'll go to school then, on Hermione's birthday I'm gonna have this little girl and you'll be Uncle Harry and Aunty Minnie. Just like we planned. I just…I have to do this. Please don't make this harder for me." She looked between her two students; her two friends. Hermione rose from her seat and threw herself onto Tonks.

"Be careful, Tonks. I'll miss you," the girl sniffed into her shoulder.

"When are you going?" Harry asked gruffly.

"Tomorrow. I'm booking a cab to take you home then me to the airport." The boy nodded. Then moved to hug her.

"I'm sorry. I'm just going to miss you so much." He held her tightly.

"I know, I'll miss you too." She kissed him on the cheek then hugged him again. He then sat back down next to Hermione. The kitchen was suddenly quiet once more.

"Way to depress everyone, Tonks!" Harry joked and they laughed.

"Shut up, boy. Get me some toast, I'm starving." He did as he was told.

* * *

Tonks spent the whole day with Remus, Harry and Hermione, trying to make up for wasting the previous day alone in her room. They also managed to keep each other's minds off Sirius, to a certain extent at least. When early evening arrived, Remus rose from his chair in the drawing room. Harry, Hermione and Tonks all looked to him. 

"Dora can I have a word please?" Before she could respond, Harry cut in.

"Oh don't start fighting again!" he protested. Remus shook his head.

"I just need to speak to her alone, that's all. Please, Dora." His eyes met hers. She began to leave her seat when Hermione rose.

"It's ok, we'll leave. Come on, Harry." She dragged her friend up by his arm. The boy looked rather put out but left the room in silence.

"What's up?" Tonks asked as she heard the door click. Remus sat back down, next to her this time.

"I have to go, Dora."

"But it's not even getting dark yet," she reasoned. He gave a weary sigh.

"I know, but it soon will be." He hated himself. He hated that he had to leave; it was his last chance to hold her in the night, to watch her as she slept, to whisper that he secretly loved her… and he had plans with a full moon.

"I'm scared–" he began, and then wished he hadn't. Seeing her look of confusion, Remus knew he had to continue. "I'm scared that you won't be here when I return in the morning." He looked away from her, slightly embarrassed by this pointless fear. Hearing her give a little laugh, he looked back up. How he loved that laugh.

"Remus, that's just silly!"

"Is it?" he asked, once again feeling foolish. She nodded, taking his hands.

"Yes. Of course I'm going to be here in the morning when you get back. And then we'll say goodbye. Unless this is goodbye now?" she raised her eyebrows questioningly.

"No, it's not," he mumbled. She leant forward and kissed him on the cheek.

"Go on, bugger off." He gave a laugh and they rose together from the couch. Crossing the room, he turned to her at the door.

"I'll see you in the morning then." It wasn't a question.

"See you in the morning," she waved, giving him a smile. He returned it before vacating the room. Tonks rolled her eyes jovially. Exhaling loudly, she gave a small smile.

"I love you, Remus Lupin," she whispered softly to herself.


	45. Three in a bed

A/N: And now, the end is near... ok enough of my singing. This is the penultimate chapter, and things are starting to wind down. I like this chapter, it's fluffy! Anyhoo, Harry's song titles don't belong to me but Daniel Radcliffe does...n't either :( One day maybe.

* * *

Harry made his way to his bedroom. He had to admit he was tired, from staying up late the previous night with Hermione. Before he reached the stairs to his floor he paused, turning in curiosity. He headed for Remus' door and opened it slowly, finding Tonks lying in a ball on the bed. Her hair formed its trademark pink spikes. Harry realised that he hadn't seen them in a while. He gave a light laugh. 

"I knew you'd be in here," he told her from the doorway.

"It smells of him," came the muffled explanation.

"You know Tonks, you really should get out more." She sat up at this, pouting at him indignantly.

"Canada far enough for you?" she asked dryly.

"Too far," her student admitted, crossing the room and joining her on the bed. She put her arm around him and rested her head on his shoulder.

"Sing for me, Harry." The boy paused for a moment.

"Leaving, on a jet plane…" he began quietly and she gave him a gentle shove. "Ok, ok. Any requests? Mama, I'm coming home? All by myself? Stay? Don't leave me this way?"

"Alright, alright! I get the picture…smart arse," she muttered. The boy gave a chuckle. "I love you Harry."

"I know. I love you too…and you also love Remus right?" There was a pause.

"I dunno," Tonks said in a small voice. Harry pulled away from her, blinking in exasperation.

"You dunno? Oh come on," he scoffed. "Don't make me quote song titles at you until you figure it out!"

"Alright, maybe I do love him. But I don't know whether I should. Oh it's so complicated!" She gave a growl and covered her face with a pillow. It smelt of him, which made matters worse, and she quickly removed it.

"What's complicating it? You guys are great together. You're having a kid together for Christ's sake. Plus he thinks you're amazing which, let's face it, very few people do." She shoved him once more and he laughed, almost toppling off the bed. "Ok, ok. Sorry. I'll let you figure out your feelings by yourself. I'm not so good with the mushy stuff anyway."

They sat in a relaxing silence, listening to the light rain that had begun to fall outside. Harry looked down to notice that Tonks had fallen asleep. He moved her so that her head was touching the pillow, and gave her a kiss on the forehead before lying down beside her.

"Oh you think so, do you?" Tonks mumbled sleepily, her eyes still closed. Harry gave a cheeky grin.

"Yeah, actually I do."

"Fine. Snore and you're dead!" Harry gave a light laugh and closed his eyes, falling to sleep immediately.

Tonks woke abruptly, as if it were morning. It was, in fact, the dead of night. The glow from the full moon entered the window, reminding Tonks of why she was alone. No, not alone… She turned her head, and received a face full of long bushy hair. Hermione? When had that happened? Tonks stroked the hair back off the girl's face. She looked so peaceful and naïve. Tonks rolled over gently to find Harry asleep on her right. The boy was frowning slightly as he slept, mumbling quietly under his breath. Was that what had woken her? Tonks sat up slightly, half expecting to see Buckbeak asleep on the end of the bed. She smiled at the ridiculous thought. What would Remus do if he came back to find the three of them asleep in his bed? _Probably sleep on the floor,_ Tonks mused. Harry began to mumble again, louder this time.

"Hey? … Hey?" Tonks whispered. The boy stirred but didn't open his eyes.

"What?" he croaked sleepily.

"You were talking in your sleep." A pause.

"About a blonde called Martha?" Tonks frowned, clearly baffled.

"No…about Sirius." There was no response. "You ok?" She felt him nod. "Wanna talk about it?" The boy licked his dry lips and shook his head.

"No. It was a good dream. I'm sorry if I woke you. Go back to sleep."

Tonks rolled back over towards Hermione, satisfied that her friend was ok.

"Who is Martha?" she asked and heard Harry breath a laugh. He put an arm around her.

"Go to sleep, Tonks."

* * *

Remus managed to drag his feet up the stone steps of Number 12 Grimmauld Place. His head pounded terribly and he wondered whether it felt more like it was imploding or exploding. Perhaps both. Realising that this was impossible, he dismissed the thought as it caused even more pain to do so. He let himself into the house, and peeped his head around the kitchen door. 

"Morning," Harry called too cheerfully. Remus gave a wince. "Sorry," the boy added, lowering his voice.

"Your night, ok?" Hermione enquired.

"Fantastic," Remus yawned, feeling his jaw crack. "Where's Tonks?" He had felt a sudden jolt of fear when he had first noticed her absence. He then chided himself for it.

"I think she's still asleep," Harry told him and Remus gave a nod.

"Ok, I'll just go check in on her. See you two later."

Remus shuffled up the many flights of stairs ("Bloody house!") and made his way to Tonks' door. Knocking gently, he opened it to find the room empty. He blinked at the neatly made bed, thinking of the many other places she could be. The shower, feeding Buckbeak. Definitely not Canada anyway.

Remus finally reached his door, feeling very grateful that it wasn't another step further. Opening the door, he spotted her immediately. Remus smiled to himself and closed the door quietly behind him. He kicked off his shoes, cringing as they made a loud thud on the floor. Tonks began to stir. Remus sat down gently on the bed, fingering her pink spikes (_It's been a while since I've seen those,_) and moved his hand down to stroke her cheek. Tonks opened her eyes, bright topaz this morning, and smiled up at him.

"I think you'll find Miss Tonks," he said gently, "that this is in fact my bed."

"I think you'll find Mr Lupin, that I'm just keeping it warm for you." She shuffled up to make room for him and he climbed in under the covers.

"And what a great job you're doing. I'm most grateful." She gave a little giggle and pressed her lips gently against his, only briefly but just enough to let him know that she had missed him. He settled down into the bed, closing his eyes sleepily but feeling her gaze still on him.

"Do you want me to go?" she asked. Remus said nothing; he simply put his arm around her and drew her closer. This told Tonks all she needed to know. She closed her eyes too, and gave a sigh of contentment.

"Ok then," she mumbled. "5 minutes."

"Ten," Remus argued. Tonks opened her eyes to see him close his again quickly, mischievously. She gave a little giggle.

"Alight then, ten," she resigned. Remus kissed her lightly on her bare shoulder before falling asleep immediately. Tonks joined him.

It was two hours later, almost midday, when Tonks stirred. Seeing Remus asleep beside her, she smiled.

"Some ten minutes that was," she whispered, kissing him on the head. She made her way without so much as a creak to the door, and then managed to stub her toe on it as she opened it.

"Where do you think you're going?" came a muffled voice from the bed. Tonks froze then spun, cursing his heightened wolf-senses.

"Canada?" she said feebly. He gave a little growl and Tonks rolled her eyes playfully.

"Get back here," he demanded, though it was hardly stern due his sleepiness. Tonks shuffled hesitantly back to the bed and perched herself on the edge.

"I have to go pack, Remus." There was obvious regret in her voice. Remus didn't respond and Tonks thought he had fallen back asleep until an arm reached out from the covers and pulled her with surprising force back into the bed. Tonks let out a jovial wail.

"Five minutes, promise," Remus told her and she gave a nod. Five minutes. When his gaze continued to land on her she raised her eyebrows.

"Well? Sleep."

"I don't want to." There was a brief pause. "Don't leave, Dora."

"Remus!" Tonks groaned, rolling onto her back. The wizard recoiled slightly. Tonks' expression softened. "Oh Remus, please don't do this to me. It's gonna be hard enough for me to leave here without knowing that you're going to be moping every day until I get back. And I know you Rem, you'll mope! You're good at moping…you and Sirius." She gave him a firm nod but offered him a grin, which the man returned.

"You said the other day that you didn't think you knew me at all," Remus commented dryly. Tonks gave a laugh, and then looked him straight in the eyes.

"I know you," she whispered, stroking his hair. "I know that you hate night time, and are secretly afraid of the dark. I know you prefer rain to sunshine. You tell people your favourite colour is blue when really it's brown. You like strawberry jam on toast but blackcurrant jam in sandwiches. You think the moon is beautiful, even though it hurts you. You think that loneliness is the greatest curse that could ever be inflicted upon a man…And I know you're going to watch me leave today, and think that you may lost another person in your life forever."

Tonks stopped there, knowing that she had made her point. Remus blinked at her.

"I guess you do know me a little," he mumbled, breaking her stare. Tonks tinkled a laugh and kissed him on the cheek.

"Your five minutes are up Professor Lupin." She sat up and this time he didn't stop her. "I'm gonna go pack. I'll see you in a bit." Skipping across the room, she blew him a kiss from the door then disappeared from the room. Remus gave a smile before falling asleep to dream of her.


	46. See you later

A/N: As we reach the end of our journey, may I please advise you to remain in your seats until this story has come to a halt. Thank you for traveling on the Kat-mobile :)

* * *

Tonks refused to spend long on her packing, after all the taxi was booked for 1pm. She hurled her clothes into a trunk with a clumsy spell, wondering what on earth her mother would say if she had seen. Tonks lazily Accio-ed her trunk down the many flights of stairs, hitching her bag up onto her shoulder several times as she did so. As she reached the entrance hall she stopped, seeing Harry's trunk and owl cage by the door. Manoeuvring her trunk with surprising agility around the troll-leg umbrella stand (_I'm not going to miss that one bit!) _Tonks took a deep breath as she surveyed the luggage. Then, taking a step back and catching her foot on the corner of her trunk, she stumbled over the umbrella stand. She would have landed with a thud had it not been for a quick arm arriving underneath her. She heard a laugh from behind. 

"Oh I'm _so_ glad I got to see that!" Tonks looked up from the floor to see the twinkling green eyes of Harry Potter. She scowled at him then grinned. The boy helped her up and then pulled her into a hug.

"Ready to go?" he asked over her shoulder.

"No," she squeaked emotionally. They pulled apart, surveying each other for a beat. "Oh!" Tonks exclaimed, causing the moment to end abruptly. "Oh, I almost forgot." She opened her bag, and retrieved Harry's long 'lost' navy blue sweatshirt. He gave a grin as Tonks handed it over. "Back to its rightful owner. It seems so long ago since I first borrowed this. I was a lot thinner back then." She barked a laugh. Harry shook his head.

"Nah, you keep it. Look after it for me. You can give it back when you get home." He smiled at her and Tonks nodded to him.

The pair made their way down the kitchen steps. Hermione sat at the table looking forlorn. She gave her friends a brief smile and looked back to the table. Tonks was surprised to find Remus sat beside the girl. His hands cupped a mug of tea tightly. He looked up at Tonks and Harry.

"What are you doing up?" Tonks asked Remus as she sat down beside him.

"Have to say goodbye, don't I," the man said quietly. Tonks offered him a smile, taking one of his hands. He squeezed it affectionately. The four of them sat in an awkward silence. Harry cleared his throat loudly a couple of times but said nothing. Suddenly, Tonks sprung up from her seat.

"Oh yeah, I forgot…" she squealed. Remus frowned in confusion. "Minnie, what did you do with Remus' present?"

"You brought me a present?" he asked, in mild surprise. Tonks nodded enthusiastically.

"Uh huh, the idea came to me when you left yesterday. You're gonna love it!" She turned to Hermione again. "You were looking after it…where is it?"

The girl's face flashed a flicker of uncertainty.

"Uh…it's in one of the spare rooms…I'll go get it." She raced off. Tonks and Harry beamed at Remus, who looked rather nervous.

"Should I be scared?" he asked timidly.

Hermione could be heard walking quickly down the stairs. Remus turned to see the girl, carrying in her arms…a chocolate Labrador puppy.

"It's a dog!" Tonks announced unnecessarily, her grin never fading. Remus blinked at the puppy wriggling in Hermione's arms. The girl passed the puppy over to her new owner.

"Say hi to your new daddy," Hermione said in a babyish voice. The puppy licked at Remus' hands, trying hard to nibble at his fingers. He turned to see all three faces grinning expectantly at him.

"Well?" Harry asked. Remus took a deep breath and then grinned.

"I love it, thank you."

"Yay!" Tonks squealed and threw her arms around Remus and the dog. The puppy tried to chew at her collar as she did so. "I didn't want you to get lonely," she whispered to Remus and he looked down at her. She was suddenly shy and looked away.

"Hey," he whispered back and she returned his gaze. "Thank you, Dora." He kissed her lightly on the lips and she beamed once more. Remus' arms began to ache so he lowered the dog down onto the floor. She wobbled as she walked, clearly having just been woken up. She gave a little yap and took another step, before piddling on the floor. Tonks gave a little giggle.

"Remus, your dog's just pissed on the floor," she sang. The man just stared at her incredulously. Tonks poked her tongue out in his direction.

"It's nearly one, Tonks," Harry spoke up from the other side of the table. Tonks' grin faded.

"Right…well, I guess we'd better get sorted then."

Leaving the puppy to wander curiously under the chairs, the four of them made their way to the entrance hall. Remus moved to Harry first and the two wizards embraced.

"Look after yourself," the elder said. "Write, but not too often. We'll see you in a couple of weeks." The boy nodded to him.

"Ok. I'm going to miss you. Look after Hermione for me," he added quietly and his guardian nodded. They embraced once more, and then Harry sidestepped to Hermione.

"Well H, it's been fun." He offered his hand and she giggled, knocking it aside and pulling him close to her. "Take care of yourself, Hermione. I'll see you soon." He heard her sniff into his shoulder. "You better not be crying." She gave a laugh and they pulled apart.

"I'll send you a birthday card," she told him. "See you in a few weeks."

Then it was Tonks' turn, and too soon for her liking. She put an arm around Hermione.

"Bye then Min. I'm gonna miss you so much. Stay strong for me, hey? Do your homework." She winked at the girl. "And take care of Remus for me," she added softly. The girl nodded. Tonks turned to Remus. "Well, I guess it's your turn."

"I'll give you a hand with these trunks Harry," Hermione said loudly. The boy frowned, and Hermione opened her eyes wide. Blushing in stupidity, he followed his best friend to the door, trunks in tow.

Once alone, the two adults stood uncomfortably. Remus played with his hands, before realising that his nervousness was foolish and pulled Tonks tightly to him. He felt the ever-growing bump in between their bodies and gave an emotional sigh. She could feel his warm breath on the back of her bare neck and she wanted to cry. No, she would not cry. She would _not_ cry!

"This isn't goodbye," she whispered, letting her lips brush against his neck as he held her there. "More of a … see you later." They pulled apart. Remus nodded to her.

"See you later, then." Remus looked at her, stood there in front of him, her cute pink spikes and bright topaz eyes. Licking his lips awkwardly, he hesitated before speaking again.

"Dora, will you do me a favour?" he asked timidly. Tonks frowned slightly.

"Would you…will you…will you morph for me? I want to remember the real you." Tonks obeyed immediately, closing her eyes and morphing without scrunching her face up back to her natural features. It was that simple. She opened her dark eyes and smiled at her friend. Remus looked at her, his Dora, and felt his breath catch in his throat. She really was beautiful, his Dora.

"Thank you," he whispered and she smiled, suddenly feeling shy.

He took her hand and Tonks could feel herself being slowly directed to the open door. She wanted very much to stop in her tracks and run upstairs to hide. Buckbeak would hide her; he was kind like that.

The bright light of the summer afternoon stung both of their eyes. They made their way slowly down the stone steps. Tonks saw the taxi pulled outside Number 10 Grimmauld Place, having not been able to locate Number 12. Seeing the vehicle, Tonks burst into tears. _Damn it!_ she thought angrily to herself. Remus shushed her, rubbing her back gently and planting a kiss on her forehead. He wiped away a tear with his thumb and she kissed the palm of his hand.

"Look after yourself, Dora." He couldn't think of anything else to say. "You come back to me, you hear?" Tonks nodded.

"I'm gonna miss you so much," she sobbed. Remus swallowed hard. "See you later," she managed to squeak.

"See you later," he whispered. They hugged once more, briefly this time, as if it was purely for the need of physical contact. Tonks broke away suddenly and turned, walking at a pace towards Harry and the cab, and not looking back.

Harry's eyes fell on his male guardian briefly. He gave him a quick wave, which was returned, before joining Tonks in the car.

"Little Whinging?" the cab driver asked casually. Tonks rubbed her face with both hands, leaving Harry to answer.

"That's right. Then the airport please." Harry turned to see Remus and Hermione stood together on the curb. The driver gave a brief nod and set off. Tonks gave a sudden jolt, realising that they were moving.

"Wait. Wait! Please, just hang on one second," she begged the driver and he stopped once more, throwing her a quizzical look. Harry also frowned at her.

"Tonks, what are you doing?" he asked but it was too late, she had gotten out of the car and headed in a sprint back to the house.

"What are you doing you silly girl?" Remus asked her as she panted up to him. Tonks stopped dead in front of him, taking a few deep breaths and chiding herself for her lack of exercise. She looked up into his light eyes, full of sadness and confusion. Without another thought she stood on her toes and kissed him passionately, feeling his arms move around her waste. Tears rolled down her cheeks but she didn't care. All she cared about was him. Hearing beeping, and Harry cheering gleefully in the background, Tonks began to giggle. They pulled apart, too soon for each of their liking.

"Dora–" Remus began breathlessly but she raised a finger to his lips.

"I'm sorry, I had to ok? And here's something for you to think about while I'm gone: I love you. I don't want you to say anything; I just wanted you to know. I love you, Remus." They fell silent, breathing heavily. Remus blinked at her and she flashed him a grin.

"Well…bye." She turned and skipped back to the waiting car.

* * *

Harry had watched her run to him. He grinned at her. It was like something out of a Muggle movie. The cabbie was staring at him. 

"That your sister?" he asked the boy. Harry paused, then nodded with a grin. Seeing his two guardians join together in a powerful kiss caused Harry's grin to widen. He stuck his head out of the open window.

"Woooooooooh!" he yelled. The driver laughed, beeping his horn playfully.

"That's some sister you've got there, kid," the man chuckled.

"Yeah," Harry breathed.

"And who's the man?" he asked out of mild interest. Harry smile faded and he paused, thinking for one moment before replying.

"My Godfather," he told him.

Tonks climbed back into the car, exhaling loudly.

"Right…_now_ I'm ready to go!"

The car began to move once more, and its two passengers turned to watch Grimmauld Place disappear in the distance, knowing that they would both be home…soon.

* * *

A/N: Well, that's all folks. It's so sad to finally finish this, I've been working on it for months. 

A HUGE thank you to all those who read this tale, and especially to those who reviewed. It's people like you who encourage me to stick at things in life.

Please review one final time and let me know what you thought of the story as a whole...plus any useful advice you have on how to make the next stories better. I would really appreiciate ideas for the remainder of the trilogy, so if you have any, please let me know. Story 2 is nearly done, but Story 3 is barely planned. Input is always good.

Look out for my ridiculous comedy starring Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and of course (Nymphadora) Tonks. It's called "For love or money" and will be posted shortly. Please read some of my other fics, if you so desire. I've done a bit of comedy with the Marauders, and the Order, plus some downright depressing angst. Check it out if you're ever bored.

Well, I guess all I have to say now is thank you again. Keep on writing guys :)

Kitty x x x


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